(Corresponding fic to Green to Silver (The Journal of Draco Malfoy). It is not a sequel. It simply retells G to S through a different POV and clears a few things up that were left untied in Draco's journal.)

AN: I'm so sorry about the delayed chapter. FF.net put me on probation and well, I'm off now *^^* 3 bunny-kuo

*~ Entry 4 ~*

Dear Diary,

It amazes me how much can change within the time frame of a week. There's something incredibly different within me now and I can't quite put my finger on it. I just know that it has to do with the prince of Slytherin. My prince of Slytherin.

Dumbledore dragged me up to his office to inform Malfoy of recent circumstances, or rather, of my recent heroic endeavors. Malfoy hadn't seemed very comfortable listening to Snape and Dumbledore talk; he kept squirming in his seat, his face a ghastly shade of white. His ears, were tinged pink with shame, when he was told that they had read his journal. His knuckles gripped the edge of the chair as though it were his life substance. I kept my gaze trained on him, scrutinizing him. I felt pity for him, and some other strange emotion that I don't feel like thinking about.

He left, tail between his legs, still with natural and graceful poise, though his reputation had been ruined from the whispers that frequent the hall. His silver blonde hair gleamed beautifully, the light dancing off of it. His skin looked creamy and smooth, as if had not so recently been marred. I wanted to reach out and touch him.

My heart had speeded up when I looked at his retreating form. He looked so vulnerable. I wanted to protect him and hold him in my arms comforting him all night. I wanted to look into those silver eyes, flecked with blue and gold all night long and then into the morning I wanted to wake up with his small frame in my arms. I wanted him. I wanted Draco Malfoy. And my heart and mind seemed to both agree on this fact, though for some reason I myself did not.

I couldn't want Draco Malfoy. I didn't like Draco Malfoy, and I certainly had no other feelings for him beside contempt and perhaps pity. He wouldn't want my pity though. He wanted something else from me. Something that I couldn't give him. Something that I wouldn't give him. But something that I wanted to give him.

The obvious thing would probably have been to succumb to my newfound feelings and desires and snog the boy into the tomorrow, but I didn't. I did the stupidest thing that I've ever done in my life which really says something. After wandering the dark corridors in blank thought, I made my way to the Prefects Corridor. I easily found Malfoy's room as it had a Head Boy plaque resting on the door.

No. I wasn't planning on molesting him in his room though I wanted to quickly change my plan into something of the sorts. Instead, I was planning on doing quite the opposite. I unlocked his room with a complicated un-locking spell and dragged the unsuspecting boy out into the empty passageway that led to his room.

His face flashed various emotions when he saw me. Love, confusion, hope, love, pain, love. He had looked eagerly into my eyes as if expecting me to do something or say something to take away his agony.

When I finally spoke, I hoped my voice wouldn't shake. It didn't, but I could feel myself trembling as I did. My voice came out husky. "Malfoy, I know how you feel about me."

The world stopped as he gazed expectantly at me with his eyes. His lips that I could never claim for my own twitched into a small smile as he waited.

Oh Draco.

"But, I wanted to. Needed to, let you know that I don't um, feel the same way," my tongue tasted bitter like metal as I spoke.

"Hell. I'm not even gay." But perhaps I was.

"And maybe one day we can be friends," I want to be more than friends with you Draco, "but for now, i just needed to tell you that i could never reciprocate your feelings. I don't even like you, and could much less even love you. I'm sorry." I'm more sorry than you could ever know, Malfoy.

His face fell as he closed his eyes. I'm glad he did because my own eyes betrayed everything I had just said. If had left his eyes open he would have seen the pain my words caused. He would have noticed the love and lust that shone in my eyes. He looked so broken as he collapsed in the hallway, no trace of that arrogant bastard that I hated left in him. My heart wrenched as he sobbed against the stone walls, clutching himself, his world falling around him once again.

I could feel his pain. To have that one person be so close yet so far away. I couldn't be with him. I had to do what I did. It was my duty. I was with Ginny now, and just because someone else that makes my heart beat ten times faster just be looking through his long lowered lashes at me comes along does not mean that I can abandon her.

I realize that at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. That Draco Malfoy would pass out of my thoughts after I left him there. That I didn't need him as much as I thought I did. I realize now that I am wrong.

I need Draco Malfoy like I need air. He completes me. He is everything that I'm not and I love him for it. I don't know when this revelation occurred, or if it was always there, but Malfoy had become some sort of constant in my life. Without him I am nothing.

Right now I am nothing. I am nothing but a stupid boy who just let the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me walk away, leaving it in the dark.

I don't know if I can ever have Malfoy. I don't think I even deserve him. I wish that I could just have one moment with him, all to myself. Without the worry or pressure of life. To be in our own little world, him and I. Together.

But we can't be together, no matter how much I want it. It's something that will always be out of my reach.

In case I never get to say it. I love you Draco Malfoy.

Love, Harry Potter

~TBC~

Please R/R. Muchos thanks to all reviewers. Again, I apologize for the long wait. Next chapter should definitely be out soon. Have a happy holiday!