A/N: I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT UPDATING FOR SOONER. I RAN OUT OF IDEAS THEN I
WENT ON A VACATION AND GOT SICK I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO READ THIS
STORY AND REVIEWED. I APPRECIATE IT. ANYWAY, HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER.
ENJOY.
~*~
Mimi sat quietly in the waiting room of the abortion clinic just half an hour from Salem. She looked down at the form in her hands and sighed, then looked at the women around her.
None of them seemed happy. She scanned the small crowd which consisted of mostly women. Some were showing while others weren't but none of them could look up. They were all ashamed.
A girl, just a few years older than she was looked incredibly unhappy but Mimi could see that there was a determination in her eyes. She wanted to get rid of the baby. The girl shot her a look and narrowed her eyes at Mimi as if to say, don't look at me and judge me when you're here to do the exact same thing that I am.
Mimi shuddered away as she turned her attention to the rest of the group. Some of them were her age, others in their later years. But most of them were alone and looking sullen.
A girl with bright red hair was crying in the corner, her hand protectively placed on her stomach while she sobbed hysterically. She looked just about Mimi's age if not older. A man was sitting next to her telling the girl that everything would be alright once the baby was out of the way. The girl shook her head.
Mimi fought back her tears as she listened. The girl was wailing like she was in pain, begging the person she was with to take her back and not force her to do it. The man looked down and shook his head. "I love you but you have to do it." He insisted and Mimi looked away.
No one had to be forced to give their child away, much worse kill it.
"How hypocritical of me." She said bitterly, getting strange looks from the women close to her who heard her speak to herself. Mimi quickly gave them an apologetic look and continued to stare down at the form that she still had to finish filling in. Without thinking, she filled in the blank spaces and handed it over to the girl behind the counter who looked completely unmoved by anything that went around her.
An hour, later, after most of the women were called it was finally Mimi's turn.
"You can take your clothes off here and wear that. The doctor will be here shortly." The nurse said as she led Mimi to a room. She was pointing at a material that was shaped like a nightgown but oddly looked like paper.
Mimi nodded silently as she swallowed the lump on her throat. The nurse gave her a sympathetic smile and closed the door. With shaking hands, she stripped her clothes, excluding her bra, while she looked around at what looked like where the abortion was going to be performed.
There was a sink by a high window while the counter was covered with surgical equipments from cotton to cloths to a scalpel. Mimi shuddered as she put her clothes on the chair by the corner and proceeded to sit on what looked like the surgical bed.
A few minutes later, the doctor came in followed by a nurse. "Hi, I'm Dr. Nightly. Let's see your charts here." The woman said without shaking Mimi's hand. "You're about a few months along. Is the correct?" Mimi nodded. "Is there anyone here that you want to bring in?"
Mimi frowned a little, not understanding why she would bring in anyone in the first place. From how Dr. Nightly spoke, it seemed as if she was wondering why Mimi did not bring anyone to share the experience with.
She shook her head.
"Okay, then. Just lay back down and it will be over before you know it." She said and Mimi did so. "Put your feet here." She instructed.
"What are you going to do?" Mimi asked as she stared at the ceiling, hot tears in her eyes.
"We're going to do a quick D&C and then you're all done. Back to normal." The doctor quipped.
"Is it going to hurt?"
"Just relax. My nurse, Elizabeth here will hold your hand if she has to." Dr. Nightly said. Suddenly there was flick and all Mimi could hear was the sucking noise of the vacuum.
A million things rushed in her mind and she screamed. "Stop! Oh, God. Stop it! Please!" She begged but the vacuum droned on and her voice was lost in the noise.
************************************************************************
"Where have you been?" Maureen Lockhart demanded the moment the front door opened and her daughter walked in.
"Mom, I'm tired. Can this please wait?" Mimi asked as she ran a hand through her hair.
Maureen sighed, looking at her daughter suspiciously. "What happened to you?" She asked warily.
