Disclaimer: I SWEAR I don't own Ranma 1/2! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME!?

*text*=thoughts
[text]=Chinese

Chapter 1

We once again join our characters in the Cat Cafe. Conditioner had been staying in Nerima for about two months. Every day was the same old thing: Conditioner glomping Mousse, Mousse's brain shorting out, and Shampoo getting huffy and running off to find her And frankly, Mousse was getting sick of it.

[Airen! Muu-Tsu! Good morning! Did you have a nice sleep? Oooh ooh! Let me brush your hair! Your hair is so long and pretty Muu-Tsu!] Mousse was staring into the mirror in his bathroom with bags under his eyes. He was attempting to brush his teeth around Kon Di's pestering.

[What are you doing in my room.] Mousse said, with a mouthful of toothpaste. He didn't seem to be getting upset of bashful this morning, and Conditioner was obviously worried. [Muu-Tsu? Are you feeling okay?] She hopped in front of him and felt his forehead, a concerned look on her face. [You don't feel sick...]

*Ah, she's so cute when she's worried. Oh well, today's the day I break the news to her. I'm deeply in love with Shampoo, and no one will come between our love!* [Muu-Tsu?] Kon Di's voice broke his concentration. Conditioner pouted. She hated when people spoke Japanese in front of her. It wasn't fair. Even if it was her Muu-Tsu. She and stomped out of the room.

Mousse shrugged. *Oh well, now I can take care of my OWN personal hygiene...* His thoughts were cut off as Shampoo bounded into the room. Mousse, great-grandmother want talk to us. She sitting with Kon Di downstairs. With that she left. *Gone already. She never stays and talks to me.* Mousse returned to his mirror thinking that maybe today wasn't going to be so great after all...

He didn't know how right he was. He walked downstairs to find Cologne, Shampoo, Ranma, Akane, Genma, Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi, Ukyo, Kuno, Kodachi, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Gosunkugi, Pantyhose Taro, and pretty much everyone even minutely having anything to do with him was sitting downstairs in their best clothing.

Um....why are you here? And dressed up? As he looked he noticed that even Shampoo was wearing beautiful clothing. (A/N so was Cologne, but she wasn't really the first thing on his mind, ^^;) Suddenly Ryoga burst in. I made it! Good thing I got the wedding invitation 3 weeks ago...

Mousse's eyes widened. Wedding? Who's getting married... Ukyo, Nabiki, Kasumi, Kodachi, and Akane ran up and grabbed him. They threw him into a dressing room. Ukyo shouted to the others. Quick! Find the groom's suit! Some one tossed it to them and they changed Mousse into formal apparel in record time.

Before Mousse knew it, he was standing at an altar that had apparently appeared in the middle of the Cat Cafe. A priest had come with it. And so it was, Mousse was preparing himself to get married to some random person without his own consent. When the organ player(who had also appeared) began playing Here comes the bride.

Mousse didn't trust himself to turn around. Was he marrying Shampoo? Was Cologne making him marry Kodachi or something? He shuddered at the thought. All he knew was he was scared to find out exactly who was walking down the aisle. When all of a sudden, he realized that it had to be the only person that wasn't gathered when he had first walked downstairs. That would mean...

Slowly he turned around. Sure enough, Conditioner was walking down the aisle blushing in a gorgeous white dress. Mousse gaped in awe for a moment before realizing that he would be marrying Kon Di, having to forget his love for Shampoo. He looked into the crowd, noticing that Ranma was looking pretty angry. Now he would have to deal with Shampoo, without Mousse stopping her.

Mousse began wondering what Shampoo thought about all of this. *If she looks overjoyed....I'll marry Kon Di and forget her. But if she looks sad...* He looked over at Shampoo. Shampoo, for some reason, looked like she was going to murder the floor the way she was glaring at it. *Ah crap! I didn't think about if she got mad! I guess I'll have to wing it...*

Conditioner arrived at the alter after what seemed like an eternity. She looked at Mousse and smiled at him. The priest began the vows. Do you, Conditioner, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold in sickness and in health, until death do you part? Conditioner seemed to be on cue, as if she had done this a million times.

She then said the only correct phrase she had ever said in Japanese. I do. The priest nodded smiling and turned to Mousse. And do you, Mousse, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold in sickness and in health, until death do you part? Mousse gulped and looked around at the reception. He saw all his friends and rivals..okay, just rivals. He had never had any real friends other than Shampoo and Kon Di...

*That's right! She's my friend! I don't want to lose that, but I don't want to marry her either! I guess I could be happy, we could have little kids running around with purple hair and...but Shampoo!* He looked at Shampoo again. This time it seemed as if she were pleading with him. That decided it.

I can't. The whole reception gasped, and Cologne threw a fit in her seat. Conditioner looked shocked for a moment before her eyes filled to the brim with tears. Instead of bawling like she usually did, she just slowly took off her veil. A single tear ran down her cheek and she looked up at Mousse. [Why, Muu-Tsu?]

Mousse took a deep breath, because all in all, this was pretty embarrassing. [Because I love Shampoo] Conditioner cried now, not bawling, just cried. [All right. I won't bother you any more.] With that, she ran out of the Cat Cafe. Mousse sighed and looked up, but didn't quite manage, as he was hit on the head with a mallet, spatula, a bon-bori, and a ribbon wrapping around his neck.

ACK! help! The girls glared at him for a minute before yelling, and leaving the building. Except Shampoo, who looked like Mousse had just killed the whole tribe. [How DARE you do that to her, and say TO HER FACE that it was because you loved me!] Mousse gave her an incredulous look. [You looked at me like you were upset! It broke my heart...] Shampoo switched to Japanese. MOUSSE NO BAKA!!! Shampoo no looking at you weird! Shampoo was choking on yakisoba noodle I ate earlier!

Mousse got one of those looks he gets when some one around him does something stupid. He suddenly remembered Kon Di. *She's my friend! I must stop her from doing something rash!* With that he ran into a wall, regained his composure, found his glasses, and ran out the door. [Kon Di! Where'd you go!? Kon Di! Kon Di Xian Ur!] He ran into something. It turned out to be Ryoga. You jerk. How could you do something like that...AT YOUR OWN WEDDING! Then Mousse got a bright idea.

Ryoga! I didn't see where Conditioner went! Did you? I have to find her! Ryoga looked down and figured it was for the best. All right, I'll lead you right to her. Mousse looked all happy and hugged a nearby pole. Thanks Ryoga! You're the best! Ryoga sweat dropped.

~~~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~~~~~

A dark figure sat in his chair, somewhere deep below the earth. Slowly the figure lifted it's hand to it's crystal ball, revealing Conditioner desperately running away from her supposed wedding. If you could have seen the figure's face from beneath it's hood, you would have seen the smile spread slowly across it's face. It's been a while since I messed up some person's life. This one looks perfect. Cackling, the figure retreated into the shadows of it's lair...




A/N-Okay okay, that was retarded. Sue me. Anyway, I haven't updated in a while. Gomen nasai! And this chapter doesn't seem like a short fic to me, but it was fun to write anyway! ^-^ Uh, Mousse seemed like a JERK to me there for a minute, so I made him act stupid. Mousse: Hey!
Ukyo: Hahaha, you deserved it.
Mousse: I don't think I did, who told ME that I was waking up to a wedding? Anybody? NO! So I'm not a jerk...
Ukyo: *cough*yes *cough* you are *cough*
Mousse:Grrrrrrrrrr...