Gaaaaaah! Haven't updated this fic in months. I really have no excuse this time. Really. I don't. Damn. Hope the next chappie is worth it? And hopefully Chapter 8 will be out tomorrow as I am on Spring Holidays.

SO MUCH THANKS TO THOSE THAT REVIEWED! I sincerely apologize profusely to my readers ::grovels a bit::

3 bunny

ENTRY #7 -----------

Dear Diary,

It's a quite disconcerting feeling to be making bedroom eyes over at the empty space where Draco Bloody Malfoy usually sits in the mornings just willing for him to come along. Even more disconcerting is making said eyes whilst the atmosphere settling in around you has an unmistakable darkened tone of what Ronald Weasley would love to do to Malfoy's private bits with a chainsaw if he ever had the chance or knew what a chainsaw was. Took me a while to realize Ron was not trying to be kinky but trying to be a trademark Weasley of vengeance.

When Malfoy sauntered in, the entire Great Hall hissed at him simultaneously and sank into a dangerous silence. I almost expected him to run out screaming just by the petrifying stares those Hufflepuffs were giving him, but he glided over to his usual spot to pick and finick over his toast.

God. How I loved his Completely-Without-A- Doubt-Utter-Bastard look. The intensity of his eyes, his poise. My heart beats rapid against my chest and suddenly my pants feel a little too tight.

If I ever had a mother she might have told me that tight pants cause a man to do crazy things.

It all started when that manly beast of a girl, Parkinson launched herself at Malfoy, practically mauling him. Why is she of all people allowed to touch him and rub him in ways that I cannot? I'm more woman than her if anything. Stupid bint.

I was glaring at her with laser-like precision, when suddenly a massive attack of red hair and freckles blocked my way. Oh. Ron.

Frozen to the ground, I could only watch as Ron castrated Draco violently with his words. I winced myself, twitching and fidgeting this way and that as I listened to Ron accuse, threaten, and scream other volatile obscenities at Draco.

".Put your dirty, filthy ferret claws on something so pure." It was an honest mistake that my mind immediately jumped to the idea that yes, Dirty Ginny Weasley put her dirty, filthy hands on my Draco who was so white, so silver, and so pure.

"What makes you even think that i would want to put my dirty, filthy "ferret claws" on that thing you call your sister. On that whore?" Oh. So perhaps Ron was referring to Draco as dirty. Silly really, as Draco looks so squeaky clean. He probably even washes behind his ears, and right underneath the sensitive spot beneath his earlobe. . .

Some idiot Hufflepuff suddenly stands up and shouts, "Then why'd you kiss her?!" Wanker. Always knew there was a reason why Hufflepuffs were so annoying.

"I did NOT kiss her! I never would want to, never will, and has anyone ever stopped to think that i was the victim in this?! That MY personal space was invaded?" I wanted to run up to my Draco and cuddle him right then and there. He looked so pathetic and lost and lonely and oh. He looked so cute when he was upset, a contrast to the sexy Slytherin Bastard look he oh-so- often had.

"Well, if you hadn't noticed the disgustingly, garishly painted face of hers, you might notice that she wouldn't WANT Harry fucking Potter, being the little whore that she is." What? What's wrong with me now? Who doesn't want me? Does Draco not want me anymore? I felt a frantically desperate pout coming on and tried to suppress it.

Seamus stands up. Seamus always has something intelligent to say. "What about you then eh? You've stuck your tongue and various other things in more places that anyone can count!" Ah. Or perhaps not. Silly sentence when coming from the mouth of the Gryffindor Slut himself.

I decided to stand up now. I attempted to tell the Great Hall what a dirty filthy cheat Ginny was and what a cute little face Draco had and how sweet he looked when flushed, but I think they might have gotten it wrong. From the looks on the faces of my dorm mates they seemed to think I was attempting to tell the hall what a dirty filthy cheat Draco was and what a cute little face Ginny had and how sweet she looked when flushed. Humph.

I shouted a bit more and then realized all further actions were futile when I finally noticed the pained but resolute look in Draco's eyes. I blinked a little as he came closer and closer to me.

Eeep. What was he going to do? I reconsider my previous thoughts. I hate Draco Malfoy! I'm not gay! I hate Draco Malfoy. Really. What? What?!

"I DID NOT KISS THAT LITTLE WHORE! WHY WOULD I?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE GIRLS! AND YOU, POTTER, SHOULD KNOW EXTREMELY WELL WHO THE HELL I WOULD FANCY KISSING." And with that, he took a few more forceful strides and pulled me in and clamped his mouth over mine.

Eeeeeeep.

I. Am. So. Not. Gay.

Ungracefully, I shoved Draco out of the way. Why did he have to kiss me in the Great Hall? Nonononono.

I turned away hoping he didn't see the blush creeping on to my cheeks as I tried to push the soft feel of his tongue upon my lips from my mind.

And then Ron punches him. Damn Ron. I look back only to see Draco sweep out of the hall.

This is all so wrong. It isn't supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to bloody like it when Draco Malfoy kisses me. And I do, why do I have to keep pushing him further and further away, taking for granted that always, when I least expect it, Draco will kiss me and sweep me away once again?

What if he stops whatever this is he feels for me one day? What if one day I walk in on him really kissing Ginny because he wanted to? And I love him. I really do. But he must love me more if he's willing to tell the world while I hide hanging by a thread in my enclosed closet space.

Bravo Harry Potter Bravo. You really do know how to screw things up and over don't you, when you really should be screwing a certain someone up and around the arse?

I'm sitting now staring out at the stars. I'd seen Draco only one other time today and he walked by me without so much as a scathing glance or otherwise.

Maybe he really doesn't love me anymore. Maybe, the world shifted back into a mode of normality and Draco now hates me. But the world hasn't shifted at all, because now I love Draco and the only thing I want to do now is run my hands through his hair and tell him how sorry I am and how much I love him.

It's all something I should have done a long time ago.

Because I. Harry James Potter AM gay and I, Harry James Potter AM in love with Draco Malfoy and woe betide anyone who stands in my way. . .for I am about to brush my hair before I run to go woo Draco Malfoy back into my embrace.

And I promise myself that I won't push him away this time, and hopefully it wouldn't be the other way around.

-Harry Potter

~TBC~

Endnotes: Agh. Haven't written in a long time. Feel all squeaky and rusty. Review or e-mail me to tell me what you think? Heh. ::sheepish::

Again. Muchos thanks to all my reviewers. I loff you all. (I promise to get a huge thank you section out again soonly. Really. ^.~)