WARNING: This fic deals with domestic violence. Please do not read if you think you will be upset by such issues.

Angry All The Time
Chapter 9/?
A 7Th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star

*~Lucy~*

The doctor's words echoed in my head, turning around and around like a broken record, two words repeating over and over and over again. "You're pregnant, you're pregnant, you're pregnant."

No! I can't be pregnant! I don't want to be pregnant!

Please, God, let this be a mistake. A crazy, horrible, once in a lifetime kind of mistake. Don't let it be real. It can't be real. I can't be pregnant. Oh God, please. Don't make me be pregnant.

Kevin never wanted kids. Each time I got pregnant, it was my fault, not his. Never his fault. He never wanted one or two or three or four, he certainly wouldn't want five.

I don't think I can take much more.

My eyes wandered around the room. Looking for...for what? Something to end my miserable pathetic life? That's crazy. I'm not that desperate. Besides, suicide is a sin. And if I died, what would happen to my kids? Simon and Victoria might fight for them, but Kevin would win. Kevin is their father.

"Hey, Luce," Simon pushed the door open. I blinked and turned my head toward his voice and the sound of my name. I tried to smile, but tears filled my eyes and I looked down at my hands. I felt like a little kid, caught with my hand in the cookie jar. But Simon didn't know what I was doing, what I was thinking, what I was looking for.

Simon crossed the small room in three steps and reached for my hand. He squeezed it in his grip, and I imagined him crushing my fingers like Kevin had done once.

"Did he tell you? Did the doctor tell you?" My voice sounded so small.

I didn't have to look up to know he nodded. "It's okay, Luce. We'll get you through this."

"How? This changes everything. I can't, Simon. I can't do this."

"Yes, you can, Luce. You have to. Maybe think of it as a new chance, a new hope, a new beginning."

I shook my head. "I have to tell Kevin."

"Why?"

I had to close my eyes because his stare seemed to see right through me and I felt like a germ under a microscope. "Because he's the father."

"He doesn't deserve to be anyone's father."

"That doesn't change the fact he is."

Simon let go of my hand and walked over to look out the window. "I asked the nurses to keep an eye on Victoria and the kids, and to call security if he shows up. I wouldn't be surprised if he followed us here. He's stalking you, Lucy. You don't owe him anything."

"He's stalking me because I left. He just wants to talk to me. Maybe he wants to say he's sorry."

Simon sighed, deeply. I felt a tremble of fear. Not for myself, Simon would never hurt me. But he would hurt Kevin. Or try, at least. In a fair fight, the odds were stacked high against Simon.

"Men like Kevin aren't sorry, Lucy. He may be sorry you left because he lost his punching bag, but he's not sorry, and he will never be sorry for the things he's done."

"He's still my husband, and the father of my children."

Simon sat down in the chair by my bed. "Did I tell you he left bruises on Bella's head? Four little circles from his fingers."

I squared my jaw and looked up at the ceiling. Nothing he could say would affect me.

I'd already made my decision.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

End chapter 10. Another short chapter, I know. I think my muse must be out Christmas shopping. I hope she's giving me the gift of her time, guidance, and support in the new year. Until she deems me worthy of her precious attention, I will keep plugging away little by little, chapter by chapter. So please read and review so I know what you think! Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar!@aol.com)