Ch 8

Open rebuke is better than secret love. (Prov.27:5)

Jason was awakened in the morning by medical personnel. As they removed the small round circles on his chest that were attached to the heart monitor, Alan expanded that they were moving him out of ICU and into a private room. Jason had questioned his father if he could just go home, but the doctor told him that his injuries were quite extensive, and although he was out of the woods, he could easily pull the internal stitches and causes bleeding. He needed to stay in the hospital for a few more days to make sure that there were no further problems. Jason nodded and gave in to him. He also thought about what Brenda had told him about his being in the hospital had put the trail on hold as they started to wheel his bed out of the room and preceded to the other location.

When they arrived in his new surroundings, he asked the doctor if the pain in his sternum was from the collapsed lung. The doctor took a look at his chart and then gently pressed around on his chest. Frowning he told his son that the EMT had to perform CPR, and they might have bruised or even fractured the bone there.

"Did I die?" Jason questioned him.

"Well, I would not say that, exactly. Yes, your heart did stop, and they had to work to get it going again; but technically, you did not die in the medical sense."

"Was Elizabeth there?"

"She rode in the ambulance with you." The older man studied his son's bewildered face. "Why?"

"It must have frightened her," he stated plainly.

The man patted his hand in a very fatherly manner. "I don't think much of what you do fazes that girl anymore. Right after they took you up to surgery, she went to give blood for Mike Corbin." Jason looked at him confused. Alan thought it was that Jason did not know about Mike's injuries. "He came in with two gun shot wounds right before you were brought in. He had lost a lot of blood. He has a very rare type and Elizabeth is a match. So she offered to help." Jason looked at his father not surprised at all that Elizabeth would think of someone else even when her own life was a mess. It was something he always admired about her.

He liked the new room better. At least this one did not have all those monitors. Now he only had in the IV. He had asked to have it removed, but they told him they needed it to administer antibiotics. Also to give him pain medication, if he wanted it. Which he definitely did not.

He was reading though the travel book Elizabeth had given him when they brought him a breakfast tray. Nothing on it looked appealing; not that he was hungry anyway. He only took a sip of the coffee; he grimaced from the bitter flavor of it. He was trying to recover from the awful stuff when his door burst open, and a bubbling smile of the buxom blond bobbed in.

"Good morning." Courtney cheerfully greeted him. She made her way to his bed side and leaned over placing a peck of a kiss on his mouth.

"Hi," he smiled back at her. "How's your father?"

Her shoulders slumped and her face dropped. "The same... not good, really. They just don't seem to know anything yet."

"I'm sorry." He had taken her hand and was gently rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

"I don't want to talk about daddy." She tried to smile again, "You are looking much better today." She continued to chatter on for a few minuets before Jason stopped her to talk about a subject he had been dreading since Taggert had left him last night.

"Courtney, I need to talk to you."

She stopped and peered at him. "This is about Sonny. I know what you are going to say, and I just don't think now is a good time to tell him."

"Courtney, listen to me. I...I," this was going to be much harder than he thought. He decided to just say it, "We can't see each other any more."

She felt as if her skin was melting into a puddle on the floor as the weight of his words sank in. "What? Why? Because of Sonny?"

Jason shook his head, "No, this is about me." She stared at him and did not offer a response at first.

"What do you mean it is about you? I thought you cared about me?"

"I do, I really do. Just not the way I should if we are going to be together."

"But, Jason, I love you. I know you love me, too. I can feel it when you look at me." Her eyes were starting to glisten.

"Courtney, listen to me. I should have never gotten involved with you when I was still hurting over what happen with Elizabeth. It was not fair to either of us."

"Your just using Elizabeth as an excuses so you don't have to face my brother!" she sobbed.

"No, I'm not. Last night I realized that I still have a lot of unresolved feelings that I need to deal with before I can be with you or anyone." He tried to study her reaction, but she had her face in her hands. "I think you also have some things to work out about AJ." He stopped because she looked up at him.

"I don't want to be around AJ anymore. Not after what he did to me."

"That is not what I'm saying. I just think you were hurt by him and turned to me to distract you from it or get back at him. Just as I did because Elizabeth walked out on me."

"Yes, Jason, she walked out on you. So why are you still thinking about her?"

