Angry All The Time
Chapter 14/?
A 7th Heaven fan fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 14:
*~Simon~*
I picked up and replaced the phone several times. Finally I just had to do it. I picked up he receiver and dialed the number. Ruthie would be upset with me because I didn't call her sooner. She would just have to understand I really hadn't had time until now.
"Hello?" she answered with her usually perky voice and kids screaming in the back ground. I glanced at the clock. I should have waited until twelve-thirty, when the kids in her day care would be down for their afternoon nap.
"Ruthie, it's Simon."
"You don't have to identify yourself every time you call. But why are you calling this time of day? Is everything okay? Shouldn't you be at work?"
"I took the day off."
Ruthie took a deep breath and seemed to hold it for a couple seconds. "Why do I have the feeling this isn't a social call?"
"Because it isn't."
One of the kids screamed, and I could tell Ruthie walked away because the sound grew distant. "Simon, what's wrong?" The background noise sounded miles away now.
"It's Lucy."
"Lucy? Our Lucy?"
"She's here. She left Kevin." Complete silence from Ruthie's end unnerved me. "Ruthie?"
"I'm here. I just...wow. I never thought she would do it."
"I just brought her home from the hospital. She's okay, it's nothing serious. But she's been here a couple days and she passed out a couple times, so I took her to the doctor."
"She's pregnant, isn't she?"
I nodded, forgetting for a moment that Ruthie couldn't see me. "Yeah. I'm really worried about her, Ruthie. Mentally more than anything else. She's in a really bad place right now."
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
"I know. I guess that's why I didn't call you sooner."
"We'll talk about that later."
"I'm sure we will." I sighed and pushed a hand through my hair. I felt old and weary all of a sudden.
"I'll see you soon. Take care of Lucy until I get there."
"You know I will." We hung up and I just sat there staring at the phone for a long time. If anyone knew what Lucy was going through it would be Ruthie.
Ruthie ran a private day care out of her basement, which allowed her to stay home with her daughter while her husband worked. Connor wasn't Ariel's real father, but he loved the little girl as if he was.
Ruthie's first marriage ended less than a year after it started. Steven just wasn't the type to settle down with one woman. Ruthie caught him cheating on her with two other women at the same time. She kicked him out of the house and filed for divorce. He stalked her for months before the police arrested him on an unrelated charge.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I almost didn't tell Lucy that Ruthie was coming over, but I decided that would be cruel. Lucy had enough shocks and surprises in her life, she didn't need another one.
I knocked on the bedroom door then pushed it open. "Hey. How are you feeling?"
She didn't smile, and her eyes looked dull to me. "I'm just great, Simon, and how are you?"
The doctor had warned me she would probably have severe mood swings. I just nodded and sat down at the foot of the bed. "I called Ruthie. She's coming over as soon as she can get away from work."
"I don't want to see her. I don't want to see anyone."
"I know, but you need your family right now."
She locked her jaw and looked up at the ceiling. I thought of her in her youth, when she and Kevin were dating, how easily she got aggravated or annoyed. She used to do the same thing, square off her jaw, a sure sign she was peeved about something.
"We're all here for you. You know Matt and Mary would be here in a heart beat..."
"Don't you dare call them."
"I won't. I can't guarantee Mom won't, but I won't."
"And while you're at it, call Ruthie back and tell her not to come. I don't want her to see me like this."
"Like what?"
"This."
"That's not a good enough answer and you know it."
Silent tears slipped down her cheeks. I felt bad making her cry, but I wasn't about to let her off the hook. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking and feeling, and if I had to make her cry to find out then it was worth it. I couldn't help her, really, unless I knew what I was up against.
"I'm miserable and pathetic. I'm a horrible, ugly failure."
Kevin's words, no doubt. Damn him. If I ever have the unfortunate experience of seeing him face to face again, I'll make him wish he never met my sister.
"No, Lucy. You're not."
