Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: 1. You might want to ignore the dates. Trying to figure out the timeline of this show may make your head explode.
The Cosmo Quiz Jackie takes isn't actually a Cosmo quiz. I found it at Women.com who found it from a book called Rate Your Relationship. If anyone knows where I can find Cosmo quizzes from the '70s would you mind emailing me (jtcjustacrush@hotmal.com)?
Jackie Burkhardt's Diary
By: anlyn
"The Smelly Basement"
1976
Friday February 13
Dear Diary:
It's finally happening! Michael Kelso is about to ask me on a date!
I heard it from Cindy who heard it from Janice who heard it from Mary who heard it from her cousin who overheard Michael talking to his friends about it. Eeee! He's coming over here. Time to act cool and detached.
I'm going on a date with Michael Kelso!!!
Love,
The Future Mrs. Jackie Kelso.
Saturday February 14.
Dear Diary:
Valentine's Day is an excellent day for a first date, don't you think?
The date with Michael was . nice. We went to The Hub; at least everyone knows we're going out. I pretended to be very interested in what he was talking about, just like Cosmo said (Space Dogs, I'm not sure if he meant dogs from space or Earth dogs going to space). Michael walked me home and, of course, he tried to kiss me. I told him I don't kiss on the first date. He said we already had kissed. It doesn't count when you're nine and in Eric Foreman's smelly basement.
Cosmo Quiz:
When you spoke to arrange the date, who suggested the date's activities?
My date had planned out the entire evening, and told me that all I had to do was arrive
Like I would choose to go to The Hub.
How would you best describe the overall mood on your date?
Flirty
I did my very best hair flip.
How many times during the evening did one or both of you burst out laughing?
I laughed politely once or twice
Only I'm not sure if he meant to be funny. What outward signs did you give your date that you were interested?
I nodded and smiled a lot
Just the way men like.
How would you describe the degree of sexual tension on your date?
Steamy and intense
We ARE the two prettiest people at school. Probably in all of Point Place.
Which of the following is the closest to your date's final words?
"I'll call you...sometime"
That's exactly what he said, actually.
Your date seemed to want to tell revealing personal stories. How did you react?
Try to politely change the subject to lighter topics
Well he did keep talking about these stray dogs he likes to play with. I don't think that's what they mean though.
During dinner, you glanced at your date while he thought you were both looking at your menus and deciding what to order. Your date was:
Smiling happily
Staring at you intensely
He was smiling happily WHILE staring at me intensely.
How well do you feel that you held up your end of the conversation?
Well, I replied to his questions and vice versa
There wasn't really a lot of questions.
Did your date seem comfortable making eye contact with you throughout the evening?
Absolutely. Our eyes were locked most of the night
Well, duh. I mean, look at us.
Answer:
Coming Back for More!
Better warm up your sultry phone voice and get ready for your next date... it seems like a pretty sure thing that a date this great will bear repeating. Considering how well the two of you connected, it sounds as if your date will definitely call you back. Your date might not have been a perfect love connection, but it sounds like the two of you enjoyed each other's company and found plenty of common ground. If your date is interested in taking a chance, it seems likely that he'll call again. But remember, you never really know what someone is thinking so give it a few days and if you don't get a call, move on.
Yes!
Sunday February 15
Michael hasn't called me.
Monday February 16
He still hasn't called.
Tuesday February 17
Maybe I should of let him kiss me.
Wednesday February 18
Still no phone call. Maybe I should call him? No. What am I thinking? That's a stupid idea.
Thursday February 19
I don't care. I can do a lot better than Michael Kelso!
Friday February 20
He called!!! We're going to The Hub! Again.
Saturday February 28
Dear Diary:
Michael is an idiot.
I told him he had better take me somewhere besides The Hub and where does that moron take me? Eric Foreman's smelly basement. And the smell's gotten worse! I swear it smells just like the maid's room. And Michael's friends are.
Well, I don't think Eric's reached puberty yet. He's all skinny and girlish. More girlish really than Donna, who I guess is Eric's girlfriend or something. She was this giant dressed in plaid. Plaid!! She looked like a lumberjack. When I very gently pointed this out to her ("Why are you dressed as a lumberjack? Are you going to a costume party?") she looked like she was going to attack me. She probably would too. The big goon.
There was a weird foreign kid eating stuff off the floor. Being weird and foreign, I did my best to ignore him.
But the worst was Steven Hyde. Hyde (what kind of stupid name is that?).
Hy .ugh. I can't. Steven said, "Aren't you a cheerleader?" But not in a way that indicated he was impressed by my popularity, or my God-given cheerleading ability, more like he thought it was something to be ashamed of (he's the one with pork chop sideburns!). Then he said Eric shouldn't let rich cheerleaders into his basement as I met infect it with "school spirit or an overwhelming desire to spell out words with our arms". I pointed out that Eric obviously lets foreigners and poor people stay, so why shouldn't he let me stay too? Steven then said something very rude about my shirt (the one with the rainbow and unicorn on it) while he sat there in an ugly old Led Zapplan T-shirt.
That's about the time I told Michael to take me home. It seemed really important to him that I like his friends, and for some strange reason, I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. So instead, I let him kiss me.
Clearly, I must remove Michael from the bad influence of his friends as soon as possible. I don't plan to spend any more time in that basement.
