Star Wars Summer School Chapter Seven
Disclaimer: Darn I hate you people. Do you know how many reviews I got for the last chapter? TWO! Do you know how many individual people reviewed my story? FIVE!! (Thankies Chinow, AnakinandPadmeSkywalker, Darth_Padme, Med-Jai ferret and Child_Of_The_Light, my computer now suggests your names when I misspell something on spell check ;) And Darth_Padme doesn't count because I badgered her in real life until I got far to annoying to say no to. Hey, I bet I could get darth-minime-evil to review me if I screamed at him too... Hm... Do you think that Chris would review me if I kicked him hard enough and promised to stop whispering, 'Don't let Jango disintegrate us' whenever his dad gets angry? (It is SO true though. His dad looks like Temuera Morrison. Scary, but cool.) *sniff* Nobody loves me...
Boba: Uh... Hey, look, it's a Smirf!
SSJ V: Smirf !?! DIE SMIRF! *Smirf burps very loudly....and....uh....dies*
Boba: You TRIED to make that one an idiotic reminder of your IQ, didn't you?
SSJ V: No, if I wanted to do that, he would have died like this: *Smirf walked into an em (Electromagnetic) field (only recently discovered by our friends in nerocartiology) that differs SO greatly then the one produced by his heart, that all of the ganglia, ( a group of neuron clustered together, mostly found in the brain, but spread out throughout various places in the body) are forced out of sync, henceforth sending messages to it's organs, glands, and other gooey anatomic bits to send incorrect enzymes, hormones, chemicals, etc., to the cells in the heart, then, fibrillating (pulsing spasmaticly) the heart stops, and Smirf dies. The End.
Boba: Congratulations, your a neurocardiologist who can't spell. Lest get on with the story.
SSJ V; Don't own it, don't sue.
**************************************************************************
"The key to a good humor story is keeping one or no people in character, and OOC ing the rest. A fairly popular example of this is having Episode two Obi Wan Kennobi only slightly out of character, whilst Anakin is a whiny brat, Padme is a wise cracking smart- wait, can't swear in front of you guys, Yoda is completely oblivious to everything, Mace is obsessed with a female child's toy/ activity, Jango is somewhat of a cliché villain who couldn't give a rat's behind, Boba is a hyperactive child genius who's never actually in the story for more than two lines, etc., etc., you get the picture. This is why your homework tonight will be to write something slightly DIFFERENT from that." Zam instructed, earning several groans. "But only three paragraphs."
//DOUBLE YES!!\\ SSJ V thought. This was awesome! If she were back at home, she would be doing that anyway!
"Now, I'm going to give you the rest of this class to work on your short stories. Although, to make this a FAR more difficult assignment, you have to write a humor story, whilst keeping EVERYONE in character." Zam announced, looking around at the astonished faces of the class. "With NO original characters, and ONLY the people from the Star Wars Universe."
SSJ V put down the pencil. NOW what the heck was she supposed to do. //WAIT, I'VE GOT IT! If they can't be out of character to begin with, then I'll just...\\
Obi Wan's Trip (Not Going To Be Pretty)
Obi Wan had had enough, this had gone to far! Anakin had once again snuck down to the lower levels of Corouscant to visit those low life, two timing, back stabbing scum of the Universe aliens. Of course Anakin called them 'misunderstood'. Bull fodder. What could Anakin possibly see in these 'people'? (and he used the term very loosely, ofcourse) Obi Wan mused to himself as he paced his room.
"Hey B?"
"Ya."
"Why would Obi Wan visit the lower levels of Corouscant?"
"... He saw a suspicious looking droid.."
"Hey, good idea!"
"Er, sure."
All of a sudden, Obi saw a suspicious looking droid hovering outside his window! Naturally, he jumped through it, trying to catch the flying atomiton, which turned out to be a bowling ball that Anakin had thrown off the roof. Obi Wan reminded himself to remove all heavy, sharp, flammable, or otherwise dangerous objects from Anakin's vicinity.
As he neared the ground, Obi Wan saw the only thing that could save his life! A giant, cookie shaped trampoline, surrounded by the galaxy's best sales people, girl scouts!
