Title: Silence and the Soldier
Author: ForeordainedDestiny
Category: shounen ai/yaoi
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: 3x1x3
Warnings: The usual…boys with boys… Now, if you don't like yaoi, don't read it! Simple as that! Relations to Heero's and Trowa's Episode Zero.
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Plus whatever is mine, is mine (which is little or nothing). I don't make any money….
Feedback: Any and all comments and feedback is welcome.
Notes: They are just so cute and torturable in their Episode Zero's… *sigh* Oh, and I know I deserve all your hate for not updating in forever… GOMEN! Now, time for a bit of mental torture… Lets see if I still got it.

Thank you to the people that reviewed the 2nd chapter:  Xan (*cough* Yes, I know there are some typos… I try not to have them, but… Beta-reading takes too long. I like to be able to post them quickly.. You know that.),  Katsuyuki Sumisawa (Yes, you can have more… Just yell at me when I forget to update like this.), Sicilienne (I apologize for disappointing you, but hopefully I'll work more… faster. Thank you for the lovely review! I don't deserve it…), Vampire Queen (Your list of favorite stories? How cool… I hope I'm still on there.), moonbunny317 (Sorry, sorry! I will work harder! And thanks for thinking it was cute… I'm not very good at shounen ai.), Katie (read it before? Like one of my old reviewers? Cool!)

                Trowa waited while Heero slept. He waited for the other pilot to wake up so maybe he could gather up enough courage to tell Heero the truth, the truth about his true feelings. However, his thoughts were interrupted by a soft groan from Heero on the bed. The pilot of 01 opened his eyes, only to find that Trowa was staring straight at him with those intense eyes. Wrenching his own eyes away from the deep gaze, he spoke to the taller pilot.

          "You must think me as weak… cold-hearted… a disgust…" He started. Heero stopped and turned rigid when he felt Trowa's hand on his cheek.

          "No. Not at all, Heero." Trowa's words hit Heero like a tsunami. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met." His eyes were soft with raw emotion as he caressed Heero's cheek. On what little human instinct he possessed, Heero closed his eyes and leaned into the caress, suddenly desperately in need of Trowa's touch. It was his first in quite a long time.

          "Why me? Of all people, why me? Why someone who isn't sure that he is able to love?" Heero murmured. He curled up till his head was tucked under the taller pilot's chin, but still made allowances for his injuries. And yet, it was a good feeling, to be warm and safe.

          Trowa hesitated once, then kissed the top of Heero's head.                                 

          "Because you're you. I have no other explanation. Words fail me."

          The strange fluttering sensation occupied itself in Heero's chest once again. He reached up his hand to touch Trowa's face, but winced and drew back. Pain lanced all around his broken and still-healing arm.

          "Maybe you should rest some more…"

          Heero was clearly not all right. He sucked his breath in with a painful hiss and doubled over, clutching his arm. Trowa moved forward to help him.

          "No. Stop. Don't help me." Heero's voice was firm and commanding, but full of pain as well. Ever since his self-destruction, Heero had been struggling to regain his self-control, but had been failing miserably. He was unable to hide his emotions as well as he could before. "Trowa, this is the first time that I can remember that someone has told me that they cared for me and I don't need to be treated like an invalid."

          Trowa considered this and refrained from helping him, honoring Heero's decision and strength.

          "If that's what you want."

          "Hn." With a grunt, Heero lowered himself back down on the bed and pulled the covers up around his body. He forced his breathing to slow down, and then opened his mouth to speak.

        "I-I know that I'm not the best person to be around, but will you please understand that this is all new to me?"

The corners of Trowa's mouth quirked a tiny bit, but to Heero, that meant a lot.

          "I understand."

          "Thank you. I'll try to–" Heero was interrupted as the door opened.

          "Trowa? The Manager wants to see you about the show tonight, and when we're moving next." It was Catherine.

          'A show? Tonight? How could I have forgotten…? But I can't leave Heero here alone… His condition has gotten worse…' Trowa thought, but kept his face completely stoic. Although his face showed nothing, Heero could sense it. Heero gave Trowa a look that simply said,

          'Go.'

          "Trowa, on this next show, we're simply going to be entertaining a bunch of people from this colony, nothing fancy. You're going to be doing the usual, so I don't need to explain that." The Manager, a man in a suit, complete with a hat and tie confirmed his role as the ringmaster. The two had met in the Manager's trailer.

          "Yes, Sir," said Trowa, and he turned to leave.

          "One more thing, Trowa: We're going to be taking a shuttle back to Earth after this, so be prepared to leave. I told Catherine to spread the word," the Manager said. Trowa nodded and left.

