A/N This is unedited version so it will change slightly in future
Chapter Five The Boy Who Was Confused
Harry Potter sat in Double Potions wondering what he had done in his lifetime to deserve the death sentence that Snape had just handed out. They were to be working on a substance called Scoprire Occultare in class and each student was assigned a lab partner. He, of course, was paired with Draco Malfoy. True, there wasn't the same malice behind their relationship, and he actually didn't really mind working with the blond Slytherin. The thing that irked him was the fact that he knew Snape did it just to be contrary.
Even after working together throughout the war, he and Snape had never really mended their differences. They were civil, but Harry would always be James Potter's son, and that made for bad blood between them. Snape still was harder on him than the other students and he still went out of his way to make Harry's life more difficult than it had to be. So, he was sentenced to weeks of working along side Draco Malfoy for Snape's twisted form of amusement.
Draco Malfoy…such an enigma. He spent his first 4 years at Hogwarts making his fellow classmates wish he had been born without a tongue. He never really did anything physically damaging, aside from an inconsequential fistfight or magical scuff, but he could tear a person apart with words alone. Harry had been the target of his scathing remarks more times than he could remember. The strange thing was, while Ron and Hermione (as much as Hermione would try to deny it) would let those words pierce right through them, Harry was never really hurt as badly by them. Then during their fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry noticed a definite change in the young Malfoy. No one else commented on it, but Harry knew it was there. Malfoy was… nicer, if such a thing could be said about a Malfoy.
It was a gradual change. First it just seemed his remarks were slightly less scathing. Then his tirades seemed to become less frequent. Harry would find himself studying the Slytherin just trying to figure him out. Draco caught him staring a time or ten, but he never said a word to Harry about it. That was most surprising to Harry; surely a Malfoy wouldn't pass up a chance to humiliate him somehow. But he did pass up that chance, and it puzzled Harry greatly.
When sixth year came, Harry started to notice even bigger changes in Draco. However, it was still things that no one else seemed to notice, like his increasing impatience with his fellow Slytherins, and his total lack of muggleborn harassment. Then, near the end of their sixth year, a strange thing happened during potions class. Draco Malfoy, son of Vodemort's right hand man Lucius Malfoy, defended Neville Longbottom. Needless to say, everyone was quite shocked, particularly Neville. Snape had been especially hard on Neville that morning and the boy was shaking so badly that he accidentally put three grains of Dead Sea sand into his cauldron, instead of two. The result was 6 people, including Snape, being sprayed with the substance. Unfortunately, each victim started sprouting rather large dandelions from anywhere the potion hit. Snape, who had happened to get a scalpful of the mixture, started barking orders to people, with his head covered in bright yellow flowers. While most people were fearful enough of Snape to maintain their composure, there were a couple people (Seamus and Dean…go figure) that simply couldn't keep from cracking a smile at the spectacle before them. This, of course, enraged Snape even further but unfortunately he took it out on Neville.
Snape starting spouting insults at Neville that were so demeaning that the students just stared at him in shock. Harry had glanced at Draco during all of this, figuring the Slytherin was probably finding it all quite funny, but to his surprise Draco seemed to be getting angrier and angrier, with each insult. Then Snape made the mistake of actually insulting Neville's parents and that's when Harry saw Draco snap. He stormed over to Snape, and in a voice that was entirely un-Malfoy-like he bellowed, "How DARE you call yourself a teacher??!!! I've never heard such absolute rubbish in my entire life!! Neville's parents are probably two of the greatest Aurors that ever lived and you have the AUDACITY to speak of them in such a manor? A teacher's job is to encourage students and build their self-confidence, not to use them as their personal whipping post!! " Snape stood and stared at Draco, mouth opened and completely dumfounded. He was so caught off guard that his star pupil would dare to speak to him like this that he was, for the first time in his life, at a loss for words.
Malfoy continued, "With parents such as his, Neville has more potential than most of us here. He certainly has more than me, but you beat him down every chance you get, leaving him no self-confidence whatsoever!!" With that, Draco walked over to Neville and shook his hand. Then he picked up his books and walked out the door.
Snape, who was still in complete shock over this event, closed his mouth and walked out of the class as well, in the exact opposite direction of Draco. The rest of the class stood about for a couple of minutes, unsure of what to do, but slowly people started packing up their things to leave class. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville began cleaning up Neville's mess, and surprisingly Crabb and Goyle stayed to help them as well. No words were spoken; everyone seemed to know that such situations don't call for a discussion.
That was the day Draco effectively 'came out'. With Dumbledore's blessing, he announced to the school that he had been working as a spy for the side of Light for nearly a year. He explained how he used his common sense, rather than his sense of family loyalty, and came to the conclusion that being a Death Eater was, frankly, insane. He had made this announcement during dinner, and while most of the students just watched him, not quite sure how to react to such a proclamation, Blaise Zambini, a rather pretty Slytherin girl, stood up, walked over to Draco, and gave him a warm hug.