He did not want to answer her. He knew if he did it would hurt her even more than he already had. He looked down at the sterile white of the sheet that covered his body. Trying to find the right way to make her understand. "I don't know if there is anything left between Elizabeth and me. I don't even know if I can ever have a relationship with anyone because of my life. I just know that right now, this is not going to work out."

"What are you saying, that maybe in the future?" Her eyes shone with anticipation, but Jason shook his head.

"I told you; I don't know if I can have anyone in my life ever again. I can't bear the pain of putting anyone I care for at risk of getting hurt or worse."

"So, that's it? It is over because you say so? I don't think so. I'm not going to just stop loving you just because you want me to."

"I can't love you back and be with you the way you deserve, Courtney."

"Because of Elizabeth? You told me you did not love her."

"Maybe I have been lying to myself all this time. I think I've been to afraid to love..." he stopped before her name finally found its way to his lips in an admission of his love.

Courtney could not take it anymore. She started sobbing uncontrollably and ran for the door. Rushing out, she did not see her brother standing there near the threshold. He had listened to most of their private conversation. Now he was not sure if he should go after his sister and comfort her or go after his enforcer. He decided on his sister. He knew Jason was not going anywhere, and he wanted the whole story before confronting the man he called his friend.

Sonny followed down the corridor that his sister had taken, but before he could catch her she turned into the lady's restroom. It was then that he spotted his wife at the nurses' station talking to her mother. He did not know how long Courtney would be consoling herself in the restroom, so he made his way over to his wife.

"Good morning." He placed a kiss on her tastefully made up face. She turned smiling at him.

"Mama just told me that they moved Jason out of ICU, and he is doing really well." Sonny only smiled and did not offer that he already knew this. "But there has been a change in Mike's condition."

Bobbie smiled at her son-in-law. "I checked with the technician, and the DNA results should be back in tomorrow," she offered. "They have reduced the medication so that, hopefully, he will come out of the coma on his own soon."

Sonny looked pleasantly at the woman. "Thank you, Bobbie. I would appreciate it if you would let me know of even the slightest change in Mike."

"Oh, yes, sure, of course." She pulled her pager from her pocket. It must have vibrated, and reading it she said she needed to go but would stay on top of things for them. Carly gave her a quick hug and waved at her as she hurried away.

Sonny watched and when the woman was clearly out of sight he placed a firm grip on his wife's bicep. He pulled her slightly over to the waiting area. Carly was not really resisting but furrowed her brow at him as she followed along beside him. Arriving the in deserted seating area, Carly pulled her arm free and promptly plopped her hands on her hips. "Well?" she tapped her foot impatiently at him.

"Did you know?" Suddenly, all the things that he had seen between them were so clear now. The somewhat cryptic messages Elizabeth had given him about talking to Jason made sense now too. He thought of Elizabeth, and his heart sank a inch thinking about how she must feel. Sonny had known for a long time how she felt about Jason. She was never good at hiding it. Now he understood the way she looked and acted the other night in the waiting room while Jason was in surgery. He really did not understand because he knew Jason had feelings for her too, but he had been with Courtney instead.

"Know what?" She loomed over a chair deciding if she should sit or not.

"About Jason and Courtney," he glared at her.

"Oh, that," she dropped down into the plastic seat behind her.

"So, you knew and did not tell me."

"I tried a few times, but you made such horrible comments when I suggested the idea of them together, that I decided to let them tell you when they were ready. What is the big deal?"

"You know I don't want her involved with my business."

"Courtney is your sister. Whether you like it or not, she is going to be involved."

"I understand that, but not by dating," he dropped his voice and did a quick scan around the area, "my enforcer."

Carly rolled her eyes then looked up at her husband. She proceeded to go into detail about what a great guy Jason was and how he was good for Courtney; and that Courtney was away from AJ, which they all wanted in the first place. He pried out of her all the information she had on the relationship, how long it had been going on and how far it had gone to the best of her knowledge. When she was through, she thought she had won Sonny over when he nodded his head and half smiled. But he shocked her when he revealed that he found about the relationship because he overheard Jason just end it with Courtney.

"Oh, no. Courtney must be devastated." Carly commented.

"She looked pretty upset to me."

"Where is she?"

"I followed her to the lady's room."

Carly jumped up from her seat. Without a word she stormed past her husband a headed for the restroom. Sonny looked at his watch; he needed to meet with the foreman at the warehouse. He was not sure he even needed to talk to Jason about Courtney now that it was over between them. He made a call placing a guard on Mike and left the hospital.

