Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or much of anything else.

Author's Note: I have gone back and fixed grammatical problems, as well as some wording which bothered me.

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Chapter One: The Hanyou's Decision

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Kagome lay on her side, hands limp in front of her, her eyes open but vacant, unseeing. She couldn't cry any more. How could she? She had no tears left. She spent most of the last week crying, and she had to get over it. This was her life now. Inuyasha had made his decision, and she felt this time, no matter what, she wouldn't see him again.

In the time since her return, he hadn't come to get her, hadn't come to see if she'd help them find the shards. She knew he was with her. Kikyou. With that thought, the dull ache in her heart flared again to the burning pain, and tears leaked out of her already red swollen eyes.

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Inuyasha sat on his tree branch and stared miserably up at the stars. How could he have done this? He knew how much Kagome loved him, and knew how loved her. She didn't deserve his cruelty. His expression hardened. He clamped a firm hand on his resolve. He wasn't going back. He couldn't. He'd given his word to Kikyou. After all, she'd come back again.

He looked at the woman sleeping on the ground below him. She seemed to sleep the sleep of innocence. He smiled softly. The emotion in his eyes indiscernible. How he wished things were different. If they were, would he have wished his and Kikyou's lives would have continued as they should have before Naraku's interference? Or would he wish Kikyou had stayed dead? These were questions he didn't want to answer. Thoughts of Kikyou haunted him while he was with Kagome; thoughts of Kagome haunt him now that he was with Kikyou.

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Two Weeks earlier:

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They were a day's walk from Kaede's village, back from searching for Naraku's current whereabouts, when Inuyasha noticed the soul-carrying youkai. At his exclamation of surprise, everyone looked at him. Following his gaze, they all realized the importance of his discovery.

Inuyasha looked at Kagome with pain filled eyes, haunted by the memory of the one those youkai represented. Kagome looked on sadly, knowing he would have to go find the undead miko. She looked away and didn't say anything. She knew he would do this, even though he promised he wouldn't. Still, it didn't make it any easier, the knowing.

The hanyou stood and watched the soul carrying youkai hover at a place in the distance. He took at step, and looked back. Kagome wouldn't look at him. Indecision tore at his being. He'd promised not to leave her again. Not to leave her to search for Kikyou. She had known. She knew back then he couldn't hold to the promise he had made. He dropped to his knees beside her. "Kagome..." he couldn't speak. His hand reached out to touch her.

"Go." Her voice came to his ears, quiet, and sad.

His hand dropped. He bowed his head. He couldn't meet the eyes of his friends who stared at him in silence. They willed him to not make this choice he was making. "I'll be back. I have to see." He murmured before rising. He walked slowly to the edge of their camp before looking back. Kagome still hadn't turned, but her head was now in her hands, and her shoulders slumped and shook. He hesitated, torn. A soul carrying youkai swept closer, almost beckoning him, and he turned again.

Kikyou wasn't far from their camp. She was badly battered, and she seemed to not be able to move. She lay where she had fallen, her youkai circling around her in anxiety. Inuyasha ran to her, cradling her head in his lap, stroking her hair. "Kikyou..." He whispered. "You're alive."

Her eyes opened, pain laced, and weary. "For now." She managed to breathe out. "Inu... yasha.." She closed her eyes again, and seemed to be drifting away. As more of her youkai swirled around them, she started to gain strength. Her eyes opened again. They looked brighter. "Inuyasha, you came to me." She smiled. "I knew you would."

He brushed her hair from her face. "I will always come for you. I will always be there for you." He whispered back.

She smiled again as she closed her eyes, "Liar." she said.

Inuyasha jerked back in shock. "I will. I won't leave you again. I won't let any harm come to you any more Kikyou." He vowed fervently, trying not to remember he'd said the same words to Kagome some few days before.

She opened her eyes and sat up with his help. When she could, she looked on him with a pitying expression. "As long as your heart is divided, you will always be divided. As long as I live, and that girl stays here, you will never be able to choose." She touched his cheek and smiled again.

He smiled at her and held her in his arms. She seemed so warm to him, the Kikyou he fell in love with more than fifty years before. "Kikyou. I… I don't know…" His voice trailed off. He could no more offer an explanation to her than he could Kagome.

Her hand stroked his cheek again. Her eyes held a sadness and a yearning. "It doesn't matter. I will be alright. I can manage on my own."

