Angry All The Time
Chapter 7/?
Chapter cowritten by Lucky Star and Jordan
Simon
I stood in the doorway watching her for a moment, wondering what was going through her head. She flipped through the channels on the television at least twice through while I was standing there. Most days I feel like I know her backward and forward and inside out. Tonight I felt like I didn't know her at all. I snapped off the bathroom light and joined her in the bedroom. "Victoria, what's wrong?" I asked without meaning to say the words out loud.
She stopped the almost obsessive channel surfing, but did not look at me. "What do you mean?"
"I mean something's bothering you. I can tell." I stepped out of my jeans and tossed them to the dirty clothes hamper just inside the bathroom door.
Victoria looked at me then, only briefly, just long enough to flash a little smile, if it could be called that when just the corners of her mouth twitch slightly. "I guess I'm just tired today," she sighed and turned her attention back to the TV. An old cop show was on, filmed long before our time. She wouldn't possibly be interested in it.
"It's more than that," I told her point blank, because I knew it was. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what would be bothering her, unless she was upset about Lucy and her kids being here, but I didn't think it was that. Victoria knows I would do anything for my family, and that includes the sister and four kids I haven't really seen for thirteen years.
"No," Victoria started flipping through the channels again. "It isn't more than that. I'm tired. Bella was really fussy today and Autumn wouldn't take a nap."
I don't know why or what possessed me to do it, but I grabbed the remote control out of her hand and turned the television off. I said her name, Victoria, almost an apology, but more a request that she tell me what's really going on. I had a weird feeling about this, which kind of scared me. Victoria never avoided me like this, never used the TV to hide.
I dropped the remote off the side of the bed and took both her hands in mine. Her eyes were closed, her mouth drawn tight. Something had to be eating at her. "Is it Lucy? Do you want me to ask Lucy to go?"
She took a deep breath, like trying to get herself under control before she said anything, like she was afraid to say something she would regret. "No..." Her voice wavered, like she was about to cry.
"Honey," I squeezed her hands to let her know I was on her side, no matter what, and I would ask Lucy to leave if that's what Victoria wanted. "Whatever it is, you know you can tell me and we'll deal with it. Together."
She took another deep, wavering breath. "I'm just tired, Simon. I think I might be getting sick or something. Are you ready to turn out the light yet?"
I went to turn off the light at the switch across the room.
I couldn't shake the feeling that something really big was bothering her, and I felt a pain in my soul because she wouldn't tell me what. She didn't trust me enough to tell me. Lucy was really the only thing that made sense. Maybe Victoria just didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me she wanted my sister to leave. But I gave her the chance to tell me, and she insisted she's just tired.
Victoria and I have always told each other everything. I don't like feeling this way. I don't understand what she thinks she can't tell me.
I crawled back into the bed to find her back turned to me. I curled up next to her and pulled her to me. She felt cold, not warm or feverish as she would if she was getting sick.
I think I had just started to drift off when I felt her slip away from me and out of the bed. I thought she was just going to the bathroom, and I imagined her curled up in there against the wall crying because of whatever she is going through that she can't share with me. I would find her there and she would confess to me, tell me everything. And we would deal with it, figure out what to do about it, together.
She didn't go around the bed to the bathroom. She headed out the main door into the hallway. I waited a moment, then got up to follow her. I found her in Bella's room, standing next to the crib. Autumn, Caroline, and Rory Anne slept on the floor because the two boys were in Autumn's room for the night.
It took a moment to realize Victoria held the top bar of Bella's crib so tightly it made her hands shake. I went to her, put my arms around her from behind. She jumped and made a startled sound. Lucy's littlest, Rory Anne, whimpered in her sleep. I glanced at the girls, but Victoria was my concern, and I took her head against my shoulder and instinctively rubbed her back.
She resisted, pushed againstme like she wanted to get away,. "Shhh. Baby. Shhh. It's me," I told her and after a few seconds she sagged against my shoulder and put her arms around my waist.
I led her from the room so we wouldn't disturb the children. I took her back to our bedroom and sat her on the edge of our bed. "What is it, Tory? What happened today?"
She cringed at the name, Tory. I only use it when I'm emotional.
"I can't tell you," she whispered and I had to strain to hear the words.
"Why?" I asked her, because I couldn't imagine anything so horrible that she couldn't tell me. I didn't like knowing she felt she couldn't tell me. "If it's Lucy..."
She shook her head. "It's not. It's not Lucy, Simon.:
"Then what? You can tell me anything, Tory. You know that." I wanted to kick something. Not Victoria. Just something. Anything to ease this frustration.
She turned her face from me and sighed. Again. "Not this. I can't tell you this. Please don't ask me to."
