Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my
invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for
writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.
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A Love Lost - and Refound?
Chapter 4 - What Am I Doing?
Setha was alone at last. Dumbledore had insisted on introducing her to all teachers right after the banquet. Now everyone knew her for what she was, an auror who had come to Hogwarts to protect everyone. Only one had not been there, Professor Snape had come up with a silly excuse and left the assembly of the teachers. Everyone seemed relieved to have her at Hogwarts; they thought that an auror would sense Death-Eaters in a range of 100 miles. Of course that was not so.
Now she was in the office that had only last year harboured one of the most dangerous Death-Eaters, Barty Crouch. She wondered whether she would have been able to identify him. Before Crouch, her friend Remus had been living here. She missed him and hoped he would come back to Hogwarts one day. Thinking of Remus made her think of Sirius as well. She would have to ask him to forgive her . had she not believed the tale that he had been Voldemort's right hand for years? But there was still something that stood between them that always would stand between them, the curse that still lay on Setha. When would she see him again, and what would she do?
But right now there were other things she had to worry about. Down in the great hall she had seen him again, Severus Snape. Her feelings towards him had overwhelmed her when she looked into his eyes. She still loved him it was true. But she also hated him for what he had done to her. She had already taken something from him he had been eager to get forever, the post as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. And she wouldn't stop there. She would make him pay for every harsh word he had ever said to her, for leaving her, for breaking her heart.
But could she? Wouldn't Dumbledore interfere at some point? He had known about their love, he had warned her that her Gryffindor friends might not approve of her choice. And he trusted Severus; surely he didn't want him to get hurt. Or would he give her a chance to get her revenge?
She had planed everything. She would treat him the way she should have treated him during her time at Hogwarts. She would be a Gryffindor who saw nothing more in him than a Slytherin. For every point he took off Gryffindor she would find a reason to take 10 off Slytherin. It was not fair, and unworthy of a Hogwarts teacher, but she didn't care. Severus was no more that a Death-Eater in her eyes, a servant of Voldemort who needed to be crushed. She had never been vengeful, but seeing him again changed everything.
She suddenly remembered how she had felt when she found out about him becoming a Death-Eater; she had thought she was responsible. How many squibs, mud-bloods and muggles died because of him. How often did the words Avada Kedavra come over his lips before he decided to become a spy? Yes, she would force herself to see him for what he had become, not for what he had been. And maybe she had been mistaken about his true feelings all the time? Maybe he had just used her? She had been helping him a great deal with his Transfiguration problems after all. Had this been all she's ever meant to him?
This was of course not the case, and deep inside of her she knew this too. But still, this was like making up a reason for being mean to him, and it worked. She would have no bad feelings if she hurt him, and maybe her friends would assist her this time.
"Oh my God, what am I doing?" she exclaimed. "What have I become? I can't have sunken so low. Getting my revenge is one thing, but using the hatred of Sirius for my purposes would be something Voldemort would do, but not me!" She began to hope that Sirius would stay away for as long as possible. With him at Hogwarts, she would not be able to enjoy her revenge for fear that Sirius might be up to something again.
But all her hope was in vain. Hedwig was just about to deliver an interesting letter to Sirius, a letter that would result in his sudden interest to leave everything behind and travel to Hogwarts as fast as possible. And while Setha and Severus went to sleep at last, Sirius made ready to face his true love again.
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A Love Lost - and Refound?
Chapter 4 - What Am I Doing?
Setha was alone at last. Dumbledore had insisted on introducing her to all teachers right after the banquet. Now everyone knew her for what she was, an auror who had come to Hogwarts to protect everyone. Only one had not been there, Professor Snape had come up with a silly excuse and left the assembly of the teachers. Everyone seemed relieved to have her at Hogwarts; they thought that an auror would sense Death-Eaters in a range of 100 miles. Of course that was not so.
Now she was in the office that had only last year harboured one of the most dangerous Death-Eaters, Barty Crouch. She wondered whether she would have been able to identify him. Before Crouch, her friend Remus had been living here. She missed him and hoped he would come back to Hogwarts one day. Thinking of Remus made her think of Sirius as well. She would have to ask him to forgive her . had she not believed the tale that he had been Voldemort's right hand for years? But there was still something that stood between them that always would stand between them, the curse that still lay on Setha. When would she see him again, and what would she do?
But right now there were other things she had to worry about. Down in the great hall she had seen him again, Severus Snape. Her feelings towards him had overwhelmed her when she looked into his eyes. She still loved him it was true. But she also hated him for what he had done to her. She had already taken something from him he had been eager to get forever, the post as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. And she wouldn't stop there. She would make him pay for every harsh word he had ever said to her, for leaving her, for breaking her heart.
But could she? Wouldn't Dumbledore interfere at some point? He had known about their love, he had warned her that her Gryffindor friends might not approve of her choice. And he trusted Severus; surely he didn't want him to get hurt. Or would he give her a chance to get her revenge?
She had planed everything. She would treat him the way she should have treated him during her time at Hogwarts. She would be a Gryffindor who saw nothing more in him than a Slytherin. For every point he took off Gryffindor she would find a reason to take 10 off Slytherin. It was not fair, and unworthy of a Hogwarts teacher, but she didn't care. Severus was no more that a Death-Eater in her eyes, a servant of Voldemort who needed to be crushed. She had never been vengeful, but seeing him again changed everything.
She suddenly remembered how she had felt when she found out about him becoming a Death-Eater; she had thought she was responsible. How many squibs, mud-bloods and muggles died because of him. How often did the words Avada Kedavra come over his lips before he decided to become a spy? Yes, she would force herself to see him for what he had become, not for what he had been. And maybe she had been mistaken about his true feelings all the time? Maybe he had just used her? She had been helping him a great deal with his Transfiguration problems after all. Had this been all she's ever meant to him?
This was of course not the case, and deep inside of her she knew this too. But still, this was like making up a reason for being mean to him, and it worked. She would have no bad feelings if she hurt him, and maybe her friends would assist her this time.
"Oh my God, what am I doing?" she exclaimed. "What have I become? I can't have sunken so low. Getting my revenge is one thing, but using the hatred of Sirius for my purposes would be something Voldemort would do, but not me!" She began to hope that Sirius would stay away for as long as possible. With him at Hogwarts, she would not be able to enjoy her revenge for fear that Sirius might be up to something again.
But all her hope was in vain. Hedwig was just about to deliver an interesting letter to Sirius, a letter that would result in his sudden interest to leave everything behind and travel to Hogwarts as fast as possible. And while Setha and Severus went to sleep at last, Sirius made ready to face his true love again.
