Chapter 4: Please Let Me Be Right

There is one bit of good news about someone who has lost control of her powers to the extent that Willow has. She's too out of it to consciously try to kill you or attempt to end the world. So I don't have to worry about those complications, like I did last May.

And indeed, all Willow was able to do was scream. She stopped screaming about thirty seconds ago, and collapsed face down to the floor. Now she's unconscious.

The bad news is just about everything else. When someone completely loses control of dark magics, the human body starts breaking down, to be replaced by monstrous manifestations of dark energy. That's what's happening to my girl.

And I'm not stopping it. That's the gamble I'm taking. Now that Willow has almost total recall, there is no way in hell that her human body will be able to handle the dark powers inside her and the pain of those memories simultaneously. She must become something stronger, and she must become something stronger now.

Did I mention that I'm praying to the Goddess to let me be right?

Despite the noise shield, Giles, Buffy and Dawn sensed the disturbance coming from the room. They rushed up the stairs and burst into the bedroom, where I promptly paralyzed them, along with Xander. They're good folks, all of them, but they are now officially out of their league. This is one problem they will not solve with a stake.

I sense a commotion from the SITs below. They're very scared. Fortunately, they're comparatively clueless, so I can deal with them simply by knocking them out cold. I also put an ironclad barrier around the house, and cast a stealth spell on it so that the First's followers won't instantly perceive a magical billboard that Prospexa Is Here. Those are the easy parts. The core scoobies will be much harder to deal with. I can hear the thoughts screaming in their minds, most of which are blaming me for what's happened to their friend and running through various curses in battle plans in response. Even Xander. I'm disappointed. Then again, he didn't expect to see his best friend re-succumb to dark magic and sprawled out on the floor, spewing black liquid into an ever growing puddle. It wasn't on my agenda, either.

I look at my girl, sprawled out on the floor. A steady stream of black oil continues to pour out of her nose into what has become a good sized puddle, but she's otherwise still and still breathing. She's entered what we call the "silent phase," so I have a few minutes to address the motionless crowd.

I take a deep breath, and turn towards them. My eyes are bright violet. This gets their attention. Beyond the game face, I've added full body armor to this human avatar as well. I use both, and face them as the powerful demoness I really am.

In the ensuing mental cacophony, I hear Buffy's thoughts the loudest. [Who are you? What are you? What have you done to Willow?] she mentally screams.

[My name is Prospexa,] I mentally shout. [I am a demon goddess who has sworn rebellion against the First. I have done nothing to Willow. What you see is what Willow is doing to herself.]

[What did you do to Kennedy?] yells Dawn.

[Kennedy died months ago at the hands of the First's Bringers. I appropriated this body and rebuilt it for my purposes. It serves as my avatar in this world. Most of my body remains in my home dimension.]

[What the hell do you want?] yells Buffy.

[I want to defeat the First, like you. I have seen the First's path of total destruction and know where it leads. You have my word that I do not want to go there.]

[You lie!] screams Buffy.

[If you doubt me, I remind you that I could have helped burn this planet when Willow called on my power last May. I did not. Or perhaps Mr. Harris would like to explain how he suddenly appeared at Willow's precise location and managed to avoid being incinerated by her magical streams?]

[Xander...]

Xander's mind reels. [She's... right. But this wasn't supposed to happen!]

[Xander, you knew about this and you didn't tell us? What the hell were you thinking?] screamed Buffy.

[She... she told me not to... and I thought I could trust her... but you promised you'd protect Willow! You lied!]

[I didn't lie. I failed.]

[Why? What the hell did you do?]

[Willow remembered. I didn't think she would.]

Giles thinks in. [Remember? Remember what?]

[I am not the only demon goddess in this room, Mr. Giles. There's another one, sprawled out on the floor in front of you.]

[No. It can't be] shouts Xander. [I went to kindergarten with her. Hell, I went to... nursery school with her, for God's sake. She's completely human. She is no demon.]

I sigh. [I expected this would be difficult for you. For all of you. You're right, her current body is human. But her soul and her powers are not. She is the reincarnation of a very powerful demon goddess. A goddess I was very close to in my home dimension.]

I sense many minds reeling. Finally, Xander jumps in. [I don't believe you, but let's say you're right. What the hell is she remembering?]

[Before we managed to free ourselves from our master, we were compelled to do some very bad things, up to the scale of what Willow attempted last May. Our memories of our acts of destruction... are very hard to deal with, even for a demon goddess. For a human already struggling with dark powers she doesn't understand, they are crushing.]