Harry shuddered a bit at the recollection. He remembered feeling what could only be described as jealousy toward Blaise. He had quickly dismissed the feeling at the time, but in the last few days of their sixth year, he found himself being caught staring at Draco Malfoy more and more often. During their final feast that year, when Draco caught Harry staring for the umpteenth time, Draco actually smiled at Harry. It was a small smile, but it was the last thing Harry ever expected to get from Malfoy. He quickly turned away and he could feel his ears heating up, like he had just taken a goblet of Pepper Up.
Over the next year Harry had very little contact with Draco. They each had their own responsibilities during the war and it was very rare that they would end up at the same place at the same time. In a way, Harry was disappointed with this, because he wanted to get to know the new and improved Draco Malfoy. The few times he did run into Malfoy were very brief, and the encounters left Harry feeling strangely unsatisfied; the feeling you get when you lose a book after reading only half of it.
Now he was sitting directly next to Draco Malfoy, and he would have several weeks of working with him tirelessly for two straight hours every Monday and Thursday. He was mad at Snape for trying to derive some sick pleasure by pairing him with Malfoy, but at the same time he was actually looking forward to the next few weeks.
Draco faced him, "Ok, Potter. I'll prepare the first 5 ingredients and you work on the last 4. Sound good? " Harry glanced up at Malfoy, and for a split second he wasn't sure if he would be able to speak. When did he get so bloody gorgeous? Harry blinked. Where the hell did –that- come from? Swallowing almost imperceptibly, he muttered, "Uh, yeah. Sounds good," and started chopping and shredding the ingredients on his portion of the list. He frowned to himself wondering why on earth he would think Draco, a -boy-, was gorgeous. He was busy crushing banshee fingernails in his mortar and pestle and staring off into space when he felt a hand cover his.
"Potter, it says to grind lightly, not totally pulverize to a fine powder. Where exactly is your mind today, because it's surely not on your potions assignment." He turned and Malfoy was looking at him questioningly, one eyebrow slightly raised. Gods, I hope he doesn't move his hand…and does he have any clue how damn sexy he is when he does that with his eyebrow? Harry's eyes widened, wondering why his thoughts seemed to have taken on a life of their own. He blinked hard and quickly stared down at the table, purposefully avoiding a look at Draco's hand over his. Draco, clearly thinking that Harry had quite gone off his rocker, frowned slightly and said, "Harry, is everything ok? You are acting really odd."
Forcing himself not to look in Draco's direction, he muttered at the desk, "Uh…yeah. Fine. Thanks" and went back to pulverizing his banshee fingernails. Draco sighed, and took the mortar and pestle away from Harry. Fortunately the fingernails weren't one of the rare and expensive ingredients on the list but he figured in order to keep Snape from having a hissy fit, he better prepare the rest of the ingredients himself, just to be safe. Harry just sat there, looking straight at the table.
"Don't worry about it Potter. I can work on this stuff. Even 'The Boy Who Lived' has to have an off day every now and again." He knew this would get Harry to look up at him, which is exactly why he said it. Harry hated to be called that, and true to form, Harry frowned and opened his mouth to say something back to Draco. Draco held up a hand, giving Harry a little smirk, "Just kidding, Potter. I was just trying to get you to snap out of it." With that Harry actually smiled. They were having a civilized conversation. Ok. Maybe it wasn't exactly a conversation, but at least they weren't at each other's throats.
"Sorry about that Malfoy. Just have something on my mind, is all. You don't have to do all this yourself. I can help…and 'no' I'm not going to ruin any of Snape's rare and expensive ingredients." He gave Draco a smirk that was worthy of a Malfoy, and they continued with their potion preparation without further incident. However, the entire time, in the back of Harry's mind, he wondered at the memory of Malfoy's hand over his.
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The next few days were a little fuzzy in Harry's mind. It seemed that he was having trouble concentrating, and each time he found his thoughts wandering, they were headed straight to the image of a certain Slytherin's hand over his. To make matters worse, Draco had caught him staring no less than three times at each meal. By the third time during any given meal, Draco would actually chuckle and shake his head. Sunday, after dinner, Hermione finally pulled Harry aside. "Harry, are you guys just going to keep making eyes at each other, or are you actually going to do something about it?" Harry frowned at his best friend.
"Wha? What are you talking about, Mione?" Harry was totally confused at this point, having no idea what she could possibly mean.
"Harry, it's so obvious you guys want each other. Well, it is to me, anyway. I doubt anyone else has noticed anything but you can't hide it from me. Besides, I think you would make a cute couple." Hermione smiled at Harry but just received a completely blank look from him. Gods, he really didn't know what she meant. "Harry, you really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"
Harry shook his head. He was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking though. Something in the depths of his subconscious was telling him that this was definitely a topic he should drop, but curiosity got the best of him and he found himself saying, "No, but I'd be grateful if you would just come out with it, Mione. Its clearly something you think is rather obvious." He smiled at her, so she wouldn't take his words as being defensive.
