All For Love

Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended to anyone.

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui
Soujiro: Zong Cilang

Chapter 10: Sworn Siblings

He closed his eyes and drifted away...

"Hannya!" Cao cried out on horror, reaching out to him. Tears filled her eyes as she shook him gently. "You can't die just like this...!" If she hadn't been there, if she hadn't let herself be used by them...if she hadn't fallen for Kanryuu's trick and let herself be used to threaten Aoshi, perhaps all this would not have happened...

With a start, she jolted awake. The rays of sunlight streamed through the open window, and the realization that it was already morning gave her a sense of relief as she recalled the happenings of the night before.

They had been so worried when Hannya had lost consciousness, especially when he appeared to be dead. Luckily, a check of his pulse proved otherwise, although he did appear to have quite severe injuries. Beshimi, Hyottoko and Shikijou, luckily, had escaped with minor scrapes and bruises. It was they who had taken her home in the early hours of the day, delivering her right into her family's relieved arms (after all, she had been missing since afternoon). Aoshi had wanted to do so, but the wounds he had sustained in his leg and chest, though not extremely serious, were not superficial either. It had taken a lot of persuasion from both Cao and the other three before Aoshi had finally agreed (albeit reluctantly) to go with Hannya to the clinic to have his wounds treated. He had been insisting all the way that wounds usually looked more serious that they really were, but seeing him limp had been the last straw--she had threatened to break all ties with him if he didn't go, and that was what had convinced him to go to the doctor.

Much as she wished she could stay with Hannya, Aoshi and the rest of them, Cao did realise that her family would be extremely worried. Besides, she was getting married...that day...

She closed her eyes, letting a tear roll down her cheek. Why? Why did the gods in heaven play such a trick on her? She could still feel his closeness, as he held her in his arms the night before, comforting and protecting her. Why had heaven brought them close only to break them apart again?

There was nothing she could do about the marriage...she had tried so many times already, there was nothing else she could do now. She could only be a good girl and...

A sharp rapping on her door shook her out of her thoughts, and she turned, not even bothering to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Cao..." Jin, face solemn, started, only to stop short at the sight of the younger girl's tear-stained face.

"Are you...still thinking about him?" She asked gently. Cao turned away, wiping the tears from her eyes with her hand. She walked toward the chair in front of the dresser, where the intricately embroidered wedding gown rested, its gay red contradicting it's owner's feelings at that moment.

"I guess I shouldn't be, should I...? It is unfair to Master Zong, isn't it?" Cao asked. "I think I'd better get dressed..." With a heavy heart, she lifted both pieces of the gown, its lustrous silk slippery to her fingers.

So magnificent...so lovely...it was supposed to be a happy day. But why did the smile she forced on her face feel so fake? Even the gown, which she had so looked forward to wearing, did not look so welcoming any more. Her mind was supposed to be on her bridegroom, and her bridegroom only, yet why could she only think of someone else?

Before she could stop herself, a gush of hot tears ran down her cheeks again.

"Cao..." she felt Jin's hand on her shoulder. "I understand..."

She finally turned, her eyes brimming with tears of both sadness and frustration. "You don't! You think but you don't, but you're not me. You've never had to marry someone you hardly know!"

"Cao--"

"Don't say any more, please! I will marry Master Zong....I don't have any choice anyway..." Her face twisted with torment as she tried to control her feelings. "I--I can't do anything anymore..."

"Cao...listen to me, please!" Jin practically yelled. Cao fell silent and looked up at her, tears flowing uncontrollably.

"There isn't going to be any wedding...not today. Master Zong wants to call off the wedding. He's here now." Jin paused for effect. "And he wants to see you."

Cao felt the colour drain from her face. Wanted to call off the wedding? Why? Was there something wrong with her? Although she did not really want to marry Cilang, she was still full of questions about the calling off of the wedding. Could it be that...he knows?

Quickly, she rid her face of all traces of tears and got dressed.

They were all seated in the hall, an uncomfortable silence in the air. He rose as she appeared at the entrance to the hall, his eyes full of urgency yet with a trace of care.

" I need to talk to her alone," he told the elders. Lao Die gave his nod, and the two of them headed to the courtyard, where Cao promptly took her place on the swing. Still not looking at him, she began swinging gently as Cilang sat down opposite her.

"Why?" she finally asked after a while, her tone questioning but not pleading.

"I know about him. I know about Aoshi."

His words made her look up with a start, eyes wide in surprise. "H-how?"

His smile, still unfaltering, bore slight hints of sadness. "That night...you and him in the streets...I saw you."

Cao didn't know what to say, and so waited for him to continue.

"And then I realised that I'm not the one who can make you happy, because no matter how hard I try, your heart will still be him. Until then, I thought no one could love you more but I guess I was wrong. He does. He risked his life to save you last night and that proves my point."