Mimi shook her head as her eyes refused to meet her mother's. "Bad day." She answered weakly. "I'm going to bed." She said as she ran up the stairs before Maureen could protest. She closed the door behind her and ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up. Groaning, she leaned her head against the toilet seat. Fifteen minutes later, when she had vomited everything that was in her stomach, she turned the shower on and got in. Mimi scrubbed herself fiercely, wanting to wash away the filth of the clinic and her shame. Feeling nausea hit her, she hurriedly got out in fear of passing out and slipping.
She dried, changed and curled in her bed sleepily. The phone rang a few times but she ignored it as she sobbed on her pillow.
Mimi groaned when she felt a hand touch her face. "Go away." She muttered. A voice answered her and Mimi's eyes shot up when she realized who it was. "What are you doing here, Jase?" She asked as she turned to her side.
He shrugged his shoulders as he sat back on the chair that he had dragged to her bedside. "Well, since you ran off yesterday, I've been worried sick about you. I just thought I'd pay you a visit to see if you were still alive." He said sarcastically. "And your parents said that it was okay that I see you since you won't talk to anyone else. I might as well try."
"So, you're here to punish me." She said as she looked up at the ceiling. "Can it wait until I'm actually presentable?" She asked somewhat scornfully.
"I don't care if you're presentable or not, Mimi. You should never have run off like that. Do you know how worried I was?" He snapped.
"Jason, do NOT lecture me." She retorted as she kicked the covers off of her and stood up. Her head started to spin and her knees went weak. She sat back down on her bed and put her head in her hands.
"You okay?" He worriedly asked as he rushed to her side.
She shook her head, finally feeling the strain of yesterday's ordeal. "I'm not okay, Jase." She answered quietly as she let herself lean on him.
Jason's arm instinctively went around her waist and he pulled her closer to him.
"Where did you go?" He asked and she looked up, startled.
She hadn't prepared herself for an explanation. Mimi looked away as she tried to find an excuse to tell him.
"Meems, if you don't want to tell me then don't but don't lie." He said.
Mimi sighed. "Why are you here?" She asked.
"Because I care." He answered shortly.
She shook her head at him. "Haven't I made things clear yesterday? We're not going to work, Jase. Please let it go."
He looked at her stubbornly. "Is this because of what happened to you?" He asked hesitantly.
"Go away." She said.
"No, I'm not going away. You can't hide from this forever, Meems. I'm sorry that I'm being harsh but it's eating you away and I don't want you this way." He said defiantly.
"You don't get what you want, Jason! Neither do I! This is not about what we want anymore, okay? This is about what I have to deal with so do me a favor and go away. You don't understand." She said angrily as she pulled away from him.
"No, I don't but-"
"Jason, stop! Nothing, and I mean nothing can make us work. I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. You're just scared." He said firmly and she sighed as she started to cry.
"You're making it worse." She said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Jason, don't do this to me."
"I'm not doing anything to you!"
"Yes, you are!" She exclaimed through her tears. "You don't want this. You don't want me." She said firmly.
Jason sighed. "I'll decide what I want." He argued.
"And I'll decide what's good for me. We're not good, Jason. Whatever you think we may have, it's nothing. Please believe me."
He shook her head at her, truly disappointed. "Why do you hate yourself so much for what happened? It wasn't your fault." He said.
She looked at him astonished. "I don't hate myself." Mimi said weakly.
"Yes, you do. I know it Meems and don't argue with me. You think you're to blame. You think that you don't deserve happiness but you do and I'll prove it." He said sincerely.
"Right and you're the great big cure to my unhappiness. You can save me. Typical." She said sarcastically as she looked at him with anger. He was making everything worse. He was making her feel worse but as much as she argued with Jason, Mimi didn't really believe half of what she said.
She wanted to be with him. She wanted to find the happiness that Jason insists that she deserve. But like she said, it wasn't about what she wanted. It was what was right and being Jason was not it.
She would hurt him. When he finds out what happened, Mimi knew that she'd break his heart and he wouldn't be able to forgive her.
"I am not going to abandon you." He swore.
Mimi shook her head. "But I am already alone, Jason. Don't you get it? No matter how much you are there for me, I will always be alone." She said dejectedly.
"You're giving up? Is that it?"
Mimi scoffed. "I can't give up. I'm going to be stuck with this thing for a while." She said unhappily as she looked down at her stomach, her hand over it. She gasped in horror as she looked at Jason.
