Between Spring and Winter by Gaki
^_^; This is my first Fruits Basket fic, so umm... it probably is OOC and not really good. But I hope it's still okay. ^^;
It was hazy, as if a thick cloud of mist had placed itself before his eyes and try as he might he could not escape it. Though he could still see, he could only make out what was in front of him and not see from the corner of his eyes. Looking around, he noticed that he was in some sort of a forest. Trees were all around him, their bark color white to brown. Leaves of golden and red hues littered the ground below him. He could feel the wind brushing across his skin and the smell of autumn in the air.
"Hatori."
He looked around, confused and wondering who had called out for him. There was nothing. There was nothing but the forest and the sound of the wind.
"Hatori... come on."
There it was again. That voice. Like a whisper, but he could still hear it. Like a whisper yet it sounded as if it was spoken close to his ear.
He took a step and then another and another. Heading forward. Heading towards the voice. He wanted to know who it was. He needed to know who it was. He didn't know why exactly the urge was so strong. Yet he couldn't fight against it. He wanted to see the face that belonged to that voice.
There was laughter now. A soft teasing one that echoed all around him. All around him and he couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. It frightened him for some reason. It scared him. The sense at not being able to head in the right direction. The feeling that the leaf covered ground he was taking was the wrong one made him want to walk faster, almost rushing.
"Where are you, Hatori?"
The voice was still soft and still held the sound of laughter within it. Yet underneath it, he could hear a sudden mellowness. A sudden soft sadness that made his heart beat faster and his eyes widen.
Here! He wanted to shout out. I'm here!
Yet when he opened his mouth, he couldn't utter a word.
The wind rushed around him and the sudden strength of it caused the leaves to get up and dance around him. Blocking his view and getting into his face. Yet, he still heard the voice. Still soft. Still sad. Still there.
"Where are you, Hatori?"
It was nice to take a relaxing dip into the hot springs. Leaning back against a boulder, Hatori closed his eyes, letting the warm mist caress his skin and tickle at his nose. He could feel the gentle yet warm rays of the sun shining down on him. He could feel the cold mountain air tickling down his arms and chest, making the short hairs on his body stand up. He could feel, smell and hear everything in the silence of the relaxing family spa.
And then he remembered his dream nights ago.
Dark eyes still closed, he frowned. It had bothered him when he had woken up, his forehead beaded with sweat. It bothered him because he knew that place. He knew the trees and the leaves that littered the ground. He knew where he was and he knew how to get to that place.
He knew, because that dream had taken place in the forest around the Souma family hot springs.
It was somewhere there, the place in his dreams. It was somewhere in that thick forest. Somewhere among the changing leaves and the cool clean air; his dream place was there.
A sudden loud giggling disturbed the air around him as he opened his eyes slightly. There was no one, but he could already see Momiji laughing with the other young Soumas inside the walls of the building. He could see the young boy with a wide grin on his face and his eyes sparkling with joy.
It was strange, or at least he found it so, that there could be any joy for them.
The giggling traveled throughout the place even though he couldn't tell where it was exactly coming from. And that reminded him of his dream.
Letting out a sigh, he got up, keeping a hand on the towel around his waist as he walked out of the warm relaxing water. Drops of water trickled down his body as he walked across the cobble stone ground, picking up a robe and pulling it over himself as he turned away from the main building. He headed towards the side door that opened up to a dirt path that lead into the forest. Slipping on his slippers, Hatori left the warmth and welcoming arms of the hot springs for the clean cool and mysterious air that belonged to the forest alone.
He shivered slightly as he walked down the dirt path. His eyes glancing slowly from side to side as he took in the beautiful image that nature created for him.
It was peaceful. It was lovely. It was wonderful. To be away from all the noise. To be away from all the tension. To be away and not worry about being the person he had to be around his family members. To just be.
To just be… to be…
He didn't know what he wanted to 'Just be'.
There were so many things that he had to be. He had to be the doctor. He had to be the helper. He had to be the one to find Yuki. He had to be the one to care for Momiji. He had to…
He had to…
… Kill her memory.
He lowered his eyes as he continued to walk. Memories of her came back to him. Memories of laughter. Memories of loving voices, memories of tender touches, and memories of happiness. Happy memories that were painful. Memories that tore at him every time he opened their pages and looked through the sepia colored photos.
Just as he was about to put those images away and back into the deep dark volt that was his mind, a voice whispered quietly to him.
A voice that he had heard not too long ago. A voice that belonged to a girl who did not care about anything but loving others.
A girl who was foolish because she was caring.
"--- when the snow melts… it turns to spring."
When the snow melts it turns to spring. But… what happens in between? What happens between spring and winter? What of summer and autumn? What of days filled with nothing but heat turning into days of beautiful bright colors? What happens there? What happens after spring?
He did not have the answer and he longed to know. He wanted to know desperately. He wanted to run to the girl, to find her and demand an answer from her. To have her tell him what happens to the cold water when the spring melts it away. Where does it go? Where does the water flow to? Does it just stay in one place? Does it sink into the ground below and feed the grass with its coolness?
Or does it gather together? Does the water collect into itself and flows into a small stream and finds its way into a river? Does that river feed into a lake or to a wide ocean?
Where does the water go when the spring melts it?
He stopped, closing his eyes as he raised his head. The forest was quiet all around him, the air cool against his still moist skin. He breathed. Once. Twice. And one more time. The forest was still quiet. The animals resting as the sun slowly made its way down from the sky.
Where does the water go when the spring melts it?
She would not be able to answer that for him. She would not know… because he was the only one who could know that. He would be the only one who would be able to see where the water flows to. Only he. Only he was allowed.
