Diary Entry January 3236: (The Reaper Comes, the Prophacy)

Five years had passed since ze battle at Weaselopolis. I didn't think ze villagers in Mobitransylvania feared us vampires after over 300 years. Zat's vhen ze grinder ve made vas useful at zose times. I might overfeed a little, but I try to make sure I don't drink too much from vhere I hang, othervise I vould fall into ze grinder and die. Anyvay, it had been a long time since I last saw Nack again.

Ze servants and I threw ze villagers zat were coming after us into ze grinder. Ve drank zeir blood as ve enjoyed our feast. It vas zen zat I heard a knock on ze door from ze living room. I flew towards ze front door after ze last villager vas dropped, changed myself to normal, and used my power to open ze door. Zer stood a small skeleton vearing a black cloak, holding a scythe on its hand. I vas scared cause I've never seen a skeleton zat's been life-like before.

Ze skeleton just said in a squeaky Australian accent, "Aw quit your bloody scaredy cat routine, you prick!"

"It talks!" I shouted.

Ze skeleton sighed as he said, "All right, look. I'm the Grim Reaper named Gregg. And don't laugh at me, otherwise you'll get what's coming to you."

"Vait! A grim reaper? But you're short and-"

"What am I suppose to look like?! Just cause I'm short, doesn't mean I'm not powerful."

Ze reaper just came slowly towards me as I tried to get avay from him. He zen stopped me from going anywhere.

"Listen carefully, the 'Powers That Be' and I have heard all about you! Those pricks sent me to tell you something that would probably make you sweat!"

I looked towards him and asked, "Vhat is it zat you vant from me? My life? I have a daughter out zer in ze world and I vant to see her again!"

"Oh, you'll see her again, when the time comes."

"Vhat!?"

"Never mind!"

He zen opened a portal vhich had many lives zat I had taken. I also saw orphans of ze villagers crying cause of vhat I have done. Zey were reminding me of ze children I took care of. Not vanting to take anymore, I cried tears of blood and shouted to ze Grim Reaper.

"Stop it! Stop it, baka!"

"Baka? You're a Japanese-type Vampire?"

Before going on about vhy I said 'idiot' in Japanese, I told him, "Just stop vith ze madness! I can't take it!"

You see, some of ze Acorn family members, including my mother, came from ze Japanese Side of Mobius. She had taught me everything zer is to know, including our culture and ze language.

Anyvay, Gregg just told me, "Listen to me, I'm just about to show you what would happen if this kind of act kept up."

He zen showed me vhat would happen to me. In ze orb, I saw myself sleeping on my chambers, and I zen saw someone putting a stake in my heart. He zen chopped off my head and took out my heart. Before ze orb had disappeared, I gasped at ze figure as his shadowed face disappeared.

"Nack ze Veasel? But how-"

"Look, if you don't stop killing all the villagers or everyone in the village, then that would happen!"

He disappeared as he said, "On the other hand, on the day after a boy named Conker's Birthday, your death would probably be different the moment you find the one you love most."

He quickly disappeared before I had a chance to ask him vhat he meant when he told me my death vould be different. I turned to my servants after zey had zeir feast. Zey gave me a bowel of blood, just to share vith me. I don't know vhy Gregg vould tell me of my prophacy being different, but I hope my death vould never come.

(Next Chapter: I Love You, Rouge! Conker's Arrival (POV))