Alucard, Seras, and a Stolen Telephone
Author's Notes: I had a feeling that the majority would say Iscariot! ^_^ In any case I'd like to thank all my reviewers and say I'm sorry if I put this off for a while. I took all the suggestions in the reviews under consideration and I'm thinking them all through in my disturbed little head. Be sure to keep telling me what you want to see next though! Ja ne!
Chapter 2: The Voice of God.. or something close to that effect...
Alucard continued cackling like a madman as Seras sweat-dropped. She had known her master was a little bit on the deranged side.. but this was just weird.
"Police girl! Who should we call next?"
"I.. I don't know Master.. I don't know any other phone numbers really."
"Hmm... I can solve this problem. Give me a moment, police girl. I should be back in a moment."
With that the No-Life-King sank into the ground, still chuckling to himself. Once certain her master had left, Seras stepped out of her master's room and began walking back to her room. Hopefully seeing her no longer there would stop this insanity.
~~~
Integra Hellsing took a long drag from her cigar as she leaned back in her chair. She had called Walter up and had him bring a new phone for her, which he gladly obliged to, but then he stated he would be going out and that he might not be back for a while. Integra merely let her friend go; after all she wasn't his keeper. Finally she could call in these reports and get some much-needed rest. She opened her bottom drawer and reached in to find her address book, only to discover that it too was now gone. She bit clear through her cigar, growling fiercely as she stood up and stormed out of her room. She pulled her gun from her jacket as she headed to the basement of Hellsing, where Alucard had surely taken her address book.
~~~
Alucard reappeared into his room, Integra's address book in her hand as he grinned madly. He looked around, discovering that the police girl had left. He smirked as he phased out of existence for a moment, only to reappear a moment later with a kicking Seras under his arm.
"Master! Put me down!"
"Calm down, police girl! We're just going to have a bit of fun! It won't hurt anybody!"
He plopped the undead girl into a chair and laughed as he began to flip through the address book.
"Doesn't that belong to Sir Integra?! She'll be so upset to find you looking through her things, master!"
"Don't worry yourself over it, police girl. I've gone through more of her things than this!"
Alucard laughed as Seras pondered what exactly he meant by that. Alucard took his hat off his head and placed it onto Seras' head as he found the number he was searching for.
"Here we go, police girl! This will do perfectly!"
Seras glanced out from under the giant hat on her head to see the number that her master was pointing at. Her eyes widened at what she saw.
"Master! You can't be serious! Iscariot Division 13?! As in Father Anderson?!"
"Don't worry about it, police girl. It's not like he'll know it's us!"
Alucard picked up the phone and began dialing the number listed. It rang twice before someone finally picked up.
~~~
Enrico Maxwell glanced down at his desk as the phone continued to ring. Finally he grew frustrated of waiting and picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Please.. I need to speak with a priest..."
"You'll want to go in for confession then, my child. How did you get this num.."
"Please! I need to speak with a priest it is urgent!"
"Hmm..."
Maxwell looked across his table at Father Alexander Anderson, who was waiting for his next orders. Enrico handed the phone to Anderson sharply.
"They say they need to speak with a priest."
"Hello this is Father Alexander Anderson. How may I be of service, my child."
~~~
Alucard almost burst into laughter but instead motioned for Seras to come closer. He whispered something into her ear, to which she stumbled backwards, blushing fiercely and shaking her head. Alucard glared at her, causing her to stop before mouth "Do it, police girl." He brought the receiver back to his mouth before starting.
"Father Anderson? It's my daughter! I don't know what's come over her!"
~~~
Anderson raised in eyebrow curiously as he heard this man's problem.
"What is she doing that is so odd?"
"She's been having sexual activities outside of the holy sanctity of marriage!"
A voice suddenly came from the background.
"I'll have sex with who ever I want!"
"Stop talking crazy like that girl! You need to save yourself for marriage!"
Anderson was truly perplexed by this situation, but he still believed in chastity before marriage.
"Tell her that such actions are a sin in the eyes of god."
"I did, Father, I did! She don't wanna listen! You hear that? You'll burn in hell for these actions! The way you be dressing all slutty, swayin yer hips to every passing boy!"