I knelt in front of her, looking up at her profile. I took both her hands in mine and held them there. "Something has got you al tied in knots and I'm not supposed to ask what it is? Tory, baby, you know I won't rest until I know what it is. I hate seeing you this way. I hate that I feel so helpless and I don't know what to do to help you because I don't even know what is wrong."
She started crying which only made me feel more helpless. I rubbed the back of her hand hoping that would comfort her somehow.
"I'm sorry," she said but the words dissolved into tears. After a moment she took several beep breaths to get the tears under control. Then she looked at me with a hard, determined look. "I just want to go to bed, Simon."
I nodded, even though I felt more hurt now than before. I knew something was bothering her, upsetting her. She is my wife, and I can't stand knowing she is upset and there's nothing I can do to help her. But I can't help her because she won't tell me what's wrong.
She crawled in under the covers. "He was here."
"Who?" I asked, my voice small. The hairs on my arms stood up on end.
"Kevin. Lucy's Kevin."
My heart skipped a beat. I know it did. I swallowed hard and clenched my fists. "Kevin? Kevin was here?" I wanted to kill the bastard as soon as I heard his name. How dare he come here and threaten my wife. And I knew he threatened her, and it all made sense now. He must have told her he would hurt her if she said a word to anyone about his little visit. "Oh Honey, what did he do? Did he hurt you?"
I tried to pull Victoria into my arms, but she turned away from me as soon as she was on her feet.
"He was asking me questions. About Lucy and the kids. And he said...he said if I told anyone he'd kill the girls. Autumn and Bella. That he could make it look like an accident and no one would believe me over him anyway."
"Did he touch you? Did he hurt you, Tory?" I remembered Autumn telling me about the man who upset Mommy. Victoria told me it was the meter reader, and he scared her because she didn't know he was there.
She just stared at me, her eyes blank like she was in shock.
"Did he touch the girls, Tory?"
"No, he didn't hurt her. He...He put his hand on her head and talked about how soft it was, how the skull is unformed," Panic raced through me at the through of Kevin holding my baby. Little Bella. Too little to understand what danger she was in, too little to fight back. "And he squeezed like he was going to crush it, and she started crying. he took her from me, Simon. I'm sorry! I didn't mean for him to...
I could see the pain and the terror in her features and I wanted to hold her and comfort her, stroke her hair and tell her everything will be okay, but the truth was that I didn't know. I didn't know what Kevin might be capable of.
"Don't. Tory, it's not your fault. He didn't hurt her. Remember that. He didn't hurt her."
She was looking at me, but not looking at me. Looking through me. Seeing Kevin again. Seeing Kevin holding her baby. "No, but he will. He said if I told you...if I told anyone..."
"Of course he said that. He's sick, Tory. He's been abusing Lucy for years. She left him. And he lost his punching bag." I really did not like thinking about my sister that way, but that's what she would have been to him. To Kevin. And dear God, I realized I had played with into his hands by bringing her here.
Victoria looked shell shocked. That was the only word I knew to describe her. Like a war veteran. "He said he'll kill her too. He knows she's coming here. He's probably watching the house right now." Her voice was flat, monotoned.
I shook my head. "No, baby. He can't get in. The alarm will go off and the police would come."
She stared straight ahead. "He's going to do it. He'll find some way to get in here. He probably has it all planned out."
"Honey, listen to me. He wants Lucy. Not you, and not Bella. He used Bella to get to you, but you didn't know anything about Lucy. Even if he knows she's here now, he would have done something when we all went to bed, and that was hours ago. He's probably going to wait to try to get Lucy alone."
"You don't know that." She stated with a tone that seemed to accuse me of something. She jerked her attention back to the window, as if looking for him. "I can feel him watching this house, Simon. We don't know what he's going to do. It could be anything...anything"
I know my sister would never do anything to endanger me or my family, and I hoped she knew if it came down to her or my wife and kids, I would choose Victoria and the girls in a heartbeat.
"Okay.It's okay. He hasn't done anything yet, Tory. I don't think he's going to do anything tonight. He wants Lucy. Not us."
"Simon, I want the girls in here. With us."
I nodded. "Of course." I shivered and rubbed my arms. Of course I wanted my babies close to me, after what Victoria had just told me.
We went to the bedroom together. I picked Autumn up off the floor and held her in my arms while Victoria changed Bella's diaper. We carried the girls back to our room and settled on the bed. Victoria fed Bella from her breast and I settled back against the pillows trying to keep myself calm despite the uneasy feeling ballooning in the pit of my stomache.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End chapter 7. Please R/R and let me (and Jordan) know what you think. Jordan created Victoria for my fic, If These Walls Could Talk, and we decided to use her int his fic and Angel Boy as well. Chances are Victoria will show up in Simon's Choice too. She is the same character the way Simon is the same character. Recurring, I guess. None of my stories are connected to the others. Victoria is her own independent character. And I hope that makes sense! Anyway, I appreciate your time when you read my fics and I want you to let me know what you think. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
Chapter 7/?
