My identical twin met him at the beauty pageant. He was some wealthy
supporter's son. My sister tried avoiding him because she knew I liked him.
She was nice. She always was. I couldn't help blaming her a little bit for
our differences though.
It was no surprise Alle had attracted him to her glowing flame. It would be shining even after mother's death. Her name suited her personality perfectly. She had it all. We may have looked the same but she managed to look more stylish, pretty, funny. In short, she was better than I was. I felt left out because all my relatives were perfect. I don't know what they were like inside their homes but at every family gathering, they were able to appear so unharmed by the world around them that they stuck out majestically.
I had managed to ignore the ache of jealousy long ago. I would smile and laugh when required even though I was the oddball out of all the relatives. The reason I was the family runt? I was normal and I actually had faults.
Some people said it wasn't easy being perfect. The truth of the matter was that it wasn't easy being normal. Sometimes, I even wondered what it would be like if I had been the one named Alle instead of Ella. My parents had been overjoyed at the fact they had twins and they got quite a kick out of naming the oldest Ella and then reversing the order of the letters to name the younger one Alle. My rents constantly told the story of how the nurse had misunderstood them and put the word 'Ally' instead of 'Alle' on the birth certificate. Ever since my sister heard that story, she would go around telling people, "My name's pronounced Al-lee NOT All-ee," until she was the age of 10.
My parents thought that that phase of her life was absolutely adorable. They had no story of me that they would tell over and over again to their friends. It was always Alle that they were bragging about. I can't say that I was ignored by our parents but she did have the better relationship with them. I always prayed to God that I would finally have a time to outshine my sister. When that time did come, I wished it hadn't.
My mommy, my beautiful, wonderful, perfect mom died.
Alle stayed depressed longer than my dad or I. Mom had been her role model. She started sulking around and began ignoring hygiene. Boys tried giving her presents to get her out of her mood. It didn't work and they reluctantly started leaving her alone; one by one until no more guys rang our doorbell on Friday nights.
Suddenly, I was put into the spotlight because I was wrong. My relatives did have one fault. They were obsessed with being perfect. They must have the best and for that moment, I was better that Alle. For once in my life, I was the one being discussed about at the dinner table. I'm ashamed to admit it but I was happier than I'd ever been in my life. I was living for the moment. I knew that phase wouldn't last long and I was gonna milk it for every thing it was worth.
Now, I realize that my mother's death didn't change me for the better. It changed me for the worse. I cared more about my looks more than ever before. Selfishness was never a problem for me until then. Before, I was literally forced to admit that Alle was better than me. How can you think of yourself in those circumstances? It was during the phase of my sister's depression when I met HIM.
*~*
The minute my dad told me about the pageant, I knew I had to enter it. I needed to get my sister's cooperation too. In her current state, she couldn't care less. In her current state, I might actually beat my sister at something. I might be the best instead of second best like usual. The thought thrilled me.
It was no surprise Alle had attracted him to her glowing flame. It would be shining even after mother's death. Her name suited her personality perfectly. She had it all. We may have looked the same but she managed to look more stylish, pretty, funny. In short, she was better than I was. I felt left out because all my relatives were perfect. I don't know what they were like inside their homes but at every family gathering, they were able to appear so unharmed by the world around them that they stuck out majestically.
I had managed to ignore the ache of jealousy long ago. I would smile and laugh when required even though I was the oddball out of all the relatives. The reason I was the family runt? I was normal and I actually had faults.
Some people said it wasn't easy being perfect. The truth of the matter was that it wasn't easy being normal. Sometimes, I even wondered what it would be like if I had been the one named Alle instead of Ella. My parents had been overjoyed at the fact they had twins and they got quite a kick out of naming the oldest Ella and then reversing the order of the letters to name the younger one Alle. My rents constantly told the story of how the nurse had misunderstood them and put the word 'Ally' instead of 'Alle' on the birth certificate. Ever since my sister heard that story, she would go around telling people, "My name's pronounced Al-lee NOT All-ee," until she was the age of 10.
My parents thought that that phase of her life was absolutely adorable. They had no story of me that they would tell over and over again to their friends. It was always Alle that they were bragging about. I can't say that I was ignored by our parents but she did have the better relationship with them. I always prayed to God that I would finally have a time to outshine my sister. When that time did come, I wished it hadn't.
My mommy, my beautiful, wonderful, perfect mom died.
Alle stayed depressed longer than my dad or I. Mom had been her role model. She started sulking around and began ignoring hygiene. Boys tried giving her presents to get her out of her mood. It didn't work and they reluctantly started leaving her alone; one by one until no more guys rang our doorbell on Friday nights.
Suddenly, I was put into the spotlight because I was wrong. My relatives did have one fault. They were obsessed with being perfect. They must have the best and for that moment, I was better that Alle. For once in my life, I was the one being discussed about at the dinner table. I'm ashamed to admit it but I was happier than I'd ever been in my life. I was living for the moment. I knew that phase wouldn't last long and I was gonna milk it for every thing it was worth.
Now, I realize that my mother's death didn't change me for the better. It changed me for the worse. I cared more about my looks more than ever before. Selfishness was never a problem for me until then. Before, I was literally forced to admit that Alle was better than me. How can you think of yourself in those circumstances? It was during the phase of my sister's depression when I met HIM.
*~*
The minute my dad told me about the pageant, I knew I had to enter it. I needed to get my sister's cooperation too. In her current state, she couldn't care less. In her current state, I might actually beat my sister at something. I might be the best instead of second best like usual. The thought thrilled me.
