Disclaimers: I don't wanna retype them... they make me sad. sniff

Hola minna-san! I'm glad you liked it! Thank you star-crystals, Runic, White Meteor, Anodien, Celeste, Kyo-ko, Neko no Baka, the Black Rose, Shayna, and Nemo for your reviews! hugs you all Yes, the pairng is going to be Kyo/Tohru and Yuki will be in this chapter!

My December

"I just love weddings!" Ayame smiled as he strolled in, flipping his hair with his hand. "So, have you finished with the decorations?" Hatori asked. "Yes, the finishing touches are done, and if I may say so myself, they are simply beautiful! Full of passion and depicting love in it's truest form." he exclaimed, clasping his hands together. Hatori ignored him.

Ayame went on and on about how wonderful today is going to be. I stand up and walk outside. Truthfully, I didn't want to come. I wasn't going to, I had a perfectly legitimate excuse, I was sick... but I couldn't do it. Tohru was so worried about me when I told her I had the flu. I couldn't lie to her, I didn't want to make her sad. So I told her that I somehow got better right away and was able to come. Tohru deserves today and every ounce of joy and bliss in it. It wouldn't hurt me to come today, I could stand it for her... couldn't I?

I step out onto the grass and observe the surroundings. Ayame really did do a good job, everything looks so elegant and serene. There's a white carpet that spans from the house's entrance to a wooden altar. Chairs sit on each side of the carpet with bouquets of white lillies tied to the aisle seats. White roses are fastened to the front of the altar with a gold and silver ribbon. It's really beautiful. I turn and walk away, once, I had hoped for this day.

The day I'd be able to give up my idiocy and be free. But today came and I still feel the shackles of infatuation. It's been almost two years since the Christmas party at Shigure's, when my world of lies came crashing down around me. Kyo and Tohru graduated last year and he proposed to her soon after that. It was raining that day, I remember. Kyo told me. I gave him a small hug, a friend hug, and said I was happy for them and that he should have asked her sooner. I'm thankful it was raining that day, it hid my tears.

I waited until I got home, until I was in my room, then I let it out. My foolish tears returned, they had just been hiding, waiting for the chance to spring. But after it all, I was relieved, soon I would be able to look back on this and laugh, I mean, the hard part was already over, right?

I bite my lip. I should check on Tohru. I quickly walk upstairs and knock on her door. "Yes?" Hana, slides open the door. "Please come in." she opens the door wider and I step inside. Tohru is sitting in a chair while Kisa puts her hair into a neat bun. She clips the veil to her head with tiny bobby pins. "Hello, I'm so glad you were able to make it." Tohru turns her head and faces me. "Me too." We talk for a bit, she looks beautiful and seems pretty calm, but she shook her head when I told her that and said she was really nervous and hopes she won't trip in her heels. Kisa finishes with her hair and holds up a mirror to Tohru. "Okay, sissy, how does it look?" Kisa beams. Tohru gasps, "Oh, Kisa, you did a beautiful job, I can't thank you enough!" they hug each other. "Your welcome." Kisa smiles and releases her, Tohru wipes away a small tear from the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry, I guess I cry to much... I'm just so happy you all are here, all my friends, you don't know how much it means to me." She cried. "We wouldn't miss it for the world." Uo says and pats her back.

She smiles again, but her expression soon turns to panic. "Oh, no! I forgot to greet all everyone and make refreshments! They must be starving and-" "Tohru, it's alright, you don't have to do anything today. We've taken care of everything." Hana said quietly. That was just like Tohru, always thinking about others. She's the kindest person I know. If I had asked her not to get married to Kyo, she wouldn't have. She would have put my happiness over her's. I don't know anyone else like that.

"Yeah, just relax, I'll go see if anyone needs anything." I smile sweetly and leave her room. I look at the ground. I wanted to be the one in the wedding gown, I wanted to be the one surrounded by friends and loved by everyone. I want to be just like her, but I'm not. I'm just Kagura the idiot. I berate myself for throwing such a childish tantrum, regardless of its veracity. No wonder Kyo hated me, well, he could still hate me, I don't know. I'm nothing compared to Tohru, she's always thinks about others and makes people feel good about themselves, while I only manage to be annoying and abhorrent.

I find myself outside Kyo's room, the door is slightly open. He's pacing around the room and Shigure and Haru are talking to him, to cheer him up, I suppose. I lean forward and press my ear against the door, great, now I've got eavesdropping to add to my list of bad habits. I just hope no one sees me like this.

"Kyo, There's nothing to be worried about, everything's going to be fine." Shigure reasoned. Haru stretched his arms. "Maybe it's not the wedding he's scared about, but what happens afterward." Haru smirked and was awarded promptly with an uppercut from Kyo.

"Shut up! I'm not scared about... anything!" Kyo yelled. Shigure nodded, "It's alright, Kyo, that's what we're here for, to make sure you don't get cold feet at the altar." Kyo seemed to think about those words and what he was going to say, after all, Kyo wasn't really the type who talked about what was on his mind much.