Chapter cowritten by Lucky Star and Jordan
Simon
I stood in the doorway watching her for a moment, wondering what was going through her head. She flipped through the channels on the television at least twice through while I was standing there. Most days I feel like I know her backward and forward and inside out. Tonight I felt like I didn't know her at all. I snapped off the bathroom light and joined her in the bedroom. "Victoria, what's wrong?" I asked without meaning to say the words out loud.
She stopped the almost obsessive channel surfing, but did not look at me. "What do you mean?"
"I mean something's bothering you. I can tell." I stepped out of my jeans and tossed them to the dirty clothes hamper just inside the bathroom door.
Victoria looked at me then, only briefly, just long enough to flash a little smile, if it could be called that when just the corners of her mouth twitch slightly. "I guess I'm just tired today," she sighed and turned her attention back to the TV. An old cop show was on, filmed long before our time. She wouldn't possibly be interested in it.
"It's more than that," I told her point blank, because I knew it was. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what would be bothering her, unless she was upset about Lucy and her kids being here, but I didn't think it was that. Victoria knows I would do anything for my family, and that includes the sister and four kids I haven't really seen for thirteen years.
"No," Victoria started flipping through the channels again. "It isn't more than that. I'm tired. Bella was really fussy today and Autumn wouldn't take a nap."
I don't know why or what possessed me to do it, but I grabbed the remote control out of her hand and turned the television off. I said her name, Victoria, almost an apology, but more a request that she tell me what's really going on. I had a weird feeling about this, which kind of scared me. Victoria never avoided me like this, never used the TV to hide.
I dropped the remote off the side of the bed and took both her hands in mine. Her eyes were closed, her mouth drawn tight. Something had to be eating at her. "Is it Lucy? Do you want me to ask Lucy to go?"
She took a deep breath, like trying to get herself under control before she said anything, like she was afraid to say something she would regret. "No..." Her voice wavered, like she was about to cry.
"Honey," I squeezed her hands to let her know I was on her side, no matter what, and I would ask Lucy to leave if that's what Victoria wanted. "Whatever it is, you know you can tell me and we'll deal with it. Together."
She took another deep, wavering breath. "I'm just tired, Simon. I think I might be getting sick or something. Are you ready to turn out the light yet?"
I went to turn off the light at the switch across the room.
I couldn't shake the feeling that something really big was bothering her, and I felt a pain in my soul because she wouldn't tell me what. She didn't trust me enough to tell me. Lucy was really the only thing that made sense. Maybe Victoria just didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me she wanted my sister to leave. But I gave her the chance to tell me, and she insisted she's just tired.
Victoria and I have always told each other everything. I don't like feeling this way. I don't understand what she thinks she can't tell me.
I crawled back into the bed to find her back turned to me. I curled up next to her and pulled her to me. She felt cold, not warm or feverish as she would if she was getting sick.
I think I had just started to drift off when I felt her slip away from me and out of the bed. I thought she was just going to the bathroom, and I imagined her curled up in there against the wall crying because of whatever she is going through that she can't share with me. I would find her there and she would confess to me, tell me everything. And we would deal with it, figure out what to do about it, together.
She didn't go around the bed to the bathroom. She headed out the main door into the hallway. I waited a moment, then got up to follow her. I found her in Bella's room, standing next to the crib. Autumn, Caroline, and Rory Anne slept on the floor because the two boys were in Autumn's room for the night.
It took a moment to realize Victoria held the top bar of Bella's crib so tightly it made her hands shake. I went to her, put my arms around her from behind. She jumped and made a startled sound. Lucy's littlest, Rory Anne, whimpered in her sleep. I glanced at the girls, but Victoria was my concern, and I took her head against my shoulder and instinctively rubbed her back.
She resisted, pushed againstme like she wanted to get away,. "Shhh. Baby. Shhh. It's me," I told her and after a few seconds she sagged against my shoulder and put her arms around my waist.
I led her from the room so we wouldn't disturb the children. I took her back to our bedroom and sat her on the edge of our bed. "What is it, Tory? What happened today?"
She cringed at the name, Tory. I only use it when I'm emotional.
"I can't tell you," she whispered and I had to strain to hear the words.
"Why?" I asked her, because I couldn't imagine anything so horrible that she couldn't tell me. I didn't like knowing she felt she couldn't tell me. "If it's Lucy..."
She shook her head. "It's not. It's not Lucy, Simon.:
"Then what? You can tell me anything, Tory. You know that." I wanted to kick something. Not Victoria. Just something. Anything to ease this frustration.
She turned her face from me and sighed. Again. "Not this. I can't tell you this. Please don't ask me to."
I knelt in front of her, looking up at her profile. I took both her hands in mine and held them there. "Something has got you al tied in knots and I'm not supposed to ask what it is? Tory, baby, you know I won't rest until I know what it is. I hate seeing you this way. I hate that I feel so helpless and I don't know what to do to help you because I don't even know what is wrong."
