Author's Notes: This is the last chapter… Read Author's Ramblings for some special notes about this story, and comments for those faithful readers. I will also include a snippet from the sequel, 'A Common Enemy'. In case you're not interested, let me take a moment to say most humbly: Thank you. I appreciate the time you've taken to read this story, and for those who have, for writing a review to let me know your thoughts.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Chapter Twelve: A Job to Do
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Sesshoumaru's eyes snapped open. He stared hard at the girl across from him. She was still in trance; her face lax, her body reposed. He thought briefly that she was lost and wouldn't be coming back. As quickly as the thought came, he banished it from his head. The girl was too tenacious to release her hold on the physical plane.
Sounds in the hut met his ears and he became aware of others speaking. He turned his attention to the rest of the hut's occupants and heard their questions. The kitsune child repeated the miko's name, while the two humans he'd restored to life were asking after the girl and his brother. Rin, he noted, remained quiet, sitting next to him with that exterminator girl's fire cat in her lap. Her eyes stayed fixed on his face, her expression the rapt hero-worship he'd grown accustom to seeing.
Picking up his swords, he rose gracefully to his feet, and slid his blades back into their place in his sash. "Rin, make ready to leave." He stated flatly, ignoring the others.
"What of Kagome-sama? And Inuyasha?" The male human, the monk, asked.
Turning emotionless eyes to him, Sesshoumaru stated quietly, "She refused to return with me. She did not find him." Seeing Rin holding her little bundle of belongings, he headed for the door.
The human woman stood before him. "What do we do if they don't wake?" Deep-seated pain filled her eyes, causing even the harden youkai lord to pause.
He stared at her for a moment before answering with a tinge of regret. "Kill them." The shock he left in his wake kept them silent and still. He walked from the hut, Rin at his side. It was still night, and he had to locate Janken, find a place for Rin to rest, and contemplate his next actions.
A rustle from behind warned him before a voice called out. "Sesshoumaru-sama, wait!" It was the woman. She ran up to him slightly out of breath. Her hand reached out to touch his arm, but she dropped it flushing. "Wha … what do you mean, kill them? Isn't there something we can do?"
Allowing a measure of expression to flicker across his face, he kept his eyes steady on the woman warrior before him. "If their souls are lost, their bodies will die. Eventually. You would not want them to suffer that form of death, would you?" Seeing horror fill her eyes, he nodded and turned to go.
"Please," This time the woman was bold enough to touch him. Strangely it didn't annoy him as much as it should have. "Please…" she seemed to hesitate in stating her thoughts.
Removing her hand from his arm, he snorted softly. He took a step and stopped again. "She is strong. Inuyasha is obstinate. Both will return." He gritted his teeth, wondering at himself for offering an explanation to this human. "They both have a job to do, and will not leave it undone." He began to walk.
"Wait! Please!"
Exasperated, he swung back to the woman. She stood embarrassed, unsure of what emotion she wanted to relay. He narrowed his eyes. "What?" He ground out impatiently.
"I wanted to thank you… for …for saving us." She gestured towards the hut. "Houshi-sama and I." She gazed at him briefly before looking away.
He waved a hand sharply. "It was nothing." He stood waiting, knowing by her fidgeting she had more to say.
Her gaze adverted, she asked softly, "Why?"
'Why indeed?' He thought. He had never concerned himself with humans before, and recently he seemed to be saving them with regularity. With a barely discernable movement, his eyes took in the young girl he had revived. The girl, who in her ignorance, sought to restore him to health, had become more than one of his followers. The true meaning of her presence still weighed on his mind. His hand unconsciously touched Tensaiga's hilt. 'What has father's sword done to me?' He questioned yet again. These answers he did not have, hadn't been able to attain no matter how often he studied the enigma.
Steadily he gave her the only answer he could give. "You were needed. You have a job to do." She gasped and stared up at him. He regarded her for a moment longer. Seeing she made no attempt to speak, he turned to leave.
Sango watched the two figures cross the clearing in the dim light. Lost in thought, she hadn't realized Miroku joined her until he touched her shoulder briefly. She turned unhappy, worried eyes to him. "Did you hear what he said?"
He gave a short nod. "As much as I hate the thought, he is our savior." He looked out into the dark, no longer able to see the white of Sesshoumaru's kimono. His brows drew together as he said thoughtfully, "I would have rather have been saved for more than a job, though."
The woman next to him sighed. "Do you think he knows anything? Something he hasn't said?" She reflected on how quiet he had been, how long it had taken him to respond to her question. 'What is it about Sesshoumaru? What more can he know that we don't know?'
Miroku gave a bark of laughter. "He most likely knows more than we do collectively." Sobering, he added, "There has always been more to him than anyone could be able to decipher. And he doesn't share information. "
Sango shuddered. "Do you think he's right? About Kagome and Inuyasha?"
Miroku turned gentle eyes on his companion. "Sango, they are indeed strong. Kagome's powers are considerable, and Inuyasha is no less forceful. If anyone can find their way back, they will be able to." Seeing some of the worry ease from her face, he squeezed her shoulder and smiled at her.
He was startled when her expression changed to an emotion he didn't recognize. As a hint of light shone down from the waxing moon, her eyes glistened and he could see her lips tremble. She raised a hand to his arm. Her lips parted and she spoke, her tone soft, low, hesitant, "Houshi…" She bit her lip and blinked rapidly. Color flamed on her cheeks. She released the hold on her breath with a soft whoosh. She began to speak again. "Mir.."
"KAGOME!" Shippou's excited shout came from the hut. Two sets of eyes turned and both began to move before the last syllable ended.
Entering the hut, they could see Kagome sitting up weakly, looking extremely tired, but happy. She gave them a weak smile, while comforting the nearly hysterical kit in her arms. Sango knelt next to her giving her an excited hug of her own. "Kagome-chan, you had us worried." She smiled, welcoming her friend back to the land of the living.
