Title: Chosen One
Summary: Anakin Skywalker was the Chosen One. But what was it that went wrong to make him plunge to the dark side? Was it his relationship with his Master? Or was it the fear hidden in his own heart?
'Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-wan Kenobi.'
I'll never forget the very first moment I met him.
When I meet people for the first time, when I stare into their eyes, I can see things, sometimes. Things buried right inside of them. Inside Obi-wan, well, I don't really know. I only saw it once, and never again. Sort of a sternness, a seriousness, a very focused mind. All I knew then was that he was very very different from Qui-gon, the Jedi Master who had freed me from slavery.
"Wow! You're a Jedi Knight, too, aren't you?"
I was really impressed. I won't deny it. Back then, I thought all Jedi were courageous Guardians of the Peace. Of course, I know better now, but even then, Obi-wan seemed like a nice enough Jedi. A little cool, and aloof, perhaps. He didn't radiate warmth like Qui-gon did, and I didn't notice why until I was much older.
I thought maybe he just didn't like it that Qui-gon had gone out of his way to rescue me. Maybe he thought I was some sort of 'extra' or something like that. Not on the Mission Agenda. I could certainly tell that he was annoyed. That could have been it, but now that I look back, I know why exactly.
Obi-wan was jealous.
He was the one who had done the Midi-chlorian Count. He knew I had enormous potential, far more than he did. There's a difference between talent and hard work. I guess I was born talented. Maybe that's not fair, but that's the way it turned out.
And I think he was afraid. Afraid that Qui-gon would take me as an apprentice and not him.
The way he first looked at me, I could tell it was sort of like a calculating, hostile kind of look. The kind you give to your opponent when you first step into the duelling ring with him, sizing him up.
'I take Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan Apprentice."
Through the Force, I could feel Obi-wan's shock, yet somehow, I also got the feeling that he had been half-expecting it, in fact, that he was resigned to it. That was how well Obi-wan knew his Master.
Yet I felt a sort of hope. That I could be Qui-gon's Apprentice.
"Obi-wan is ready."
Immediately, as soon as those words left Qui-gon's mouth, I could almost see the Bond between them rip in two, even though I was so distanced from them, had only known them for a few days. The great rift that opened up between them was deep, very deep. I had a feeling it had never been this deep before.
"I am! I am ready to face the trials!"
Obi-wan had tried hard to mask the hurt and disappointment in his voice, but I've learnt one thing – you can't hide your feelings from a whole roomful of Force-sensitive Jedi. I looked at the both of them, the first two Jedi I'd ever met, standing side-by-side, and I knew what it was that a Master and Apprentice pair should be.
United.
Together.
Even after all this, he still stood behind Qui-gon. I knew Qui-gon was defying the Council, and it was obvious to everyone that Obi-wan didn't like it, but still, he backed Qui-gon up. It takes guts to do this, in front of twelve of the most respected and the wisest Jedi in the Order.
When I look back, I can see how uncomfortable Obi-wan actually was in standing up against the Council. But that's Obi-wan – he never liked to go against the rules. Sometimes, I wonder how he survived all those years with Qui-gon, and how he managed to live with me after that. He's stiff, and sometimes, that can be annoying, but I guess, that's just his way, and I just don't like it.
When we were sent out of the Council Room, Qui-gon told me to go back to my quarters. I guess he and Obi-wan had a lot to talk about. I don't know what they talked about then. I don't think I'll ever know, because Obi-wan never mentioned it. All I know is that things were pretty tense the next few days.
'The boy is dangerous. They all sense it. Why can't you?'
By his voice, I could tell that Obi-wan was angry, and very frustrated.
And I was afraid. What if I couldn't become a Jedi? What if, after all his promises, Qui-gon didn't train me? Then what would happen to me, a freed slave boy from Tatooine? And what did he mean by dangerous?
"That should be enough for you, now get on board!"
Qui-gon wasn't any friendlier to Obi-wan either. It was very clear they were in some kind of dispute, and it didn't take a lot of figuring out to know that I was at the heart of it. Obi-wan didn't want me to be trained, that much was clear, but Qui-gon had promised. He had promised me, and I was relieved he didn't want to go back on his promise.
