Title: Back at the Beginning – Epilogue
Author: Nan
Rating: R
Classification: vignette, Harm/Mac, AJ
Spoilers: All episodes up to but not including Fortunate Son from Season 8
Summary: AJ and Mac worry about Harm and his latest TAD
Thankyou – To Aerogirl. A truly great author with a warm and encouraging heart. I sent her my fiction 'out of the blue' and she not only edits but provides a running commentary. It was as much fun to read the corrections as it was to write the story. Thanks!
Admiral Chegwidden and Meredith Cavanaugh were just about to step into the darkened theatre at the Folger Shakespeare Library on Capitol Hill when AJ felt his cell phone vibrate. He was looking forward to the performance of Maxwell Anderson's "Elizabeth the Queen" despite the fact Michael Learned was playing Elizabeth. The image of Mother Walton doing Queen Bess was a hard one to shake. Still, it was with irritation that he yanked the offending phone out of his black suit pocket. Just when he thought he had a free moment… He abruptly stopped when he saw the name on the caller ID.
Cdr Rabb.
He looked up and found Meredith watching him with a questioning glance. He motioned to her to continue into the theatre. "I'll meet you inside," he quietly mouthed to her and he turned his back and walked towards a quiet corner in the busy foyer.
"Chegwidden," he said as he pressed the send button.
In his ear, he heard a voice. "It is Commander Rabb, sir. I'm at Colonel Mackenzie's apartment and she suggested that I call you."
AJ's mind logged the fact that the commander was speaking to him from Georgetown and not the middle of the Sea of Japan. He tried to process this information in the context of the last few days.
The anger that he had felt towards the commander since Teddy Lindsey's fateful conversation had not dissipated over the weekend. It was not only that Rabb had chosen flying over JAG. He was disappointed in something else. AJ felt that his relationship with Harm was something more than a commanding officer and subordinate despite their many disagreements.
Harm was in DC? He must be wrapping up a few loose ends. Like JAG, maybe? He could feel his anger rising.
"Well, I'm glad you called. Even if it seems I am last on your list. I believe I am owed more than that, commander," said AJ with a steely calm.
"Ah, yes sir. It is just that I didn't think there was much to talk about. The report on my TAD is done and will be on your desk tomorrow after I report to work. Mac tells me there is a backlog?"
AJ was silent. Harm is reporting to work tomorrow? He heard Harm's tinny voice continue through the cell phone earpiece. "Sir, she also told me you were under the impression I was joining the air wing on the Carl Vinson from Commander Lindsey? She said that you have been trying to contact me."
Harm continued. "I was vacationing in Hawaii with my parents and my laptop is busted. Lindsey must have got the idea from the CNO's office. Brooks made some inquiries about changing my designator. Never told me about it. I had given him my answer earlier in the week. Guess he thought he might be able to change my mind right up to the last minute. I apologize if this caused you any inconvenience, sir."
Silence. AJ willed himself to think of some sort of reply.
"Admiral? Are you still there?"
"Yes. Lindsey! I guess I should have known better than to trust him. I guess I owe you an apology," AJ sighed. He realized now that he had for once let a few old emotions run his head.
"I'm not sure why, sir," said Harm. "You didn't do anything."
"I thought a lot. Turns out I was mistaken. But I thought flying was important to you. Why didn't you jump at the chance Brooks was offering?"
"I guess all of the moonlighting I had been doing for the last year or so helped, right?"
"Well, you can't deny that you were running a pretty hectic schedule since you came back from Afghanistan. Although I have to admit, you never let me down at JAG. But I had this feeling that it was going to kill you, one way or another. Changing you designator to an active status as a pilot would simplify your life. No more legal work. So it was an easy assumption to make." The play was starting in the theatre behind him. AJ ignored it. He wanted to hear the commander's words.
"Yeah. It was a choice that would have simplified things. But I never do anything the easy way." Harm knew more of an explanation was in order.
He continued. "You and Mac both saw it. But I didn't. I thought I could manage both flying and JAG. And I did for a while. But you have no idea how dog tired I was starting to feel. And this perpetual sense that I was starting to let people down. But flying is something I couldn't let go. And I still can't entirely. But then I got that flu bug. I was stuck in isolation for a couple of days with nothing but my thoughts to keep me busy. And it struck me how stupid it all was. I'm not good at introspection. But I clarified a few things about what I wanted to do next.