Miroku knelt on the other side of Inuyasha, looking from the miko to the hanyou and back. He asked haltingly, "Kagome-sama, Inuyasha …is he … did you…?"
She blinked up at him attempting to focus on his words. "It was close. But…" Kagome touched Inuyasha's face softly smiling. "I found him. We walked back together. I think it might take him a little longer to settle himself, reanchor his soul." She looked at her friends reassuringly. "He's never done this before and it does take some getting use to."
"What happened? Shippou mentioned Naraku attacking, and Sesshoumaru helping, though he wasn't coherent when he spoke." Miroku tone was gentle and chiding.
Shaking her head, the young miko sighed. "There is so much that has happened. I… I'd like to wait until Inuyasha is with us to speak of it." Her expression grew sad and pained. "He might not want to remember, to talk about it." Her eyes drooped as she spoke, and she stifled a yawn.
Sango rose and disappeared behind the painted dividers. She reappeared moments later carrying blankets. "You look worn out, Kagome-chan. Lay here and try to rest. We'll keep watch on Inuyasha, and wake you if anything changes." She wrapped a blanket around Kagome and covered Inuyasha with the other.
Blinking her eyes sleepily, Kagome mumbled a thanks, and lay curled at Inuyasha's side. Shippou found a comfortable spot between the two and snuggled down under their blankets.
Miroku looked between the three laying on the hut's floor and the exterminator standing over them in a maternal fashion. He gave a silent sigh, and thought longingly of what Sango might have said if Kagome hadn't woke when she did. Knowing thinking that thought would only bring him trouble he didn't need, he busied himself by banking the fire, and making the hut ready for night.
"I'll watch over them, Sango. Go rest." He found he had stopped by her side.
Keeping her voice low, she shook her head softly. "I don't think I could sleep right now, Houshi-sama. Thank you for the offer." She gave him a gentle look. "Why don't you go get some rest and I'll watch?"
Giving her a grin, Miroku gestured to the wall. "We can both watch and rest then." She nodded, sitting down her back against the wall and her legs spread out before her. Miroku gave a last look to the sleeping forms before arranging himself on the floor. Kirara rose from the blanket she had nestled in and made her way over to Sango. A quiet repose settled between them. The monk felt his body relaxing watching her stroke the fire cat curled in her lap. With each caress, the aches and worries released their hold, and his eyes closed in response, allowing him to drift in sleep.
The fire died to glowing embers, casting faint light upon the hut's occupants. The taper left burning had long since melted away. A sound entered Miroku's subconscious, nudging him awake, alerting him as being out of place. Without opening his eyes, he listened and placed each noise as it was made. The three laying before the fire pit still breathed the steady tempo of sleep. He could hear the wind rustle the leaves in the trees directly behind the hut, and the rattle of the window coverings, but he hadn't placed the source that woke him.
Next to him, close without touching, Sango stirred. Opening his eyes, Miroku noticed she had turned her back to him, and sat curled up, leaning against the wall. As he watched, he could see her shoulders shake, making no noise. A sense of uneasiness crept over him. So soft it was a breath upon air, he asked, "Sango?"
Her shoulders stilled. A quiet sniff was heard before she answered, keeping her own voice low. "Yes, Houshi-sama?"
He moved closer. Putting a hand to her shoulder, he gave it a slight rub. "Would you like to talk?" She shook her head, the gesture lost in the dark of the hut. He felt the movement more than saw it. Bending low, his whisper was nearly inaudible. "Then why are you crying alone in the dark?"
Sango shifted away from his hand and sat up. She kept her back to him while drawing her knees to her chest. Softly, in a small voice, she asked, "Will this ever end?"
Miroku sighed. "It will end. We have to continue to be strong until that day."
She turned around suddenly, one side of her face reflected in the fire's glow. Her tears sparkled brightly in contrast to her words. "We died today! Inuyasha died today! Kagome-chan was nearly lost! Kikyou did die." She hissed. "How much stronger do we have to be?"
"Sango, we must continue. We have to look forward and not dwell on what's happened." Though he tried to keep his voice calm, the strength of his own suppressed emotions caused it to break and waver. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead. "To allow your thoughts to linger on such things will only break your spirit and weaken your purpose. Your courage will fail you when you need it."
Silence resonated as she stared at his bent form. Averting her gaze from him, she said in a trembling voice, "I don't want to die." Unconsciously, her hand sought his in comfort.
Looking up, his hand closing over hers, he whispered in response, "I don't want to either." Her body started to shake again. Miroku scooted closer and pulled her into a rough embrace. Sango clung to his chest as though in desperation; her hands fisting in his robes, her eyes leaking silent tears. The monk held the woman warrior, kneeling in front of her, one hand stroking her hair, the other supporting her back. His thoughts centered on her words, and what drove this strong woman to need comfort. In all their months of association, she was rarely reduced to tears, and then it had been in response to the slaughter of her clan, her family, and her village.
Her tears abated gradually. Shifting, Sango relaxed her grip, but didn't let go. She pressed her cheek against the rough material of his robes, listening to his heartbeat and drawing comfort from his warmth. "Thank you… Houshi-sama." Her voice whispered in the dark, shaky and uncertain. "I …I'm so tired… I've never…" With a shake of her head, she stopped speaking.
Resting his head on the top of hers, he offered his own doubts. "It sneaks up to maim you when you're at your lowest. It invades your being and attacks your soul. When you give into it, it dances with manic glee reveling in your tears, wallowing in your fear."
Releasing a sigh, finding solace in his understanding, she continued in a stronger whisper, her tone steady. "I don't think I would mind the dying so much if I had … if I could…" she swallowed. "I have some things I want to do, to say, before I go."
