Weird Things in the Tekken Universe
By BahamutZERO
Chapter 2
At the tournament.
Paul and Hwoarang were up first. Their opponents: Ryu and Ken. Ryu said," Look, Paul. We both know you suck. You can't withstand my hurricane kick." Paul narrowed his eyes. Nobody, repeat, NOBODY calls Paul a loser. He cracked his knuckles and snarled," You just signed your death warrant, Astro Boy." FIGHT!! POW!! It was all over. Paul delivered a Phoenix Smasher right into his gut. Ryu was launched into the air and hit the ground, rolling back into a wall. Paul spat on the ground and said," Who's next?"
Anna and Lei were getting ready. Lei slipped into a shiny green outfit, while Anna put on a skanky bikini. They were up against Zangief and Jacky. FIGHT!! Zangief tried to fall on Lei, who ducked and slipped away. Zangief got up and sent some slow punches, which Lei rolled away from. He came in with his super patented Lice Buster. Zangief reeled in pain. But still, he picked Lei up and performed a spinning pile driver, knocking Lei to the side. Lei reached a hand out to Anna, who ran in and kicked Zangief's dick. He fell over and lay still. Then he got up and ran as Jacky rushed in. He sent some kicks. Anna dodged them and grabbed Jacky by his hand. She punched his jaw, then sprained his arm, then locked his arm between her legs and rolled over, breaking Jacky's arm in an instant. Anna had won! She stripped off her clothes and shook her breasts in triumph.
Kazuya and Jun were in a locker room. Jun slipped into her blue gi and fastened her kneepads. Kazuya removed his shirt and pulled his sparring gloves on. They were fighting Cammy and M. Bison. Kazuya grabbed Jun and pulled her close. Jun stood on her toes and whispered into Kazuya's ear. "What the hell are they doing?" Cammy asked. "They are doing things that a husband and wife do." "Well, that tells me a lot, you dick fart!" FIGHT!! Cammy didn't even see Jun rush in with her Tooth Fairy. She juggled Cammy with some sweep kicks. Cammy jumped away and M. Bison shot in with a jump kick. Jun ducked underneath, then grabbed Bison and threw him to the ground, where Kazuya flew in with Demon Scissors. Cammy rushed back in. Kazuya missed his Gut Punch and was met with a retaliatory head kick. Kazuya dazed over to Jun, who spun and caught Cammy by the knee with her Violet. She rolled and pushed Cammy over, breaking her knee. The fight was over. Kazuya rushed over to Jun and the two engaged in seventeen minutes and forty-two second long kiss. Then Kazuya said one thing: TWAH!!
King and Ling were facing their opponents. Ling was especially mad at her foe: Chung Li. They both leaped, cart wheeled, and flipped around. They both tired and tagged out. King rushed in to meet his opponent, Fei Long. Fei ducked and slipped out of King's grapples. Tried as he might, King could not pull off his throws. King reverted to his punches and kicks, but he was too slow. Kicks and punches pummeled King until he could take no more. Ling immediately flipped in and kicked Fei right in the shin. He tagged. Ling grabbed Chung and pushed her into King, who broke her pussy with Muscle Buster. King realized that if he was going to grab, now was the time (slow motion, insert Chariots of Fire music). Then he grabbed Fei in a Giant Swing and threw him into Chung. He grabbed Chung and threw her into a DDT. Fei got to his feet, which were broken by King's Scorpion Death Lock. They fell, battered and bruised. Ling jumped up and down and hugged King, who, in his frenzy, picked Ling up and delivered a Tombstone Pile Driver.