"Please don't think it's your fault, it's just that I think you'll be happier with someone whom you really love, and someone who loves you much more. You're meant to be happy, Cao, and I don't want to take that away. He can give you all the love that I can't...your happiness lies with him, not me. I can't love you as much as he does, and I guess I never will. And that's why I'm breaking off our engagement. I want you two to be together, like you were meant to be." This time, his smile was genuine.

"But what about you? What are you going to do?"

"I am a man, it will be easy for me to find a bride even after breaking an engagement. But I'd just like to let you know, Cao, that I will be there for you whenever you need me. Even if we can't be related as husband and wife, we can still be like brother and sister...sworn brother and sister." He smiled wider. "I'll be your older brother and you, my younger sister. How does that sound? Closer than friends, yet neither spouses nor blood siblings."

"Older brother and younger sister..." For the first time in a long while, Cao smiled again. "Sounds good to me, Cilang-ge." Then, the spark which had returned to her eyes so briefly suddenly vanished again, as she cast her eyes away. "But...do you think Lao Die would let me be with Aoshi?"

Silence. Cilang did not know how to reply. Which parent, or grandparent for the matter, would want to marry a beloved daughter to the enemy? He wanted to assure her, but he was not even sure himself.

"It's okay. I don't even know how to answer myself." Cao stood up, her eyes downcast. Although one problem was out of the way, there was another yet to be solved. Lao Die loved her as if she were his flesh and blood granddaughter, and with this kind of love, there were two things he could do--to let her be happy and allow her to be the one she loved, or to protect her by keeping those who may harm her away.

Which action would he choose?

She didn't even know whether to laugh or cry--in fact, she felt like doing both. To laugh, because she was free to be with the one she really wanted to be with; to cry, because she was touched by what Cilang had done, and because she was unsure...unsure of what lay ahead...and lastly, because she wanted to be with Aoshi so much...so much that she couldn't bear the thought of being without him.

"Thank you so much, Cilang-ge..." she whispered. His smile never wavered, though closer observers would have noticed the hint of sadness in it.

"I wish you two the best," he told her gently, eyes full of sincerity. She smiled back.

"Thank you," she whispered again, as she headed back into the house. As he watched her disappear into the distance, Cilang made a silent vow: No matter what, I will protect you...just as a brother will protect his sister. Aoshi, you had better take good care of her!

No sooner had Cao stepped back into the main hall that there was a loud, urgent knocking on the door. Hesitating, it was a while before Jin cautiously went to answer it, Cao close behind her.

The moment she caught sight of the unexpected visitor, Jin's mouth fell open in shock. Curious, Cao stepped up beside her. The first thing her eyes came into contact with was the deep, olive green of a Japanese military uniform, followed by the bandaged leg.

Then, their eyes met, and she saw the longing and love that cursed through them At that moment, she really felt like crying.

They stood there silently for a while, neither saying a word, neither moving, just taking in the sight of each other. Cao's eyes fell down to the bandage on his leg, and the pained way he leaned against Shikijou who was supporting him.

"You should be resting..." she told him gently, the tenderness in her eyes obvious to all.

"No...I had to come." He had a determined look about him, even as he shifted his glance to Jin who had recovered from her initial shock.

"I have come to ask for Cao's hand in marriage."

This time, Jin kept a calm exterior, though she must have been more stunned at this new revelation than she had been at the sight of the wounded Japanese officer right outside the door. "Please come in. This will have to be discussed with my grandfather."

Aoshi bowed in thanks and limped in, with Shikijou supporting him from behind. Every painful hobble made Cao's heart ache unbearably, especially with the knowledge that Aoshi had sustained those injuries while trying to protect her.

If--no, when we are married, I want to make him happy--happier than he's ever been. I'll be the best wife there can ever be. This time, her eyes were shining, bright with happiness and hope. Please, please, Lao Die, please let Aoshi and I be together!

The hall fell silent as Lao Die, eyeing Aoshi for the first time, gave him a critical once-over. "I understand you came to ask for my granddaughter's hand in marriage. You must know, however, that I am not selling her, or giving her away, thus I will not let just any man have her. How do I know you are worthy? You are a Japanese officer."

Aoshi took a deep breath. "Because I love her. I don't know if it's reason enough, but I love her, and will protect her for the rest of her life. Any man would find it hard to admit in front of so many, but I am not ashamed of my feelings." [Why does this sound a bit Shakespearean? Groan...must be an overdose of Twelfth Night]

"He's saved me many times, Lao Die. Yesterday, he nearly died trying to protect me. Even if you don't believe him, please believe me--I love him! He isn't what you think...he isn't inhuman like so many others. Lao Die, please let us be together," Cao begged.

Lao Die seemed to be deep in thought for a while. "You do realise what you're getting yourself into if you...marry him, don't you, Cao?" Before she could reply, he answered for her. "Knowing you, you'll do anything to get what you want no matter what stands in your way. The more obstacles you face, the harder you try." He turned to look at them. "How long has this been going on?"

