The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 13-Nakuru

Many years pass like days,
When one has hope to go on.
A flower dies in one year,
As one wakes and sleeps.

I slept till now for many a year,
And woke to find light,
But now as a flower dies in winter,
I must go back.

" Nice poem." I nodded. " Good one Syaoran."

He couldn't hear me so he didn't respond.
" Are you going to put it in a frame?" Eriol asked.
" Yukito's not here." I pointed out.
" Oh." Eriol stopped. " Looks good enough for a frame."

Syaoran felt around the couch and sat down. Yukito came back.
" Oh. I see you found the little poem Syaoran finally managed to search out." Yukito blinked. " I was going to put it in a frame. Syaoran wasn't going to have it, but I think I'll do it anyway without telling him."

Syaoran blinked. Obviously he didn't hear what his father just said.

" Ano, are you going to keep it from him for long?" I asked.
" Perhaps."Yukito shrugged. " He can't do anything about it."

He suddenly stopped because Syaoran suddenly climbed off the couch and tried to make his way towards him. He nearly tripped, but Yukito caught him in time.

" Not a good idea, Syaoran. You should stay where you are." I told him.

Syaoran made a strange motion. It seemed like he was showing off his biceps. Whatever he was trying to say it made Yukito feel really bad, so we could only conclude that he wasn't really trying to show off his biceps, not that he had much of them.

Yukito didn't tell us what it really was though.

" Where's Sakura?" I asked Touya.
" Off in the mall with Tomoyo." Touya answered. " Just got back from Yukito's?"
" Hai." I answered.
" How's the kid?"
" Getting worse."

Touya didn't seem surprised. It was getting harder and harder to surprise him. " How's Yukito?"
" I don't know. I can't really tell."
" Oh." Touya nodded.
" Are you going to tell Sakura?" I asked.
" Don't know." Touya answered, looking almost bored. " Do you think I should?"

I remained silent.

" Got any news about the world?" Touya suddenly asked.
" Don't you buy newspapers?"
" I didn't have time. Neither did Otou-san."
" That idiot Bush was attacking Iraq." I answered. " He started to some time ago."
" Americans." Touya scoffed. " But no matter. As long as he doesn't attack us, we're fine."
" Sakura could do something to end the war." I sat down.
" As if she'd care." Touya answered. " I don't care either. I don't think any of us do. War can go as she pleases. We're just sorcerors."

I raised my eyebrows. " Before you would never had said that."
" Syaoran changed a lot of things." Touya answered.

I remained silent again. So many things have changed.

" How's school?" I asked.
" I didn't go that much." Touya answered. " I took longer breaks. Said it was a family emergency."

I stared at him. It was a family emergency.

" Sometimes I wish Syaoran would die sooner." Touya muttered to me. " That way we wouldn't be played around with. All these months, these years, waiting, waiting for him to get cured. He never does. He gets better, only to get far worse. It's as unbearable as suspense. And the worst part is, I can't give up on him. It isn't just that I'm not allowed to. I can't. It wouldn't feel right. It's not me to just admit losing. But sometimes I guess giving up is much more comforting then this. The sooner Syaoran dies the sooner everything could settle to their rightful places."

" Or wrong places." I answered. " The wizards and witches-they already gave up on him. In a sense we gave up on him too. Syaoran's given up on himself. We're just waiting."

" When Syaoran dies I can go back to school." Touya sat down and opened a bag of chips. He held the bag to me and I took some. " Maybe Yukito would go back too. Sakura would get another boyfriend or something. We can forget about Jingxi. Who am I kidding?" He sobbed at last.

I watched him in silence. He held his face in his hands.

" Who are you kidding?" I agreed at last. " When Syaoran dies things will never be the same anymore. Maybe we will never see Yue again. Perhaps Sakura will fall so sick she'll end up where Syaoran will be."
" Maybe it won't be like that." Touya whimpered. " Maybe it would be for the best. It won't be like Fate to let us have so much glory only to render it useless!"

I sighed. " You don't know what Fate has planned for us." I answered. " Do you know what Syaoran once told his father? You don't know what you deserve. Perhaps one mistake was not enough to make a difference. But as the mistakes pile up, you must have the results. Or perhaps, a bad mistake might turn out to be beneficial, and you're rewarded. You don't know what you deserve to get until you get it."

It was Touya's turn to be silent.



" Sakura, are you alright?" I asked.

Sakura didn't answer. Instead, she fingered at the jade that Syaoran had given her with cold fingers and cold eyes.
" Sakura."
" Somehow I think the jade is more brittle today." She said softly, as if she never heard what I said.
" Something's going to happen." Sakura giggled. " Dear dear, what to do?"

I fell quiet. If she must go mad, she'll go mad. But I grew more concerned about Syaoran.

There must be a reason why she was fingering the jade that day.

I came home rather noisily. Eriol was practicing a chord over and over again.
" Gee, Eriol-sama, you haven't practiced the piano in a long while." I observed.
" Yukito just called." He said impassively.
" Really?" I asked, dropping my bags and taking off my coat. " What's wrong?"
" Well, Syaoran won't be going out anymore, that's for sure." Eriol answered, quite coolly, as if whatever news he was bringing up wasn't such a big deal.
" Hmph, so? He never went out these days."
" What's the day's date?"
" June first. Why?"
" I see. Just around a month until the third anniversary eh? I'm beginning to think the wizards and witches were right."
" What do you mean?" I asked casually. " What happened?"
" Syaoran lost his nervous system." Eriol answered in an odd voice. " He's blind, deaf, mute, and paralyzed. He can still feel things though-that's to be thanked." But he didn't sound too grateful.
" Paralyzed?" I gaped. " But, how? I just saw him today!"

Eriol laughed coldly.

" I saw him too, Nakuru." He could no longer stop laughing, and I briefly remembered how Sakura had broken into giggling fits just earlier. " Ah, Nakuru san! If you remember clearly, Syaoran had gotten off his couch. Yukito turned to him and Syaoran looked like he was showing off his biceps, right? Well, do you know what he was saying?"

I was silent. I was speechless. What did Syaoran say?

" He said, ' I am going to lose the ability to move. So I might as well move now.' Yue took him out flying this afternoon. When he came home he never moved again. Alas!"