She slipped.
"What?" He asked; a frown on his face.
Mimi shook her head warily. "I really, really think you should go Jason." She said giving him a gentle shove to the door.
"What did you mean by your going to be stuck with this thing?" He asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, Jason. Just babbling." She hastily answered.
Jason stopped and he looked at her for a long time, his eyes searching her. "Mimi..are you-?"
She shook her head angrily as she started to cry again. "I told you...I told you that you'd be sorry..." She said between her sobs. She fell on the floor as she started to rock herself through her tears.
Jason knelt beside her and his arms went around her as he pulled her into an embrace. "I am so sorry." He said as he forced himself to control his emotions.
She didn't have to say it. He knew that she was.....pregnant. He saw it in her eyes, from the way she tried to deny it, from how her hand rested somewhat protectively over her stomach.
"I went to the clinic to get rid of it." She whispered into his shirt. "But I couldn't do it. Jason, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this to you. I never wanted this." She said as she started to shake.
"Shh, Meems, it isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." He said as he rubbed her back soothingly.
"What am I going to do with...a baby? I don't even want it? How can I look at it for the rest of my life and know that I will hate it?" She asked as she rested her head on his chest.
"It's part of you too, Mimi. It has goodness inside it. It has you." He said quietly.
She said nothing to answer him. "How am I going to explain this to my parents?"
"I'll be there. Whatever happens, I'll be there. I promise." He said as he kissed her hair.
Mimi put her arms around Jason, hugging him tighter. "I'm glad I have you, Jason. I'm glad you're here." She whispered to him as hot tears continued to fall.
"Me too, Meems. Me too." He said quietly as his heart continued to break.
She was right. It was over for them.
~*~
A/N: I HAVE BAD NEWS GUYS. I THINK THAT THIS STORY IS GOING TO HAVE A SAD ENDING BUT THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL TO MAKE UP FOR IT. I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OK AND THEN I'LL MAKE THE FINAL DECISION AS SOON AS I UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER.
LIKE BEFORE, THE SOONER YOU READ AND REVIEW, THE SOONER I UPDATE.
THANKS FOR READING.
~*~
Mimi sat quietly in the waiting room of the abortion clinic just half an hour from Salem. She looked down at the form in her hands and sighed, then looked at the women around her.
None of them seemed happy. She scanned the small crowd which consisted of mostly women. Some were showing while others weren't but none of them could look up. They were all ashamed.
A girl, just a few years older than she was looked incredibly unhappy but Mimi could see that there was a determination in her eyes. She wanted to get rid of the baby. The girl shot her a look and narrowed her eyes at Mimi as if to say, don't look at me and judge me when you're here to do the exact same thing that I am.
Mimi shuddered away as she turned her attention to the rest of the group. Some of them were her age, others in their later years. But most of them were alone and looking sullen.
A girl with bright red hair was crying in the corner, her hand protectively placed on her stomach while she sobbed hysterically. She looked just about Mimi's age if not older. A man was sitting next to her telling the girl that everything would be alright once the baby was out of the way. The girl shook her head.
Mimi fought back her tears as she listened. The girl was wailing like she was in pain, begging the person she was with to take her back and not force her to do it. The man looked down and shook his head. "I love you but you have to do it." He insisted and Mimi looked away.
No one had to be forced to give their child away, much worse kill it.
"How hypocritical of me." She said bitterly, getting strange looks from the women close to her who heard her speak to herself. Mimi quickly gave them an apologetic look and continued to stare down at the form that she still had to finish filling in. Without thinking, she filled in the blank spaces and handed it over to the girl behind the counter who looked completely unmoved by anything that went around her.
An hour, later, after most of the women were called it was finally Mimi's turn.
"You can take your clothes off here and wear that. The doctor will be here shortly." The nurse said as she led Mimi to a room. She was pointing at a material that was shaped like a nightgown but oddly looked like paper.
Mimi nodded silently as she swallowed the lump on her throat. The nurse gave her a sympathetic smile and closed the door. With shaking hands, she stripped her clothes, excluding her bra, while she looked around at what looked like where the abortion was going to be performed.