"Daddy, I'm 14 and I can have sex when I want with whom I want!"
"14?!"
"I told ya, Father! She's been possessed by a demon! Couldn't you please come over and help meh? I'm begging you!"
"Of course. I need an address."
Anderson wrote down the given address on a piece of paper before handing the phone back to Maxwell, who hung it up.
"What was that about Father Anderson?"
"There is great sin afoot. I shall be going to handle this situation personally. You may give me my mission upon my return."
Anderson threw on his coat and left the office quickly, leaving behind a stunned Maxwell.
~~~
Alucard burst into fits of laughter as he hung up the phone.
"Oh that was rich indeed!"
Seras was blushing beet red as she timidly looked down at the ground.
"Master, I can't believe you made me do that! That was so embarrassing!"
"You did well, police girl! You even added in that part about being 14! Your training is going well so far."
Seras blushed further at the compliment and smiled.
"Thank you, master."
Alucard was already back at the address book, deciding upon whom they would call next when a sound echoed throughout the room. Alucard perked his head at what he thought was the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Seras was trying to look around to find exactly where the sound of the cats fighting was coming from.
"ALLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCARRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDD!!!!!"
Several gunshots echoed through the room as Integra stormed down the stairs to the No-Life-King's room. Alucard frowned as Seras began to panic.
"Aww this ruins all my fun.. time to go, police girl!"
Alucard grabbed Seras and was about to teleport away when Integra kicked open the door to the room, her gun aimed for Alucard's head.
~~~
Meanwhile, outside the Hellsing manor...
Walter stood at the gates, holding himself against the cold wind that was going through tonight. He barely even noticed when Pip popped up next to him.
"What're you doing Walter?"
"Waiting..."
"Waitin for what?"
"The Matrix..."
"Oh... can I join ya?"
"Sure."
"Rock on."
~~~~~~
Author's Notes: Well Pip is now waiting with Walter while Alucard and Seras run from the law! Come and check out what happens next time on the Dukes of Hellsing! Ya'll come back now, ya hear!
Author's Notes: I had a feeling that the majority would say Iscariot! ^_^ In any case I'd like to thank all my reviewers and say I'm sorry if I put this off for a while. I took all the suggestions in the reviews under consideration and I'm thinking them all through in my disturbed little head. Be sure to keep telling me what you want to see next though! Ja ne!
Chapter 2: The Voice of God.. or something close to that effect...
Alucard continued cackling like a madman as Seras sweat-dropped. She had known her master was a little bit on the deranged side.. but this was just weird.
"Police girl! Who should we call next?"
"I.. I don't know Master.. I don't know any other phone numbers really."
"Hmm... I can solve this problem. Give me a moment, police girl. I should be back in a moment."
With that the No-Life-King sank into the ground, still chuckling to himself. Once certain her master had left, Seras stepped out of her master's room and began walking back to her room. Hopefully seeing her no longer there would stop this insanity.
~~~
Integra Hellsing took a long drag from her cigar as she leaned back in her chair. She had called Walter up and had him bring a new phone for her, which he gladly obliged to, but then he stated he would be going out and that he might not be back for a while. Integra merely let her friend go; after all she wasn't his keeper. Finally she could call in these reports and get some much-needed rest. She opened her bottom drawer and reached in to find her address book, only to discover that it too was now gone. She bit clear through her cigar, growling fiercely as she stood up and stormed out of her room. She pulled her gun from her jacket as she headed to the basement of Hellsing, where Alucard had surely taken her address book.
~~~
Alucard reappeared into his room, Integra's address book in her hand as he grinned madly. He looked around, discovering that the police girl had left. He smirked as he phased out of existence for a moment, only to reappear a moment later with a kicking Seras under his arm.
"Master! Put me down!"
"Calm down, police girl! We're just going to have a bit of fun! It won't hurt anybody!"
He plopped the undead girl into a chair and laughed as he began to flip through the address book.
"Doesn't that belong to Sir Integra?! She'll be so upset to find you looking through her things, master!"
"Don't worry yourself over it, police girl. I've gone through more of her things than this!"