His arms tightened unconsciously around her form. "Don't think of dying. Don't ever think of dying." He closed his eyes and stifled the shudder the thought of her dead created. Gaining control over his emotions, he shifted slightly and extended his arm out to the side. He lifted his head to peer at his hand, covered by the prayer beads, sealing his curse. Softly, so low Sango felt more than heard his words, "When I think of the events of this day, and what I lost… almost lost, carrying this burden pales in comparison."
Sango trailed her hand along his chest, and up his arm to touch his hand, to barely caress the beads wrapped around it. Her fingers traced the seal, gliding over the calloused palm to rest her fingertips on his. Pulling back to look up at his face, the one word she whispered held such emotion and power, it reverberated throughout his body, shaking his soul. "Miroku…"
Miroku responded in the only way he knew. The only way he could show how he felt, what he was feeling. He lowered his face, pressing his lips to hers. Her eyes widened briefly, then lowered as she opened herself up to him. Breaking the kiss, he drew in a shuddering breath and pulled her back to his chest, clasping her hand in his. "Sango."
With a happy sigh, Sango leaned back far enough to see his face. A gentle smile curved her lips and color brushed her cheeks as she whispered, "You've never kissed me before."
Giving her a like smile, he answered, "You've never said my name before." Her smile deepened and she nestled her head against his chest again. He chuckled softly, while brushing the hair from her face.
Her voice was muffled when she next spoke, "So now what?"
His hand stilled in her hair. He gave a brief thought to what would happen. How their relationship could change from the strong friendship it was, to something more. He thought of all he wished for with the woman in his arms and knew until the fight with Naraku was finished, they could not risk more. Cradling her head with one of his arms, he said softly, "Sleep. Definitely sleep."
He was rewarded with choked laughter. "Ah Houshi-sama, you disappoint me." She arched a brow up at him. "I thought this is where you've wanted me to be ever since we met."
"Houshi?" Miroku couldn't keep the disappointed timbre from his tone.
Averting her eyes, and flushing, Sango replied, "Old habits …"
Kissing the top of her head, he whispered back, "I rather enjoyed hearing my name on your lips." The giggle she emitted seemed at odds with the normally somber young woman he held. "For now Sango, we need sleep more than anything." He gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Though having you right where I want you is a delightful change." He was rewarded with another giggle. Turning the mood serious, he added "We've waited this long. We can wait awhile longer."
She struggled for a moment to look at him. He loosened his hold to allow her to sit back, neither releasing the other. "Hous… Miroku…" The hurt in her gaze stabbed through him. Hesitant, she bit her lip, her brows drawing together. She was uncertain what she wanted to say, uncertain as to how she felt. "I… after today, I don't want to …" She dropped her eyes but not before he saw tears beginning to pool in them. "I had hoped we wouldn't have to wait any longer." She ended quietly.
Gathering her close again, Miroku kissed her forehead. Closing his eyes, he put all the emotion he felt into his tone. "I also wish we didn't have to wait. I have wanted this day to come for so long." She gave in to a stifled sob. "Sango, my feelings for you have not changed. They will never change. Knowing how I feel about you, I cannot treat you with less than the highest regard. I cannot take advantage of those feelings you harbor for me."
A shudder ran through her as she sought to gather her bruised spirit. "Miroku … I don't …I …today I died. I might not get the chance to say these things again. To do what I want to do." She turned her face up to his, their lips a breath apart. "Miroku, I lo…" His lips descended upon hers, effectively cutting off what she was saying.
After a moment, he pulled back, slightly breathless. "Please don't say anything now, Sango. I don't know if I could stop myself if you did." His gaze warmed her heart as he let her see how torn his decision to wait made him. "For the rest of the night, we should sleep. We'll have time to talk later." Giving in to him, she sighed and nodded softly.
Not releasing his hold on her, Miroku shifted the both of them back against the wall. He held Sango cradled in his lap, with her head resting against his shoulder, and her hands clutching his robes. His arms wrapped around her body, rubbing her back, giving her exposed thigh an occasional caress.
Kirara had waited off to the side, watching until what needed to be said was said. Seeing as her companions seemed to be ready to sleep once again, she came forward. Giving a soft meow, she settled in what was left of Sango's lap. In her feline mind, she hadn't seen what would cause the two so much anxiety. Purring her contentment and approval, she hoped to bring some small measure of comfort to both of them.
In the waning hours before dawn, the wind had died down, stilling the rustling leaves. The early morning birds began to stir, making barely discernable noises as they woke and prepared for the morning hunt. Nocturnal animals trudged their way along known paths to their dens and nests, making way for the daylight. A sense of peace settled throughout the forest and clearing, not a disturbance could be felt.
Maybe it was the sense of peace that triggered his waking. Or it could have been the complete silence in the hut. Whichever, Inuyasha opened his eyes slowly, blinking them several times, seeking to clear the gloom. Lethargy hung heavily from his limbs pinning his body to the floor. As he continued to resist the insistence of sleep, he moved his head slightly, his golden eyes piercing the grayness of predawn.
The warm bundle snuggled to his side he recognized by size alone as Shippou. His lips twisting in wry humor at the kit's unusual position. A tender expression arranged itself upon his face when his gaze found Kagome's inches from his own. A slight blush crossed his cheeks at the thought individual blankets separated the two from sleeping together. The blush deepened with the knowledge it would only be a matter of time before they would share a single blanket with nothing separating them.
He struggled to raise his hand to touch her and mentally cursed his weakened state. His fingers brushed her flesh, and he settled for entwining his fingers with hers. His thoughts centered hazily on recent events, trying to remember what exactly happened. There seemed to be a great heaviness to his heart he didn't want to exam closely. Seeing Kagome, her scent thick in his senses, he felt calm. The knowing something important, something awful, tingled and nagged in the back of his mind, but for the moment he ignored it. The morning would come too soon and bring reality with it. For now, he was content to wrap Kagome's touch around him, and let sleep pull him back into its embrace.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Kaede found the hut's occupants still sleeping at mid-morning. Keeping as quiet as she could, she stirred the cooking fire back to life knowing eating would be first task at hand. Her hands worked quickly with long practice, throwing necessary items into the stew pot before setting it back to simmer.