*

Jason had found the rest of the morning less than quiet. Carly had come in to rebuke him for breaking up with Courtney. She also informed him that Sonny now knew of the whole affair. He finally told her he was tired and he wanted to get some rest.

The rest of the day crawled by. Jason had watched Headline News all the way though several times and found it uninteresting. The book on China offered lots of beautiful pictures of the sights to look at when his eyes felt to strained to read the words on the pages. He was becoming uncomfortable in the bed, but every time he shifted his weight, he was punished for it. He finally gave up and watched the light outside fade. He looked up hopeful at the door when it unfasten and swung in. He was met by a brightly smiling woman in a white lab coat carrying a dinner tray.

"Hi, Monica, What have you got there?"

"Oh, just the culinary delights of the hospital." She placed the tray on the table and slid it over his lap. Then she fussed with the controls of the bed to move him in to a more suitable position to eat. He looked at the very unappetizing food that lay limp on the plate in front of him. He pushed it away. "I'm not really hungry."

"I understand that. Your abdomen is very sore, but you need to eat."

"Maybe tomorrow." He offered.

"No," she pushed the tray back toward him. "I saw in your chart that you have not eaten all day. So I'm going to stay here with you until you eat something, or do I need to feed you."

Seeing the determination on her face, he picked up the fork and started to push at the food on the plate. After watching him for a moment Monica started to laugh. "What is so funny?"

"You used to do that same thing when you were a little boy." He looked at her amused. "If you did not want to eat it, you would spread out the food on your plate. I think you thought it would make it look like you had eaten some or something."

"Really?" he said as he watched her remember.

"Oh, you were funny that way. Especially with peas, you hated them, and there was no way to get you to eat them. I could promise you ice cream or cookies, but you would not budge. Oh you were stubborn, just like your father."

"Am I still?" He asked her.

"What, stubborn?" she smiled at the thought. "I don't know. I would guess so, but I don't know you the way I used to." Jason frowned when he saw the sadness cross her eyes.

"I'm sorry that I can't be who you want me to be."

"Jason, you are exactly the person you should be. I just wish you could find away to be a part of the family, but I know they will never let up on you. I'm the one who is sorry."

"Am I like Allan?" finally taking a bite of the food.

"In some ways, you are very loyal. That is a Quartermain trait if I ever saw one. Just, instead of being loyal to the family, you choose to put your loyalties... else where." She did not want to mention Sonny for fear she might start a fight. This was the first real conversation she had shared with her son in years. Jason looked away from her and for the first time wondered if his loyalty was in the right place.

"You and Allen have been through a lot." he changed the subject.

"Yes, we have."

"How have you managed to stay together?"

She smiled at his question, not sure why he was asking. "We love each other," she paused and watched him. He was studying her. "I guess when you really love someone you will put up with whatever they throw at you. No one's life is perfect; some challenges are more difficult to overcome than others. If you decided to work though it, you can overcome anything, and you will be rewarded in the end with a deeper love than you had to start with."

"But what if loving someone could end up hurting them?"

"That is part of love. Anyway, it's worse to be apart from the person you love."

"No, I'm not talking about emotional hurt. I mean they could get killed."

"I know what you mean, Jason. You have made choices that put you and others in difficult situations, dangerous situations. But it may be that being apart hurts more emotionally than the physical risk of being together. There are no guarantees, and aren't the risks not worth being happy?"

"Not if someone dies?"

"You don't have the right to make that decisions for her."

"What makes you think I'm talking about someone in particular?" Monica gave him one of those mother knows all looks. He sighed realizing he had been caught. "I don't have the right to ask anyone to risk their life to be with me."

"Maybe you are not asking. Could it be that she is offering because she would rather be with you that live without you. You have to let her make her own decision. Don't try to control her, Jason."

"I'm not trying to control anyone," he defended himself. She shook her head and got up from the stool she had rested on.

"Do you love her?" He did not answer. "Does she want to be with you?"

"She did, but she walked out, and I didn't stop her."

"Did you want her to go? To be out of your life?"

"Yes...no, I mean, I don't know. I think it is safer."

"So, you let her go. Pushed her away to protect her."

"Yes."