"I am." She looked at me, her eyes completely void of emotion, betrayed only by the steady stream of tears. "I was supposed to be a minister, and I was supposed to be smart and beautiful and...and now look at me. I'm not a minister. I'm not a anything."
"You're still my sister and Ruthie's sister."
She shook her head, splattering tears like rain. "I'm nothing," she whispered, and the way she looked at me I knew she meant it. She believed it was true.
I wanted to smack her and jolt her back to reality, make her stop thinking and saying things like that. More likely I would only succeed in making her stop saying them, but she would only believe it more. Kevin brainwashed her for years, and chances were it would take years to erase the damage he had done.
"Lucy..."
"Don't, Simon. Please just don't, okay? I didn't come here so you could pity me."
"I don't pity you."
"Yes, you do. You may not know it but you do. Poor stupid Lucy. I got what I deserved, right? I let him do it. I let him hit me and control me. I only got what I deserved. I'm weak, Simon. I've always been weak and stupid and worthless. I need him to hit me, to keep me in line. He's the only one who knows how to take care of me. I'm so lucky he loves me enough to take care of me."
A renewed current of aner toward Kevin surged through me. I realized my hands were curled in fists, and I slowly flexed them open. "No, Lucy. Lucy, what he does to you, that isn't love. It's power. He wants to control you. He needs to make you feel worthless and weak to make him feel strong and important."
Lucy shook her head and turned her face to the window. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Simon."
"I'm trying to understand it, Lucy."
She sat up, leaned over with her hands over her face. I moved closer to her and reached out to touch her back. She started, then fell against my shoulder, crying into my neck.
The doctor had told me to expect this kind of behavior. She would go from one extreme to the next in a matter of seconds. The important thing for me was to stay focused on the positive and not let her justify what Kevin had done to her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End chapter 14. Still no Kevin. But he will make his appearance soon. Possibly in the next chapter. You'll just have to keep reading and find out, won't you? *Evil laugh* In the meantime, please review this chapter ad let me know what you think! Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
Chapter 14/?
A 7th Heaven fan fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 14:
*~Simon~*
I picked up and replaced the phone several times. Finally I just had to do it. I picked up he receiver and dialed the number. Ruthie would be upset with me because I didn't call her sooner. She would just have to understand I really hadn't had time until now.
"Hello?" she answered with her usually perky voice and kids screaming in the back ground. I glanced at the clock. I should have waited until twelve-thirty, when the kids in her day care would be down for their afternoon nap.
"Ruthie, it's Simon."
"You don't have to identify yourself every time you call. But why are you calling this time of day? Is everything okay? Shouldn't you be at work?"
"I took the day off."
Ruthie took a deep breath and seemed to hold it for a couple seconds. "Why do I have the feeling this isn't a social call?"
"Because it isn't."
One of the kids screamed, and I could tell Ruthie walked away because the sound grew distant. "Simon, what's wrong?" The background noise sounded miles away now.
"It's Lucy."
"Lucy? Our Lucy?"
"She's here. She left Kevin." Complete silence from Ruthie's end unnerved me. "Ruthie?"
"I'm here. I just...wow. I never thought she would do it."
"I just brought her home from the hospital. She's okay, it's nothing serious. But she's been here a couple days and she passed out a couple times, so I took her to the doctor."
"She's pregnant, isn't she?"
I nodded, forgetting for a moment that Ruthie couldn't see me. "Yeah. I'm really worried about her, Ruthie. Mentally more than anything else. She's in a really bad place right now."
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
"I know. I guess that's why I didn't call you sooner."
"We'll talk about that later."
"I'm sure we will." I sighed and pushed a hand through my hair. I felt old and weary all of a sudden.
"I'll see you soon. Take care of Lucy until I get there."
"You know I will." We hung up and I just sat there staring at the phone for a long time. If anyone knew what Lucy was going through it would be Ruthie.