Old knees creaked as she knelt beside the slumbering hanyou. The fact he hadn't woke either when she entered the hut, or with her movements in the past few minutes concerned her. If he were uninjured, he would have been aware of her presence. His regular breathing soothed her worries somewhat.
His eyelids fluttered opened and centered on her face. "Baba." His voice came weak and cracked, unlike the strong harsh tones he usually emitted.
"Inuyasha, are you injured?" She inquired, visually assessing what was exposed to her. Not seeing anything amiss, she listened to him as she moved her gaze to the others. She noted with some amusement how close Kagome and he lay to one another. She hid her smile upon seeing their clasped hands. When her eyes darted to the other couple, they narrowed in concern once again. Even from the distance she sat, she could see the blood staining both their clothing, and how Sango's hair was matted with it.
Inuyasha snorted in derision and looked away from her. "I don't need your magic, Baba."
Miroku shifted, keeping his movements slow and gentle so as to not disturb the still sleeping woman in his arms. His eyes fixed upon Kaede even as they noted Inuyasha stirring. He debated how he would be able to join the two without waking Sango when her eyes opened. A smile curved her lips as she shyly looked up at him.
"Good morning." He whispered softly.
Dropping her gaze, but not her smile, her cheeks colored faintly. "I thought I might have been dreaming." Her hand found Kirara in her lap, and she absently stroked her fur.
His embrace tightened as he leaned closer. His lips hovered at her ear and he whispered so only she could hear, "Even my best dreams pale in comparison to last night."
Her blush deepened and she leaned into him with a sigh. With a start she realized two sets of eyes were now focused on them. "Oh…" She exhaled sharply. Sheepishly, she pulled herself from Miroku's arms, holding Kirara close to her as she rose. "Good morning Kaede-babasan, Inuyasha." She averted her face, and stood awkwardly, uncertain.
Miroku rose to stand next to her, dropping an arm around her shoulders. "Inuyasha, it's good to see you are still with us." His features reposed themselves into his collected manner. "We had wondered when Sesshoumaru left if that would happen." His words effectively diverted their attention away from Sango.
They began to speak, both questions vying for answers. "Sesshoumaru?" "What do you mean Miroku?"
Shippou and Kagome roused as their voices rose. "Inuyasha!" Her voice was low, full of happy excitement. Ripping his eyes away from the priest, they took in her disheveled state, the dark circles beneath her eyes, the flush at her cheeks, her lips slightly parted. She propped herself upon her elbow, leaning over him. "How do you feel? Can you move?"
Amazed at how weak he was, he struggled to raise his hand to her face, trying to ignore its shaking. "Keh. I'm fine." His attempt at the usual response brought a smile to her lips. She leaned down to touch her face to his hand, covering his with hers.
"You have to give it some time. This isn't some fight you can just heal from." Her gaze softened, no longer smiling. "I've been practicing for months and I feel like I've gone several rounds sparring with you! I can't imagine how you feel right now."
Inuyasha allowed her to hold his hand as he sighed heavily. "I'm not some weak human."
Chuckling somewhat, she answered, "No, you're not. If you were, we wouldn't be talking." Giving a distressed cry she could no longer contain, she collapsed her face against his neck, tears flowed freely from her eyes. "You … you were dead Inuyasha."
His hand went to the back of her head, his eyes seeking Kaede's and then Miroku's for some understanding. Noticing for the first time the state his two traveling companions were in, his eyes widened, and his brows drew together in concern. He gave a startled yelp, sitting up suddenly, bringing Kagome with him. "What the hell happened to you two?"
Sango and Miroku gave him a concerned look, before peering at one another. Sango's hand rose to her hair, a grimace on her face. The monk plucked at his robes, stiff with his dried blood. Rather abashed, he admitted, "We did die, after all." At the collective gasp, he stared intently at Inuyasha. "You don't remember what happened?"
Inuyasha drew back, trying to think, trying to remember. Slowly he shook his head. Absently he stroked Kagome's hair as she clung to him. Vague images of grayness, a sense of despair and pain, and Kagome's scent were all he could recall. His head began to pound and closing his eyes, he shuddered.
Kaede squeezed his shoulder. "Do not strain yourself Inuyasha. Your mind and body had been through a lot this past day. Let it go for now, and you will remember in time." Her tone was comforting. The worry while it still lay thick in the hut, had ease some. She turned her eyes to Miroku and Sango. "Are either of you hurt?" They looked at each other again and shook their heads. "Then I suggest you two go bathe."
Sango's eyes widened while her cheeks flushed scarlet. Miroku grinned unabashed. He sidled up to her, his arm sliding around her waist. "We might as well. It will save time…" Sputtering, she smacked his hand away. She looked confused, her eyes asking for answers to the change in his behavior.
Shippou chose that moment to demand, "I'm hungry. What's for breakfast?" While he had only been awake for a few minutes, his emotions had already ran rampant. A lot was happening, and would continue to happen when explanations were given, and stories shared. For now, he wanted something to eat, and he wanted the comfort of Kagome's arms. Eyeing her in Inuyasha's embrace, he didn't think he'd be there soon. Sighing, he plucked at his shirt.
"Breakfast should be ready soon. Tales and remembrances can wait until after everyone's eaten." She went to the stew on the cook stove and stirred the pot. "There's enough time for quick bathing, but little else." Kaede gave the bloodied duo another look.
Kagome drew back from Inuyasha, seeming to notice for the first time how bloodstained and soiled he was. "Oh!" She exclaimed softly. "Let me get something to clean you up." She began to rise, giving his hand a squeeze.
