A/N:  Thanks to those who reviewed!!  I was surprised how quickly they came.  I didn't expect anyone to start reading the story so fast : )   A special thanks to Sailor Purgatory for a hugely flattering review… I had to call my husband up to read it  : )  * big hugs *

Chapter Two

Hermione let the parchment snap shut.  She didn't know what the rest of the letter contained, but she was absolutely sure that she didn't want to read it in the middle of the Great Hall.  She risked a glance in Snape's direction.  Could someone else have left it on my bag?  Maybe someone left it in the library accidentally.  No.  It specifically said her name in the greeting.  However, it could very well be from someone other than Snape, and it was just coincidence that had him leaving the library just as she got back to her table. Her eyes met the Potion Master's and he gave her a barely perceptible smile and nod. Oh my GOD!!  It -is- from him!!  Her mind began racing.  She didn't even no how to begin to process this information.  Ok.  Calm down, Hermione.  Think.

            She threw the parchment into her bag, and took off to her personal quarters. There was no reason to panic until she read the full letter.  Ron and Harry watched her flee from the room and wondered what could possibly make her abandon French toast for breakfast.  Knowing Hermione, she probably realized that she needed to study for some test that hadn't even been announced yet.

            Two other sets of eyes followed her panicked retreat from the hall.  One of them delighted with the realization that the parchment had chosen its first victim, the other musing over Hermione's rather bewildered look as she fled the dining hall.

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            Once back in the solace of her rooms, she flopped down on her bed and resolved to read the note.  She didn't realize she had been shaking until she tried to open her bag to retrieve the scroll.   Calm down, Hermione!!  Panic won't get you anywhere! She breathed deeply and attempted to get control of her motor skills.  She opened her bag and grabbed the parchment, wondering how she had had the presence of mind to re-tie the little black ribbon.  I certainly don't remember doing that, but I guess I was a little out of sorts at the time.  She untied the ribbon and unrolled the scroll for a second time.

Dearest Hermione,

I've gone over in my head a thousand times how I should express myself in this letter.  There is no easy way to say what is in my heart.  I've decided that the most reasonable solution would be to just sit and write and hope it comes out in some understandable form. At this moment, I fully intend on sending this note with no closing salutation.  I don't think I could endure you knowing what is in my heart when I know there is no hope of ever having those feelings returned.  Maybe by the time I actually have to send this I will change my mind, but I don't think I have the courage.  Some people think there is no such thing as love.  I used to be one of those people.  Nothing that had happened in my life gave credence to the existence of such emotion.  But an unbelievable thing happened to me over the last couple years.  I was faced with a person that accepted me for who I am, not who people believe me to be.  I was faced with a person that could offer me an intellectual challenge, as well a philosophical one from time to time. Once I started really paying attention, I began to enjoy picking up on all the little things that make you so special.  The more I paid attention, the more I appreciated the real you.  Then I began actually looking forward to spending time with you.  I was stunned at this realization and tried to smother the feeling that had slowly been growing throughout our time together.  I knew it was preposterous for me to believe that for even one moment you could find comfort in my presence.  But the seed had already been planted, and had begun to grow.  And today after seeing you in the Great Hall for the first time in so many weeks, I realized I was in love with you, Hermione.   Hermione.  I sometimes say your name aloud when I am alone.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I say your name.  The chill momentarily lifts from my heart and for a brief moment I believe that I have the right to be happy.  But the feeling is short lived and I soon remember why I am alone.

            As she finished the letter, she noticed that tears had started forming in her eyes.  She was confused by this but decided to rationalize it by believing they were tears of sadness for someone who could feel they don't deserve love.  Her analytical mind kicked in and she began taking portions of the text and trying to figure out if they could apply to someone other than Severus Snape.  She had spent a lot of time with various people throughout the last few years, other than Snape.  There are probably many people that feel love doesn't really exist.  Harry has every right to feel that way considering his past.  No.  Not Harry.  Of course it's not Harry.  He's like a brother to me. She had had several intellectual and philosophical debates over the years, so that was easily explained away. It was a rather well spoken letter, so that ruled out of several people.  Definitely not Ron.  He couldn't write something like this. Then guiltily thought...  Shame on you Hermione!!  She briefly considered Draco Malfoy.  They had had many philosophical discussions and he could have felt at one time that love didn't exist.  But she didn't really consistently spend time with Malfoy, so he really wasn't a possibility.