And only he would know when time allowed him to know.
Opening his mouth to let out a slow breath, Hatori slowly opened his eyes again.
And widened them when he looked at his surroundings.
The same white and brown trees. The same golden and red leave covered ground. The same gentle touch of the wind. It was all the same. It was just like his dream.
His heartbeat quickened against his chest as he continued to look around. Waiting, he was waiting. Waiting for the voice he knew would come to speak up. Waiting for it to laugh softly at him and to call his name. He was waiting for it.
He was waiting so he could find it.
The wind howled. The leaves danced and fell. The air tickled his skin and laughed at him.
Still no voice.
It was foolish of him, he knew, to think that this would be like his dream. Yet it was all too familiar. It was as if he was in his dream once again. It was as if he was once again half blind and was trying to make his way through the thick trees in search of the person behind the voice. Only this time… there was no voice.
Relaxing his body, shoulders slumping just a bit from disappointment, Hatori closed his eyes.
That's when he heard it. Very softly. Very briefly. He heard it. Stilling himself, keeping his eyes from opening, Hatori stood still.
Softly, oh so softly, his name was spoken. Soft like a lover's caress.
"Hatori."
His breathing picked up. He had heard it. He had really heard it. Just like in his dream. He swallowed and slowly opened his eyes, looking around once again. The path that he had taken had somehow disappeared. Completely surrounded by the trees, Hatori turned around slowly, his eyes alert to any movement.
"Hatori!"
He wanted to speak up, to say something yet he didn't. If he spoke, the voice would leave him. If he spoke up, the person would go away and he wouldn't be able to find out who they were. Instead, he started walking, heading towards the voice. He walked, stepping over leaves and small pebbles on his way.
The walking slowly turned into a brisk walk, then he started to rush pass the trees, trying to reach the voice as quickly as possible.
"Where are you, Hatori?"
No, he wanted to shout out. Don't go! Don't leave me!
He only ran faster, trying to reach that voice before the wind would start up and block his way. To reach that person's side before he would lose the chance at being able to find out who they were.
"Where are you, Hatori?"
He stopped and stared. The voice… it sounded closer. As if it was… as if the voice was heading towards him. He stood there, staring at the gathering of trees before him, waiting for that person to appear before him. He waited and watched. He waited and held still.
He waited and hoped.
A loud sigh reached his ears as he held his breath, trying to stay calm yet excited. The sound of leaves being crushed, branches being pushed aside and the footsteps of another human being came closer, became louder.
Suddenly, a familiar white head came into the clearing, a slender body dressed in nothing but a thin yukata stepped out from the forest. Hatori blinked. He should have been disappointed. He should have felt cheated that the voice belonged to none other than his overly talkative cousin. Yet… yet he wasn't. He wasn't disappointed. Rather, he was surprised, shocked even.
The voice in his dream, the voice he had been, was chasing, had belonged to the tall and slender man before him.
The soft voice that had called his name so tenderly and so lovingly belonged to Ayame.
Ayame let out a loud sigh, still not noticing him as he dusted himself off.
"Really… where did Ha---" and then golden eyes opened and looked into his dark ones. "-TORI-SAN!! There you are!!"
He stood still as his cousin bounded over to where he was, a silly yet relieved grin on his face. He stood still and watched as Ayame floated over to where he was, arms wide open to encase him in a hug he knew he wouldn't be able to shake off and yet, he did nothing. He did nothing but standing there and watching the mass of long silk like white hair dance against the wind before falling over slender shoulders.
He didn't do anything when he felt those arms wrap themselves around him. He didn't do anything as Ayame hugged him tightly and say over and over again how worried he was when he couldn't find him. He did nothing but close his eyes and just feel.
He did nothing but close his eyes and listen.
Where does the water go when the spring melts it?
He did nothing because he was answering his own question.
"Everyone was looking for Tori-san and Gure-san commented that maybe you left early but I didn't agree with him. So I went to the last place you were and found the side door hanging open and thought perhaps you went into the forest! Really, Tori-san! You shouldn't go out into the forest alone! There could be bears here!"
Ayame pulled away, his hands on Hatori's arms as he looked up at his cousin, a disapproving look on his face."Tori-san! You should know better than to---!"
Hatori stopped Ayame from his chatter by just lifting a finger up and placing it on his lips.
Shh. The act spoke out softly. Shh. Don't speak anymore. Don't say anything anymore. Quiet now. Quiet.
And Ayame was quiet. He was quiet as he looked up at Hatori. He was quiet as Hatori slowly slipped from his grasp and brushed back his dark hair. He was quiet, eyes on Hatori alone as he waited for what the taller man had to say.
Hatori gazed down at him for awhile, then he stepped away, tucking his hands into the long sleeves of his yukata as he started to head back towards the main house. After a few short steps, he looked over his shoulder at his cousin, his eyes looking directly into curious golden ones.
"Let's go back."
Ayame answered him even before he spoke a word. He answered him by his reaction. He answered him in the way his eyes brightened. Ayame answered all of his questions with just a single blooming smile.
"They're all playing pong right now, Tori-san!" He said as he rushed to catch up with Hatori. "Why don't we play too?"
Where does the water go when the spring melts it?
Hatori glanced down at Ayame as he continued to babble on.
Nodding his head just a bit, agreeing to play with him, Hatori headed back to the main house with Ayame by his side.
Where does the water go when the spring melts it?
It does not stay still nor does it sink into the ground. It moves. It moves along the path given to it by the snow. It moves along that path until it reaches the river or until the river reaches it. Whatever comes first, the water will always find its way back home.