Seeing no one's attention was on him, Miroku leaned towards Sango and whispered, "You go bathe. I'll wait here until you return."
She flashed him a warm smile and went to gather her bathing things and a clean kimono. She paused at the hut's door, and gave her other companions a glance. Kagome and Shippou were engaged in trying to convince Inuyasha to stay put and allow her to take care of him, and Kaede busied herself at the stove. Miroku watched her, his face softening into the emotional expression he exposed to her the night before. Her heart skipped. He was confusing her, but thought he might have a reason behind his behavior. She jerked her head at him, motioning him towards the door, and exited the hut.
Miroku caught up a short ways down the path to the river. He glanced down at her a smile playing up on his lips as he matched her step. She looked up at him and gave a mock growl. "You stay on your side of the boulder, I'll stay on mine. You cross that line and I'll crack your skull." His laughter rang out across the clearing, briefly disturbing the midmorning peace.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Kagome pulled the towels from the dryer, and held them to her chest, marveling at their warmth. She had forgotten what small comforts modern times offered, usually concern with the larger, nicer comforts. "Like hot baths on demand." She said aloud. Pausing in her work, she sighed. She had been back for two days and she missed her friends and their home terribly. Her lower lip threatened to tremble and she caught it between her teeth. Banishing thoughts of her last days in the past, she worked automatically, trying not to think.
Her friends proved they were indeed unharmed. And though his body held no wounds, Inuyasha was slow to recover from his exertions. His memories were hazy at best; details few. As Sango and Miroku relayed their tale, and the battle with Naraku, his eyes narrowed. He remembered none of it. The last clear memory he held had been cutting through the barrier, and running over the ground in the hunt for Naraku. Sesshoumaru's participation in their recovery astounded him. Sango offered the little he said in explanation of his actions.
Heavily edited, Kagome told of her confrontation with their common enemy. She left out her search for Inuyasha's soul, and Kikyou's death. Giving him a smile, she let him know there was more to her tale, and once he remembered more, she would tell him. No one wanted to be the one to tell him directly of Kikyou's death.
*
Carrying the laundry basket back to the living room, Kagome mechanically folded the towels. Thoughts came unbidden as she worked. Life returned to normal, as least for that day. Inuyasha walking weakly, on unsteady legs that first night. Unwilling to leave his side, Kagome made her bed next to him, and he welcomed her presence.
It happened late that night. With a silent cry in the dark, Inuyasha sat up suddenly, waking Kagome. His memory had returned leaving him stunned, paralyzed in his shock. The battle with Naraku, the grayness, Kikyou's betrayal and death, Kagome's rescue. With the memory, the suppressed pain flooded his heart causing him to give a small whimper.
Instantly Kagome held his face in her hands. "Inuyasha?" She asked tentatively. Her heart clenched noticing his lost expression. She knew intuitively he was thinking of her, Kikyou. Her own expression saddened.
His eyes focused on hers. They seemed to be pleading with her for help; to take away the images that refused to leave. Another whimper escaped his lips. Clenching his jaw tightly, he pulled away from her. "I killed her." He stated in a flat hard voice.
*
Kagome shook her head. She had tried, really tried to comfort him that night. Her hands continuing to move automatically. He allowed her to hold him but refused to listen to her words of solace. He knew what he had done, and it was his fault Kikyou was dead. He wrapped the pain of that knowledge tightly around himself and clung to the belief he could have prevented it, somehow.
He left the hut before morning broke, before anyone woke. He left without saying anything to Kagome; pausing only long enough to give her a hug, and a look full of remorse and suffering, before bounding off into the gray of dawn. Kagome waited the rest of that day for his return and into the night. When he hadn't appeared by lunch the following day, she decided to visit her family. She hadn't seen them in several weeks, and she felt the need to draw comfort herself as only a home can give.
She explained what she planned to her friends at the noon meal. While no one said anything against her leaving, the unspoken question hung in the air; what about Inuyasha? They had asked little about his disappearance, each knowing him well enough to know he most often found peace when alone. After she had a few things packed and ready to go, Kagome told them to let Inuyasha know where she had gone, and she would be back.
Miroku carried her pack to the well. Sango walked beside her, wanting to give what she sought, knowing she didn't have it. Shippou clung to her shoulder, trying not to sigh, not to increase her unhappiness. The silence lay thick between them, broken only by the rustle of the grasses as they passed.
At the well, they stopped. Kagome turning to her friends with a bright smile. "Well, this is it." She looked at each in turn, setting Shippou to the ground.
Feeling the tension and sadness rolling off her, the little kitsune clung to her skirt. His face scrunched up in an effort to hold back his tears. "Kagome?" He asked in a low voice, "You will come back, right?"
She gave him a pat on the head, and another smile. "Of course Shippou. I'm only going for a short visit. I haven't been back in so long." She straightened and dropped her smile. "I… I just need to get away for awhile." Her expression turned sad and she looked away. "I have a feeling things will become hectic soon, and I won't have a chance to see them again for a long time."
Miroku handed her the pack, and dropping a hand to her shoulder, he gave it a squeeze. "I'll talk to him, Kagome-sama." He pulled her into a loose one-armed embrace. "If he refuses to listen, Sango can knock some sense into him with Hiraikotsu." Kagome chuckled softly as he released her and stepped back.
Sango enveloped her in a warm hug. "Take care of yourself." Pressing a quick kiss to her cheek, she whispered, "Don't worry about Inuyasha. He just needs time to think things out. We'll take care of him." Kagome returned her hug. Sango stepped back, holding her hand.
Giving her a wry look, Kagome said, "I know. It's just hard sometimes when he's like that."
Sango gave her hand a squeeze as Shippou launched himself into her arms. "Kagome, I'm going to miss you." The tears, long held, poured forth. She soothed him, patting his back, murmuring soft words of comfort.