Bruce and Bryan were facing Sagat and Blanka. Bruce pointed at Sagat. "I'm better than him!" Bryan agreed. "Yep. He's Sagat the faggot!" FIGHT!! "Tiger! Tiger! Tiger! Tiger!" "Stop with the fucking tigers!" Bruce did his spin and slap on Sagat. He tagged out and Blanka came in and humped Bruce. "Ugh! Help me Bryan!" Bryan rushed in and used Mach Breaker. POW!! Blanka was knocked cold. Sagat returned and sent more tigers. Bruce ducked low and finished with his Tornado uppercut. Then Bryan grabbed Sagat and brought a knee into his crotch. "AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Jin and Yoshimitsu were up against Sarah and Lion. Jin faced Lion first. Jin easily beat him to a pulp. He drove his fist into Lion's stomach and knocked him away. Then, he grabbed Lion and used Complicated Wire. Sarah jumped and swept Jin off his feet. Looking up, Jin saw Sarah leap into the air, ready to pounce. Jin rolled away as Yoshi came in and used Poison Wind on the grounded Sarah. Then he hit the floor and stared at her. Sarah screamed," I'm going to wipe my ass on your sword!!" Yoshi jumped up and spun around. He lodged his sword into her backside. Sarah stood there, coughing up blood. Yoshi pushed the sword in harder and let her go. She dropped dead to the ground. Then. "Ah, Jin. An amazing form of martial arts." Akira stood there. Jin narrowed his eyes. "What do you want from me?" "A fight to the death. Many say you are as good as me. But I'll prove who is superior!" Akira rushed Jin with a series of blazing fast attacks. Jin blocked and parried, and finally they caught each other in an arm lock. Akira said," Forget it! You're ten years too early!" "You're one year too late," Jin replied through gritted teeth. He used Demon Steel Pedal and smashed him in the jaw. The fight continued until Akira had beaten Jin. Jin was lying on the ground. Akira started beating off in triumph when. Jin saw his mother appear before him. "Jin," she said. "Don't give up!" Ling. "Jin, we still have so much time for fucking left!" "Jin, my son. You are a superb master of karate. You CAN beat Akira. Now while your mother and I freshen up (cough) you kill Akira." Ling flashed her boobs. "Now get up!!!!!!!" A lightning bolt streaked across the sky. Jin rose up as the rain pounded on him like a mass of heresy. He flashed his eyes in sheer power. "Oh, Jin. So now you think you can beat me. Forget it! You can't win. You. will. fail!" Jin screamed as his Devil Gene came to live, enveloping him in light. Jin sprouted wings and attacked Akira. Akira stood no chance. He was beaten to a pulp. Jin reverted and said," What just happened? One minute I was a devil, next I feel like I just had an orgasm."
Kazuya had defeated his father. He threw him. into a wastebasket. Back at home; they were lounging on the bed. Jun touched Kazuya's face. "Oh, honey. You were incredible." "That's right, Jun Bug." Jun giggled. "I LOVE it when you do that! Come here!!!!" At another part of the world: "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Bruce had just driven his knee into Bryan's nuts.
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Chapter 3 is coming soon. Until then!
Chapter 2
At the tournament.
Paul and Hwoarang were up first. Their opponents: Ryu and Ken. Ryu said," Look, Paul. We both know you suck. You can't withstand my hurricane kick." Paul narrowed his eyes. Nobody, repeat, NOBODY calls Paul a loser. He cracked his knuckles and snarled," You just signed your death warrant, Astro Boy." FIGHT!! POW!! It was all over. Paul delivered a Phoenix Smasher right into his gut. Ryu was launched into the air and hit the ground, rolling back into a wall. Paul spat on the ground and said," Who's next?"
Anna and Lei were getting ready. Lei slipped into a shiny green outfit, while Anna put on a skanky bikini. They were up against Zangief and Jacky. FIGHT!! Zangief tried to fall on Lei, who ducked and slipped away. Zangief got up and sent some slow punches, which Lei rolled away from. He came in with his super patented Lice Buster. Zangief reeled in pain. But still, he picked Lei up and performed a spinning pile driver, knocking Lei to the side. Lei reached a hand out to Anna, who ran in and kicked Zangief's dick. He fell over and lay still. Then he got up and ran as Jacky rushed in. He sent some kicks. Anna dodged them and grabbed Jacky by his hand. She punched his jaw, then sprained his arm, then locked his arm between her legs and rolled over, breaking Jacky's arm in an instant. Anna had won! She stripped off her clothes and shook her breasts in triumph.
Kazuya and Jun were in a locker room. Jun slipped into her blue gi and fastened her kneepads. Kazuya removed his shirt and pulled his sparring gloves on. They were fighting Cammy and M. Bison. Kazuya grabbed Jun and pulled her close. Jun stood on her toes and whispered into Kazuya's ear. "What the hell are they doing?" Cammy asked. "They are doing things that a husband and wife do." "Well, that tells me a lot, you dick fart!" FIGHT!! Cammy didn't even see Jun rush in with her Tooth Fairy. She juggled Cammy with some sweep kicks. Cammy jumped away and M. Bison shot in with a jump kick. Jun ducked underneath, then grabbed Bison and threw him to the ground, where Kazuya flew in with Demon Scissors. Cammy rushed back in. Kazuya missed his Gut Punch and was met with a retaliatory head kick. Kazuya dazed over to Jun, who spun and caught Cammy by the knee with her Violet. She rolled and pushed Cammy over, breaking her knee. The fight was over. Kazuya rushed over to Jun and the two engaged in seventeen minutes and forty-two second long kiss. Then Kazuya said one thing: TWAH!!