There was a sink by a high window while the counter was covered with surgical equipments from cotton to cloths to a scalpel. Mimi shuddered as she put her clothes on the chair by the corner and proceeded to sit on what looked like the surgical bed.
A few minutes later, the doctor came in followed by a nurse. "Hi, I'm Dr. Nightly. Let's see your charts here." The woman said without shaking Mimi's hand. "You're about a few months along. Is the correct?" Mimi nodded. "Is there anyone here that you want to bring in?"
Mimi frowned a little, not understanding why she would bring in anyone in the first place. From how Dr. Nightly spoke, it seemed as if she was wondering why Mimi did not bring anyone to share the experience with.
She shook her head.
"Okay, then. Just lay back down and it will be over before you know it." She said and Mimi did so. "Put your feet here." She instructed.
"What are you going to do?" Mimi asked as she stared at the ceiling, hot tears in her eyes.
"We're going to do a quick D&C and then you're all done. Back to normal." The doctor quipped.
"Is it going to hurt?"
"Just relax. My nurse, Elizabeth here will hold your hand if she has to." Dr. Nightly said. Suddenly there was flick and all Mimi could hear was the sucking noise of the vacuum.
A million things rushed in her mind and she screamed. "Stop! Oh, God. Stop it! Please!" She begged but the vacuum droned on and her voice was lost in the noise.
************************************************************************
"Where have you been?" Maureen Lockhart demanded the moment the front door opened and her daughter walked in.
"Mom, I'm tired. Can this please wait?" Mimi asked as she ran a hand through her hair.
Maureen sighed, looking at her daughter suspiciously. "What happened to you?" She asked warily.
Mimi shook her head as her eyes refused to meet her mother's. "Bad day." She answered weakly. "I'm going to bed." She said as she ran up the stairs before Maureen could protest. She closed the door behind her and ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up. Groaning, she leaned her head against the toilet seat. Fifteen minutes later, when she had vomited everything that was in her stomach, she turned the shower on and got in. Mimi scrubbed herself fiercely, wanting to wash away the filth of the clinic and her shame. Feeling nausea hit her, she hurriedly got out in fear of passing out and slipping.
She dried, changed and curled in her bed sleepily. The phone rang a few times but she ignored it as she sobbed on her pillow.
Mimi groaned when she felt a hand touch her face. "Go away." She muttered. A voice answered her and Mimi's eyes shot up when she realized who it was. "What are you doing here, Jase?" She asked as she turned to her side.
He shrugged his shoulders as he sat back on the chair that he had dragged to her bedside. "Well, since you ran off yesterday, I've been worried sick about you. I just thought I'd pay you a visit to see if you were still alive." He said sarcastically. "And your parents said that it was okay that I see you since you won't talk to anyone else. I might as well try."
"So, you're here to punish me." She said as she looked up at the ceiling. "Can it wait until I'm actually presentable?" She asked somewhat scornfully.
"I don't care if you're presentable or not, Mimi. You should never have run off like that. Do you know how worried I was?" He snapped.
"Jason, do NOT lecture me." She retorted as she kicked the covers off of her and stood up. Her head started to spin and her knees went weak. She sat back down on her bed and put her head in her hands.
"You okay?" He worriedly asked as he rushed to her side.
She shook her head, finally feeling the strain of yesterday's ordeal. "I'm not okay, Jase." She answered quietly as she let herself lean on him.
Jason's arm instinctively went around her waist and he pulled her closer to him.
"Where did you go?" He asked and she looked up, startled.
She hadn't prepared herself for an explanation. Mimi looked away as she tried to find an excuse to tell him.
"Meems, if you don't want to tell me then don't but don't lie." He said.
Mimi sighed. "Why are you here?" She asked.
"Because I care." He answered shortly.
She shook her head at him. "Haven't I made things clear yesterday? We're not going to work, Jase. Please let it go."
He looked at her stubbornly. "Is this because of what happened to you?" He asked hesitantly.
"Go away." She said.
"No, I'm not going away. You can't hide from this forever, Meems. I'm sorry that I'm being harsh but it's eating you away and I don't want you this way." He said defiantly.