"Oi brat!" A harsh voice called loudly from behind the group. All heads turned in that direction as Inuyasha strode towards them. "Kagome would never leave you. You know that." His tone was disgruntled, his face scowling. He stopped as he reached the group, arms crossed over his chest, he glared at each one.
Shippou gulped, and stifled his cries. He looked between the hanyou and miko. Neither seemed aware of anyone else; they only had eyes for each other. He jumped to the ground and made his way to Miroku's side.
The monk moved deliberately, ending the sudden strained silence. "We should be heading back. Kaede-babasan might need help." He gestured for the others to follow his lead, and both nodded, allowing him to pull them from the clearing, each casting a final goodbye over their shoulders.
When they had gone, Inuyasha averted his gaze. A flush crept up his neck and into his cheeks as he thought of something to say. "So you're going, huh?" He managed to spit out.
Kagome sighed and dropped her eyes. None of the fire he had mustered marching into the clearing was there. None of the arrogance she had come to associate with him made an appearance. "Yeah, for a little while."
He shuffled his feet, a distant expression settled on his face. "I won't stop you." He said softly. He reached a hand out to her, and dropped it with a shake to his head. "Will you come back?" He asked so softly she wasn't sure she heard him.
Stepping closer, she peered up into his face, trying to see his eyes behind his bangs. His face held a sad depressed look and her heart thumped painfully in her breast. He was still struggling. His heart hadn't healed yet. She swallowed pass the lump in her throat threatening to strangle her. "Inuyasha…" She faltered. 'What can I say to him, what can I do to take away that pain? To make him smile again?' Placing a hand upon his chest, her fingers spasm and stilled. "I will always be there for you." She said quietly. "When you're ready to be with me again, come get me." She gave him a gentle smile, extending a tender wash of her aura over him.
Closing his eyes, he relaxed in her delicate caress. He could feel the rigid tautness leave his body, and his soul quieted. Taking in a deep breath, he almost purred. His expression softened as he opened his eyes, gazing at her now with a calm look. "I will come… soon." He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, laying his head on hers. "I need time… too much has happened. I have to think."
She nodded against his chest, her hands clutching his haori. "I know, Inuyasha." She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. His scent filled her in its pleasantness.
*
Standing with an exasperated cry, Kagome picked up the basket in a fit of pique. She clenched her jaw in determination to keep those thoughts away. "I need to find something to do, something to keep me busy." She said aloud. Looking quickly around the house, she sighed in relief no one was home to hear her. Pausing on the stairs, a sudden thought came to her. "Yes, that will do nicely!" Nodding her head with a quick jerk, she smiled to herself in satisfaction.
*
Hours later, dressed in a simple skirt and long-sleeved knit shirt, Kagome joined her friends for a quick dinner before going to the movies. Ayumi, Eri, and Yuka arrived together, full of life and curiosity. The four friends hadn't seen one another in months, not since graduating from high school.
Yuka and Eri went on to the same college, and both got jobs in the same office. They dressed the same and appeared more as sisters than good friends. Each had stories of co-workers and university classes, homework horrors, late-night studying, and the parties.
Ayumi was quiet, smiling in her gentle sweet way. Her eyes lit in her delight at seeing her friends again, and she reveled in the excitement and exuberance the two displayed. When asked, she told of her life, how graduating with top honors from high school allowed her to choose the best university. Her life there hadn't been easy, her class load heavy. But at least she didn't have to work.
Looking up at her friends with shy eyes and a blush on her cheeks, she said happily, "Oishi and I are engaged." Excited laughter and exclamations went around the table. The girls clamored over each other asking questions, sharing their friend's happiness.
When they quieted down, each girl turned their attention to Kagome. The young miko shifted nervously. Her life was so different from her friends' lives. While they didn't live with the dangers she had, theirs was no less active and filled with their share of troubles. Their stares pushed her into speaking, not quite sure how much she could tell, how much they would believe.
"I've been learning about my special abilities." She told them quietly, smiling. "I've been staying with my teacher far away and haven't been home for a long time. It's very interesting and I have a lot of friends."
Eri looked at Yuka. Yuka arched an eyebrow. "What kind of special abilities, Kagome-chan?"
Blushing, Kagome sipped her soda through the straw. 'How do you tell someone who doesn't know about a kind of magic no one's heard of in years?' She thought. A glint shone in her eye as she thought of one way. Giving them a bright smile, she simply said, "I'll show you."
Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply, relaxing her body. She thought of the girls sitting around the table with her, friends they had been since they were little. A smile tugged at her lips, adding a touch of warmth. She released her hold on her aura, and let it seep out to cover the table and its occupants. Each girl let out a sigh, each effected in a different way. Opening her eyes, Kagome's smile widened, brightening up the room.
"Oh Kagome…" Ayumi breathed in awe.
Yuka's eyes were wide. Her mouth opened and closed, unable to say anything. Eri blinked. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever felt."
Blushing furiously, Kagome dropped her eyes. "It was one of the hardest things I've ever learned."
"So what else have you learned to do?" Yuka asked, finding her voice at last.
Shaking her head, she looked up quickly. "Too many things. A lot of them I wouldn't be able to show you." She thought for a moment. "Mostly about healing and caring for people. Learning how to work with my own abilities. A special kind of magic." With her friends staring at her in an embarrassing reverence, she hid her face behind her hands. "Please! I'm the same ol' Kagome! Don't look at me like that!" The girls laughed at their own foolishness.
"How is your boyfriend? Are you still seeing him?" Ayumi asked. Eri and Yuka stilled and turned their gazes back to Kagome with interest. They hadn't heard her speak of him since they were in high school.
Her expression became pensive, a sad smile rested on her lips. "I am. He is doing well." This was the only information she felt she could share without wanting to breakdown.
Nodding with her understanding, Ayumi stood quickly. "We should hurry if we're going to the movies." Kagome gave her friend a grateful smile in the general scramble to leave the restaurant.