Still, I felt bad. Qui-gon wanted to train me and let Obi-wan go, and Obi-wan must've been very hurt by that. I know I would have been. I know what it's like to be treated as though you're worthless. I hate it.
I didn't like the tension between the two of them. I guess I felt like an intruder, barging in and then pushing them both apart. I know for sure that Obi-wan was angry with me. He thought I was the problem, or maybe, he wanted to think that I was the problem, even though I think that he knew things ran deeper than that. Later, on the way back to Naboo, I tried to apologise to him, but he brushed me off, ignored me.
When I apologised to Qui-gon, he said it was okay, that I wouldn't be a problem, but I don't think he was correct, because sometimes, when I became an Apprentice, Obi-wan gets those far-away looks, and I know he thinks about this conflict between them. The last thing before Qui-gon's death.
'Once we get inside, Ani, you find a safe place to hide until this is over.'
That was the last thing Qui-gon said to me. Then I flew up in the starship, blew up the command centre…
And felt him scream out through the Force in pain.
I also felt something I don't think anyone else felt: Obi-wan's anger. Seething, red hot, anguished. It was all there, all powerful. He was a strong presence in the Force. And I could feel his hurt. So bad, it was as raw as a fresh wound. Maybe he actually screamed out loud. I wouldn't know.
But it seemed as though he were fighting furiously, for his life.
Then, it changed.
Almost as quick as turning on the lights in a dark room. The anger left him. Just calm, just peace. That was something Obi-wan learnt from Qui-gon that he never could pass down to me. In just one moment, it was gone. Replaced by the legendary peace and calm that a Jedi must possess all the time.
Some of the Jedi think Obi-wan struck Darth Maul down in pure anger.
I know the truth: he didn't.
He fought back for Qui-gon, and was there to watch his Master die.
'I will train you, just as Qui-gon would have done. I am your new Master, Anakin. You will study with me, and you will become a Jedi Knight, I promise you.'
At that time, I didn't doubt Obi-wan. Not one bit. Even though he had just started to warm up to me, I knew he would be every bit as committed as Qui-gon was.
Maybe I was being selfish, because at first, I only thought about what was going to happen to me. I didn't want to be freed from Tatooine only to have nothing to do, nowhere to go, when I finally got to the Jedi.
But sometimes, when I'm alone in my quarters, I wonder what was going through Obi-wan's mind as we stood together in front of the funeral pyre – Master and Apprentice – the very man who brought us together lying there, dead, engulfed by the flames.
There are rumours that say that Obi-wan only asked to train me because it was Qui-gon's dying wish. I know Obi-wan opposed my training at first, and I also know he loved Qui-gon very much. He wanted to do everything he could to please his Master, that's why he took me as his Apprentice. Later, he told me a lot of the Council approved, but Master Yoda didn't. They still thought I was dangerous, and somehow, that put a gap in between me and my new Master.
It's true, we had the natural Master-Padawan Bond – we had been destined for each other. But under the circumstances that brought us together, I guess I have to learn to forgive Obi-wan for sometimes being distanced.
Perhaps, when he was staring into the flames, Obi-wan was wondering what he could've done to save Qui-gon. He still thinks about it. Even now, after all those years. I should know.
He gets nightmares, something about not running fast enough, not making it through the gates fast enough, standing there while Qui-gon was run through with the red blade.
I suppose he had to give a blow-by-blow account to the Council, but I don't think he ever talked to anyone else about it. And certainly not me. Qui-gon's death still haunts him, he still thinks about Qui-gon, and so do I.
It sometimes makes me wonder if we were meant for each other.
The only common thread that binds us is a blue-eyed, maverick Jedi Master.
Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas. I'm making no money out of this.
Acknowledgements: Jesus, Padawan Nik-ka, PadmeAmidala,
A/n: I wrote this partly for a discussion on www.generalkenobi.com/etos and partly because I've always wondered… so…