"Oh, Harry. I really thought you were just keeping it from Ron and me. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. You and Malfoy have just been ogling each other like crazy for the last few days, so I thought maybe there was something kind of starting between you."
Harry frowned, "I hardly think Draco would be ogling me. First off, I'm a guy, Mione, in case you hadn't noticed yet. And second, he has hated me since the day he could speak my name, so he might glare at me, but he certainly wouldn't 'ogle' "
Hermione gave Harry a smile, "Harry…you still live in the Muggle world when it comes to some things, don't you. It's different in the Wizarding world. They don't have the same prejudices. It's perfectly normal for a boy to have a crush on another boy here. Look at Justin and Seamus. They've been dating for years. And as far as him hating you his whole life…I don't think that is necessarily true. I think he did what his father told him to do but I don't think he ever really hated you. And whether you like to believe it or not, you were both ogling." She started to leave but then added, "By the way, Harry…you are very cute when you are in denial."
And with a satisfied smile, Hermione walked away leaving behind a very confused Harry Potter.
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Monday morning potions proved to be exercise in control. After the conversation with Hermione, Harry had started thinking more about his recent reactions to the presence of Malfoy. He knew that he probably wasn't entirely straight; kissing Ginny Weasley in his fifth year was sure proof of that. It felt like he was kissing his sister, and at the time he figured it was merely because over the years he had sort of come to think of her as family. But now, he was starting to think that it was something more than that. The brief contact he had with Malfoy in the previous potions class had given him butterflies in his stomach every time he thought of it.
Now, sitting next to him again, with a clearer grasp of how he could actually pursue a relationship with someone of the same sex, Harry was finding it decidedly difficult not to brush against Malfoy any chance he got. He didn't know if it was his imagination or not, but it seemed Draco may have been doing the same thing. He got several knowing looks from Hermione throughout the period, but he just blushed and continued working. Unfortunately, the more Harry thought about it, the more he knew he could never approach Malfoy with his new found curiosities. If Draco were totally disgusted with the idea it would be far too embarrassing to face him ever again.
When class was over, he began putting all his books and parchment back into his school bags. Draco muttered a quiet, "Take care, Harry" and exited the classroom. Hermione and Ron stood by the door waiting for Harry to finish gathering his books. He was still a little distracted, what with being so close to Draco for two hours, so he didn't notice his bag caught under the leg of the table. As he went to pick up his schoolbag he heard a loud….
r r r r i i i i i i p p p p p
All his books, ink and parchment fell to the floor. Hermione and Ron came over to help him but he waved them on. "It's ok, guys. I'll catch up. You go on ahead." They both shrugged slightly but went on. It took a few minutes to clean up his mess, but he managed to get it all done before Snape came back in from his storeroom. Harry reached into his pocket to check the time and see how late he was going to be, but instead of grabbing the pocket watch that Sirius had given him, his fingers closed around what felt to be a scroll of some sort. He pulled it from his pocket revealing a sage green parchment wrapped in a fine silver ribbon.
He frowned slightly. Odd. Definitely looks like something Malfoy would have. He must have accidentally stuck it in my pocket. It wasn't an uncommon thing. Robes were rather billowing, and when people were sitting next to each other it wasn't difficult to accidentally slide something into the wrong pocket. He shrugged and slipped it back into his pocket. However, what if it isn't Malfoy's? I wouldn't want to give him something that belonged to someone else. I better take a look at it before I try giving it back to him. He checked the time on his pocket watch and realized he was already quite late for Charms class. The parchment would have to wait. He dropped his watch back into his pocket and sprinted off to Professor Flitwick's classroom.
After Charms class Harry told his friends that he needed to run up to his dorm for something, and made his way to his personal portrait hole. He didn't want to read the parchment he found in front of anyone just in case it was something that was personal to Draco. He had never seen the blond with a girlfriend, other than the time he took Pansy Parkinson to the Yule Ball, but that didn't mean he didn't have any. It would be far too much fun for Ron to harass Draco about a love letter, if it was something like that.
With a whispered, "Oompaloompa" his door swung open and he was in his room. Dobby must have seen him coming up here, because the fire was already lit, and there was a plate of sandwiches and a pitcher of warmed butterbeer on the table by his bed. Harry had mentioned to the house elf that he was kind of sick of pumpkin juice so Dobby tried to leave him a little butterbeer now and again. He sat on the edge of his bed and fished the scroll out of his pocket. The little silver ribbon looked so delicate he was almost afraid to try to untie it, but it proved much sturdier than it looked. He spread the scroll open on the table, next to the plate of sandwiches, and read the first line.
Dear Harry,
.