"You are controlling her."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. You manipulated the situation so she would leave, and you would not have to feel responsible if she got hurt. It was her choice to leave, and now she is safe. How am I doing so far?" He only looked away and out the window. "Jason, you are in love with Elizabeth. Everyone can see it but you."

"She will have a better life without me," he did not even try to deny the accusation.

"That is her decision to make not yours. If you do it for her, you are trying to control her, and you are no better than Edward."

His eyes flashed red at the thought. He believed in letting people make their own choices in life. That was why he let her walk out. Because it was what he thought she wanted. Or, he admitted to himself, was it what he wanted her to want.

Monica did not want to fight him. And she did not mean for her words to hurt him in anyway. She leaned over the bed, kissed his cheek. "If you eat, they might let you up to walk around tomorrow."

"Are you trying to bribe me like when I was little?" his smiled was accompanied by a little chuckle.

"Yes," she started toward the door.

"Hey, you don't know where my personal things are, do you?"

"I don't think you had anything except your clothes, but they were ruined. I know I saw your shoes, but nothing else. Is there something you need?"

Jason thought for a moment; he did not want to ask about his gun. The hospital would have turned it over to the police anyway.

"I was looking for my phone," he answered casually.

"I will check for you. In the mean time, the one on the table works." She smiled, "Now eat something, and I will check on you before I go home." Monica closed the door behind her.

Jason pushed the tray away and stared out the window. He soaked in the words deliver by the only person he could consider his mother. He knew her words were meant to help him, but her reference to Edward had cut him deep. He thought more about the language she used when discussing Elizabeth. How had she known it was Elizabeth he was talking about? Why did everyone think he was in love with her? He thought about Courtney and the pain he had caused her. He knew it was for the best. He could not commit to her the way she deserved. Maybe Monica's observation was right, maybe he was in love with Elizabeth.

*

Elizabeth busied herself with mundane details. She had met with the doctor about the house, gone to rent a storage space, and called New York about the possibility of still moving by the end of the month. She had found every excuse not to go to the hospital to see Jason. Now, here she stood looking down at the small card in her hand with her picture smiling back at her. Rick comfortably slid his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him. Planting a firm kiss on her cheek.

"Congratulations!" Her face grew a huge smile but she pulled away from him. "You finally figured out how to parallel park that boat and got your driver's license."

"Not like I'm going to use it in the city," she remarked.

"The city?" his tone hesitant. "You mean New York." She nodded, her daunting blue eyes withdrawn. "You are still planning to move?"

"I still don't see any reason to stay."

"I would like to see you stay." He reached for her hand, but in his taking it, she did not respond.

Her eyes began to pool. Why was he so nice to her? If things were different, she could lose herself forever in his deep dark gaze. Her heart just was not in it anymore. When he had first started showing her attention she was flattered, even willing to go with it. Now she could not earnestly encourage his romantic behavior any longer.

Turing her eyes up to greet his, the water hovered just on the edge. In one blink it spilled out onto her cheek. Her lips wore a sad smile as she started to speak, "Rick, you have been so good to me."

He preempted the immanent 'but,' "This is about Jason?"

"No," she shook her head profusely, but her heart knew it was a lie. His look questioned her, forcing her into the truth. "Well, not exactly...Well, not all of it." She search for words to explain something she did not fully comprehend herself. "Look, Jason is with someone else. He doesn't want me."

"Did he tell you that?"

"Well...no."

"Why do you think he showed up on your doorstep when he was stabbed?"

"My guess is that he was with Mike. And from what they said on the news, that alley where he was shot is only a block away from..."

"And you think it was a matter of convenience."

"Yeah," she had been telling herself this story since the incident. It hurt less to believe this then to think he still had feelings for her. To think, that when she walked out his door, he had let her go because that was what he wanted, not something she had forced on him, was strangely comforting to her. If that was not the case, than she would have to take some responsibility for their break up and him turning to Courtney. The thought of it churned in her stomach. She had to believe there were no feelings on Jason's part, so she could move forward with her life.

Rick studied the soft curve of her face. He pressed her hand to his lips and sighed. "I understand you have been through a lot. I think you should take this opportunity with what has happened to reexamine your feelings about Jason." Her eyes fell into uncertainty. "You are so hurt by the circumstances that you can't see your own feelings anymore." He pushed, "You still have very deep feeling for Jason, and, as much as I hate to say it, I suspect that it is mutual."

