WARNING: This fic deals with domestic violence. Please do not read if you think you will be upset by such issues.

Angry All The Time
Chapter 9/?
A 7Th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star

*~Lucy~*

I struggled to see over Simon's shoulder, and out the door. I couldn't see Kevin, but I knew he was there. In the woods, watching me, watching the house. I knew he was there, even before Simon told me about yesterday and how he approached Victoria and threatened Bella.

I should have known better than to come here. I had put everyone in danger. Not just me and my kids, but my brother and his family too. Kevin would try to make Simon pay for helping me, just as he would make me pay for leaving.

"Just let me talk to him, Simon," I suggested, even though the thought made me tremble from the inside out. "He knows I'm here..."

"No way!" Simon roared, sounding like an over protective father. "He won't want to 'just talk' Lucy."

"I know, but if I talk to him..."

Simon looked over his shoulder and his eyes seemed to bore holes right into my skin. "No. Lucy."

I knew he only meant to protect me, and keep me from harm. But I took a deep breath and tried to hold his gaze. "He's my husband, Simon."

"He's been abusing you for years, Lucy, and you didn't bring those kids all the way across the country so you could walk out the back door and face him alone. He followed you here, Lucy, and he threatened my wife and my baby, and that is only a hint of what he is capable of. He will kill you if he has a chance, Lucy."

"No, he won't. Simon, he wouldn't." Would he? Simon's words got the wheels turning in my head. I never feared him in that way. Would he really kill me? Was he capable of murder? He could hit me, kick me, beat me until I couldn't breathe. Only twice had it been so bad that I thought I would die, but never did I think he meant to kill me. He wouldn't. He couldn't.

He's a cop. Cops arrest murderers. They don't become them.

"Do you really think he came all this way just to talk and try to work things out?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. I knew what he said had the potential to be true, but I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it.

"Wouldn't you follow Victoria to the other side of the moon if that's where she went?"

"Victoria has no reason to run from me."

"But if she left, you would follow her."

"Yes, but it's different."

I just shook my head at him and walked away. I couldn't explain to him what I was feeling, or exactly why I needed to talk to Kevin, because I didn't know the words to tell myself the whys and hows of it. I just knew I had to talk to him. I felt a need to talk to him, like blood in my veins.

I felt a tingling sensation, like something flip-flopped inside me, and when I reached out to grab the counter behind me for support, I felt myself falling into a black void. I tried to scream, but there was no sound, only blackness.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There's no way to judge time like that, when you're out cold on the floor, but I knew it had to be several minutes before I felt myself lifted off the floor. I struggled to shake the fog and open my eyes, but the effort was too much. I think I moaned, because I heard Simon whisper "Shhhh, honey, it's okay. I've got you," but he sounded so far away and I couldn't talk anyway.

I felt him kiss me on the forehead, but even that felt distant. I felt like I wasn't even in my body, like I was floating outside of it, outside of reality. I knew he was putting me in the van, and I could hear Victoria behind us rounding up all the children. Of course she did not want to be left home alone with Kevin lurking in the woods.

Kevin! I surged upward, eyes open. Everything I tried to look at blurred. My heart raced with fear, and I knew I was dying. This was it. The end. Maybe Kevin really did some damage the last time he beat me, and even though he hadn't touched me for days, my body just couldn't take any more.

Someone grabbed my hand. I tried to focus, but the face was just a black shadow of nothing. "It's okay, Mom. Everything's going to be okay." Kevin Jr whispered. No, not Kevin Jr. Vincent. He wants me to call him Vincent now. I never liked the name Kevin Jr anyway. I wanted my boy to have his own identity, not the name his father ruined.

I think I smiled at him. I hoped I managed at least that.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm into the cliff hanger endings, so I'm stopping there. Tell me what you think, because I really want to know. Keep those reviews coming. I cherish each one, good or bad, but obviously the positive ones are my favorites! Thanks for reading. Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)