          'A shuttle back to Earth? I'll have to be careful…'

          "Heero, are you alright? Do you need anything?" Now it was Catherine who sat by Heero's bed, taking over her brother's position. She noticed how the boy's hand shook while he held his spoon to eat the soup.

          "I'm fine," Heero mumbled in-between bites. He was getting tired of girls always hanging around. First the Peacecraft girl, now Catherine. He knew they meant well, but it just got annoying.

'Where's my gun…? Wait, where am I? I thought I was in Trowa's trailer…' Heero looked around, seeing that he was in a graveyard. His eyes widened as he saw the familiar build of a man walking towards him through the mist.

          'O-Odin?'  

          Catherine saw that Heero had fallen asleep. Frowning, she took away his food and felt his forehead.

          'Just great. A fever,' She thought. 'I'd better stay here until Trowa comes back.' She sighed and got out a book.

          'I guess all those years with you weren't so bad, boy.'

          'Whatcha looking at? The void of space…which took everything away from you? Or…your own image, a face without a name…?' In Heero's conscience, Odin Lowe's words came back to him, real and loud just like Odin himself had said them for the first time.

          "You're dead. You died a long time ago."

          'Here's one last bit of good advice. No matter what happens, follow your feelings. So, you may as well do what your heart tells you, so you won't regret it later. That's the right path…for people who live in the present.

          Heero felt a pain in his chest as he struggled to control the urge to break. He was not a doll.

          'Okay… this is good-bye. Don't get killed.'

          "I didn't get killed, Odin. I did exactly what you said… I always did exactly what you said… Don't leave again… Please." Heero begged.

          The man known as Odin Lowe walked up to Heero and looked him over, his eyes deeply examining the teen.  

          'Hm… I always knew you were gonna grow up to be like this. Now look at you, a fearsome Gundam Pilot. Dr. J sure did a good job on you- Better than I could have.'

          Heero glared at the dead man and clenched his fists,

          "A good job? Is that all I am? A machine that people use in wars? You have no idea what I went through, and what Dr. J did to me! Sure I'm good for war and battle, but what will happen when we achieve peace? What then?!" He shouted. Odin's allowed his face to show a little sympathy, but said nothing.

          "What will I do?!" Then Odin disappeared. The Wing pilot sank to the ground, frightfully all alone.

          "What will I do…?" Catherine's eyebrows furrowed in a frown. Heero had been mumbling, but now she could make out what he was saying. She dunked the washcloth that she had put over his forehead into the bowl of cold water again. Trowa still was not back, and Heero's fever had rose. But she knew that there was something special about this boy, so she didn't worry about the sickness too much. His body was just weak from his injuries, that's all.

Trowa needed time to think and be alone. He sat by the lion's cage, stroking the fur while the lion purred loudly in his ear.

          'What will happen when Heero gets better? Will there be more fights with OZ? I don't know…'

          'I have always been a soldier.' A voice whispered. It was the voice of a young boy.

            "Who's there?" Trowa asked aloud. The lion roared suddenly.

          'I used up all my sadness when I was a baby.'

          Realization came upon Trowa….

          "I said those words to Midii, so long ago."

          Just then, the young, blonde girl Midii herself walked out of the trees towards him. She held an outstretched hand towards him,

          "Nanashi, it really has been a long time."

          "M-Midii…? Is that really you?" Trowa stuttered, at a loss for words. He then saw that the girl's image was almost see-through: An image of his past. Was he losing it?

          "Yes. I said this once, and I'll say it again: How long do you plan to wear that mask that never cries? Come on, at least show some emotion towards the one you love!" A look of sadness crossed her face, but she shook it off quickly, for what she had wanted once was impossible.

          "I…" Trowa started.

          "You what? Why aren't you with him now? He's sick and hurting and you aren't with him, which only makes it worse. He's doing exactly what he's done for his whole life- Survive through hell alone. You also choose to be alone, ne? You always choose to be alone." Midii was getting angry with him, trying to get Trowa to see her reasoning.

          "He loves you, Nanashi. And he's trying to understand that!" Her words softened and halted as her image faded a little.

          "My time is up. Farewell, Nanashi. Please make the right choice and see what I mean. The Perfect Soldier has done something that has been thought impossible. He has fallen in love with Nanashi."

Midii disappeared, leaving Trowa once again alone. He got up and ran to the trailer.

          TBC.

Author's notes: Hey, I just love Trowa and Heero's episode Zeros… they're so cute. If you haven't read them yet, you can find them at:     I think almost everyone's is there! A bunch of the phrases from this chapter were from there…

Well, hope that didn't go too badly… Did it?