"Jason is not why I'm moving," she protested.

"I think that was true, in the beginning. You were so excited about the city and school."

"Yes, I still feel that way."

"Ok, but then, you were moving toward something. Now you are running away."

"Rick, you don't seem to get it. I have nothing here."

"I get that you are telling yourself that. But you are running. I know it when I see it, and you are."

"Why would I run from Jason? He has moved on, and so must I."

"No, the night he showed up at your studio, I think something else happened. Just thinking he might die brought back everything, didn't it?" The pages of her life were clear to him. She dropped her eyes not wanting to reveal the truth he already knew. "Elizabeth, if you leave now, like this. You will be running."

"So," she shrugged.

"So, you will have to live with the 'should ofs' and 'could have beens,' and regret it for the rest of your life." He repositioned himself. Lowering his body to gaze into her downcast eyes.

"So, counselor, what do I do?" she met his piercing stare.

"You go talk to Jason. If you find out that your were right, and that Jason has moved on and is happy. Then you can move forward, free of the uncertainties."

"And if he hasn't?"

"Well, that is up to you to decide." He squeezed her hand and started to step away.

"Rick, thank you."

"You're welcome."

"No, I mean it, you have been a great friend and have really been there for me. I'm sorry things couldn't...didn't..." she let the word trail.

"Me too," a sad smile on his lips.

*

Jason finished a slow paced walk around the halls of his floor. Brenda had actually been nice enough to bring him a robe he could wear around the hospital. He had asked for real clothes but she insisted on not bringing anything he could actually wear out of the place, afraid he might try to check himself out; and then they would be back in that dreadful courtroom again. He promised her that he would try not to make too speedy a recovery and hope that Taggert might figure out who really killed Alcazar. He had finally finished his third day of antibiotics so they removed the IV before he could pull the blasted thing out himself. He was still sore, and his stitches pulled if he twisted just a bit to the side. In all, he was feeling better by the day except that Elizabeth had not come back to visit him. He had picked up the phone more than once to dial her number but changed his mind every time. Courtney had not come back, but Carly came by a few times a day. The Quartermain doctors dropped by a lot, and Jason and Monica were starting to have really good conversations. Lila had even come to visit, saying she was in the hospital for a charity she chaired. He knew though, that it had been a special trip on her part.

Jason had spoke to Sonny on the phone but he had yet to come back to see him. He knew that Sonny knew everything that had happen with Courtney, and Carly said he was furious about it. Sonny was trying to cool off before coming to talk to him about it face to face.

Elizabeth waited impatiently at the nurses' station. The two nurses were busy gossiping about some doctor who was being sued for leaving an instrument or something in a patient after surgery. Finally she had gotten Jason's new room number and snaked her way trough the maze of halls. She had no idea what to say to him, but he had asked her to come back to see him. She was somewhat surprised that he was still even in the hospital knowing how he hated them. Approaching the last hallway, she took a sharp turn around the corner and nearly leveled the man approaching her at a snail's pace. She had not been watching where she was going and when their bodies made contact, she heard him groan at the impact.

"Sorry, I'm so sorr..." she looked up into the bluest eyes she had dreamed of for years now. He grabbed her elbow steadying her, even though he was the one in pain.

"Hey, watch out there Speedy Gonzales. You know there are injured people around here."

"Oh, Jason, I'm really sorry. Are you ok? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm fine," still holding on to her.

"Well, look at you, up and walking. A bit slowly though. Are you sure you are ok?"

"Yes, I'm only going slowly because I have no place to go. So why hurry." It sounded like perfect Jason logic to her and she let out a nervous laugh. He turned around and headed back toward the door to his room.

"I guess with Monica and Alan around you are getting the royal treatment."

"You might say that."

"I was kind of surprised to find you still in here. I figured you would wake up, get dressed, and leave without a thought."

"I would of if I could have had my way. However, there were two problems with that."

"Oh? What?"

"Well, clothes for one. No one will bring me any. I was lucky to get a robe." He gestured to the blue terrycloth wrapped around him.

"And the second?" she look up at him as she opened the door to his room.

"Oh, yes. Two is that Brenda basically threatened me to stay here until at least Valentines Day." Elizabeth laughed thinking of Jason following anything Brenda Barrett wanted him to do.

"Why is that?"

