Chapter 10-Sakura
There was that first night, and following that, every night was the same. On that first night I was in a meadow. That meadow belonged to a paradise land. I wandered at first around the beautiful meadow and the trees surrounding it. Then I found him. Jingxi was standing at the edge of a cliff. Was he going to jump?
Syaoran suddenly turned around.
" Konbonwa, Sakura-chan." He smiled. " You've come into my dream."
" This is yours?" I asked, bewildered. I noticed that his eyes were amber and he had
just spoken.
" Hai." Syaoran looked out over the dark plains and oceans. " This is my paradise. I
was hoping you would come."
I moved up to him and placed my hand on his arm. He closed his eyes and smiled.
" Don't worry, Sakura, I'm real." He said. " This dream is real too, as real as you
want it to be."
" Wow," Was I can say. " Did you make this yourself?"
" Iie. That's what makes it so interesting." Syaoran answered. " The Dead granted
me this environment. Apparently they granted you this privilege too. Come, let us
explore."
We headed down the cliff. It was not steep, and there were rocks and footholds deep enough so I had no fear of falling. Syaoran seemed strong, and he hopped down, catching me as I did, and we headed towards the beach across the plains.
We walked hand in hand across the mossy grass. The true grass were sharp, but the grass here were like wet moss, soft and fluffy like fur.
We walked hand in hand towards the beach. As we neared it Syaoran stopped. We sat down on the sand and watched as the waves hit the shore.
" Look," Syaoran pointed. I looked. It was a seagull. Suddenly, following it were many seagulls. Syaoran threw something at them. The seagull picked it up with its beak and swallowed. I saw that Jingxi had a lot of bread with him. He gave some to me.
For a time we fed the seagulls until the bread was finished. Syaoran gestured
to me and we started walking along the beach.
" Look, there's a cave!" Syaoran said to me, and we started running. The running
didn't take a lot of energy and when we got there we weren't panting at all. Syaoran
lit a torch that came out of nowhere and we walked inside without any fear.
Inside was dazzling. Covered with gems, the cave looked like a magnificent shelter of jewels. We walked among the jewels and Syaoran took a pink and large one, then gave it to me. It was flat and round.
We came out and saw before us a temple. We climbed the steps and went in for a look around. There were so many things in it, scrolls, paintings, murals. Then I asked Syaoran.
" Is there anyone else here?"
" We are the only humans." He answered. " The others do not have this blessing.
Not even Otou-san."
I smiled. This is even better than a date.
We passed out of the huge temple and went into the woods surrounding it. A doe and a fawn raised their heads at us.
" Come, let's go over." Syaoran smiled. So we did.
The fawn's coat was soft and it was giddy and light. It danced around us in a joy that can never be seen. The mother nuzzled Syaoran affectionately. We played with them for a long while.
" What happens when you wake?" I asked.
" I become blind." Syaoran answered. " Deaf, and mute."
" Why do you still come here?"
" Comfort."
" Doesn't that make waking more unbearable?" I asked.
" Things could be worse. And will be." Syaoran answered.
" What do you mean?"
" The dead were kind. But they have little power."
I stared off into the dimming sky, as the sun set.
" Morning is coming. We should wake."
" Do you want to?" I asked.
" Not yet." Syaoran looked at me. " You're beautiful, Sakura. I want to see you for
as long as I can. There will be a time when I can no longer see you. I want to
remember."
He reached out a hand and stroked my cheek. We looked over at the horizon.
" I have school."
" It is still early. We still have a couple of hours." He answered.
I felt the wind blow at my hair.
" I like it long." Syaoran smiled tenderly, then began braiding it into a long, single ponytail. " It gives you a look of grace, like Tomoyo."
I remained silent.
" Why do you not speak?" Syaoran asked, still braiding. I did not answer.
Syaoran stopped. He slowly let go.
" When the end comes," He began, and his words were dark, like a warning, " You will have many words you cannot say."
After that, I met Syaoran in every dream. Sometimes we were at the park
with no one else there. Sometimes we were playing with dolphins. But always alone.
It was a dream, at any rate. I could always find people to talk with in the waking world. Syaoran seemed content to just stay with me. I felt the same.
But he always talked as if the end was coming. That there will be an end, and soon. What was he trying to get me to say? I did not know. All I know was I loved him and he loved me.
" But simply loving is not enough." Syaoran said. " Love can be just as empty as words."
Every night. Always dark words. Words filled with a darkness I could not understand. One dream I yelled at Syaoran.
" You keep offering me clues!" I cried. " But you never talk to me directly
anymore!"
" Things have changed, Sakura." He said. " Do not fret. Do not ponder on the
future. The future is black."
I was so angry. I was so so angry, that one day I went straight to Yukito's
home, and in front of the father and son I threw the jade with all my might on the
hard floor.
It should have shattered. Jade is a fragile stone. But iie, it remained intact, as if nothing had ever happened to it. Syaoran found it with his blindness and picked it up. Without any expression he held it out to me.
" Sakura." Yukito began. " It isn't his fault things are this way. The least you could do is to accept whatever he gives you. That jade has a meaning."
I started to cry. I was so tired of all this despair. I wanted people to laugh and shout like that time during the Chinese New Year. I did not take the jade. I ran from the house, too ashamed to face Syaoran any longer. I was so tired of hoping for something that was hopeless. It takes so much energy to believe.
But when I got home the jade piece was on the table next to my bed, and Kero was sitting beside it.
