Chapter Nineteen

Connor felt horrible for the way he had treated Angel, he now realized how much Angel really loves him and has loved him all this time, he just felt so ashamed now, he felt he didn't deserve Angel's love. Connor thought to himself that he's been the worst son a father could have. All those thoughts and feelings made Connor cry even harder on Angel's shoulder. He was still so angry that Holtz put him against his real father, the only father that has truly loved him. Connor felt horrible that he had let himself be used like that by the demon he thought was Cordelia. Angel didn't know what to do or say while he held his crying son close to him, all he did was cradle him a bit. Angel just wanted to take away the pain his son was feeling but he knew he couldn't all he could do was be there for his son and love him and help Connor heal all the pain he had inside.

Angel: Connor everything is going to be all right.

Connor: No it won't be! Nothing will ever be "all right" just when I think things will actually be "all right" something like this happens, there will always be something that will ruin everything.

Angel just held Connor closer to him and hugged him tighter.

Angel: I'm here Connor and I always will be and I will try my best make everything all right for you, I would do anything for you you're my pride and joy you can't imagine how much I love you.

Connor just continued to cry he felt so vulnerable for the first time. At the same time he felt safe in his fathers embrace.

Angel: Talk to me son I know your going though a hard time right now I just think you'll feel a little better if we talk about.

Connor was not used to talking about what he felt inside, he usually kept everything inside and tried to forget it ever existed. Connor slowly pulled away from Angel's embrace and looked into his father's concerned eyes.

Connor: Dad I feel kind of lost, I feel like I'm going to go crazy.. I feel like I deserved what that demon posing as Cordelia did to me; I'm just so sorry dad-

Angel: I know son and I forgave you a long time ago.. and your wrong you didn't deserve the pain that demon caused you, it happened it's done there's nothing we can do about it all we can do is move on and leave the past behind us.

Connor felt tears stroll down his face once more he hated feeling like this he just wanted his pain to stop. Angel saw the pain in his son's eyes and hugged him protectively against his chest. After a few minutes Connor stopped crying completely, Angel kissed Connor's forehead.

Angel: Are you hungry?

Connor nodded like a little boy.

Angel: Ok let's go downstairs and order some takeout.

Angel and Connor made their way downstairs together. Once downstairs they saw Cordelia and Nicole, they joined them in the lobby. Nicole is a gifted demon; she can look into some ones eyes and find out what their thoughts and feelings are. She hates this gift, that's one of the reasons she drinks alcohol so much, it numbs her pain and temporarily takes her abilities away. When she's drunk she feels she can be normal, normal is something she really wants to be but never can. When Nicole saw Connor, she immediately looked into his eyes and saw what he was feeling and thinking, just by looking into his eyes she found out what happened between Connor and Angel. Nicole felt and saw the hurt Connor was feeling just by looking into his eyes. Connor noticed Nicole staring into his eyes and he got a little freaked out.

Connor: Are you ok?

Nicole: You're not ok.

Connor: What? The one who's not ok is you; you have some serious mental problems or something.

Angel: Connor-

Connor: She's crazy

Nicole: I'm not crazy! I'm just different all right, I saw and felt the pain people feel every time I look into their eyes, and I see and feel what their thinking and feeling.

Cordelia: It's ok, it's quite normal half of the population of LA is demons even I'm half demon.

Nicole: I don't even know what type of demon I am.

Cordelia: We'll help you figure that out.

Angel: Yeah we'll help you out but you need to help us out too.

Cordelia: We need to know if you know who Levee and Burthow are?

Nicole didn't know what to say she wanted to tell them because they've been nothing but nice to her but she was scared that if she told them they would think she was evil like Levee and Burthow.

Angel: Nicole just tell us

Nicole: I really want to be straight with you guys' but-

Connor: She not going to tell us anything that will help us, I have a feeling she's on their side.

Nicole: Shut the hell up twerp you don't know shit; I'm not fucking evil all right! Do you understand that! do all of you understand that!