"Oh, as long as I'm in here, there is a hold on the trial. But I think Brenda has plans with Jax. So, as long as the trail is postponed, they can do... whatever it is they want to do."

"I see." Jason flipped the light switch on and made his way over to the bed. Elizabeth watched him as he wrapped one arm around his middle holding it as he lowered himself onto the stiff mattress. "Does it still hurt a lot?" She reached over and grabbed his arm around the bicep to offer assistance. He slid back against the bed leaving room for her to sit at the foot of the bed.

"No. I'm just stiff, and if I move to quickly I pull at all the stitches."

She looked around the room and spotted the book she had gotten him on the table. She picked it up and flipped through a few pages. "How is it?"

"I like it." He smiled at her. She could feel his eyes on her every move and it was making her self-conscious. She turned to look out the window avoiding his stare. "Elizabeth," she glanced back at him only to be captured by those oceans he had for eyes. "Do you, by any chance, have something of mine?" He was trying not to be too obvious with his question. Elizabeth at once knew what he wanted, and she felt stupid for not realizing it before. He wanted her to comeback so he could get his belongings. "It is just that, well..."

"Yes, Jason, I have your gun." She rolled her eyes exasperated. "Not on me, of course. It is at the house. In my laundry basket."

"Not exactly where I would think to keep it." He laughed at her, and thinking about it in with her dirty socks made her laugh too.

"I thought about bringing it to you, but what was I going to do? Hide it under your pillow here for someone to find when some pretty nurse came in to give you a sponge bath." Jason started to laugh again, and Elizabeth saw his face scrunch with tension.

"Please don't make me laugh. It hurts." But the face he made looked strange and it made her giggle even more. "Stop, this is not funny."

"I'm sorry." She had gotten the giggles somehow and was having a hard time stopping it. Jason reclined on the up-raised back of the bed and watched her. The smile on her lips and the shine in her eyes was nice to see. He could not even remember the last time he had seen her happy. Every time he had seen her over the past month she was hurting over something. More than once, he was the reason.

Without realizing it, he was staring at her. Taking in every movement as if he was memorizing it to recall at some unknown future event. All of a sudden, she became aware of his unwavering eyes on her, and she gathered in her breath and the laughter ceased. At first, she could only glance back at him. She could not read his expression, and she suddenly felt uneasy. Studying her, he wondered how he had ever let such an exquisite creature walk out his door. Silence fell over the room, and Elizabeth was searching for what to do next. "Oh," she grabbed her purse and opened it. Pulling out the small card she handed it to Jason. "Look," she watched him as he examined it, "I got my driver's license."

Jason smiled at the overexposed picture of the woman sitting in front of him. "Well, haven't you been busy."

"Now the next time you take me for a ride, I can drive."

"Oh, let's not push it." He teased, and all of a sudden, it felt like nothing had ever happen. They were both completely at ease laughing and joking. When he offered the card back to her, he pulled it away before she could grab it. She lost her balance and fell into him. She grabbed his arm for support, worrying she had hurt him. He only shook his head as he helped push her back to her seat. Her touch had felt electric to his skin, and he had wanted to pull her back toward him as he caught the light sent of winter wind in her hair. She tried to ignore the pull she was feeling. Told herself that it was only her wishful thinking.

Jason looked down. His eyes traced along her long slender fingers. He was just about to reach for her hand when they heard a voice call from the open door. "Hey, guys." The nurse and Elizabeth's old boss stood smiling holding a tray. "I've got something for you, Jason." She made her way over to the table where she deposited the tray.

"Is that suppose to be my dinner?" Jason's words playful, but there was a trace of annoyance in his voice.

The nurse leaned close to Elizabeth, "Jason doesn't care for the fine dinning at the hospital." Bobbie half whispered to her.

Elizabeth eyed the plate and removed its covering. Spying the gray looking meat and limp vegetables she glanced at the man in the blue robe. "Oh, I don't know, Jason. This doesn't look too bad." He rolled his eyes at her. "Hey, it could be worse. It could be soup," she laughed.

Bobbie asked Jason if he was in any pain or needed anything else. After a few more pleasantries she left. Elizabeth looked back at the plate of food. "Wow, green Jell-o for dessert. They really know how to treat a guy." He did not even look at the food he just kept his eyes on her. "I should go. It is getting late, and you need to eat if you can." She made a face as her eyes trailed back over his dinner.