"What if she doesn't want to marry me? What if she's not ready to say yes? I mean, I'm not as smart or as strong as others and sometimes I say things I don't mean to and I'm too angry and stupid to take them back. What if she sees all this? I can't even hold her when I want to, what if she wants someone who can? What if she wants some one who can do all those things and not somebody-"

POOF!

A little orange cat now stood where Kyo had seconds before. "-like me." he finished. Shigure was silent for a moment. "First of all, you shouldn't be worrying over things you can't change. Sure, all that is true about you, but we all have our faults, we all do silly things we regret. And secondly, this is Tohru we're talking about and if you've forgotten, she's already said yes to you and she already knows all your faults, but she's obviously getting married to you for a reason, because she loves you." Shigure folded his arms over his chest. "Of course, if you have any doubts then-" "No, I have no doubts, I'm ready." the orange cat looked up at Shigure. "...Thanks." he replied.

I hurried down the stairs and out to the back porch. Surprisingly, it's not that cold for winter. Over the last two years, I've learned to blend in and be silent, 'If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all', right? I've been doing a lot less talking. I don't fight as much as I used to, either. I've gotten colder like snow, but even as snow, I'm vulnerable.

I sit with my legs hanging over the edge of the porch. Yuki's sitting out here also. He glances over at me, his eyes they look.... remorseful. In my ignorance I thought that he was fine with everything, he never seems to do or say anything that would suggest otherwise. Although at times he seems a bit aloof, but I had adopted that as his personality. But when all this happened, I understood his actions. "Oh, hello Kagura, how are you?" he asks, he look towards the horizon. "Okay." I answer, "Are you okay?" I return the question. He runs one hand through his hair and nods. "You can talk about it." I say quietly.

We were both stuck in the same boat. "There's nothing you can say that will sound silly to me." I can't help it. I want to talk to somebody, I hate being quiet and keeping everything inside. I want to talk and listen to somebody who felt the same as me. He looks over at me.

"I'm being selfish. I wanted for the wedding to be called off, I wanted to tell Tohru how I really felt because I knew she would never get married to him if it would hurt me, how awful is that? I wanted to take advantage of Tohru's kindness to get what I wanted, how horrible is that?" I listen to Yuki, I had thought about that too.

"Then why didn't you?" I ask suddenly. "Why couldn't you tell her?" He looks up at me in confusion and then down at his feet.

"I couldn't forget what Tohru had done for me, what she had done for everyone. She was the only person who would be worried about what I ate for breakfast. She was the only one who would ask about my day and always invite me to play a game with the others. I couldn't because... I wanted her to be truly happy." There it was. The sacrifice he was willing to make for her, he would endure silent suffering just so she'd be happy.

I couldn't even imagine how hard this was for him. He had lived with Tohru, he had seen her everyday. I had never been that close to Kyo. I never shared that kind of realtionship with him. "I don't regret loving her, I'd do it again, but I could have told her, I could have been the one she was marrying. But I let her go, I had been withdrawn for so long that I didn't know what to do. I was so close to telling her, but I didn't, I was afraid she wouldn't feel the same, so I said nothing." I know it was difficult for him to tell me that and there was nothing I could say to comfort him. I cried. Not out loud or anything, inside. Inside I was crying for Yuki. How painful it must have been for him to see them get closer and closer and not know what to do. How painful it must have been for him to giver her up. I never had anything to give up.

He smiled, not a happy smile, but not a bitter one either, something inbetween the two. "I always want to be there for Tohru, to help her as she's helped me. I want us to keep talking and laughing together, even if it's not the same as before. One day, I'll be able to let her go and just be a friend to her. One day, I'll be able to stop asking, what if I had told her? I'll wait for that day." He stood up, I couldn't hide my tears anymore, they were quickly falling down my face. I stood up and hugged him, "I'll wait for that day too." I whispered. He hugged me back and some of my tears ran onto his coat. I heard Shigure calling everyone for the wedding. I dried my tears and followed the others into the front yard. I sat between Shigure and Momiji.

I watched as Tohru walked down the aisle in possibly the most beautiful wedding dress I'd ever see. I watched as they both stood together before the small crowd. I watched as they kissed for the first time as husband and wife. I wanted to remember this, for that one day when Kyo could call me a friend. Then I'd be able to recall their wedding and how beautiful it was and how happy everyone had been, because a friend would always remember that.

FINI

O.O I can't believe it... I actually wrote a multi-chapter fic! This is a major milestone for me! Thank you all for encouraging me to continue, I wouldn't have if you didn't.

Hmmm... This looks like a Yuki/Kagura fic now, doesn't it? I didn't mean for it be, but they do make a cute couple, ne? (well, once she gets over her violent mood swings) If you like that couple then there it is, if not, then they can just be friends.

I loved writting this fic, but I'm stopping right here, I was afraid I'd spoil it if I added this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed this one as much as the last!

Reiya

Reviews will be greatly appreciated.