Inuyasha crushed her to his chest again. "I'll protect you Kikyou. I'll keep you safe."

She closed her eyes and whispered against his chest. "I need you Inuyasha. I know how to find and beat Naraku. I now know his weakness, but I need your strength, I need your arm, and I need your protection."

Inuyasha looked at the woman before him, asking bewilderedly, "Naraku? You know where he is?" and then stronger, ready to take action. "We can all go together and wipe him out."

Kikyou shook her head. "No, I need you to protect me. I need your undivided protection." She let her request sink in before she continued. "I need to gather my strength before we can begin. Tell me, Inuyasha, will you help me defeat Naraku for what he has done to us? For what he has taken from us?" Her eyes pleaded with him.

Thoughts flooded his mind. 'How can I abandon Kagome like this again? How can I leave Miroku and Sango out of defeating Naraku? I can't leave Kikyou to face Naraku alone. I have to go with her. Kagome will understand, she has to understand.' With firm resolve, he looked at the woman before him. "Let's get Naraku. How long do you need to heal?"

Kikyou thought a moment before replying, "I'll come to you at dusk in a week. At my sister's hut. Please Inuyasha, be alone." She had risen and begun to drift away.

"Kikyou!" Inuyasha cried out. When she turned, he ran to her, and pulled her in a hug. "I'm glad you are alive." He said softly into her hair.

A look of happiness crossed her face before she hugged him back. They stood holding each other for several minutes. Kikyou pushed herself from him and turned away. "I'll be back in a week."

Inuyasha watched as she drifted from the woods, and out of sight. He stood trying not to think of what he'd just done. He loved Kikyou and he owed her. She died for him.

Finally, not knowing what else to do, he walked back to the camp.

Everyone was asleep, or so he thought. He looked at each one silently, his mind in turmoil. Sango sleeping on her blankets with Kirara curled at her side. Miroku sleeping with his back against a tree, and his staff leaning against his shoulder. Kagome... she lay curled in a ball on her side in her sleeping bag. Shippou wrapped around her head, with a paw lightly stroking her hair. Inuyasha could see the pain and hurt in the girl's face. His heart broke at the sight. He was torn again. He couldn't do this to her. He walked towards the girl, wanting to wake her, talk with her, when a slight noise caught his attention.

Miroku stood and motioned Inuyasha away before he could touch Kagome. Inuyasha frowned and shook his head. Miroku stared and motioned him away from camp again. Together, they walked from camp, out of earshot of the sleeping girls.

After sitting on the grass, Miroku sighed. "Are you sure of your decision?"

Inuyasha grunted. He wavered again. "No. Kagome … I can't..." He stopped that train of thought. He lowered his head. "I have to go with Kikyou." He said in quiet misery.

The monk nodded. "Then make sure you do the right thing for Kagome-sama. Do not let her live with this pain you keep creating for her. Do you understand?"

The hanyou simply nodded. If he went back to Kagome now, his resolve would break, and he wouldn't leave with Kikyou. He knew if he didn't put an end to this now, he would continue to break Kagome's heart, and never be able to protect Kikyou. "Please lead them back to the village. I need to go. I need to think." He looked at his friend, one of his very few, and added, "I'll do the right thing for Kagome. Please tell her I'll be back. And… and to wait for me."

Miroku nodded again. He clasped his hand upon his shoulder briefly. "You can count on me. I will protect those we love."

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Kagome waited a week in the village with no sign of Inuyasha. She was getting nervous, and highly upset. She wanted to go home, she wanted to find him, and she wanted to know what he was thinking. She sat on the edge of the Bone Eater's Well, and sighed again. The others had left her alone, knowing she needed time herself. Even Shippou didn't protest when Miroku held him back from following her. She was tempted to go home for a short while, but couldn't. At least not until she'd seen Inuyasha. Miroku couldn't or wouldn't tell her much about his late night conversation with Inuyasha, only that he had to think, and he'd be back. It was some small comfort to know he wasn't with Kikyou.

She felt his presence and looked up. Inuyasha stood at the tree line, solemn and sad. Kagome stared at him for a moment; her lip trembled at what his demeanor could mean. She slid off the well and began to walk towards him, slowly at first, then faster and faster until she was running. Reaching him, she threw herself into his arms. She buried her face into his chest, hands clutching his haori, and the tears she held in check released. His arms went around her, and he held her close. He stroked her back and her hair, wanting to comfort her more but not sure how.