"Why would girl scouts be surrounding a giant trampoline?" Boba asked, looking over her shoulder.
"Because it was either that or Barney shaped aliens surrounding a dinosaur shaped crater filled with Jell-O." SSJ V answered, "And if I did that then I couldn't get this done in three or four paragraphs."
Obi Wan aimed himself at the trampoline, preparing for impact. He hit the springy surface, and bounced back up threw the window he came out of. "Thank the F-" He began, but was cut off another suspicious looking droid hovering outside the window.
"Ah, frick it." Obi exclaimed, climbing onto the couch and going to sleep.
The droid, in case you were wondering, teamed up with Godzilla, King Kong and the Power Rangers and became supreme overlord of the galaxy. THE END
"What do you think?" She asked her two friends, as they read over her story.
"What's the best you can get in an Earth rating system?" Boba asked.
"A +"
"The opposite of that."
"What he said." Leca agreed. "But it might get a bit better than mine."
"What's yours about?" SSJ V asked. Come on, there was no way that it was REALLY worse than hers.
"Once upon a time, there was a slave boy. He was born, he lived, he ruled the galaxy, he died. The End."
OK, so it was a BIT worse than hers.
"Doesn't it have to be three paragraphs?" SSJ V reminded her.
"Oh ya! OK, here it goes."
Once upon a time, there was a slave boy.
He was born, he lived, he got fried.
His son and his friends barbecued him.
The End
Dang, now it really WAS better than hers. "What's your about, B?"
"Why Ewoks should not be given guns, and other facts of the Universe." He read.
"Better than ours." SSJ V told him after a slightly awkward silence.
"Wow, SSJ V, I'm sure he feels so much better after that huge compliment." Leca rolled her eyes.
"I'm going to pretend for the moment that I have never heard of the word 'sarcasm' before in my life, hand this in, and hope for an F+." SSJ V left her seat, followed by her two friends, walking towards the front of the class room, hurriedly dumping the papers into the assignment box, and returning to their seats.
"Hey, guys, I just thought of something." Leca told them, turning in her seat to face them.
The both did their best, 'surprised' look, while Leca rolled her eyes and continued. "Now that we're in the Star Wars Universe, isn't it possible that our lives are just being written? That some author out there has our lives completely planned out (A/N only till third year so far! ;) and that we have no control over our own actions, and we're just puppets in someone else's hands?"
" I don't think so." SSJ V said thoughtfully. "This seems like the kind of story I would write, and I don't know many people who would focus a plot line around us anyway. Actually...." She continued, "maybe you." She pointed to Boba. "But not us. OH MY GOSH! What if we're only supplementary characters in some evil authors twisted mind, and they make us do horribly stupid things, and give us dumb phobias and give us detention with whiny teachers or- DWA! WE'RE A FAN FICTION!"
"No, your not." Zam told them, crossing her legs on her desk not looking up from whatever she was reading. "We have an anti-fan fiction force field surrounding the planet. Whoever is on the other side of it can not write a fan fiction about us." (A/N Wow, that sure worked well.)
As she finished speaking, the bell rang for fourth period. Fourth period, History of The Rebellion. Fourth period, with Darth Vader. As they left to find the classroom, SSJ V shared a glance with Boba.
//Darn. I really wanted to see what I had for fifth period too. \\
**************************************************************************
What shall happen in fourth period? What havoc will ensue this fait full class? Is Vegeta finally a super say-jin- Oops, wait, wrong story, sorry.
Sorry for the short (and fairly crappy) chapter. It's the last day of summer and I wanted to get one more out there before I have to wait 'till the weekend to write much more. (Mr. Rozzie, a.k.a. Mr. Pain In The Ass, gives us homework practically the first day, and lots of it, so the chapters may be coming out a bit slower now. I hope he's not reading this...)
Anywho, I can still do more characters, and Terry, you'll get a bigger part when we get to 'Rebel Serious' with Qui Gin Jinn. Actually, I'm planning to make all of you guys fairly large characters eventually.
By the way, Chinow, I like your death scene for anyone else who tries to get Wes. Hm, yes, very good....
And does anyone have an idea for male Padme fans yet? Er, ya. That's about it.