King and Ling were facing their opponents. Ling was especially mad at her foe: Chung Li. They both leaped, cart wheeled, and flipped around. They both tired and tagged out. King rushed in to meet his opponent, Fei Long. Fei ducked and slipped out of King's grapples. Tried as he might, King could not pull off his throws. King reverted to his punches and kicks, but he was too slow. Kicks and punches pummeled King until he could take no more. Ling immediately flipped in and kicked Fei right in the shin. He tagged. Ling grabbed Chung and pushed her into King, who broke her pussy with Muscle Buster. King realized that if he was going to grab, now was the time (slow motion, insert Chariots of Fire music). Then he grabbed Fei in a Giant Swing and threw him into Chung. He grabbed Chung and threw her into a DDT. Fei got to his feet, which were broken by King's Scorpion Death Lock. They fell, battered and bruised. Ling jumped up and down and hugged King, who, in his frenzy, picked Ling up and delivered a Tombstone Pile Driver.
Bruce and Bryan were facing Sagat and Blanka. Bruce pointed at Sagat. "I'm better than him!" Bryan agreed. "Yep. He's Sagat the faggot!" FIGHT!! "Tiger! Tiger! Tiger! Tiger!" "Stop with the fucking tigers!" Bruce did his spin and slap on Sagat. He tagged out and Blanka came in and humped Bruce. "Ugh! Help me Bryan!" Bryan rushed in and used Mach Breaker. POW!! Blanka was knocked cold. Sagat returned and sent more tigers. Bruce ducked low and finished with his Tornado uppercut. Then Bryan grabbed Sagat and brought a knee into his crotch. "AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Jin and Yoshimitsu were up against Sarah and Lion. Jin faced Lion first. Jin easily beat him to a pulp. He drove his fist into Lion's stomach and knocked him away. Then, he grabbed Lion and used Complicated Wire. Sarah jumped and swept Jin off his feet. Looking up, Jin saw Sarah leap into the air, ready to pounce. Jin rolled away as Yoshi came in and used Poison Wind on the grounded Sarah. Then he hit the floor and stared at her. Sarah screamed," I'm going to wipe my ass on your sword!!" Yoshi jumped up and spun around. He lodged his sword into her backside. Sarah stood there, coughing up blood. Yoshi pushed the sword in harder and let her go. She dropped dead to the ground. Then. "Ah, Jin. An amazing form of martial arts." Akira stood there. Jin narrowed his eyes. "What do you want from me?" "A fight to the death. Many say you are as good as me. But I'll prove who is superior!" Akira rushed Jin with a series of blazing fast attacks. Jin blocked and parried, and finally they caught each other in an arm lock. Akira said," Forget it! You're ten years too early!" "You're one year too late," Jin replied through gritted teeth. He used Demon Steel Pedal and smashed him in the jaw. The fight continued until Akira had beaten Jin. Jin was lying on the ground. Akira started beating off in triumph when. Jin saw his mother appear before him. "Jin," she said. "Don't give up!" Ling. "Jin, we still have so much time for fucking left!" "Jin, my son. You are a superb master of karate. You CAN beat Akira. Now while your mother and I freshen up (cough) you kill Akira." Ling flashed her boobs. "Now get up!!!!!!!" A lightning bolt streaked across the sky. Jin rose up as the rain pounded on him like a mass of heresy. He flashed his eyes in sheer power. "Oh, Jin. So now you think you can beat me. Forget it! You can't win. You. will. fail!" Jin screamed as his Devil Gene came to live, enveloping him in light. Jin sprouted wings and attacked Akira. Akira stood no chance. He was beaten to a pulp. Jin reverted and said," What just happened? One minute I was a devil, next I feel like I just had an orgasm."
Kazuya had defeated his father. He threw him. into a wastebasket. Back at home; they were lounging on the bed. Jun touched Kazuya's face. "Oh, honey. You were incredible." "That's right, Jun Bug." Jun giggled. "I LOVE it when you do that! Come here!!!!" At another part of the world: "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Bruce had just driven his knee into Bryan's nuts.
-
Chapter 3 is coming soon. Until then!