Ruthie ran a private day care out of her basement, which allowed her to stay home with her daughter while her husband worked. Connor wasn't Ariel's real father, but he loved the little girl as if he was.
Ruthie's first marriage ended less than a year after it started. Steven just wasn't the type to settle down with one woman. Ruthie caught him cheating on her with two other women at the same time. She kicked him out of the house and filed for divorce. He stalked her for months before the police arrested him on an unrelated charge.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I almost didn't tell Lucy that Ruthie was coming over, but I decided that would be cruel. Lucy had enough shocks and surprises in her life, she didn't need another one.
I knocked on the bedroom door then pushed it open. "Hey. How are you feeling?"
She didn't smile, and her eyes looked dull to me. "I'm just great, Simon, and how are you?"
The doctor had warned me she would probably have severe mood swings. I just nodded and sat down at the foot of the bed. "I called Ruthie. She's coming over as soon as she can get away from work."
"I don't want to see her. I don't want to see anyone."
"I know, but you need your family right now."
She locked her jaw and looked up at the ceiling. I thought of her in her youth, when she and Kevin were dating, how easily she got aggravated or annoyed. She used to do the same thing, square off her jaw, a sure sign she was peeved about something.
"We're all here for you. You know Matt and Mary would be here in a heart beat..."
"Don't you dare call them."
"I won't. I can't guarantee Mom won't, but I won't."
"And while you're at it, call Ruthie back and tell her not to come. I don't want her to see me like this."
"Like what?"
"This."
"That's not a good enough answer and you know it."
Silent tears slipped down her cheeks. I felt bad making her cry, but I wasn't about to let her off the hook. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking and feeling, and if I had to make her cry to find out then it was worth it. I couldn't help her, really, unless I knew what I was up against.
"I'm miserable and pathetic. I'm a horrible, ugly failure."
Kevin's words, no doubt. Damn him. If I ever have the unfortunate experience of seeing him face to face again, I'll make him wish he never met my sister.
"No, Lucy. You're not."
"I am." She looked at me, her eyes completely void of emotion, betrayed only by the steady stream of tears. "I was supposed to be a minister, and I was supposed to be smart and beautiful and...and now look at me. I'm not a minister. I'm not a anything."
"You're still my sister and Ruthie's sister."
She shook her head, splattering tears like rain. "I'm nothing," she whispered, and the way she looked at me I knew she meant it. She believed it was true.
I wanted to smack her and jolt her back to reality, make her stop thinking and saying things like that. More likely I would only succeed in making her stop saying them, but she would only believe it more. Kevin brainwashed her for years, and chances were it would take years to erase the damage he had done.
"Lucy..."
"Don't, Simon. Please just don't, okay? I didn't come here so you could pity me."
"I don't pity you."
"Yes, you do. You may not know it but you do. Poor stupid Lucy. I got what I deserved, right? I let him do it. I let him hit me and control me. I only got what I deserved. I'm weak, Simon. I've always been weak and stupid and worthless. I need him to hit me, to keep me in line. He's the only one who knows how to take care of me. I'm so lucky he loves me enough to take care of me."
A renewed current of aner toward Kevin surged through me. I realized my hands were curled in fists, and I slowly flexed them open. "No, Lucy. Lucy, what he does to you, that isn't love. It's power. He wants to control you. He needs to make you feel worthless and weak to make him feel strong and important."
Lucy shook her head and turned her face to the window. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Simon."
"I'm trying to understand it, Lucy."
She sat up, leaned over with her hands over her face. I moved closer to her and reached out to touch her back. She started, then fell against my shoulder, crying into my neck.
The doctor had told me to expect this kind of behavior. She would go from one extreme to the next in a matter of seconds. The important thing for me was to stay focused on the positive and not let her justify what Kevin had done to her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End chapter 14. Still no Kevin. But he will make his appearance soon. Possibly in the next chapter. You'll just have to keep reading and find out, won't you? *Evil laugh* In the meantime, please review this chapter ad let me know what you think! Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