"You don't have to run off."

"No, really, it is getting dark, and I'm not comfortable driving in the dark yet."

"What are you driving?" He was trying to picture what type of car would suit her.

"Oh, I inherited my grandmothers light blue Cadillac." Jason started to chuckle. It was not quite the picture he had in his mind of her behind the wheel. "What? It is a perfectly good car. It even has heated front seats."

"I'm sure it is fine. At least I won't have to worry if you have a wreck; because in that tank you would survive without a scratch."

"I admit, it is not the car I would have bought for myself. But it was free." She started to move off the bed when he captured her hand. She looked down at his fingers clasping hers. Her pulse quickened as she cautiously met his eyes. They were soft and gentle, peering through her in search of her feelings.

"I owe you..."

"You don't owe me anything," she interrupted.

"Yes, I do." She started to open her mouth but something in the way he looked stopped her. "I owe you an apology."

"An apology, for what?" She tilted her head a little.

"For hurting you." She looked down and tried to pull her hand free. He tightened his grip. Leaned in to her. Placing the back of his index finger under her chin, lifting her head so her eyes would come back to his. "For letting you leave without so much as a word. I have regretted that day with every moment that has passed." Elizabeth freed her hand, got off the bed and moved to look out the window. "I was so hurt, Elizabeth, that I did something really stupid." She was listening as she held her emotions in check. "I wanted to be with you so much that I just thought being with anyone would make it better." She turned her head back over her shoulder then slowly turned her body too. "It didn't."

"I don't think now is the time to talk about this. You are recovering from... well, you almost died." The words choking in her throat. "Neither one of us is thinking straight."

"No, that is just it. I finally am thinking straight."

Elizabeth was not ready for this. She could still feel the pain of seeing Jason and Courtney that afternoon in the entry of that building. The way she had felt betrayed. Then there was the way he had looked at her as he lay bleeding in her arms. The terror she experienced when his heart had stopped in the ambulance. It was all a jumble in her mind, and she did not know which way to go.

"Look, let's just not do this now." Her voice was soft as she walked back over to his bed. She wanted to accept his apology, but she just felt that they both needed some more time.

"They are going to let me out of here tomorrow or the next day. I could come by, we could talk then, and I can get my stuff from your laundry basket," he tried to let out a little laugh.

"Sure, but what about keeping that trail on hold?" She offered a gentle look.

"Actually, my attorney came by, and they have some evidence that points to someone else."

"Really, that sounds good," she picked up her purse. "Well, I'm going to go. Take care and don't forget to eat something." She gave a simple wave as she headed, a little too quickly, out his door.

Jason looked down at the tray that loomed in front of him. He picked at the different items presented on the plate and decided to eat the Jell-o. 'Even the hospital couldn't mess up Jell-o,' he thought. Pushing the table away he reach for his book when a dark figure shadowed the entry way. The man moved slowly into the room and he was almost to the foot of the bed before Jason looked up to greet his long time boss and friend.

The two men discussed Michael and Carly some. Then Sonny went over a few details from the warehouse. Jason knew, though, that he was there to discuss his sister. It did not take long for Sonny to start the conversation he was there for.

"Jason, I'm not looking for an apology or anything. I just can't understand why you did it."

"I did not mean to hurt Courtney."

"I know that. That is not what I'm upset about."

"What are you upset about then?"

*

Elizabeth had just about backed the car out of the parking space when she remembered Jason still had her driver's license. She was almost to his cracked door when she heard the angry tone of Sonny Corintios coming from the room.

"You knew I did not want Courtney anywhere near this life. But you went behind my back and pulled her right into it."

"That is not how it happened."

"I know Carly has tried over and over again to put this in your favor, but the truth is, I just can't trust you any more." Elizabeth stood shocked at the boss' words. Jason was loyal to Sonny to a fault. "When I ask you to carry out an order, I need to know it is going to be done."

"It is. You know I always take care of things for you, and you never ordered me not to see Courtney."

"I didn't think I needed to. I thought you had enough respect for my desire to keep my sister away from this life that you would stay away from her."

"You told me to guard her."

"Guard her yes, not date her."

"Look, it was not something either one of us went looking for. It just happened."

"Just happened. Things like this just don't happen. And what about Elizabeth? I thought you two were..." he stopped himself not sure what to say. "So what, you would use my sister. You are not the man I thought you were."