            This line of thought when on quite a while before she finally resigned herself to the fact that this letter was indeed from the one and only Severus Snape.

            She knew it must nearly be time for her first class of the day, so she quickly tried to regain her composure and headed to Transfiguration.   She tucked the scroll neatly under her pillow and rid her bag of the extra books she had been lugging around all morning.  She knew it would be difficult to concentrate while processing the information that Snape may actually have feelings for her, but she felt that she had the presence of mind to keep herself relatively focused.  She hurried down to greet her favorite teacher, Professor McGonagall, as she hadn't had a chance to speak to her since the start of term.

            "Hermione!" Professor McGonagall called warmly to her star pupil as she entered the room.  "How nice to see you again.  I hope your few short weeks of free time found you well."  She guided Hermione to her usual seat at the very front of the classroom.  "We will be working on the theory behind Animagus transformation today, but I'm sure you are already well versed in the subject", giving Hermione a knowing smile.

            "Y-yes, Professor.  I'm quite confident in my knowledge of the subject."  Hermione glanced down at her hands.  Were they still shaking?  No... she had managed to calm her nerves enough to project some measure of confidence. Professor McGonagall frowned slightly.  She knew Hermione well enough to know that she wasn't quite herself.

            "Hermione, Dear.  Is everything alright?" McGonagall asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.  Hermione blinked up at her mentor, wide eyed.  Am I that transparent? No.  She just knows me too well.  Hermione gave her professor what she hoped to be a reassuring smile.

            "I'm sorry, Professor.  I suppose I'm a little distracted because I forgot to drop some books in my rooms this morning and thought I might be late for class."  She hoped that this would be enough for her professor, but she also didn't feel very comfortable lying to someone she admired as much as Professor McGonagall.  Minerva knew that Hermione wasn't being completely truthful with her, but with students quickly filing into the classroom, she decided it was something best left to another time.

            Students began settling themselves in the classroom, leaving the two seats on either side of Hermione vacant. They were unofficially reserved for the two young wizards that completed the Gryffindor Three, as classmates had affectionately dubbed the trio.  Eventually Ron and Harry scooted into the two remaining seats, each one giving Hermione a questioning look.  Before she had a chance to try to quickly come up with an excuse for her behavior at breakfast, McGonagall cleared her throat, indicated that class had begun. Hermione silently breathed a sigh of relief.

            "Today, class, we will be covering the basic theory behind Animagus transformation."  McGonagall's words barely made it to Hermione's ears before she started drifting into her own thoughts.  Two words kept echoing through her mind.  Dearest Hermione.  Dearest Hermione. Dearest Hermione. Then onto...I realized I was in love with you, Hermione.  This particular phase intrigued her the most.  She could in some respects understand much of the letter.  Her feelings for Severus had indeed changed over the years.  From fear, to awe, to admiration... Did I just think of him as Severus?  I'm losing my mind.  I'm definitely losing my mind. But when considering a declaration of love, it was just... well... unbelievable, frankly.  She certainly never had any feelings of love toward the Potions Master.  However, when someone's life is so devoid of love and heartfelt emotion, maybe over the years you become more sensitive to your own emotions.  Maybe he just realizes that he has wasted so much time with hate, that he feels its time to open his heart to someone for once in his life.

            There -had- been times...she must admit.  Times when she was a bit flustered when their hands brushed against each other while working on a particular potion.  Times when they would be in a heated debate over one subject or another, and she would be drawn into his sheer passion for the subject matter.  His eyes.  It was his eyes that were so captivating in these discussions.  As a child she had feared those eyes.  But as a young woman, she sometimes felt that she could drown in their depths.  They weren't cold, as many believed.  They were merely guarded, most of the time.  She had the benefit of really seeing into them when he wasn't trying to hide himself from the world.  During these discussions, he would sometimes catch her staring, and she would quickly look down, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks and hoping her hair hid the telltale blush.