"Two months."

"And I knew nothing about it?" Lao Die caught sight of the guilty looks on Jin and Zeng's faces. "You two knew and kept it from me!

"We..." Jin was at a loss for words.

"It's not their fault. They tried to discourage me but--"

"But true to character, you were as strong-willed as always." Lao Die sighed. "It's been your character since you were a child--when you wanted something, you'd try all ways and means to get it, regardless of what stood in your way. Marriage is not a small matter, however, and I don't want you to regret this. This is not a time to be rash, Cao."

"I know, but I'm really sure about this--I want to be with him!" Cao's eyes were beginning to fill with tears.

"No." Lao Die turned away again, not wanting anyone to see the agony his eyes betrayed.

"Why not?!" Cao asked, her voice choked full of despair. Even Jin and Zeng looked surprised at the old man's firm disapproval. "I've found whom I've want to spend the rest of my life with..."

"You're still young, Cao, how can you be so sure? If it was any other man, than perhaps I would consider it. But he--he--Don't you know what they've done? Fine, even if he wasn't the one who did all that, do you think the other people are going to be so open-minded? I know there are people out there whom to Japanese soldiers--regardless of rank or name or anything, and those associated with them are all evil, heartless murderers. They do not see the soldiers as individuals, just a murderous tyrants. They'll seek revenge when the time is ripe, and I don't want you to be drawn into that!"

"I've made up my mind. As you said, he wasn't the one who did all that! In any war, blood is bound to be shed. It wasn't him who killed so many. He's saved so many lives, it's probably made up for all those he's taken. In fact, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Marriage is not purely about gratitude and repaying kindnesses."

"It's not, because I love him!" Cao practically yelled out, tears streaming down her face. The entire hall fell silent, as Cao fell onto her knees, having used all her energy in that proclamation. "It's not about gratitude, and I don't care what the others think...I'll bear with anything. The people can say or do anything, but as long as Aoshi and I love each other, I don't care. I don't care how many he's killed, as long as he feels remorse he's not inhuman. And I believe...that he's a good man." Unable to speak any more, she could only give in to her tears.

It was then that Aoshi, silent all the while, finally spoke up.

"I know what the people feel about us, and I understand. I admit that my hands have been stained with the blood of many, and I can never wash it off. I am not worthy of her, I can't deny it. But I swear that I love her, and I promise I'll protect her for as long as either of us is alive. "

There was another pregnant pause before Lao Die spoke again.

"Have you forgotten about your brothers?"

Have you forgotten about your brothers? The question came so suddenly, so unexpectedly, that Cao did not know what to say. No...I haven't forgotten...how could I?

She didn't reply.

"He could have been the one who killed them. If so, how would their spirits feel if you went with him?"

"They're not dead, you can't be sure that they are. Besides, they'd want me to be happy... Hei-ge and Bai-ge were--no, are not the type to pursue revenge."

"If that's what you think, then I have nothing else to say. Go with him all you want." Lao Die look resignedly at her. "There's nothing I can do to stop you."

Cao would have danced around in joy, if it had not been for a certain ominence in his tone. There was a foreboding in the air as everyone waited with bated breath for what he was going to say next.

And after a lapse of what seemed like an entire decade, her foster grandfather, who had taken care of her and brought her up all those years, finally said it.

"But from then on, you will not be related in any way with any of us any more. And you will not step into this house ever again."

tbc...

Sorry for the huge delay! My fault--first, school work and activities kept me so busy I hardly had time to write, and after all that was over I had a bad case of writer's block, especially in the middle of this chapter; I knew what was going to happen but I just didn't know how to describe it. Retyped that part many, many times but somehow everything the characters said either sounded too out of character or plain strange. I think that I was just too exhausted to think straight that time( Secondary 3 isn't as easy as i thought it'd be). At any rate, this chapter is finally out.

So much has been going on in the world--the SARS (Severe acute Respiratory Syndrome) outbreak, the war on Iraq...I hope this fic reminds everyone that war is never good. In a war, not only the lives of soldiers are lost, but those of innocent civilians as well. I'm not going to make any political comments as the whole thing is beyond my understanding, but to me no side is entirely innocent.

As for the SARS outbreak, even though school has been closed until April 6 here, it's not really a cause for celebration...(whines) I'd rather have my full June holidays than be cooped up at home! Can't go out too much :P But then again, this does lower the risk of catching the bug, as well as gives me more time to 1. complete this chapter and hopefully the next chapter as well 2. finish up 2 school projects which would otherwise have been way underdone 3. Finish reading my Kaze Hikaru comics and 4. Catch up on Math revision (which is awfully important considering the 2 F9s I got...)

Until the next chapter, take care of yourselves (Don't let the SARS bug bite!) and let there be peace soon.