Angry All The Time
Chapter 13/?
A 7th Heaven fan fic by Lucky Star

Chapter 13:

*~Lucy~*

Morning came, and with it a new shift of nurses. I wouldn't miss the ones from the night shift, they were harsh and unfriendly. Not that I wanted to make friends with them. But a smile and a 'hello' would have been nice when they came with needles to poke me and thermometers thrust to under my tongue.

"My name's Mary," an overweight black woman said. I rolled my eyes. Mary. Great. I would get a nurse with the same name as my sister. I almost laughed, wondering if God was trying to tell me something. Why couldn't this woman have a name like Carol or Julie or even Marie instead of Mary?

Mary raised an eyebrow at my silence. "And how are we feeling this morning?" She moved toward the machines monitoring my heart beat and blood pressure. I looked up at the glowing red number that meant nothing to me and shrugged. I never understood that, why people ask 'How are WE' when they mean 'How are YOU'.

"I see, cat's got your tongue. That's all right. I'm used to talking to myself." Mary smiled again, a flash of pearly white teeth. I sighed and rolled my eyes again.

I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't have anything to say. She already knew my name, and she knew how I was, probably better than I knew. Forced to answer, I would have to say I was tired and weary and ready to see my husband.

Kevin. Wherever he was, he was probably ready to blow his lid. I could imagine him pacing. Pacing back and forth, back and forth, looking wild eyed and ready to attack, like a caged tiger waiting for dinner at the zoo

"Everything looks good. The doctor will be in to see you in a bit. He'll probably send you home today." There was that word again. Home. I wanted to tell Nurse Mary home is in New York, home is with my husband, but I bit my tongue. Mary didn't need to hear my troubles. She patted my leg, flashed her smile, then left.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose. Simon would be in within five minutes, I figured. As soon as the nurse gave him the okay. I turned my back to the door and tried to pretend I was sleeping.

"Mornin', Luce," he came in several minutes later. "I know you're not asleep." I resisted the urge to scratch my arm where an itch suddenly presented itself. Simon sighed and sat down on the stool the doctor used when he came in the room. "Stop faking."

"Why? I have nothing to say to you."

"I know what you're doing."

"Do you?" I turned to face him despite myself. "And what am I doing?"

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on my bed. "You think if you go back to Kevin now you can start over. Just you and him. I guess you're planning to leave the kids with me. You know I'll take care of them, and I would. But how could you even think about leaving them? You're their mother, Lucy. The one person they should always be able to count on since their father is such a jerk. I don't know why, but you think you have to go back to Kevin. You think if you go back to him, just you and him and the new baby, everything will be okay. Like a second chance. Don't you see, if you go back to him now, you will never get away. He will abuse you far worse now than he ever did, because he will make you pay for leaving in the first place."

"He's my husband." I said simply. A weak defense, but the only one I had. "I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"I do understand, Lucy. More than you realize."

I shook my head at him. "You don't. You can't understand. You have a wonderful marriage. I bet you and Victoria never fight, and if you do it's not full blown. You're not like Kevin."

"No. I'm not like Kevin. I don't abuse women or terrorize young children."

"He never hurt the children!"

Simon raised his eyebrows. "Oh really? Maybe he never hit them, but they saw what he did to you, Lucy. Vincent told me..."

"Vincent doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Then why did you leave?"

I glared at him, and wished he would disappear. "I want you to leave."

"Because you know I'm right."

Tears built up behind my eyes and I looked up to the ceiling, blinking to try to deny them release. They came anyway, and Simon was there, taking me to his shoulder, comforting me with gentle caresses and soft words.

Damn him. He was right. In my heart of hearts I knew he was right. Every word he said was true.

I couldn't go back to Kevin. He would probably kill me, or make me wish I was dead, within a week. And I could never walk away from my children. I would be no better than Kevin if I abandoned them.

"Shhh, Luce. We'll get you through this," Simon whispered. And I prayed he was right.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

End chapter 13. Don't you just feel Lucy's pain? She's going to have to see Kevin face to face sooner or later...Maybe the next chapter, because I'm sure a lot of you are just waiting for that encounter. But, how do you like it so far? Don't be shy. I really want to know what you're thinking. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)