Angry All The Time
Chapter 11/?
A 7th Heaven fan fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 11: Seeing Mom
*~Vincent~*
Uncle Simon came out of Mom's room and I knew Mom was in trouble. I could just tell from the look on his face. He looked just like Mom, the same look she got when she was worried or upset.
"I need to call my parents, see if they're home yet," he announced and headed for the courtesy phone in the corner.
"Can I see my mom?"
"Of course you can, Vincent. I'll take you after I call your grandparents."
I shook my head. "I don't want you to take me, Uncle Simon. I want to go by myself."
"Of course you do. But I think you should wait."
"I'm not a little kid. Just tell me where she is." My voice seemed to get a little louder with every word. I took a deep breath to keep the anger I felt under control. Why did I feel anger? I didn't think I was mad at Uncle Simon. "I just need to see my mom, that's all. I need to know, to see for myself, that she is all right."
Uncle Simon put the phone down and turned to me. He looked at me like he did when he first saw me, like he didn't know me. I tried to stand up a little straighter, to look a little older or more mature or something, whatever it would take to make him let me see my mom.
His eyes seemed to search my face, and I had the feeling he wanted to tell me something, but then maybe thought my mom should be the one to tell me. "She's in 217. Go around the corner, through the double doors, and to your right. It's the second room on the left."
"Thank you." I held his stare for a moment longer, and he patted my shoulder before I turned to go.
A nurse was with her, checking her vitals or something, so I waited outside the door until the woman left. Mom's eyes were closed when I went in, so I coughed softly to let her know I was there.
"Simon..." She turned her face toward me, and her eyes went wide with shock when she saw me, instead of her brother.
I tried to smile, but I didn't feel much like smiling to see her like this. She seemed pale, and I knew it wasn't all from the florescent lights above her bed. I moved close to her and reached for her hand.
She curled her fingers in resistance. "Go. I don't want you here."
"Don't say that, Mom."
Her eyes searched my face as Uncle Simon's had only moment ago. I could see the wheels in her head turning, trying to decide what to say. "I said it. Now go. I don't want you to see me like this."
I knew she didn't mean it to hurt me, but it did hurt to hear her talk that way, and say those things to me.
I had found her many times after her husband had beat her, and never once had she told me to go away. Several times she had tried to shoo me out of the room with a wave of her hand or insistence that she was all right, but never once had she said the words out loud.
I didn't know quite how to react to her now. 'I don't want you here,' she said. 'I don't want you to see me like this.' I didn't want to see her like this either, but what choice did I have?
"What's wrong with you, Mom? What did the doctor say?" I tried again to take her hand, but she refused to uncurl her fingers. She just stared up at the ceiling, no longer even looking at me. "Mom?"
"I told you to get out, Kevin. Just get out."
"I'm not Kevin, Mom."
"I don't care. Just get out before I call the nurse to make you go." Her voice cracked. I could tell she was about to cry. She wanted to cry. Back home I would hold her sometimes when she cried. Only for a few minutes, then she would sniffle and dry her eyes and assure me everything was all right and I should go play or something.
"Mom..."
She turned over on her side, her back to me. I slowly backed out of the room, then stood outside the door with silent tears streaming down my face. I let the tears flow for a minute, until a nurse came out of a room down the hall. I didn't want her, or anyone, to see me crying. I took a couple deep breaths and dried my eyes with the bottom of my shirt.
I stopped at the bathroom before going back to the waiting room. I looked terrible, but maybe Uncle Simon would just think it was because I'm upset about Mom. That really is the truth anyway.
I hoped I wouldn't have to tell him what Mom said to me. I shouldn't have to tell him anything.
He had his arms around Aunt Victoria. Caroline sat pouting in a corner. Brian held baby Bella in his lap and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Rory Anne and Autumn looked like they were having an imaginary tea party on the floor.
I don't know if Aunt Victoria nudged him or what, but Uncle Simon turned his head to look over his shoulder and saw me. He started to smile, which made me want to cry again, so I looked down at my feet and picked at the dirt under my finger nails.
"She's going to be fine, Vincent," Uncle Simon moved toward me.
I nodded and took a deep breath to keep from crying. Maybe I should have told him what she said to me, but I couldn't. I wanted to pretend she never said it, and maybe she didn't mean it anyway. She couldn't mean it. I'm her son. She couldn't mean to push me away.
Uncle Simon guided me to a chair and helped me sit in it. I covered my face with my hands. Uncle Simon patted the back of my neck with one hand, my knee with the other.
"What's wrong with her, Uncle Simon?"
"She's in a rough place right now, Vincent. She just needs a little time to deal with everything." Uncle Simon pulled me in his arms and I fell against him, my arms around his neck, my face pressed to his shoulder. I started crying because I couldn't fight it anymore.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End chapter 11. I hope you liked this little peek into Vincent's mind. The poor kid. Anyway, please read and review, let me know what you think and as always, thank you for reading! You guys are the best! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
Chapter 11/?