When I started to fly missions again, I loved it. But there was nothing else. A carrier is a pretty singled minded place. I went through this before, on the Patrick Henry. There is an intellectual challenge to the law that is much like dog fighting. So when Brooks asked me, I thought about it. But I then I said no. I'm looking forward to getting back to JAG, sir."
AJ shifted the phone to the other ear. "Are you going to continue moonlighting for PAX?"
"I've given that some thought too. I'm not ready to give up flying altogether. But I think I've come up with a solution that will still make it worth the Navy's nickel to keep me qualified. I talked today to a buddy of mine at PAX. I'm going to limit my schedule and only fly for the Naval Air Warfare Center twice a month. I'm dropping everything else," said Harm.
AJ felt satisfied. Harm had done some thinking. And he had come up with a workable solution. And he knew it wasn't easy for the commander to admit that he needed to cut back. This reduction meant a sacrifice to Harm. In a funny way, Harm was acknowledging how important JAG really was. AJ sat down on a low upholstered bench in the foyer. It was his turn now, to recognize that. He thought about the right words.
"Harm, when I thought that you were going to leave JAG this time, I was angry. Angry because you hadn't spoken with me. But I was also angry that I was letting a good officer slip through my fingers. You are a good lawyer and litigator. But it is more than that. You are, with a few exceptions, a good influence on my people. They are inspired to take an occasional risk for the right reasons. Work stops being about always protecting your six. That is largely because of you."
"In other words, I've been in more shit than they ever could conceive and I am still here." AJ could hear Harm smiling even through the phone.
"That's one way to say it," said AJ. "Seriously, I've always backed you up. No matter what kind of stuff you stepped into. Not to protect you, but because I knew you were right. JAG has a reputation for being fair and effective. You have contributed to this in no small measure. I want to thank you. And thank you for sticking around."
It was Harm's turn to be silent. AJ smiled to himself. For once, Rabb had nothing to say.
Finally Harm spoke, "Maybe I shouldn't say this, but there was another reason I didn't stay. Brooks isn't my idea of a great commanding officer. When you have had the best, it's hard to lower your expectations. I am glad to be back at JAG, sir. Under your command."
AJ decided to turn the conversation. Time to fill the commander in on the changes over the last two months. Too many personal revelations and they both would be uncomfortable.
Later, AJ was standing in the foyer with two drinks from the foyer bar in his hand. It was intermission and he watched as Meredith made her way toward him through the crowd. She smiled at him.
"I hope it was an important phone call. You missed the entire first act," she said.
"It was a call from Harm," he said and handed her a glass of red wine. "How was the play?"
"Interesting. It is well paced. I like it so far. Harm? I haven't heard you refer to him as Harm for two months. What happened to Rabb? And you are smiling. It must have been some conversation."
"It was a good conversation. Harm is in DC at Mac's place. And he is starting back at JAG tomorrow. He is not flying. Well, he is still flying but he is cutting back. But he has chosen JAG not the Carl Vinson," AJ said quietly.
"That is good news."
"Yeah."
"I really never thought he would leave you high and dry. I had more faith in the commander than you did. But you said the CNO's office confirmed the transfer?"
"Well, I think I jumped the gun a little. I should have known better than to trust Lindsey."
"And you should have trusted Harm a little more. You two have a bond," said Meredith.
AJ snorted and rolled his eyes. Meredith shook her head and laughed.
"He is at the colonel's?"
"Yes…" AJ knew what direction the conversation was going to take.
"Two months away and the first thing he does is show up at Mac's. What does that tell you?" Meredith was smiling. This wasn't the first time they had discussed this.
"I don't know. You tell me. It's my policy not to interfere in the personal lives of my officers."
"Oh AJ, wake up and smell the roses. There is something else around DC he likes besides JAG. No offense to you."
They both heard the soft pinging of the five-minute warning. AJ said, "Saved by the bell. Let's go. I've missed enough of Queen Bess already."
"You would think a two star admiral would have more fortitude. If it were I, I'd find a way to get Harm and Mac together. You need to take a few more risks, dear," said Meredith.
"I already have more than enough problems on my desk without adding that one. Come on, Meredith, let's go watch Walton's Mountain do Elizabethan England," AJ said and with that they walked through the theatre doors.