*
Inuyasha settled back against the tree trunk, willing himself to sleep. His eyes kept opening, staring up at the moon as though it held the answers he sought. Shaking his head impatiently, his lips twisted with a quick grimace of disgust. "Feh." He said out loud.
'Kikyou..' he thought. 'Even now in death you haunt me.' Of all the times he had believed her to be dead, he knew she was this time. She had to be, he killed her. He watched as what Kagome gave Kikyou of her own soul rose from her body and flew to heaven. Knowing she was peaceful at last eased his mind some, but his heart continued to feel burdened with her death.
"Naraku." He snarled, startling a roosting owl in a nearby branch. "Your tricks and treachery will end soon!" His thoughts, already dark, darkened as his rage built. Unconsciously he clenched his hands into fists and surprised himself with the smell of blood in the air. Holding a hand out, he stared at his palm, watching the blood flow sluggishly. It slowly stopped as the wound healed, and the cuts from his claws disappeared. A flicker of amazement crossed his face. The knowledge he could heal quickly had always been with him, but he had never watched it before.
Sighing, he dropped his hand back to his lap. "If only my demon powers could heal this fucking ache." He scowled into the night, hating the thoughts he had. Never had he felt so weak, even those times he had been separated from Kagome, thinking he'd never see her again hadn't been this bad. "If I were to become a full youkai, would I ever feel this pain?"
'Kikyou' He thought again. She had meant a lot to him, changing over time from when they had first met, to her end. Her betrayal fifty years ago pained his heart, giving even more reason for his distrust of humans, and human emotions. Finding she had died hadn't ended the pain, but only added another layer. Each time he met with the restored miko, each time they parted, each time he believed her to be dead the layers became thicker. The pain wrapped around his heart was so thick he didn't believe anyone could get through.
Giving into the thoughts he'd buried, a gentle smile settled on his lips. "Kagome" He whispered into the night. He closed his eyes in remembrance of the feel of her aura, the smell of her scent, her touch, the feel of her in his embrace, her lips on his. On the heels of his memories, the anguish he felt in the grayness when he thought Kagome dead flooded him. For an instant he was lost in the grayness again, the pain and agony torturing his soul, making his senses reel. He was falling before he realized what happened. The ground rushed up to meet him, and he barely had time to catch himself before crashing to the forest floor.
He lay on the cool damp soil gasping for breath. 'Where the fuck had that come from?' he thought, trying to clamp a tight hold on the panic he felt surging through him. Kagome was not dead, wouldn't die, not if he had anything to say about it. He shuddered. The pain was too much, overwhelming his senses. 'If I were to ever lose her…' He couldn't even finish the thought. The agony of thinking that flattened him to the ground again.
*
Rolling over on her stomach, Kagome's thoughts traveled to the past, beyond the well. She wondered how each friend was doing, how much trouble Shippou was giving Sango. A small smile creased her lips thinking of the kit. She missed him and his nightly snuggles, his antics, and constant chatter.
Her eyes grew misty. Her home in the past was becoming more her home than the one she was born to. The odd paradox she lived often left her confused, and in turmoil. She knew the time would come one day for her to make the final decision. How could she? How could she abandon one family for another? What strange hold the past held over her… what drew her to that wild untamed time where death lurked around the bend, stalked her through the grass.
Rolling over to her back, she sighed. Thinking of the pleasant evening she'd spent with her school friends, her lips twisted with irony. Her life should have been as uncomplicated as theirs. She should have been in college, struggling as Eri and Yuka were, balancing a job and classes into their hectic lives. Or she should have been in love with someone willing declaring himself, ready to be with her for the rest of her life, like Ayumi's Oishi.
"If I had never been pulled through the well…" she whispered to the dark ceiling. How different her life would be. The evening she spent would have been one of many. Her grades would never have suffered as they did. Prior to her travels to the Sengoku Jadai era, she rivaled Ayumi for the number 1 spot in academics. 'To always have a hot bath, Oden, and clean clothes…' Her mind thought dreamily. 'My soft bed, a house that's always warm, no youkai waiting to kill me.' Her eyes closed thinking of the wonderful things her time offered her, bringing a gratifying smile to her lips.
A soft clink startled her musings. She sat up and leaned over the bed to look at the floor. The rosary. She forgot putting it under her pillow before sleep and she must have pushed it off with her tossing and turning. Leaning over, she picked it up and held it in her hands. Her eyes softened as flashes of memories flickered through her mind, an image kaleidoscope covering the past two years.
She uttered a soft cry and clamped a hand to her mouth. Nothing could keep her from where she truly belonged. Thoughts of school, what could have been, missed opportunities, hot baths, even her family were banished. She knew it a long time ago. The time she spent recently only strengthened the bond to the long ago era. No matter what, no matter how, she would spend the rest of her life five hundred years ago.
*
Inuyasha made his way to the old hut on the outskirts of the village. He hesitated before the door, uncertain of his welcome, remorseful of his inability to fulfill his promise.
Kaede slept on the floor, her face illuminated by the glowing embers in the fire pit. She opened her eyes at his approach and sat up. "Inuyasha, it's rather late to pay me a visit. Are you ill?" Her tone questioning, colored with concern.
He averted his gaze. The two of them had lived through an experience the rest of their companions could only guess at, and the burden of his guilt weighed heaviest when thinking of the old woman before him.
Making an understanding noise, the old miko realized it could be some time before Inuyasha explained his presence. She rose and stirred the fire to life. Putting the kettle of water over the flames, she readied the tea making things, noting the hanyou sat watching her.
The water had boiled and the tea sat seeping when the sound of Inuyasha's voice brought her attention back to him. "I'm sorry Baba…" He struggled to speak. "I wasn't able to protect her."