A 7th Heaven fan fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 11: Seeing Mom
*~Vincent~*
Uncle Simon came out of Mom's room and I knew Mom was in trouble. I could just tell from the look on his face. He looked just like Mom, the same look she got when she was worried or upset.
"I need to call my parents, see if they're home yet," he announced and headed for the courtesy phone in the corner.
"Can I see my mom?"
"Of course you can, Vincent. I'll take you after I call your grandparents."
I shook my head. "I don't want you to take me, Uncle Simon. I want to go by myself."
"Of course you do. But I think you should wait."
"I'm not a little kid. Just tell me where she is." My voice seemed to get a little louder with every word. I took a deep breath to keep the anger I felt under control. Why did I feel anger? I didn't think I was mad at Uncle Simon. "I just need to see my mom, that's all. I need to know, to see for myself, that she is all right."
Uncle Simon put the phone down and turned to me. He looked at me like he did when he first saw me, like he didn't know me. I tried to stand up a little straighter, to look a little older or more mature or something, whatever it would take to make him let me see my mom.
His eyes seemed to search my face, and I had the feeling he wanted to tell me something, but then maybe thought my mom should be the one to tell me. "She's in 217. Go around the corner, through the double doors, and to your right. It's the second room on the left."
"Thank you." I held his stare for a moment longer, and he patted my shoulder before I turned to go.
A nurse was with her, checking her vitals or something, so I waited outside the door until the woman left. Mom's eyes were closed when I went in, so I coughed softly to let her know I was there.
"Simon..." She turned her face toward me, and her eyes went wide with shock when she saw me, instead of her brother.
I tried to smile, but I didn't feel much like smiling to see her like this. She seemed pale, and I knew it wasn't all from the florescent lights above her bed. I moved close to her and reached for her hand.
She curled her fingers in resistance. "Go. I don't want you here."
"Don't say that, Mom."
Her eyes searched my face as Uncle Simon's had only moment ago. I could see the wheels in her head turning, trying to decide what to say. "I said it. Now go. I don't want you to see me like this."
I knew she didn't mean it to hurt me, but it did hurt to hear her talk that way, and say those things to me.
I had found her many times after her husband had beat her, and never once had she told me to go away. Several times she had tried to shoo me out of the room with a wave of her hand or insistence that she was all right, but never once had she said the words out loud.
I didn't know quite how to react to her now. 'I don't want you here,' she said. 'I don't want you to see me like this.' I didn't want to see her like this either, but what choice did I have?
"What's wrong with you, Mom? What did the doctor say?" I tried again to take her hand, but she refused to uncurl her fingers. She just stared up at the ceiling, no longer even looking at me. "Mom?"
"I told you to get out, Kevin. Just get out."
"I'm not Kevin, Mom."
"I don't care. Just get out before I call the nurse to make you go." Her voice cracked. I could tell she was about to cry. She wanted to cry. Back home I would hold her sometimes when she cried. Only for a few minutes, then she would sniffle and dry her eyes and assure me everything was all right and I should go play or something.
"Mom..."
She turned over on her side, her back to me. I slowly backed out of the room, then stood outside the door with silent tears streaming down my face. I let the tears flow for a minute, until a nurse came out of a room down the hall. I didn't want her, or anyone, to see me crying. I took a couple deep breaths and dried my eyes with the bottom of my shirt.
I stopped at the bathroom before going back to the waiting room. I looked terrible, but maybe Uncle Simon would just think it was because I'm upset about Mom. That really is the truth anyway.
I hoped I wouldn't have to tell him what Mom said to me. I shouldn't have to tell him anything.
He had his arms around Aunt Victoria. Caroline sat pouting in a corner. Brian held baby Bella in his lap and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Rory Anne and Autumn looked like they were having an imaginary tea party on the floor.
I don't know if Aunt Victoria nudged him or what, but Uncle Simon turned his head to look over his shoulder and saw me. He started to smile, which made me want to cry again, so I looked down at my feet and picked at the dirt under my finger nails.
"She's going to be fine, Vincent," Uncle Simon moved toward me.
I nodded and took a deep breath to keep from crying. Maybe I should have told him what she said to me, but I couldn't. I wanted to pretend she never said it, and maybe she didn't mean it anyway. She couldn't mean it. I'm her son. She couldn't mean to push me away.
Uncle Simon guided me to a chair and helped me sit in it. I covered my face with my hands. Uncle Simon patted the back of my neck with one hand, my knee with the other.
"What's wrong with her, Uncle Simon?"
"She's in a rough place right now, Vincent. She just needs a little time to deal with everything." Uncle Simon pulled me in his arms and I fell against him, my arms around his neck, my face pressed to his shoulder. I started crying because I couldn't fight it anymore.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End chapter 11. I hope you liked this little peek into Vincent's mind. The poor kid. Anyway, please read and review, let me know what you think and as always, thank you for reading! You guys are the best! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
