(Corresponding fic to Green to Silver (The Journal of Draco Malfoy). It is not a sequel. It simply retells G to S through a different POV and clears a few things up that were left untied in Draco's journal.)

AN: Chappie 5 up XD. I'm off to vacation and won't be back for a week, but chappie 6 will be up immediately. *^^* 3 bunny-kuo

*~ Entry 5 ~*

Dear Diary,

I kissed Ginny today in the corridors. Malfoy saw. I felt as though I were cheating on him rather than betraying Ginny with my perverse fantasies about Malfoy. Ginny doesn't matter to me anymore. Whenever she leans in for a kiss, I close my eyes and imagine that it's my silver-eyed Adonis, with soft lips that taste of flowers, and skin as cold as ice. It's the only way I am able to be with Ginny. It's the only way that I can appease her with my lips. I must pretend as if I were some actor on a stage. I live in a castle in the sky now, in a world of surrealism. I've lost my grip on reality. Here in my dreams, it is just Draco and I.

Draco. Draco and his hair fluttering softly in the breeze as he beckons me to him, licking his lips as I gaze lovingly into his eyes, that once were cold but now danced with warmth and of love for me. I run my fingers through his feather hair and slide my hands down his back as he moans into my mouth. I lose myself in him as he begs for entrance in my mouth, his velvet tongue tracing intricate patterns on my lips. It is perfection and time stops just for us.

It is perfection until I open my eyes. When I open my eyes, my angel disappears and is replaced by some red-haired woman with too much lipgloss and mascara. Round innocent eyes are replaced with small red eyes caked with glitter, and perfect skin disappears into powder. My fingers feel sticky with hairspray. I try not to groan in disgust.

In the corridors, I pretended Ginny was Draco. And then when I opened my eyes, there he was. Staring at me blankly. He looked so delicious just staring at me. I wanted to run into his arms and kiss his eyelashes. Kiss his cheeks. Just kiss him. I wanted to do things to him that would make even Ginny blush even redder underneath all that make-up. I wanted to love him all night.

I don't know why, but a tight ache began to form in my chest. I felt sad. And alone. I wanted to take Draco's love for me and give it back to him in variously creative ways. I felt pitiful and weak.

I looked at him with pity and sorrow. Sorrow that he could never be mine, that he could never understand why I couldn't be with him. What would people think? What would people say?

I love him so much. But I can't and I shouldn't. Perhaps I don't love him. Perhaps, my mind is just convincing me to love him to feel guilty of all the wrong I've done him. Perhaps-no. I do love him.

I'm a fucking coward for not showing it. Harry Potter, hero of the Wizarding World is a fucking coward.

They say admittance is the first step to recovery.

Love, Harry Potter

~TBC~

Please R/R. Muchos thanks to all reviewers. Ooo.and tis Christmas Eve. Have a merry Christmas if you celebrate. If not, then have a happy new year!

Endnotes: Short chappie, but not much happened in this scene except for Draco's spiritual enlightenment high thing. Oh well. Harry will do something soonish. His diary's so frustrating to write, because Harry is stupid. For a while. Hee (I finally have a reason to support why I titled the fic what I did). Whoo! Again, happy holidays!