Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my
invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for
writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.
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A Love Lost - and Refound?
Chapter 11 - Suspicion
"A port-key you say, but how did you know?" Professor Dumbledore stared at Setha. They had retired to the headmaster's office, joined by Professors Snape and McGonagall, the latter standing next to Dumbledore. She also looked at Setha in puzzlement and shock. "Surely Aurors can't detect port- keys all of a sudden," she said. Setha sighed, "But foul play professor, and that is what I felt, from the moment on I came to the Quidditch pit. An evil air that had its centre in the Snitch. I had to stop the match to make sure, to find out what was wrong. Only when I was flying close to it did I see it for what it was. The one who put the charm on the Snitch must have been in a hurry. He left a mark on it, so at once I knew it was a port-key. And we don't need to think hard to assume where it would have taken the one who touched it..."
None of the others noticed her gaze gliding over to Severus who stood in a corner, apparently very interested in the pattern of the office floor. He didn't even look up when she continued, "But don't worry, from now on I'll be checking all the balls and brooms before every training and match." Why wasn't he commenting on what she had just said, or on what had happened? After all, it had been her who had got Dumbledore to allow the Quidditch Cup. Surely there was enough to complain about. Why wasn't he doing it?
Dumbledore shook is head, "No Setha, there will be no more Quidditch at Hogwarts until the culprit is caught. I cannot answer for the danger this would mean for the players." All four knew that he was in fact referring to a very special player, the Seeker of Gryffindor. But Setha was not to be silenced this easy, "Professor, not even a Death Eater would try the same thing twice. He'd be mad if he did. Please, think of the students. They are frightened enough, hearing all the news of Voldemort's return and such. My presence here doesn't make things easier for them either. Give them at least some kind of normality. They already had a year without the inter- house Quidditch Cup. And if something should happen again, I will take responsibility for it. After all, I am the one who asked you to allow Quidditch in the first place."
"But Professor Dumbledore's the headmaster, not you," Professor McGonagall stated. "Thank you, Minerva. But I think Setha knows this..." Dumbledore smiled at Setha, reading in her eyes. "Would you mind excusing us? Minerva, Severus?" Setha could see Snape swallow hard, but he nodded and swept out of the room. Professor McGonagall looked from one the headmaster's face to Setha's. "Very well, if you need me, I'll explain everything as good as I can to the Quidditch players of my house."
With the two others gone, Dumbledore now asked directly what he had wanted to since Setha had landed next to him on the Quidditch field. "You have a suspicion, don't you?" Setha was walking about the office, finally stopping in front of the phoenix, caressing his beak. When she turned to face the headmaster her face was a mask of fear and agony. "Of course I do, but I'm afraid that you won't believe me. I myself can hardly believe it." Her voice was heavy with emotions. Fawkes had flown up to her shoulder, now leaning his head against her cheek, trying to comfort her.
Dumbledore pursued his question. "Whom do you suspect, Setha? I need to know that!" What he saw in Setha's eyes hit him and shook him to his core. "You can't mean, you can't be serious..." Setha looked away, sighing. "I told you, you would not believe me. But I saw him coming out of Madame Hooch's tent, and she was not there. So he was alone with the balls, he had the chance..." She felt her heart cramp, only one question spinning in her head, 'Am I responsible for this?'
"But he's not a Death Eater anymore, he's on our side. He's been for a long time, I trust him!" Dumbledore was reaching out a hand towards her. "You can't really think it was him. Doesn't your heart tell you that this can't be?" Setha's voice was almost inaudible when she replied, "My heart has brought me this far, I cannot trust it any longer."
Dumbledore had never seen her this desperate. So she was still struggling against her feeling, trying to convince herself that she hated the one she really loved. It took so much of her strength away from her. But now she thought him not only a traitor of their feelings, but an enemy. He'd have never re-joined Voldemort, never. Not with her around... Not with her around? Maybe her presence had caused something to crack inside of him, maybe... "Setha, if you're right you must know that this is not really him. He's desperate, hiding his feelings for you..." She cut him short, "What feelings? You mean he wants to destroy me completely? He's the one responsible for my current state! Stop thinking of him as someone who's to be pitied! He deserves no kindness, no understanding. And if I'm right the only thing he truly deserves is death!"
"You can't mean that. Setha, did you hear what you just said? It would destroy you if you would kill him. Would destroy all that is good and kind and gentle in you. I see that it was a mistake to call you back to Hogwarts, but only because it brings all this hurt and pain to you."
Setha sighed, "So would you rather have me close my eyes to the things that I see clearly before me? I can't do that; no matter how much grief it brings to you, or me for that matter. Do you think I took pleasure in arresting Sirius? No. It tormented me for years. But I still did it, to save others. Only because you trust someone, Professor, I can't turn a blind eye. Your affections don't make a good person out of everyone..." her voice trailed off, heavy with emotions, emotions she didn't even know she had.
She was right, Dumbledore knew that. But he was as well. It would break her. Her fragile soul would be utterly destroyed. "Find me evidence, evidence that even I can't ignore." His eyes were fixed on her, almost burning her. She only nodded silently. She felt his words echoed by a voice inside of her. Her mind in confusion, still unable and unwilling to accept the truth of the headmaster's words. Slowly she turned her head to Fawkes, who was still sitting on her shoulder. "See you my friend." The phoenix spread his wings and flew over to his master. "Professor, you shall get your evidence, your proof that what I say is right." With that she turned and walked out of the office, forcing herself to ignore the cry of her heart, 'It can't be true...'