            If she were honest with herself, she might even say that at times she may have begun to develop somewhat of a crush on Severus Snape.  But she quickly tried to hide those feelings, even from herself.  What would Harry and Ron say if she told them she had a crush on Snape?  Harry would probably understand, after his initial reaction of disgust.  Ron...  Ron would be more difficult.  She knew that Ron had had a crush on her at one time, but they never had anything more than a deep friendship and the love that comes with such a bond. She feared that such a revelation would be a real test to their friendship.  How could she have feelings for Snape, but not Ron, so many years ago?  She realized that there was no point to this line of thinking, because she didn't love Snape, did she?  Do I?  Ugh.. Listen to me.  Of course I don't.  I'm more rational than that.  Love is something that comes through sharing an actual relationship beyond friendship for some measure of time. She and Snape had merely shared a lab.  Nothing more. 

            But she knew that it was more than that.  She had decided that this was something that she just wouldn't be able to come to terms with in the span of a single class and just as she was coming out of her reverie, she heard McGonagall announce the evening's homework, and dismiss the class.

            Ron and Harry knew better than to disturb Mione when she was in one of her 'zone out' times.  It didn't happen very often, so when it did, it was better to just leave her to her musings.  Something was obviously going on in her head that she had to sort out. It could be anything from how to solve some complicated Arithmancy problem to how to talk the house elves into accepting a salary.  They watched as she absently slid her unopened Transfiguration book into her bag, and made her way out of the classroom.  They wouldn't see her again until lunchtime. They had Divination and she had Advanced Arithmancy.  Maybe they would get a chance to get her to snap out of it a bit during lunch.

            McGonagall noticed Hermione's distraction as well.  She considered mentioning it to Professor Dumbledore, but then she dismissed the idea, realizing that the Headmaster probably already knows, somehow.  If Hermione's behavior continued, maybe she would take her aside and have a more in depth discussion with her.  For now, she would just let things run their course.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Thankfully, she had been able to get through her Advanced Arithmancy class without getting too distracted by her recent revelations.  However, as she got closer to the Great Hall to join Ron and Harry for lunch, she began to get a little nervous. Professor Snape was known for skipping lunch quite often, but there was still a chance that he would be there, and she was unsure of how to act around him. If she completely ignored him, he might take it as disinterest.  If she somehow acknowledged that she had read the letter, it would make things uncomfortable, until they could speak more privately on the matter.  She decided that Severus was a logical man and wouldn't expect her to act any different, lest she give their relationship away to her fellow classmates.  Relationship?  Since when do we have a relationship?   Two hours ago I didn't even think we had any real friendship and now I'm thinking along the lines of a relationship?   Hermione, get a grip!!  She stopped long enough to regain her composure for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, and confidently walked into the Great Hall and directly to the Gryffindor table.

            Harry and Ron were already seated and had begun eating their lunch.  Divination was a full 20 minutes shorter than Advanced Arithmancy, so even though it was much farther away from the Great Hall, they still got there before her. "Hey, 'Mione", Harry said, trying to figure out if she was still lost in thought over something.   She smiled at them, and sat down in the vacant seat on the other side of the table. She didn't realize she was doing it at the time, but she had unconsciously been trying to sit so that she would have a better view of the Head Table, particularly the section a certain Potions Master frequently occupied.  Harry watched her carefully but didn't notice anything odd, and she certainly didn't seem distracted anymore, so he decided to just let it go. 

            Ron, however, had elected to be less tactful, and blurted out, "Mione...what in Merlin's name was going on this morning to make you leave your French toast behind completely untouched?"   She had been afraid of this but fortunately she had come up with a plausible excuse on her way to Arithmancy.  She waved her hand distractedly in Ron's direction.

            "Oh, it was nothing really.  I just realized that I forgot my Transfigurations book, and didn't want to be late for Professor McGonagall's class.  It wouldn't look very good if the Head Girl showed up for class late."  She smiled at herself thinking this was surely the perfect excuse to keep Ron from questioning her further in the matter.  Ron looked up at her, not fooled in the least. 

            "Whatever you say, Mione.  Although, it seems kind of strange that you would rush to get a book that you didn't even bother to open during the entire class."  Harry knew that no good could come from this conversation, and decided now would be an opportune time to change the subject. 