Kaede paused momentarily in pouring the tea. She finished before looking closely into his face. Seeing the truth in his eyes, Kaede offered him words of comfort. "We have spoke of this before, Inuyasha. Her time in this world ended over fifty years ago." They shared a pain filled look before she patted his shoulder. "You have suffered enough for her. It is time now to concentrate on the present and future."
Inuyasha snorted as he accepted the proffered cup. The dark look hadn't left his face, but some of the tension lines smoothed themselves out. Kaede gazed at him with a maternal fondness. This demon boy had come to mean much to her. She offered up a silent prayer to whatever gods were listening that they would interfere on his behalf and bring his suffering to an end.
*
The leaves of the Goshenboku rustled as the wind picked up. Kagome looked up from the bench she sat on, staring at the thick branches high overhead. Her eyes scanned the tree automatically seeking the figure she knew wouldn't be there. The wind gusted again, and she shivered, crossing her arms over her chest. She mused on what he was doing at that moment.
Evening had come, and she could see Sango fixing dinner, dodging Miroku's hands, and scolding Shippou as she worked. Inuyasha would sit with his back against the wall, Tetsusaiga leaning on his shoulder. His eyes and ears watching and listening to everything, constantly on the alert. If he decided to show, that is. Her thoughts lingered on the small hut she'd left behind. No matter what the present time had, her home held it's own comforts; the sense of belonging, the warmth of friendship and familiarity, the pride of ownership.
So engrossed in her thoughts, she didn't hear her mother until after the warmth of the sweater dropped over her shoulders. "Kagome, what thoughts plague you these days?" Her mother sat, watching her daughter, her brow wrinkled in worry.
Giving her a sad smile, Kagome asked, "Does it always hurt this way? When you grow up?" Tears came then. Leaking one by one down her cheeks. Blinking, her lip trembling, she sought the comfort of her mother's embrace.
"Ah Kagome." Her mother whispered in her hair, holding her tightly in her arms. She smiled ruefully feeling the tears prick behind her own eyes. "I wish I could say it didn't, but it does. Each stage you go through, each time you leave a stage of life behind, there comes a point you have to grieve." Her shoulders shook with her own grief, and Kagome pulled back to look at her.
Unbidden, she choked on her laughter. Mother and daughter sat facing one another, trembling smiles and tears, each passing a life point. "Mama…" Kagome whispered, her hand trailed on her cheek, wiping away a tear. "I'm sorry."
Shaking her head, the older woman cupped her daughter's face in her hand, a happy smile at odds with her tears. "It's not your fault. It would have happened sooner or later. I'm lucky I've had you this long." Kagome hugged her mother again, both giving in to the laughing tears. Drawing back, Mrs. Higurashi said quietly, "The moment I saw those dog ears I knew I'd lost you." She stroked Kagome's hair, brushing it from her face. "You're such a beautiful young woman. Any mother would be proud to claim you as their own." She kissed her forehead. Sitting up, she wiped the tears from her face, and straightened her clothing. Giving her daughter a bright smile, she asked, "Is there anything else troubling your heart?"
Kagome smiled back in response, mimicking her mother's movements. She shook her head. "It's hard, mama. I know where I belong, but the thought of leaving hurts so much."
Her hand shaking, Kagome's mother cupped her face again. "Your heart knows where you belong. You let it guide you." She gave her a wavering smile. "We will miss you. And you will always have a place here if you ever need it." Blinking her eyes rapidly, the woman declared suddenly. "Oh my, I have to go finish cleaning up from dinner." She stood and called over her shoulder. "Don't stay out too long, Kagome dear, you'll catch cold."
Grinning sardonically, Kagome looked back to the tree again. She sighed, her heart less heavy, her thoughts drifted to Inuyasha. Her visage saddened. "It's been a week. Why hasn't he come?" She asked the tree. She lowered her head. "He must have a lot to think about." She sighed again.
The wind picked up, and blew a swirling eddy of leaves, dust and debris. Kagome shielded her eyes, and shivered under the sweater. The sweater, while warm, didn't keep the bite from the wind out. She thought of returning to the house when a sudden heavy warmth draped itself around her. Startled, she looked up. "Inuyasha.." She breathed.
He gave her a soft look before scowling. "Feh." He stood before her, his arms crossed, the light wind blowing his hair, tugging at his white kimono. "What has baba been teaching you? Whatever it is, you're still stupid sitting out here in the cold in nothing but that limp sweater."
Her face melted in a gentle smile. "Inuyasha."
Snorting, he demanded, "What are you doing still sitting there? We have to go." Grabbing her arm, he pulled her up and began to drag her towards the house.
Stumbling along behind him, she stopped suddenly, and pulled back on his hand, making him release her. "Wait a minute!" She huffed, and fisted her hands to her hips. "Stop pulling me about! If you were in such a hurry, how come it took you so long to get here?"
Grumbling and mumbling curses under his breath, he turned back to her. His face scrunched in an angry scowl, his voice loud, he shouted, "Naraku's not going to sit around waiting for us. We've got a job to do!"
Loosing her steam suddenly, her heart thumped in her chest. Her hands dropped from her hips, her face wistful. When she spoke her voice was sad, wondering. "You came only for that?"
His body jerked. He raised his eyes to meet hers. Loosing his scowl, a calm peaceful expression washed over his face. A hint of a smile played at his mouth. "I wanted to see you again." He whispered softly, taking a step closer.
Her lips quirked upwards. "It seems to me we've had this conversation before, Inuyasha."
Nodding he held his hand out to her. "We'll have a lot of them, I think."
Taking his hand, she gave him a smile and stepped up to his side. "I hope so, Inuyasha, I hope so."
Together, the miko and the hanyou walked to the house. Neither saying what lay on their hearts, and in their minds, both knowing without words how the other felt. Their duty waited for them, a heavy responsibility neither could ignore. Time and circumstance couldn't deny their destiny, it could only watch the act play to the end.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