Angel: Yes we understand we really just need to stop Levee and Burthow before they do something horrible.

Cordelia: Angel's right we really need to find out more that can help us stop Levee and Burthow.

Nicole: Fine! I know them ok! They helped me out when I needed helping if it wasn't for Levee I wouldn't even know I was a demon. They're not that evil they're just misunderstood.

Connor: What do you mean misunderstood! they're up to no good, Levee did something to Buffy's dad and Burthow looks like he wants to end the world.

Nicole: I've already told you what I know! I'm tired I'm going to get some rest now I don't want to deal with anymore bullshit right now.

Connor was really getting on Nicole's nerves. Nicole went upstairs to the room she occupied earlier to cool off she was pretty upset.

Cordelia: I have a feeling she'll tell us what we need to know.

Connor: Yeah right.

Angel: Connor!

Cordelia: So how did things go between you guys?

Angel: Good, Connor's hungry so I was planning on ordering take out, you hungry?

Cordelia: Yeah I have a craving for Chinese food. Connor you like Chinese food right?

Connor: I've never tried it. Cordelia: You'll love it. I'm going to order some right now.

Cordelia felt good things worked out ok for Angel and Connor but she knows Connor still needs some time to heal a lot of the emotional pain he feels. While Cordelia was ordering Angel and Connor sat in the main lobby. Angel couldn't stand to see the hurt in Connor's eyes. Angel even tried to cheer Connor up a by telling him he was planning on letting him fight demons again the following week if he behaved himself.

Connor: So that would mean I'm not grounded anymore?

Angel: That just means I might let you fight demons next week, they'll still be some things your not allowed to do so in a way you'll still be grounded.

Connor: This sucks

Angel: You do the crime you do the time

Connor: I didn't even do a crime

Angel: You know exactly what you did it was just as bad.

Connor: It'll be really good to start fighting demons again I think it'll help me.

Cordelia finished ordering the take out food.

Cordelia: The food will be here in 15 minutes.

Levee had been practically all over LA looking for Nicole, Burthow was growing impatient he really wanted Nicole to help them out with their plan. Levee got tired of looking for Nicole so she headed back where she and Burthow were staying.

Levee: Burthow I can't find Nicole anywhere it's like Nicole disappeared.

Burthow: She will be found we'll find her.

Levee: I don't think she wants to be found, the last time I saw her she was really upset with you, what happened?

Burthow: That child stole from me and I confronted her about it and she denied the whole thing-

Levee: I've been telling you Nicole will only bring us more problems she cannot be trusted.

Burthow: If we like it or not we need her. Almost exactly 15 minutes later the Chinese food came. Cordelia practically ran to the door and got the food, Connor was starving.

Cordelia: Connor go ask Nicole if she's hungry.

Connor was about to tell Cordelia "no" but he stopped himself when he caught a glare from Angel, Angel knew his son would object, he knew Connor hated taking orders from anybody. Connor slowly went upstairs to ask Nicole if she was hungry when he got to her door he heard her crying, he knocked on her door and he heard no response so he then let himself in.

Nicole: Did I say you could come in? No! I didn't did I?

Connor: This isn't even your room! What's wrong with you why are you-

Nicole: It's none of your business; you have it so good you know that.

Connor: Yeah right nothing is good in my life

Nicole: Yes everything is good in your life, you have people who love and care about you, you have a dad who would do anything for you, he loves you more than anything, to me you have it really good I wish I could at least have it half as good as you.

Connor: Are you hungry!

Nicole: No!

Connor: Good!

Connor then stormed out of the room and goes downstairs.

Angel sees Connor and notices how angry he is. Connor was angry and he couldn't hide it.

Angel: I heard some screaming. What happened up there?

Connor: Nothing, she just got on my nerves.

Cordelia: She's not hungry?

Connor: No she's not hungry but I am.

Cordelia: Ok then lets eat here's your food. Cordelia handed Connor his food and he starts eating it, he's really enjoying what he's eating.

Cordelia: So you like it?

Connor just nods.

Cordelia: Good! I knew you would.