A/N: 1. You might want to ignore the dates. Trying to figure out the timeline of this show may make your head explode.
The Cosmo Quiz Jackie takes isn't actually a Cosmo quiz. I found it at Women.com who found it from a book called Rate Your Relationship. If anyone knows where I can find Cosmo quizzes from the '70s would you mind emailing me (jtcjustacrush@hotmal.com)?
Jackie Burkhardt's Diary
By: anlyn
"The Smelly Basement"
1976
Friday February 13
Dear Diary:
It's finally happening! Michael Kelso is about to ask me on a date!
I heard it from Cindy who heard it from Janice who heard it from Mary who heard it from her cousin who overheard Michael talking to his friends about it. Eeee! He's coming over here. Time to act cool and detached.
I'm going on a date with Michael Kelso!!!
Love,
The Future Mrs. Jackie Kelso.
Saturday February 14.
Dear Diary:
Valentine's Day is an excellent day for a first date, don't you think?
The date with Michael was . nice. We went to The Hub; at least everyone knows we're going out. I pretended to be very interested in what he was talking about, just like Cosmo said (Space Dogs, I'm not sure if he meant dogs from space or Earth dogs going to space). Michael walked me home and, of course, he tried to kiss me. I told him I don't kiss on the first date. He said we already had kissed. It doesn't count when you're nine and in Eric Foreman's smelly basement.
Cosmo Quiz:
When you spoke to arrange the date, who suggested the date's activities?
My date had planned out the entire evening, and told me that all I had to do was arrive
Like I would choose to go to The Hub.
How would you best describe the overall mood on your date?
Flirty
I did my very best hair flip.
How many times during the evening did one or both of you burst out laughing?
I laughed politely once or twice
Only I'm not sure if he meant to be funny. What outward signs did you give your date that you were interested?
I nodded and smiled a lot
Just the way men like.
How would you describe the degree of sexual tension on your date?
Steamy and intense
We ARE the two prettiest people at school. Probably in all of Point Place.
Which of the following is the closest to your date's final words?
"I'll call you...sometime"
That's exactly what he said, actually.
Your date seemed to want to tell revealing personal stories. How did you react?
Try to politely change the subject to lighter topics
Well he did keep talking about these stray dogs he likes to play with. I don't think that's what they mean though.
During dinner, you glanced at your date while he thought you were both looking at your menus and deciding what to order. Your date was:
Smiling happily
Staring at you intensely
He was smiling happily WHILE staring at me intensely.
How well do you feel that you held up your end of the conversation?
Well, I replied to his questions and vice versa
There wasn't really a lot of questions.
Did your date seem comfortable making eye contact with you throughout the evening?
Absolutely. Our eyes were locked most of the night
Well, duh. I mean, look at us.
Answer:
Coming Back for More!
Better warm up your sultry phone voice and get ready for your next date... it seems like a pretty sure thing that a date this great will bear repeating. Considering how well the two of you connected, it sounds as if your date will definitely call you back. Your date might not have been a perfect love connection, but it sounds like the two of you enjoyed each other's company and found plenty of common ground. If your date is interested in taking a chance, it seems likely that he'll call again. But remember, you never really know what someone is thinking so give it a few days and if you don't get a call, move on.
Yes!
Sunday February 15
Michael hasn't called me.
Monday February 16
He still hasn't called.
Tuesday February 17
Maybe I should of let him kiss me.
Wednesday February 18
Still no phone call. Maybe I should call him? No. What am I thinking? That's a stupid idea.
Thursday February 19
I don't care. I can do a lot better than Michael Kelso!
Friday February 20
He called!!! We're going to The Hub! Again.
Saturday February 28
Dear Diary:
Michael is an idiot.
I told him he had better take me somewhere besides The Hub and where does that moron take me? Eric Foreman's smelly basement. And the smell's gotten worse! I swear it smells just like the maid's room. And Michael's friends are.
Well, I don't think Eric's reached puberty yet. He's all skinny and girlish. More girlish really than Donna, who I guess is Eric's girlfriend or something. She was this giant dressed in plaid. Plaid!! She looked like a lumberjack. When I very gently pointed this out to her ("Why are you dressed as a lumberjack? Are you going to a costume party?") she looked like she was going to attack me. She probably would too. The big goon.
There was a weird foreign kid eating stuff off the floor. Being weird and foreign, I did my best to ignore him.
But the worst was Steven Hyde. Hyde (what kind of stupid name is that?).
Hy .ugh. I can't. Steven said, "Aren't you a cheerleader?" But not in a way that indicated he was impressed by my popularity, or my God-given cheerleading ability, more like he thought it was something to be ashamed of (he's the one with pork chop sideburns!). Then he said Eric shouldn't let rich cheerleaders into his basement as I met infect it with "school spirit or an overwhelming desire to spell out words with our arms". I pointed out that Eric obviously lets foreigners and poor people stay, so why shouldn't he let me stay too? Steven then said something very rude about my shirt (the one with the rainbow and unicorn on it) while he sat there in an ugly old Led Zapplan T-shirt.
That's about the time I told Michael to take me home. It seemed really important to him that I like his friends, and for some strange reason, I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. So instead, I let him kiss me.
Clearly, I must remove Michael from the bad influence of his friends as soon as possible. I don't plan to spend any more time in that basement.
