Part Four
"Won't you stay for dinner, Sam?" The invitation caught him completely off-guard. It had been three days since that night when Sam had seen…well, never mind what he had seen.
"Well Mr. Frodo, I'm not sure, I – I think that - "
"Please?" Frodo looked at him imploringly. 'Oh, how can I refuse when he turns those eyes on me?' Sam thought.
"I'd love to," he said hoarsely. Frodo gave him a bright smile and hurried back into the kitchen.
About an hour later, Sam was seated at the oak table in the kitchen opposite Frodo and next to Mr. Pippin, staring into his stew. He half wished that he had not accepted the offer of dinner, the evening had been so unbearable. Even as he thought this, he caught sight of Frodo and Merry's hands briefly touching as Frodo passed his cousin the jug of water. They looked up at each other and smiled a secret smile, between just the two of them. It was a smile that whispered things, promises of love and of things to come.
Sam felt sick.
Looking over, he could see Pippin frowning and pushing his food around his plate, and not eating a bite, which was highly unusual. Keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the table in front of him, the young Hobbit almost inaudibly excused himself from the table, and trudged away.
Merry frowned, puzzled, and looked over at Frodo, who shrugged. Suddenly, Sam knew he could no longer take it either. "Begging your pardon, Mr. Frodo, but I think I ought to be leaving now as well."
"But Sam, you've only just started your st - "
"Thank you for a lovely dinner, sir. I'll see you in the morning."
"Sam, are you al-" Frodo was cut off as Merry put a restraining hand on his arm. Sam pushed his chair back and left.
Out in the garden, he released a breath he did not know he had been holding. Overhead clouds were gathering in the sky, threatening rain. Though he did not feel like returning home, Sam set off in that direction anyway, if only to give himself time. 'Time for what? So I can think about the way Mr. Frodo looked at Merry? So I can wonder what might have happened if only…'
Then Sam caught sight of Pippin. He was sat on one of the benches in the garden of Bag End. Mr. Bilbo had always loved sitting on those benches, Sam remembered, a little wistfully. He had called that particular one his 'Thinking Seat', where he would retreat if he had a problem he needed to sort out.
Now Pippin was there, looking vacantly at the quickly darkening landscape. Sam approached him. "Are you alright, Mr. Pippin?"
Pippin looked up, a little surprised, and gave a laugh very unlike his own; it was harsh and bitter. "I'm as well as I have ever been, Sam. And you?"
"Oh, I don't know, sir," Sam said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I feel a little blurred at the moment, to be honest. Can't seem to sort myself out.
"I know how you feel," Pippin replied quietly. Sam took a chance, and sat himself next to Pippin. There was a pause.
"I love him, you know," Pippin said suddenly. "More than as a cousin, I mean. I love everything about him. I love the way his golden curls catch the sunlight. I love his laugh…it's infectious you know Sam." A melancholy smile flitted across Pippin's features. "When Merry laughs, it's like the whole of Middle Earth laughs with him, if only to share in his happiness."
Sam sat very still, unsure of how to respond to Pippin's brave statement. "I didn't know you felt that way about Mr. Merry," he said slowly.
Pippin looked him straight in the eye. "You saw them that night, didn't you? You saw how close they were?"
Sam nodded. "That's what I want," Pippin continued. "I – I wish-" he choked, closing his eyes in a grimace. A silence washed over them, and they both seemed to relax, as though some sort of silent understanding had passed between them. After a while, Pippin opened his green eyes, and without tearing his gaze away from the rolling hills of The Shire, he said something that would turn Sam's world around once more. "Frodo loves you, you know."
Reeling, Sam attempted to stammer some sort of objection, but Pippin interrupted him. "His eyes light up when he talks about you, in a way I've never seen before," he described. "And if anyone mentions your name, he becomes instantly alert, I swear one can almost see his ears pricking up! When he looks at you Sam, you can see it. He'd do anything for you, do you know that?"
Sam said nothing. There was nothing he could say. Pippin was out of order, saying these things that were not true. But he kept quiet nonetheless.
"I may only be young, but I can see it as clear as day. And," Pippin turned to Sam, and looked him up and down, "I believe that you feel just the same about him."