"I'm sorry about what happen with Courtney. It really had nothing to do with you."

"She is my sister. You knew how I felt, so this has every thing to do with me." Jason was again seeing his boss' selfish side.

"It is over. You know you have my fullest loyalty."

"Jason, you betrayed me and my family. I can't allow that to happen again." Sonny's words chilled the room.

"What are you saying?" Jason uncertain at what his boss was saying.

"I can't trust you anymore. That means I can't have you in the organization any more." Jason almost jumped from the bed. The heat of anger igniting his movements as he rose to face down the man.

"You can't just throw me out. I won't let you. We are equal and legal partners at the warehouse."

"I will buy you out." His remark quick.

"I'm not selling. And as far as the rest of it goes, there is only one way to get rid of me, and both of us knows what that means." The room fell silent for a moment as the two men glared at each other. Jason broke the silence, "and you don't have any one who would do it. They may say they are loyal to you, but I'm the one they have gotten their hands dirty with. They know me, and not one of them would dare come after me." Sonny studied his once friend. Jason's eyes were cold and calculating. He turned and walked away from him, "You would have to go to one of your enemies for that." There it was: a threat that would now hang between them.

Elizabeth covered her mouth, holding her breath. Fearing that they might discover her by the door. She could not believe the confrontation going on the room. She knew Jason would do any thing for Sonny and had in the past. Sonny needed Jason and Jason's whole existence revolved around Sonny and his family.

The mob boss stepped up to his enforcer. He grabbed his arm and in a cold husky voice, "I would never do that, but, I'm warning you, stay away from me, my family and my business."

Jason yanked his arm free and for the first time his skills that had served him so well were being directed at the man he had always felt he owed his life to. "You can't keep me away from Michael."

Something in the stillness of Jason's voice made Elizabeth realize that the situation was about to go from bad to worse. Before she knew it, her feet propelled her forward, and she pushed between the two dueling men. "That's enough." She pushed the men further apart. "Sonny, it is time for you to go." She had turned to face him square on. The dark man glared at her but did not move. "Get out!" She pointed toward the door. The man looked from his new nemesis to the petit woman defending him. Her command came out so cold and direct that to stunned Jason. Sonny's eyes narrowed as he and Jason exchanged a knowing look before he turned and walked out.

Elizabeth turned back to the man who she had just defended. She was still stunned by her own actions. He had dropped his gaze from the door to her. Then he turned and moved slowly back to the bed. Watching his gingerly taken movements, "Are you hurt?" She reach for his arm to help him. He pulled it away as her fingers brushed it.

"I'm fine. What are you still doing here?" He made her feel like an intruder, and his eyes were still cold and icy from the altercation.

"I came back because you still have my license." She could tell he was not really hearing her. "Jason, are you ok?" She watched as his arm went over his stomach. He did not answer, only stared out the dark window. She moved his arm and opened the robe. She could see the hospital gown was starting to turn red. "You've pulled your stitches. I'm going to call a nurse."

As she turned to push the nurse call button he caught her arm. "Elizabeth, what did you hear?"

"Most of it, I guess. I'm sure there were a few other people in the hall that heard parts of it too." What had surprised her was, that based on what was said, Jason should have been yelling and spilling over with anger. Instead, he had been cold, calm with force in his words. She knew how much Sonny meant to him, and that he must be hurting terribly. "I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding, and you two will work it all out."

Jason finally looked into her eyes. "No, you don't understand Sonny. When he says someone is out, they are out. End of it."

Elizabeth's heart skipped a beat. "You don't mean he is going to..." she could not bring herself to say the words.

Jason saw the fear in her eyes and suddenly he was not concerned about Sonny anymore. "No, he won't." He took her hand and his features went soft. He brought it to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the soft delicate skin. He looked intently into her eyes. He realized for the first time she knew who and what he was, and she was still there. He was about to speak when Monica came in.

The doctor asked if he had called for the nurse. Elizabeth explained that he had pulled his wound open. The doctor asked her to leave. Elizabeth and Jason did little more than say good-bye as an unspoken understanding about what had happen passed through their eyes.

When she had gotten home she found his leather jacket in with his other items of her laundry basket. She sat down running her fingers over the sticky substance that had soaked the garment. Dropping it to her lap she closed her eyes as knowledge and uncertainty washed over her.