Alucard laughed as Seras pondered what exactly he meant by that. Alucard took his hat off his head and placed it onto Seras' head as he found the number he was searching for.
"Here we go, police girl! This will do perfectly!"
Seras glanced out from under the giant hat on her head to see the number that her master was pointing at. Her eyes widened at what she saw.
"Master! You can't be serious! Iscariot Division 13?! As in Father Anderson?!"
"Don't worry about it, police girl. It's not like he'll know it's us!"
Alucard picked up the phone and began dialing the number listed. It rang twice before someone finally picked up.
~~~
Enrico Maxwell glanced down at his desk as the phone continued to ring. Finally he grew frustrated of waiting and picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Please.. I need to speak with a priest..."
"You'll want to go in for confession then, my child. How did you get this num.."
"Please! I need to speak with a priest it is urgent!"
"Hmm..."
Maxwell looked across his table at Father Alexander Anderson, who was waiting for his next orders. Enrico handed the phone to Anderson sharply.
"They say they need to speak with a priest."
"Hello this is Father Alexander Anderson. How may I be of service, my child."
~~~
Alucard almost burst into laughter but instead motioned for Seras to come closer. He whispered something into her ear, to which she stumbled backwards, blushing fiercely and shaking her head. Alucard glared at her, causing her to stop before mouth "Do it, police girl." He brought the receiver back to his mouth before starting.
"Father Anderson? It's my daughter! I don't know what's come over her!"
~~~
Anderson raised in eyebrow curiously as he heard this man's problem.
"What is she doing that is so odd?"
"She's been having sexual activities outside of the holy sanctity of marriage!"
A voice suddenly came from the background.
"I'll have sex with who ever I want!"
"Stop talking crazy like that girl! You need to save yourself for marriage!"
Anderson was truly perplexed by this situation, but he still believed in chastity before marriage.
"Tell her that such actions are a sin in the eyes of god."
"I did, Father, I did! She don't wanna listen! You hear that? You'll burn in hell for these actions! The way you be dressing all slutty, swayin yer hips to every passing boy!"
"Daddy, I'm 14 and I can have sex when I want with whom I want!"
"14?!"
"I told ya, Father! She's been possessed by a demon! Couldn't you please come over and help meh? I'm begging you!"
"Of course. I need an address."
Anderson wrote down the given address on a piece of paper before handing the phone back to Maxwell, who hung it up.
"What was that about Father Anderson?"
"There is great sin afoot. I shall be going to handle this situation personally. You may give me my mission upon my return."
Anderson threw on his coat and left the office quickly, leaving behind a stunned Maxwell.
~~~
Alucard burst into fits of laughter as he hung up the phone.
"Oh that was rich indeed!"
Seras was blushing beet red as she timidly looked down at the ground.
"Master, I can't believe you made me do that! That was so embarrassing!"
"You did well, police girl! You even added in that part about being 14! Your training is going well so far."
Seras blushed further at the compliment and smiled.
"Thank you, master."
Alucard was already back at the address book, deciding upon whom they would call next when a sound echoed throughout the room. Alucard perked his head at what he thought was the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Seras was trying to look around to find exactly where the sound of the cats fighting was coming from.
"ALLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCARRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDD!!!!!"
Several gunshots echoed through the room as Integra stormed down the stairs to the No-Life-King's room. Alucard frowned as Seras began to panic.
"Aww this ruins all my fun.. time to go, police girl!"
Alucard grabbed Seras and was about to teleport away when Integra kicked open the door to the room, her gun aimed for Alucard's head.
~~~
Meanwhile, outside the Hellsing manor...
Walter stood at the gates, holding himself against the cold wind that was going through tonight. He barely even noticed when Pip popped up next to him.
"What're you doing Walter?"
"Waiting..."
"Waitin for what?"
"The Matrix..."
"Oh... can I join ya?"
"Sure."
"Rock on."
~~~~~~
Author's Notes: Well Pip is now waiting with Walter while Alucard and Seras run from the law! Come and check out what happens next time on the Dukes of Hellsing! Ya'll come back now, ya hear!
