The Meaning of Life
Marko walked along the street, humming "People Are Strange" by The Doors. He was on his way to his friend, Paul's house. In other words, they were going to get very drunk.
He had just turned the corner when, suddenly a flash of white light blinded him.
"Marko?" asked a booming voice from somewhere above him.
Marko looked around. This had to be one of Paul's stupid pranks. Soon Marko would see Paul's grinning face sticking out from behind a bush or something.
"Paul?" he shouted out.
"No, you imbecile, this is God! This makes a change; people usually know it's me at once and they fall to their knees and start praying…"
Marko didn't take the hint and stayed perfectly still. He was still suspicious of Paul.
"Wait, I know how to settle this!" Marko said. "I'll ask you a question that only God would know the answer to…"
"Okay then," sighed God.
Marko stroked his chin thoughtfully. Now he had presented himself with a problem. Oh wait! He knew just the thing!
"How many Valentine's cards did I get last year?" he asked, smiling shrewdly.
"Eleven," God replied.
Marko looked surprised. "Oh, it must be you then, God. I told everyone else I got seventy-two. Just to keep up appearances, of course."
"Oh yes, of course," agreed God.
"So… what do you want? Have I done something wrong? That old lady in the park yesterday, that wasn't my fault! Paul told me to-"
"It has nothing to do with old Mrs. Goodwood in the park yesterday, Marko. Although, now that I think of it, that was a rather horrible thing to do." Marko sighed. "But that's not what I want to talk to you about."
"Good!" said Marko, happily.
"I have chosen you, from millions of candidates to be the fourth contestant for… 'Ask God A Question!'"
"Er…" Marko thought. This sounded confusing and hard. "What do I have to do?"
"Well, I thought the title was pretty self-explanatory, but apparently it's not. All you have to do is pick a question you'd like to ask me, and ask it!"
Marko stroked his chin some more. "Like what?" he asked.
"Well, past questions have been: 'Why are we alive?', 'What is happiness?' and 'What is the meaning of Life?'"
"Right!" said Marko. "I'll take that one!"
"What one?"
"The meaning of life one!"
"Er, wouldn't you rather pick a new question? You know, one somebody hadn't asked before?" asked God.
"Nope," said Marko defiantly. "Too much thought involved."
"Yes…" sighed God. 'Why did I ever create this imbecile?' He asked Himself. 'I was probably in a strange mood at the time… or possibly intoxicated…'
"So, God," said Marko. "Answer me!"
"Oh, yes, of course. The meaning of life is…"
"Yes?" asked Marko eagerly.
"A banana."
"WHAT?" cried Marko. "A banana? The meaning of life is a BANANA?"
"Er, yep!" replied God.
"But… it CAN'T be!"
"Why not?" questioned God.
"Because… Because the meaning of life has to be something philosophical!"
"Who says so? I mean, I created everything! There's no reason why the meaning of life shouldn't be a banana!"
"Are you sure you're not kidding me?"
"Certain. Why would I lie about something like that?"
"Well…" said Marko. "You Gods have a strange sense of humor."
"Do we now?" asked God dubiously. 'Note to self,' He thought. 'Make his death long and painful'
"Yeah, I mean, what kind of sick-minded person would have his son crucified? It must be the way you get your kicks!"
"Of course, Marko," said God thoughtfully. There was no point trying to explain the truth to him. "But anyway, I must be getting off now. I have a very important meeting with Moses about the state of Heaven's transport service. Goodbye Marko."
"See ya!" said Marko, waving his arms around like a lunatic. But then he remembered that he couldn't see God, so he stopped waving.
The blinding light left as suddenly as it came, and Marko wiped his eyes.
"Nice guy," he said to himself. "Shame he's a bit mad," he added, right before tripping over his own foot.
The End.
