Disclaimer: I DON'T own Ranma 1/2 (is this really neccesary any more?)
*text*=thoughts
[text]=Chinese
Chapter 5
Shampoo, Mousse, and Conditioner were walking down the streets of Nerima. A very funny sight to anonymous passerby indeed. Conditioner was hanging all over Mousse's arm, pointing out random objects, saying things like, Ooooh! Turd! or What big feet you have!. Mousse was just kind of detached from the world. Shampoo was ignoring them both, but sniggering under her breath at all of Conditioner's out-of-place comments.
That morning Shampoo had taught Conditioner Nerima's basics. Always glomp your loved one, don't go anywhere without a bicycle, be prepared to fight any rival for love, or any martial artist that lived there, and she had taught her how to materialize random buckets of water of different temperatures. (Well, these are Nerima's basics by Shampoo's standards)
And so, the three were on their way to have a fun day to themselves. *And maybe I'll find Ranma!* Shampoo smiled to herself. Somewhere during the afternoon, they decided they were hungry and set off to find a resteraunt. And what do you know? They spotted Ucchan's Okonomiyaki right across the street! [Let's go there! Let's go there!] Conditioner was bouncing up and down all to happily.
Hi, Welcome to Ucchan's! The special today is... Ukyo trailed off noticing who her customers were. She wasn't all that happy to see Shampoo, she didn't mind Mousse, but she didn't recognize that other person...
Hello spatula girl. We is here for lunch Ukyo gave Shampoo a look that clearly said, don't you own your own resteraunt' but decided to let it slide, seeing as how Ran-chan wasn't here. Well, you three gonna order or what? Mousse seemed to come out of a daze as he shook his head. Hey, we're at the okonomiyaki place! Shampoo rolled her eyes.
Ukyo sweatdropped. Oh, right. Mousse and Shampoo ordered the special, but Conditioner just kept sitting there smiling. Ukyo leaned over to her seat. Well, what'll it be, sugar? Conditioner smiled up at her and said, I love you. Would you like some soy sauce? Ukyo sweatdropped again.
Eventually they all got it right and started eaing their food, that Ukyo had prepared in record time. So, who's the new one? Ukyo pointed at Conditioner. Mousse kind of off-handedly said, Oh, this is Kon Di Xian Ur. She came to kill Ranma and Shampoo. Ukyo shrugged. Is that all? Shampoo chimed in. No, she desperatly in love with Muu-Tsu, like my love for Ranma!
Ukyo glared at Shampoo. I thought you loved Mousse! Shampoo hmphed and tossed her hair aside. Who love stupid, ugly, blind, duck-boy! Ukyo kind of cringed at the insults. *poor guy* Mousse got all teary and looked at Shampoo. Shampoo nodded. And you forget stupid, Stupid. Mousse started bawling. Oh, Shampoo! Why do you hate me!
Suddenly Conditioner touched his face and looked at him meaningfully. Wo ai ni, Airen. Mousse looked at her in shock. *No one's....EVER said that to me!* [Er....Kon Di...I...I...] Shampoo smiled. [Aw, you are so cute together! Little duck-boy and...um....gun girl!] Conditioner shot her a look. Out from under her robes she pulled out another machine gun. [What did you say?]
Ukyo, left in the dark, started to reach for the phone, for she had every intention of dialing 911. Until Ranma walked in with Akane. Um, Ukyo? What's going on? Ukyo threw her arms in the air. That's it! I can't take it! Here I am, trying to run a resteraunt, when in come these Chinese people who appear to have guns and are threatening each other and speaking their native language and I can't understand them and they order food which they haven't paid for yet and then they appear to have guns and start threatening each other and speaking their native language and I can't understand them and they order food which they haven't paid for yet and-
Ranma and Akane cut off her incoherent babbling. Oh, sorry. Shampoo Mousse and Conditioner seemed to have frozen in their positions: Conditioner with a machine gun in Shampoo's face, Shampoo looking completely freaked out, and Mousse daydreaming about God knows what.
Ranma walked over and attempted to pry the gun from Kon Di's hands. She wheeled on him, looking very menacing despite her small stature. She meant to say, Any closer and Shampoo dies but it kind of came out as, Any pickles and turtles ressurect
Mousse came out of his daydream. [Ah! Kon Di! Why do you have a gun in Shampoo's face!?] Conditioner seemed to forget what she was doing and her gun disappeared. [Muu-Tsu!] She glomped him.
Shampoo finally realized that Ranma was in the room. Airen! You come find Shampoo? So happy! Akane pounded Ranma with her mallet and Ukyo whipped out her spatula and hit Shampoo. Mousse jumped over to Shampoo with Conditioner around his waist. Oh Shampoo! The pain this pervayer of delicious food has inflicted upon you! Please don't die!
Shampoo woke up in time to dump a bucket of water on Mousse. [Aw, ducky-Mousse is sooooo cute!] Conditioner huggled Mousse. Ukyo interrupted them. Ahem, you still haven't paid me! Shampoo snapped her fingers. [Muu-Tsu, where is the money I know you brought?] Shampoo went through his robes that were piled on the floor that he had been standing moments before he had been turned into a duck, courtesy of Jusenkyo and bucket space! Brought to you from the creators of mallet space!
Mousse! There no is money in robes! Or weapons either, but that beside point! What kind of stupid man bring two lovely girl on date and no bring money?! Is too too pathetic! Mousse began a series of quacking that no one could understand before Conditioner remembered how to materialize some hot water. Mousse got up and put on his clothes in the blink of an eye.
Here you go, Ukyo. Shampoo's eyes widened. Aiyaa! Where you get money? There no money when Shampoo check! Mousse smiled. Ah, but there weren't weapons either! Everyone gave him a weird look. Oh, never mind.
Ranma and Akane finally sat down and ordered their food. Ukyo finally go paid. And just as they were leaving the resteraunt, Conditioner poured a bucket of cold water on Mousse. [Ducky-Muu-Tsu!] She glomped him and the three Amazons (Well, two Amazons and a duck) walked off towards the Neko-Hanten.
A/N-Hey guess what? Starting next chapter, this story might actually have a real plot! Yay! Oh, and thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are the best! ^_^ (I tried to make this chapter a little longer than the others, did I do okay?)