Finally, as the girl's tears subsided, he spoke. "Kagome, I have to go with her." He spoke quietly, sorrow and a hint of regret tinged his voice. She stilled and tried to pull away. He wouldn't let her, not just yet. "I have much to say to you, and don't think I have the time. So please listen. Please this once?" He released her, and cupped her chin in his hand, lifting it up so he could look into her face. The pain and love he saw there broke his heart again, and the thought of doing what he knew he had to do would shattered it.

"Kagome, when I first met you, I was lost. I didn't have anything but the hate wrapped around my heart. I couldn't trust anyone or anything, and wouldn't allow them to get close. With you, I regained my heart. With you, I learned to trust. With you, I found friendship... and love." He dropped her chin, and looked away. In a small voice, he continued, "Kikyou knows where Naraku is, or at least where he was a week ago. She has discovered his weakness, and believes we can take him out." He paused. He didn't want to continue. To continue would mean the loss of all he had found. A lone tear streaked down his face.

Kagome stood transfixed by his side. She heard the words he was saying, and they filled her with dread. She knew what was coming, and wished she could close her ears and not listen. 'This cannot be happening! Not after all we've been through... oh please no..' Taking in a shuttering breath, she raised her hand and wiped the tear, staring at it glistening on her finger. Neither spoke for long moments. Kagome sighed. "I think I understand." She turned to walk away when he grabbed her hand and pulled her back into his embrace.

"No, Kagome, I don't think you do." He whispered into her hair. "I have to leave, and you cannot come. You have to go back to your time." He paused, trying to convey his feelings without saying them out loud, "I cannot protect her with my heart torn in two like this." He held her as she started to cry again. "You have given me so much, and I want nothing more than to be with you, seeing your smiling face for the rest of my life." His arms and shoulders started to shake with the emotions he tried to suppress. "I have to go. I have to defeat Naraku, and I can do that with Kikyou. I cannot fail her again. I cannot let Naraku get his hands on her again."

The young miko continued to cry softly, holding onto the dog-demon, not wanting to let him go. She drew bittersweet comfort from his embrace knowing it wouldn't last.

Inuyasha stiffened his resolve again as it slowly melted away holding her, telling her what he had to tell her, and hearing her tears; listening to her cry because of him. Sliding his hands up to her shoulders, he griped them softly, and gently pushed her from him. He looked down at her face as tears continued to leak from her eyes. She tried to brush them away and regain control of her emotions. He took her hand and walked her to the well. Once there, he waited until she gained control of herself, holding her loosely in his arms. He could see the sun nearing dusk and knew time was drawing near. He had to end this.

He lifted her to the edge of the well, setting her down on it, and drew her face up to look at him. Her chin quivered in his hand as she tried to keep from crying. "You have always accepted me for who I was, no matter who I was; in whatever form. You have given me life and I will always cherish you for that, Kagome." He closed his eyes and kissed her lips, tasting them for the first, and last time. He felt her arms circle around his neck as she tentatively kissed him back. He groaned. He'd never felt like this before, and his resolve almost melted again. He broke off the kiss, but didn't open his eyes.

Kagome leaned her head into his chest, her arms still around his neck. She knew in her mind what he said was right, but she didn't want it to be. Her heart screamed out at her to do something, anything to keep him from walking away. She looked up into his face and started to draw her hands away when her attention caught on something. The bead rosary. A sad smile played on her lips as she fingered it, thinking of the times she'd used its spell to subdue the hanyou. Lifting her hands to his face, she pulled him closer. He opened his eyes in surprise as he felt the necklace being lifted over his head. The sudden loss felt so great, he wanted to drop to his knees with the weight of it. With the rosary's removal, his last connection to Kagome was severed.

Holding the rosary in her hands, Kagome fingered the beads without looking at him. His hands grasped hers. "Kagome…" When she looked up, she could see the pain and anguish etched through every fiber of his being. "You should go now. Back to your own time, and stay there." A look of pleading entered his eyes. "Please? I don't think…" He stopped and looked off, not wanting to finish that sentence.

Kagome nodded, and prepared to drop to the other side of the well. She could feel his hands on her back, touching her, and wished she were only going for a short time, to come back to those hands touching her again. She paused before dropping and softly said, "I'll always love you, Inuyasha. No matter what." She shoved off before she could say or do anything more, not hearing his even softer reply, "And I you, Kagome."

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