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A Love Lost - and Refound?
Chapter 11 - Suspicion
"A port-key you say, but how did you know?" Professor Dumbledore stared at Setha. They had retired to the headmaster's office, joined by Professors Snape and McGonagall, the latter standing next to Dumbledore. She also looked at Setha in puzzlement and shock. "Surely Aurors can't detect port- keys all of a sudden," she said. Setha sighed, "But foul play professor, and that is what I felt, from the moment on I came to the Quidditch pit. An evil air that had its centre in the Snitch. I had to stop the match to make sure, to find out what was wrong. Only when I was flying close to it did I see it for what it was. The one who put the charm on the Snitch must have been in a hurry. He left a mark on it, so at once I knew it was a port-key. And we don't need to think hard to assume where it would have taken the one who touched it..."
None of the others noticed her gaze gliding over to Severus who stood in a corner, apparently very interested in the pattern of the office floor. He didn't even look up when she continued, "But don't worry, from now on I'll be checking all the balls and brooms before every training and match." Why wasn't he commenting on what she had just said, or on what had happened? After all, it had been her who had got Dumbledore to allow the Quidditch Cup. Surely there was enough to complain about. Why wasn't he doing it?
Dumbledore shook is head, "No Setha, there will be no more Quidditch at Hogwarts until the culprit is caught. I cannot answer for the danger this would mean for the players." All four knew that he was in fact referring to a very special player, the Seeker of Gryffindor. But Setha was not to be silenced this easy, "Professor, not even a Death Eater would try the same thing twice. He'd be mad if he did. Please, think of the students. They are frightened enough, hearing all the news of Voldemort's return and such. My presence here doesn't make things easier for them either. Give them at least some kind of normality. They already had a year without the inter- house Quidditch Cup. And if something should happen again, I will take responsibility for it. After all, I am the one who asked you to allow Quidditch in the first place."
"But Professor Dumbledore's the headmaster, not you," Professor McGonagall stated. "Thank you, Minerva. But I think Setha knows this..." Dumbledore smiled at Setha, reading in her eyes. "Would you mind excusing us? Minerva, Severus?" Setha could see Snape swallow hard, but he nodded and swept out of the room. Professor McGonagall looked from one the headmaster's face to Setha's. "Very well, if you need me, I'll explain everything as good as I can to the Quidditch players of my house."
With the two others gone, Dumbledore now asked directly what he had wanted to since Setha had landed next to him on the Quidditch field. "You have a suspicion, don't you?" Setha was walking about the office, finally stopping in front of the phoenix, caressing his beak. When she turned to face the headmaster her face was a mask of fear and agony. "Of course I do, but I'm afraid that you won't believe me. I myself can hardly believe it." Her voice was heavy with emotions. Fawkes had flown up to her shoulder, now leaning his head against her cheek, trying to comfort her.
Dumbledore pursued his question. "Whom do you suspect, Setha? I need to know that!" What he saw in Setha's eyes hit him and shook him to his core. "You can't mean, you can't be serious..." Setha looked away, sighing. "I told you, you would not believe me. But I saw him coming out of Madame Hooch's tent, and she was not there. So he was alone with the balls, he had the chance..." She felt her heart cramp, only one question spinning in her head, 'Am I responsible for this?'
"But he's not a Death Eater anymore, he's on our side. He's been for a long time, I trust him!" Dumbledore was reaching out a hand towards her. "You can't really think it was him. Doesn't your heart tell you that this can't be?" Setha's voice was almost inaudible when she replied, "My heart has brought me this far, I cannot trust it any longer."
Dumbledore had never seen her this desperate. So she was still struggling against her feeling, trying to convince herself that she hated the one she really loved. It took so much of her strength away from her. But now she thought him not only a traitor of their feelings, but an enemy. He'd have never re-joined Voldemort, never. Not with her around... Not with her around? Maybe her presence had caused something to crack inside of him, maybe... "Setha, if you're right you must know that this is not really him. He's desperate, hiding his feelings for you..." She cut him short, "What feelings? You mean he wants to destroy me completely? He's the one responsible for my current state! Stop thinking of him as someone who's to be pitied! He deserves no kindness, no understanding. And if I'm right the only thing he truly deserves is death!"
"You can't mean that. Setha, did you hear what you just said? It would destroy you if you would kill him. Would destroy all that is good and kind and gentle in you. I see that it was a mistake to call you back to Hogwarts, but only because it brings all this hurt and pain to you."
Setha sighed, "So would you rather have me close my eyes to the things that I see clearly before me? I can't do that; no matter how much grief it brings to you, or me for that matter. Do you think I took pleasure in arresting Sirius? No. It tormented me for years. But I still did it, to save others. Only because you trust someone, Professor, I can't turn a blind eye. Your affections don't make a good person out of everyone..." her voice trailed off, heavy with emotions, emotions she didn't even know she had.
She was right, Dumbledore knew that. But he was as well. It would break her. Her fragile soul would be utterly destroyed. "Find me evidence, evidence that even I can't ignore." His eyes were fixed on her, almost burning her. She only nodded silently. She felt his words echoed by a voice inside of her. Her mind in confusion, still unable and unwilling to accept the truth of the headmaster's words. Slowly she turned her head to Fawkes, who was still sitting on her shoulder. "See you my friend." The phoenix spread his wings and flew over to his master. "Professor, you shall get your evidence, your proof that what I say is right." With that she turned and walked out of the office, forcing herself to ignore the cry of her heart, 'It can't be true...'
