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Sam was sitting in her quarters, she was just thinking. Well, that and she wascrying her eyes out again. Why does everything bad have to happen to me, and in the space of a week? Those last few words Jack said to her keep haunting her. 'I care about you too much...' He cared about her, but did that mean he loved her? Or did he just think about her as a dear friend? She would be able to find out. They couldn't spend any moretime together anymore. They couldn't talk, laugh, or just hang out together. She would never see him again. She wished that this last week would just start over again. Then they could have discussed those things earlier, they could have never gone to that planet, and Jack wouldn't have died. They could have been happy together, the way they always were. Could have, but not now.

Sam heard someone knocking on her door. It reminded her of a time just like this. When she was in there, crying over Martouf and Jack came to comfort her. He would never be able to do that again. She would never see him, hear him, or feel him hold her in his arms again. With that thought she start crying even harder.

The knocking wouldn't stop. So, finally she yell, "Go away!"

"Sam, I want to talk to you."

Sam could tell that it was Janet. She really didn't want to see anyone right now, but she knew Janet wouldn't leave until she saw her, so Sam got up and opened the door. Jaet came in and looked at Sam.

"You want to talk about what happened on that mission?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

Sam paused for a moment. "There's nothing to talk about." She turned and walked away from Janet hoping that she would get the hint that she wanted to be left alone. Janet didn't of course, she knew Sam was lying. Sam never had really been a good liar.

"What? Sam, tell me what happened. Daniel really wants to know. He told me that after he was shot he doesn't really remember anything that happened. I haven't told him about Colonel O'Neill yet. I thought that maybe you would want to do that. Also, I don't really know what happen to the Colonel."

"How is Daniel? Is he going to be ok?"

"Yeah, he's going to be fine. He won't be allowed back on duty for a while, but he'll live."

Sam almost started crying again when she said that... but he'll live... She wished the doctor was saying that about someone else.

"I think I'll go see him, make sure he's alright." Sam started to leave to go to the infirmary, but Janet stood in her way.

"Sam, please, just sit down and tell me what happened. And stop trying to change the subject."

She realized that she was not going to be able to get out of the room without telling Janet everything. So, she gave in and started talking. "Do you really want to know what happened?" Janet nodded and waited for Sam to continue. Sam took a deep breath to try to calm herself and started. "He died. He died right in front of me. He was shot by some Jaffa. I ran over to him. I knew it was bad when I first saw him, but I just refused to accept it. He told me to leave, but I wouldn't. Teal'c had to practically drag me away. I didn't want to leave him. No one gets left behind, remember? That's what he always told us. But we left him."

"But you're not telling me everything, are you?" Sam just stared ahead at the floor. "Come on Sam, I'm your friend. You can tell me anything."

Sam paused before she continue. "I loved him. I finally realized this resently and now I can't do anything about it. I don't even know if he felt the same. He told me he cared about me. Cared about me? What does that mean? Like a friend? Or something more?" Sam felt the tears sliding down her cheeks again and she couldn't hold it back anymore. "Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't we have had a chance together? If only I had been paying attention to what was happening. Then maybe I could have noticed the enemy approaching and we could have gotten off that world safely and Jack wouldn't have died."

Janet pulled Sam to her and huged her tightly. Sam sobbed into her shoulder as Janet tried her best to comfort Sam.

"No, Sam. Don't think like that. You can't go back and change things that have already happened. You don't know if you could have done anything different." Sam tried to interrupt but Janet stopped her. "No, I don't want to hear it."

They stayed like that for a while. Until Sam moved away from her. Sam was tring to pull herself together. I'm supposed to be a strong confident Major in the US Air Force, but here I am in my room trying to keep myself from falling apart.

Janet gots up to leave. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. There's patients I need to check on." She stopped and added. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Sam shook her head, "Not unless you can bring Jack back."

*****

SG-11 was supposed to go back to that planet. They were going to bring back Jack's body so at least he could have a proper burial. Sam had a talk with the General and convinced him to let her go along too. She knew it would hurt to go back there, to see him, but it is something she had to do.

So there she was waiting for the gate to finish dialing. Everyone kept asking her if she was sure she wanted to do this. She always told them the same answer, "I have to." She walked up the ramp, ready to face her nightmare. She closed her eyes and stepped through.

On the other side she opened her eyes. "Something's wrong," she say as soon as she looked around. "This isn't right. Where is everything?" This couldn't be right. It has to be a dream or something. She looked at the place where she last saw Jack, but there was nothing there. What did they do with him?

"What do you mean, Major?" Captain Warren asked.

"He's gone. Why would they do that? Who would do that?"

They continued looking around for an hour, but found nothing that would tell them what happened to Jack. All they found were a few of the dead Jaffa they had managed to shoot down before they had to run. There were blood stains and foot prints everywhere, but that was normal. Reluctantly they returned through the Stargate. How were they going to explain this to the General? To tell the truth, no one had any idea what was going on.

Sam took one last look around hoping to see something, anything that would tell her what happened. She found nothing however. She turned and walked through the gate. Back at the SGC General Hammond was waiting for them. "Sir," Sam started, not quite sure how to tell him. "There was nothing."

"Excuse me?" He asked in confusion. She couldn't explain it to him better because she was just as confused as he was.

"Nothing was there. I don't know how, or why, but...."

"Ok. Why don't you come to my office and tell me exactly what happen?"

"Yes, sir."





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