Giles groans. [You... she... destroyed entire worlds?]

[Yes, Mr. Giles. Much smaller ones than this Earth, but yes.]

[But... how...]

[We were slaves at the time, consumed with passions for destruction, Mr. Giles. That doesn't make it any easier to live with.]

[Of the First?]

[No. But of one of its major disciples.]

[What happened to the disciple? Your master?]

[We finally managed to free ourselves from it and destroy it, but Willow sacrificed herself in the process. You would have been proud of her - she is a great heroine in my world. She was reborn as who you see before you.]

[This can't be] yells Xander. [It can't!]

[Yes it is, Mr. Harris. And I would know. But I understand that I'm going to have a very hard time convincing you. You will just have to wait and see for yourself. And, assuming you want to help Willow, you'll need to pretend my story is true for the time being.]

I can see Xander and the rest of the group struggle with their thoughts. But then it doesn't matter, because we're out of time. A low grumble comes from the floor. Ripples begin to appear in the puddle of black ooze.

[What happens now?] yells Giles.

[What I told you would happen, Mr. Giles. She dies. Then I try to save her.]

I hear some of the worst mental screaming I have ever heard. I'm really sorry about this. Truly I am. But this needs to be done, and I need concentration. I shut their thoughts out and turn to my girl.

Willow lets out a deep guttural moan. There's a loud cracking and ripping noise, and a fountain of black oil gushes vertically from her back and midsection. The fountain begins to freeze in midair, forming an H. R. Geiger interpretation of a weeping willow tree - if the weeping willow tree was from hell. Then the branches begin to turn into tentacles. There's another rustling sound as the remains of Willow's body suddenly crumbles and turns into dust, as if she had been a freshly-staked vampire.

I let a tear run down my cheek. This incarnation of my girl - Willow Rosenberg - has just died.

I have no time to blame myself or grieve, though. The tree is changing shape, gaining definition. Protrusions begin to form on the end of the tentacles. And what the protrusions are becomes clear - hideous, demonic faces.

Buffy is stunned, left without coherent thoughts. She's seen the thing in front of her before. Not this one, exactly, but something almost identical.

I sense Buffy remembering something Willow said, years ago, while sitting on a park bench outside Sunnydale High while nursing a nasty set of cuts and bruises. It was the day after they saved the world yet again, this time by defeating the Sisterhood of Jhe and chopping up the arch-demonic tentacled and multi-headed thing under the old school library. "I'll never forget that thing's real face," Willow said.

And now Willow - the thing that had been Willow - had that face.

What Buffy doesn't realize is that the thing is not attacking us. It's just sitting there, quivering. My girl is still inside there, still fighting. Oh, Goddess, I love her so much.

I have to force myself to concentrate. I quickly walk over to Dawn and grab her arm.

[What the hell are you doing?] she asks.

[I need power to help Willow,] I say.

I quickly speak the words of command that I spent years learning to master. Dawn's eyes burn a bright green, and the rest of her body glows with a lesser intensity. I feel the power of the Key flow into me. I give a sigh of relief - that was the part that had to go perfectly.

I sense the others stare in awe at Dawn. I allow myself a brief bit of pride. [What, you think the Key is only for shredding the fabric of reality?] I say.

I sense a tide of rising horror from Buffy.

[Don't worry, Dawn is fine, aren't you?]

[...umph... I feel like I have a power main through my chest... this better work... you'd better bring her back...]

[I will.]

I take a deep breath and begin scanning the thing. The pieces of my girl in there are pretty large, and fusing them back together won't be as difficult as I thought. I say one last prayer and begin the fusion process.

* * *

It takes me about ten minutes to fuse Willow's mind to a state where she regains a semblance of consciousness, and seal her from her memories enough that she doesn't break apart immediately. It then takes another five minutes to coax her into changing her form into a human-looking Willow. Black hair, black eyes, but definitely Willow.

When the process is done, she looks up at me and moans softly. A black tear runs down her cheek.

[I know it hurts, baby, but you have to be strong. You can be. For me, and for them.]

I gently pick her up and place her on the bed. I kiss her on the forehead and cast one final spell. She falls into a deep sleep, without dreams. For a few hours, she will once again be at peace.

[Rest now, love. You'll need it for what lies ahead.]

Thanks to Dawn, I had enough power to find my girl inside that thing, and bring her back. It is only temporary, and she will have to decide where we go from here. But it is enough to give her the choice.

And that's the real source of power. She said so herself.

* * *

To be continued...