Angry All The Time
Chapter 11/?
A 7th Heaven fan fic by Lucky Star

Chapter 11: Second Chances

*~Lucy~*

I sensed them coming before they came in. I just knew they were coming, and there they were. My parents. Great.

"Oh, honey," Mom cooed and threw her purse down in the chair on her way to my bedside. She took my hand in hers and knelt down to kiss my cheek.

Dad walked around to the other side of the bed, took my other hand and kissed my other cheek.

I grit my teeth and let them. I knew they needed it. They needed to reassure themselves I was all right. I would let them believe that, even though I was anything but all right.

"How are you feeling, baby?" Mom asked.

"Tired." Maybe I could get them to leave sooner if I played my cards right.

It wasn't that I didn't want to see them. I just didn't want to get all emotional about it or anything. I didn't want them to make me feel safe, or obligated to stay with them.

I couldn't stay with them. Kevin was waiting.

"How was your trip?" I asked to be polite. I didn't really care to hear the details just now. I wanted them to leave so I could be alone with my thoughts.

"Wonderful," Mom answered. "You can see the pictures when you get home."

Home. Home is in New York, I wanted to tell her. Home is with Kevin. But I didn't say it. Simon had probably filled her in on all the details.

How embarrassing to think your parents knew stuff like that about you. I didn't want my parents knowing how weak and pathetic I am.

I yawned for effect. :I'm really tired, Mom. Maybe you guys could come back tomorrow."

Dad squeezed my hand, bent down to kiss my cheek again. "You take care of yourself, sweetheart."

"I will. Good night, Dad."

Mom did the same, hand squeeze and kiss routine. "Victoria and the kids are going home with us. Simon will be here all night, so you just let the nurses know if you need anything."

"Okay. Good night, Mom. I love you."

"We love you too, honey."

Dad reached for Mom's hand as he came around the bed. He grabbed her purse and they left. And I started crying once they were gone. I couldn't help it. I felt so alone. So alone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Now I know why they don't keep clocks in hospital rooms. It must be a form of torture, denying a person the right to know what time it is. Could be midnight or three a.m. or even five o'clock. There's no way to tell. Beyond the window, the sky is pitch black, the hallway is deathly quiet outside my door. Every few minutes a pair of feet would pass by, a vague thump that barely disturbed the silence.

I felt like a prisoner. I think that's what they wanted. That's what Kevin would want. Maybe they are working with Kevin. Keeping me prisoner here until he can sneak in past Simon. I never should have come home. I should have taken the kids and run somewhere Kevin would never think to look for me.

To late for thoughts like that now.

Kevin is my husband. He's my husband and the father of my children. I shouldn't have run from him at all. I love him, and he...he loves me. He never meant to hurt me. And he really only hurt me a few times. He was always so sorry. So very sorry. And he swore time and time again it would never happen...but it always did. It always happened again.

I had two choices now, because running was no longer an option. I could either find some way to end it all, or I could go crawling back to Kevin. That's what he would want. And that is what I would do.

Just go home to him. Maybe I could leave the children with Simon. Start over, start fresh. Just me and Kevin and the baby inside me. Everyone gets a second chance, right? This baby would be mine. Mine and Kevin's. That's all we need.

Convincing Simon would be the hard part. But if I could sneak away...instead of Kevin sneaking in to see me, I could sneak away to see him...He would like that. He would definitely like that.

Kevin always liked when I took the initiative to do something. Especially something he wanted me to do and I know he would want me to come home.

He never wanted the kids, so they would be better off with Simon. Vincent will look after the others. And if Kevin refused to accept the new baby I would just have to give it up.

I think everything would be fine between us if we could just start over.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There's the end of chapter 12. I had a little trouble with it, so hopefully it reads smoothly. Please let me know what you think. The reviews mwa so much to me. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)