~AAANDDDD HERE'S THE SECOND CHAPTER! I'm in a pretty good mood right now, listening to the Spongebob Squarepants theme for an half 'n hour! In this chapter, you'll find out how Harry got his scar, how sexy Draco is and some more stuff I just think of at the moment I'm writing it! Just shut up and read!~





Harry, Ron, Hermoine, George, Fred, Percy, *A/N why so many..* Ginny, Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley arrive on platform 9 and 10.

Harry: Uhh I forgot, how do we get on platform 9 ¾???

********* RON HAS FLASHBACK************

Harry: How are we supposed to get on platform 9 ¾?

Ron: Hmm.. Just walk right into that brick wall over there!

Harry: Oh OK! *runs right into the brick wall* Ahh!!! My face.. it's.. BLEEDING!! AHH!!

(after 15 minutes of bleeding)

Ron: Hey you got a scar on your ugly head! Wow! You're cool now!

********* EXIT FLASHBACK************

Ron: Just walk straight into that brick wall there!

Harry: Ok! * runs into the brick wall* AHHH!! *starts crying*

Ron: HAHAHAHAHA!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT ONE AGAIN!! HAHAHA YOU'RE SUCH A MORON!!!

Hermoine: It's right over there!

Harry: *bleeding very badly* Does anyone has a tissue?

Everyone: NOT FOR YOU! NOW SHUT UP!

Harry: *whimpers*

Mrs. Weasley: Now, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny, Percy, (whispers to Mr. Weasley 'WHY did we take so many damn kids?!!') be good this year! Bye bye and have fun and stuff like that!!

All them damn kids: BYE!!! BYEEE!! SEE YOU IN THE SUMMER, UGLY BITCH!! BYEEE!!!



***********Train drives away************

Because Ron, Hermoine and Harry are such arrogant brats, they walk around to find a compartment their own. They finally find one and sit down.

Harry: O MY GOD!! I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT SO VERY BADLY!!

Hermoine: Thanks for the announcing..

Harry: No problem! *walks around the train to find a toilet and comes into an almost empty compartment and sees that Draco is the only one in it * Hey Draco!

Draco: It's me.. DRACO MALFOY!!!! * Spongebob Squarepants theme starts playing*

Harry: And I am.. HARRY POTTER!!! ....why don't I have fancy music everytime someone mentions me?!!!

Draco: You're not sexy enough. Talking about sexy, haven't you seen the sign on the door?!!! You're NOT supposed to be here! It's illegal! Just wait till Father hears about this..

Harry: What si-* Sees superlarge sign on the door saying 'ONLY SEXY PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED IN THIS COMPARTMEMT!!!'* You mean YOU'RE the only sexy person on Hogwarts?

Draco: Yes.

Harry: True, true..

Suddenly, hundreds of penguins pop up outta nowhere and start screaming 'WAAZZZAAAAAHHH!!'

Harry: Sittin' the train, eating some Chocolatefrogs.. 'Sup with you?

Draco: None. Sittin' the train, being sexy.

All the penguins: TRUE, TRUE!!

Penguins disappear.

Draco & Harry: Well that was.. odd...

Draco: Anyway, fuck off! You're not sexy enough.

Harry: Wrong-o! *starts singing* I'm too sexy for this compartment, so sexy it huuurts..

Draco: *kicks Harry out of his sexy place* The only thing you're too sexy for, is Neville's toad!

Harry: ..Well.. at least.. it's.. SOMETHING I'M TOO SEXY FOR!!

**** Kermit the Frog voice: Our 'hero's' have finally arrived at Hogwarts! They have their very first lesson of the year in about a minute 'Defence Against the Dark Arts' from the brand new Prof. Lockhart!****

Lockhart enters the room, rather nervously: He.. Hello.. Kids.. I.. I'm.. Prof.. Loc.. Lock.. Lockhart.. A.. And.. I will.. Tea.. teach.. you.. DADA.. this.. yea.. year..

Harry: *rolls eyes* Another one that stutters.

Lockhart: I.. I'm.. so.. sorry.. I.. am.. no.. not.. u.. used.. to.. spe.. speak.. in fro.. front.. o.. of.. so.. ma.. many.. pe.. peop.. people!

Hermoine: *raises hand*

Lockhart: Ye.. yes.. Mi.. Miss.. Gra.. Granger?

Hermoine: I thought you are THE Gilderoy Lockhart! The man who made all those great books and talks about himself 24/7?

Lockhart: No.. No.. Tha.. that's.. my.. bro.. bro. twin.

Whole class: Oh.. Ok..

****** Some days later *******

Snape: POTTER! You're coming with me! *winks*

Harry: (To Ron and Hermoine) Oh God.. I'm dead meat...

Snape: You have to buy me a.. SHRUBBERY!!

Harry: AHHH!! NOT A SHRUBBERY!!! Wait a minute.. This isn't the Holy Grail you know!

Snape: It isn't? Hmm.. than you shall... oh fuck it, I just wanted to have some fun... *sulks into a dark corner and loud sobs can be heard*

Everyone: OH SEVERUS! DON'T BE SAD! YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU!!!

Harry: Uh.. what about ME?

Everyone: *walks away*

Harry: You know, I can have trauma's from this!! No one loves me.. *starts crying and looks around if anyone cares* I'm so depressed. *peeks around again and notices than no one cares* I'm not cool anymore... *starts crying again and runs into a bathroom*



Another chapter is done.. I'm sorry folks! I just can't think of anything else... I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think of it! If you have any insaaaneeeee ideas of how it should continue, please tell me! *bursts into a crab* Damn... I should see a doctor for that...