She started crying which only made me feel more helpless. I rubbed the back of her hand hoping that would comfort her somehow.
"I'm sorry," she said but the words dissolved into tears. After a moment she took several beep breaths to get the tears under control. Then she looked at me with a hard, determined look. "I just want to go to bed, Simon."
I nodded, even though I felt more hurt now than before. I knew something was bothering her, upsetting her. She is my wife, and I can't stand knowing she is upset and there's nothing I can do to help her. But I can't help her because she won't tell me what's wrong.
She crawled in under the covers. "He was here."
"Who?" I asked, my voice small. The hairs on my arms stood up on end.
"Kevin. Lucy's Kevin."
My heart skipped a beat. I know it did. I swallowed hard and clenched my fists. "Kevin? Kevin was here?" I wanted to kill the bastard as soon as I heard his name. How dare he come here and threaten my wife. And I knew he threatened her, and it all made sense now. He must have told her he would hurt her if she said a word to anyone about his little visit. "Oh Honey, what did he do? Did he hurt you?"
I tried to pull Victoria into my arms, but she turned away from me as soon as she was on her feet.
"He was asking me questions. About Lucy and the kids. And he said...he said if I told anyone he'd kill the girls. Autumn and Bella. That he could make it look like an accident and no one would believe me over him anyway."
"Did he touch you? Did he hurt you, Tory?" I remembered Autumn telling me about the man who upset Mommy. Victoria told me it was the meter reader, and he scared her because she didn't know he was there.
She just stared at me, her eyes blank like she was in shock.
"Did he touch the girls, Tory?"
"No, he didn't hurt her. He...He put his hand on her head and talked about how soft it was, how the skull is unformed," Panic raced through me at the through of Kevin holding my baby. Little Bella. Too little to understand what danger she was in, too little to fight back. "And he squeezed like he was going to crush it, and she started crying. he took her from me, Simon. I'm sorry! I didn't mean for him to...
I could see the pain and the terror in her features and I wanted to hold her and comfort her, stroke her hair and tell her everything will be okay, but the truth was that I didn't know. I didn't know what Kevin might be capable of.
"Don't. Tory, it's not your fault. He didn't hurt her. Remember that. He didn't hurt her."
She was looking at me, but not looking at me. Looking through me. Seeing Kevin again. Seeing Kevin holding her baby. "No, but he will. He said if I told you...if I told anyone..."
"Of course he said that. He's sick, Tory. He's been abusing Lucy for years. She left him. And he lost his punching bag." I really did not like thinking about my sister that way, but that's what she would have been to him. To Kevin. And dear God, I realized I had played with into his hands by bringing her here.
Victoria looked shell shocked. That was the only word I knew to describe her. Like a war veteran. "He said he'll kill her too. He knows she's coming here. He's probably watching the house right now." Her voice was flat, monotoned.
I shook my head. "No, baby. He can't get in. The alarm will go off and the police would come."
She stared straight ahead. "He's going to do it. He'll find some way to get in here. He probably has it all planned out."
"Honey, listen to me. He wants Lucy. Not you, and not Bella. He used Bella to get to you, but you didn't know anything about Lucy. Even if he knows she's here now, he would have done something when we all went to bed, and that was hours ago. He's probably going to wait to try to get Lucy alone."
"You don't know that." She stated with a tone that seemed to accuse me of something. She jerked her attention back to the window, as if looking for him. "I can feel him watching this house, Simon. We don't know what he's going to do. It could be anything...anything"
I know my sister would never do anything to endanger me or my family, and I hoped she knew if it came down to her or my wife and kids, I would choose Victoria and the girls in a heartbeat.
"Okay.It's okay. He hasn't done anything yet, Tory. I don't think he's going to do anything tonight. He wants Lucy. Not us."
"Simon, I want the girls in here. With us."
I nodded. "Of course." I shivered and rubbed my arms. Of course I wanted my babies close to me, after what Victoria had just told me.
We went to the bedroom together. I picked Autumn up off the floor and held her in my arms while Victoria changed Bella's diaper. We carried the girls back to our room and settled on the bed. Victoria fed Bella from her breast and I settled back against the pillows trying to keep myself calm despite the uneasy feeling ballooning in the pit of my stomache.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End chapter 7. Please R/R and let me (and Jordan) know what you think. Jordan created Victoria for my fic, If These Walls Could Talk, and we decided to use her int his fic and Angel Boy as well. Chances are Victoria will show up in Simon's Choice too. She is the same character the way Simon is the same character. Recurring, I guess. None of my stories are connected to the others. Victoria is her own independent character. And I hope that makes sense! Anyway, I appreciate your time when you read my fics and I want you to let me know what you think. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