"You don't get what you want, Jason! Neither do I! This is not about what we want anymore, okay? This is about what I have to deal with so do me a favor and go away. You don't understand." She said angrily as she pulled away from him.
"No, I don't but-"
"Jason, stop! Nothing, and I mean nothing can make us work. I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. You're just scared." He said firmly and she sighed as she started to cry.
"You're making it worse." She said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Jason, don't do this to me."
"I'm not doing anything to you!"
"Yes, you are!" She exclaimed through her tears. "You don't want this. You don't want me." She said firmly.
Jason sighed. "I'll decide what I want." He argued.
"And I'll decide what's good for me. We're not good, Jason. Whatever you think we may have, it's nothing. Please believe me."
He shook her head at her, truly disappointed. "Why do you hate yourself so much for what happened? It wasn't your fault." He said.
She looked at him astonished. "I don't hate myself." Mimi said weakly.
"Yes, you do. I know it Meems and don't argue with me. You think you're to blame. You think that you don't deserve happiness but you do and I'll prove it." He said sincerely.
"Right and you're the great big cure to my unhappiness. You can save me. Typical." She said sarcastically as she looked at him with anger. He was making everything worse. He was making her feel worse but as much as she argued with Jason, Mimi didn't really believe half of what she said.
She wanted to be with him. She wanted to find the happiness that Jason insists that she deserve. But like she said, it wasn't about what she wanted. It was what was right and being Jason was not it.
She would hurt him. When he finds out what happened, Mimi knew that she'd break his heart and he wouldn't be able to forgive her.
"I am not going to abandon you." He swore.
Mimi shook her head. "But I am already alone, Jason. Don't you get it? No matter how much you are there for me, I will always be alone." She said dejectedly.
"You're giving up? Is that it?"
Mimi scoffed. "I can't give up. I'm going to be stuck with this thing for a while." She said unhappily as she looked down at her stomach, her hand over it. She gasped in horror as she looked at Jason.
She slipped.
"What?" He asked; a frown on his face.
Mimi shook her head warily. "I really, really think you should go Jason." She said giving him a gentle shove to the door.
"What did you mean by your going to be stuck with this thing?" He asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, Jason. Just babbling." She hastily answered.
Jason stopped and he looked at her for a long time, his eyes searching her. "Mimi..are you-?"
She shook her head angrily as she started to cry again. "I told you...I told you that you'd be sorry..." She said between her sobs. She fell on the floor as she started to rock herself through her tears.
Jason knelt beside her and his arms went around her as he pulled her into an embrace. "I am so sorry." He said as he forced himself to control his emotions.
She didn't have to say it. He knew that she was.....pregnant. He saw it in her eyes, from the way she tried to deny it, from how her hand rested somewhat protectively over her stomach.
"I went to the clinic to get rid of it." She whispered into his shirt. "But I couldn't do it. Jason, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this to you. I never wanted this." She said as she started to shake.
"Shh, Meems, it isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." He said as he rubbed her back soothingly.
"What am I going to do with...a baby? I don't even want it? How can I look at it for the rest of my life and know that I will hate it?" She asked as she rested her head on his chest.
"It's part of you too, Mimi. It has goodness inside it. It has you." He said quietly.
She said nothing to answer him. "How am I going to explain this to my parents?"
"I'll be there. Whatever happens, I'll be there. I promise." He said as he kissed her hair.
Mimi put her arms around Jason, hugging him tighter. "I'm glad I have you, Jason. I'm glad you're here." She whispered to him as hot tears continued to fall.
"Me too, Meems. Me too." He said quietly as his heart continued to break.
She was right. It was over for them.
~*~
A/N: I HAVE BAD NEWS GUYS. I THINK THAT THIS STORY IS GOING TO HAVE A SAD ENDING BUT THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL TO MAKE UP FOR IT. I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OK AND THEN I'LL MAKE THE FINAL DECISION AS SOON AS I UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER.
LIKE BEFORE, THE SOONER YOU READ AND REVIEW, THE SOONER I UPDATE.
THANKS FOR READING.