Lots O' Laughs,
B& SSJ V
Disclaimer: Darn I hate you people. Do you know how many reviews I got for the last chapter? TWO! Do you know how many individual people reviewed my story? FIVE!! (Thankies Chinow, AnakinandPadmeSkywalker, Darth_Padme, Med-Jai ferret and Child_Of_The_Light, my computer now suggests your names when I misspell something on spell check ;) And Darth_Padme doesn't count because I badgered her in real life until I got far to annoying to say no to. Hey, I bet I could get darth-minime-evil to review me if I screamed at him too... Hm... Do you think that Chris would review me if I kicked him hard enough and promised to stop whispering, 'Don't let Jango disintegrate us' whenever his dad gets angry? (It is SO true though. His dad looks like Temuera Morrison. Scary, but cool.) *sniff* Nobody loves me...
Boba: Uh... Hey, look, it's a Smirf!
SSJ V: Smirf !?! DIE SMIRF! *Smirf burps very loudly....and....uh....dies*
Boba: You TRIED to make that one an idiotic reminder of your IQ, didn't you?
SSJ V: No, if I wanted to do that, he would have died like this: *Smirf walked into an em (Electromagnetic) field (only recently discovered by our friends in nerocartiology) that differs SO greatly then the one produced by his heart, that all of the ganglia, ( a group of neuron clustered together, mostly found in the brain, but spread out throughout various places in the body) are forced out of sync, henceforth sending messages to it's organs, glands, and other gooey anatomic bits to send incorrect enzymes, hormones, chemicals, etc., to the cells in the heart, then, fibrillating (pulsing spasmaticly) the heart stops, and Smirf dies. The End.
Boba: Congratulations, your a neurocardiologist who can't spell. Lest get on with the story.
SSJ V; Don't own it, don't sue.
**************************************************************************
"The key to a good humor story is keeping one or no people in character, and OOC ing the rest. A fairly popular example of this is having Episode two Obi Wan Kennobi only slightly out of character, whilst Anakin is a whiny brat, Padme is a wise cracking smart- wait, can't swear in front of you guys, Yoda is completely oblivious to everything, Mace is obsessed with a female child's toy/ activity, Jango is somewhat of a cliché villain who couldn't give a rat's behind, Boba is a hyperactive child genius who's never actually in the story for more than two lines, etc., etc., you get the picture. This is why your homework tonight will be to write something slightly DIFFERENT from that." Zam instructed, earning several groans. "But only three paragraphs."
//DOUBLE YES!!\\ SSJ V thought. This was awesome! If she were back at home, she would be doing that anyway!
"Now, I'm going to give you the rest of this class to work on your short stories. Although, to make this a FAR more difficult assignment, you have to write a humor story, whilst keeping EVERYONE in character." Zam announced, looking around at the astonished faces of the class. "With NO original characters, and ONLY the people from the Star Wars Universe."
SSJ V put down the pencil. NOW what the heck was she supposed to do. //WAIT, I'VE GOT IT! If they can't be out of character to begin with, then I'll just...\\
Obi Wan's Trip (Not Going To Be Pretty)
Obi Wan had had enough, this had gone to far! Anakin had once again snuck down to the lower levels of Corouscant to visit those low life, two timing, back stabbing scum of the Universe aliens. Of course Anakin called them 'misunderstood'. Bull fodder. What could Anakin possibly see in these 'people'? (and he used the term very loosely, ofcourse) Obi Wan mused to himself as he paced his room.
"Hey B?"
"Ya."
"Why would Obi Wan visit the lower levels of Corouscant?"
"... He saw a suspicious looking droid.."
"Hey, good idea!"
"Er, sure."
All of a sudden, Obi saw a suspicious looking droid hovering outside his window! Naturally, he jumped through it, trying to catch the flying atomiton, which turned out to be a bowling ball that Anakin had thrown off the roof. Obi Wan reminded himself to remove all heavy, sharp, flammable, or otherwise dangerous objects from Anakin's vicinity.
As he neared the ground, Obi Wan saw the only thing that could save his life! A giant, cookie shaped trampoline, surrounded by the galaxy's best sales people, girl scouts!
"Why would girl scouts be surrounding a giant trampoline?" Boba asked, looking over her shoulder.