            "Do you guys have any plans for the afternoon?  We don't have Care of Magical Creatures until the period just before dinner."  During 6th year, the trio had started somewhat of a tradition of spending the nicest afternoons out by the lake just relaxing. Since Hermione spent so much time in the library, and Harry and Ron spent so much time discussing Quidditch tactics, it was a good time for them to get together and just enjoy each others company. Ron quickly agreed that it was a great time to go out to the lake and as Harry turned to Hermione to see what she thought about the idea, he noticed her eyes widen and she was completely ignoring him.  He followed her gaze and ....  Snape?   Why would she have that kind of reaction to seeing Snape?

            Hermione vaguely registered Harry saying something about the lake, when a movement made her glance up just in time to see Snape walk into the room.  His hair was pulled into a ponytail and he looked....handsome.  She watched as he sat himself down at the Head Table and started serving himself lunch.  He has such precise hands.  Even something as simple as putting peas on his plate is an art form. Ugh...listen to me!!  But she didn't listen to herself.  Instead she let her eyes travel up his chest, neck, well-defined chin, lips. She rested momentarily on his lips. He has rather nice lips.  They look strong but soft.  Ack.  There I go again. She shifted her eyes still higher until she...was staring directly into his eyes.  It took a moment to register that he had caught her...well... checking him out.  She mentally covered her face with her hands.  She didn't want to look like a lunatic, so in reality she just closed her eyes, and tried to turn her attention back to whatever Harry had been trying to discuss.  "What was that about the lake, Harry?"

            Harry, still trying to figure out what Snape had to do with Hermione being so distracted, replied, "Uh...oh.  I was just wondering if you and Ron wanted to go out to the lake during our break this afternoon. Ron said he could but, um, do you want to come too?"  Harry had a strong urge to ask Hermione what had gotten into her, but something inside him told him to let it alone.  He wasn't one to go against his gut instinct, so he figured he would just keep quiet for now.  Ron had apparently been oblivious to the whole thing, busy devouring 3 whole sandwiches in the span of seven minutes, so there was no need to worry about him bringing it up.  Harry didn't get the feeling that she was afraid of Snape, or anything like that.  Best just to let her bring it up, should she feel the need.

            "Sure, Harry. I'd love to go.  I could use the break.  I want to read up on Scoprire Occultare today and tomorrow so this will probably be my only chance to get to spend any time with you guys." They both seemed satisfied with this, and the remainder of the lunch hour continued as normal.  They talked about relatively mundane things, mostly just gossip they heard in the course of their day, but it was nice to chat about such silly things after what they had been faced with over the last year.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

            Hermione made her way up to her private dorm, electing to forego spending the evening in the library.  After lunch, the day had gone pretty normal.  She spent some time with Harry and Ron by the lake, and then the trio headed to Advanced Care of Magical Creatures.  Hagrid had decided to spend some time away from Hogwarts to join Charlie Weasley in Romania studying dragons.  Remus Lupin had taken over the job for the time being.  Everyone seemed to be in agreement that the class would be much safer this term. They did, however, all miss Hagrid and would welcome his return after the Christmas holiday, at which time Hagrid would teach Advance Care and Remus would continue with the younger students.

            After Professor Lupin's class, they all made their way to the Great Hall for dinner.  Hermione sunk into her bed and silently scolded herself for not being able to keep her eyes off Snape for nearly the whole meal.  When he would catch her staring, he would smile and she could see a look of mild bewilderment on his face.  Each time she would blush and silently go back to eating her meal. Well... she was more playing with her meal.  She didn't have much of an appetite, what with so much on her mind.  She made some excuse about doing transfiguration homework (that wasn't due until the following Tuesday) and quickly retreated to the comfort of her rooms.

            She flopped herself onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow.  She wasn't used to not being in complete control of a situation, and this whole thing with Severus was just a little unnerving. Severus... it kind of just flows off your tongue.  It's a rather sexy name. Ugh...Hush, Hermione!! She hugged her pillow and her fingers brushed against the parchment she had hidden under it earlier that day.  She found herself wrapping her fingers around the scroll, just holding it and replaying its contents in her mind. I realized I was in love with you, Hermione...Dearest Hermione.... Hermione.  I sometimes say your name aloud when I am alone.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I say your name.  She could feel her heart fluttering slightly as she went over these lines.  It was strangely calming coming to terms with the fact that Severus was in love with her. She then did something that was decidedly un-Hermione-like.  She fell asleep in her school robes.