"Because it was either that or Barney shaped aliens surrounding a dinosaur shaped crater filled with Jell-O." SSJ V answered, "And if I did that then I couldn't get this done in three or four paragraphs."
Obi Wan aimed himself at the trampoline, preparing for impact. He hit the springy surface, and bounced back up threw the window he came out of. "Thank the F-" He began, but was cut off another suspicious looking droid hovering outside the window.
"Ah, frick it." Obi exclaimed, climbing onto the couch and going to sleep.
The droid, in case you were wondering, teamed up with Godzilla, King Kong and the Power Rangers and became supreme overlord of the galaxy. THE END
"What do you think?" She asked her two friends, as they read over her story.
"What's the best you can get in an Earth rating system?" Boba asked.
"A +"
"The opposite of that."
"What he said." Leca agreed. "But it might get a bit better than mine."
"What's yours about?" SSJ V asked. Come on, there was no way that it was REALLY worse than hers.
"Once upon a time, there was a slave boy. He was born, he lived, he ruled the galaxy, he died. The End."
OK, so it was a BIT worse than hers.
"Doesn't it have to be three paragraphs?" SSJ V reminded her.
"Oh ya! OK, here it goes."
Once upon a time, there was a slave boy.
He was born, he lived, he got fried.
His son and his friends barbecued him.
The End
Dang, now it really WAS better than hers. "What's your about, B?"
"Why Ewoks should not be given guns, and other facts of the Universe." He read.
"Better than ours." SSJ V told him after a slightly awkward silence.
"Wow, SSJ V, I'm sure he feels so much better after that huge compliment." Leca rolled her eyes.
"I'm going to pretend for the moment that I have never heard of the word 'sarcasm' before in my life, hand this in, and hope for an F+." SSJ V left her seat, followed by her two friends, walking towards the front of the class room, hurriedly dumping the papers into the assignment box, and returning to their seats.
"Hey, guys, I just thought of something." Leca told them, turning in her seat to face them.
The both did their best, 'surprised' look, while Leca rolled her eyes and continued. "Now that we're in the Star Wars Universe, isn't it possible that our lives are just being written? That some author out there has our lives completely planned out (A/N only till third year so far! ;) and that we have no control over our own actions, and we're just puppets in someone else's hands?"
" I don't think so." SSJ V said thoughtfully. "This seems like the kind of story I would write, and I don't know many people who would focus a plot line around us anyway. Actually...." She continued, "maybe you." She pointed to Boba. "But not us. OH MY GOSH! What if we're only supplementary characters in some evil authors twisted mind, and they make us do horribly stupid things, and give us dumb phobias and give us detention with whiny teachers or- DWA! WE'RE A FAN FICTION!"
"No, your not." Zam told them, crossing her legs on her desk not looking up from whatever she was reading. "We have an anti-fan fiction force field surrounding the planet. Whoever is on the other side of it can not write a fan fiction about us." (A/N Wow, that sure worked well.)
As she finished speaking, the bell rang for fourth period. Fourth period, History of The Rebellion. Fourth period, with Darth Vader. As they left to find the classroom, SSJ V shared a glance with Boba.
//Darn. I really wanted to see what I had for fifth period too. \\
**************************************************************************
What shall happen in fourth period? What havoc will ensue this fait full class? Is Vegeta finally a super say-jin- Oops, wait, wrong story, sorry.
Sorry for the short (and fairly crappy) chapter. It's the last day of summer and I wanted to get one more out there before I have to wait 'till the weekend to write much more. (Mr. Rozzie, a.k.a. Mr. Pain In The Ass, gives us homework practically the first day, and lots of it, so the chapters may be coming out a bit slower now. I hope he's not reading this...)
Anywho, I can still do more characters, and Terry, you'll get a bigger part when we get to 'Rebel Serious' with Qui Gin Jinn. Actually, I'm planning to make all of you guys fairly large characters eventually.
By the way, Chinow, I like your death scene for anyone else who tries to get Wes. Hm, yes, very good....
And does anyone have an idea for male Padme fans yet? Er, ya. That's about it.
Lots O' Laughs,
B& SSJ V
