Entry two
Well I had attempted to get them to speak again about what is in
their hearts...though I didn't word it that way. And as usual I got
the same respone. I don't know if this is a futile mission; but, I'm
told that I should keep it up. I don't know if I can handle watching
them like that... in so much pain. And I don't think that they
realize that I've gone through the very same thing; only I talked
about what my pain felt like... in this diary. It's not the same as
talking to a real human being; but I know that if we all just sat and
talked about what was going on, instead of avoiding the real issues
we could all go on with our lives.
After I had asked the others about their 'pain', I left to the study
(it's the third door on the right, on the second story, and across
from the bathroom), to read. I don't like avoiding the subject, in
fact I hate it. But I just told them to think about what I had asked
them, then left; so that they could think about it.
About an hour later, Duo was standing in the doorway, with an unusual
expression on his face. I could tell that he had been crying... his
eyes were bloodshot, and I could see the stains that the tears had
made on his face. I didn't want to scare him away, by asking why he
had been crying; because I already knew why. Duo forced a slight
smile, and walked into the study, closing the door behind him, so the
others wouldn't interfer.
I told Duo that he didn't have to put on a show for me; because I
knew what he was feeling. With that said, the forced grin left his
face. Duo sat in front of me and told me that I was right about
having them talk about their pain. I must say that I was amazed;
maybe this wasn't as futile as I had thought it would be. If I just
got through to one of them, than perhaps with some time I could get
through to all of them.
I sat down on the floor with Duo, and nodded for him to continue. He
began with how his best friend Solo, had died, when he was seven. I
could tell that he couldn't stand the pain of talking about loosing
someone that close to him. I asked him if he wanted to stop; but, he
insisted that he wanted to continue.
About two hours past, before Duo was finished his story. He had told
me everything that his dark soul would allow him to tell me; and by
that time Duo was in tears and I was holding him in my arms, trying
to sooth him. I told him that I could understand his pain; since I
had also lost people who where close to me. I told him that the first
step in the road to recovery was to tell someone how you truely felt
about the situation. Getting over it and moving on with your life is
what a soldier does, so that he can move on to the next battle and
get over that one. I told him that we needed to be the cold-hearted
ones, in order to survive; but, after the war was over, we had become
so accusmed to getting over it and moving on, that we couldn't change.
Duo agreed with me. He told me that a part of him haunted him during
the war, and he couldn't ever get a good night's sleep without waking
up in a cold sweet, or hoping to God that he would die in his next
battle. I could see in his eyes that his pain began to leave him. He
was now beginning to heal his mental scars. I gave him some advice on
the subject, and told him to either see a phschotrist, or to start
writing his feelings down in whatever way he felt comfortable with.
Duo seemed to be even more overjoyed when I had told him this, and he
left, stating that he would get started on that right away.
I know that the others will come around sooner or later. I should
really tell them that I don't want them to die, and regret not ever
telling someone about the things that they went through. I know that
I would regret it if I didn't even attempt to change my life like I
did, nor even attempt to help them change their lives. And tomorrow
is another day, born with a fresh start... but the same pain. I know
that they'll relive that pain until they comfront the situation. I'll
try again tomorrow, and hopefully one of them will confide in me like
Duo did.
Well I had attempted to get them to speak again about what is in
their hearts...though I didn't word it that way. And as usual I got
the same respone. I don't know if this is a futile mission; but, I'm
told that I should keep it up. I don't know if I can handle watching
them like that... in so much pain. And I don't think that they
realize that I've gone through the very same thing; only I talked
about what my pain felt like... in this diary. It's not the same as
talking to a real human being; but I know that if we all just sat and
talked about what was going on, instead of avoiding the real issues
we could all go on with our lives.
After I had asked the others about their 'pain', I left to the study
(it's the third door on the right, on the second story, and across
from the bathroom), to read. I don't like avoiding the subject, in
fact I hate it. But I just told them to think about what I had asked
them, then left; so that they could think about it.
About an hour later, Duo was standing in the doorway, with an unusual
expression on his face. I could tell that he had been crying... his
eyes were bloodshot, and I could see the stains that the tears had
made on his face. I didn't want to scare him away, by asking why he
had been crying; because I already knew why. Duo forced a slight
smile, and walked into the study, closing the door behind him, so the
others wouldn't interfer.
I told Duo that he didn't have to put on a show for me; because I
knew what he was feeling. With that said, the forced grin left his
face. Duo sat in front of me and told me that I was right about
having them talk about their pain. I must say that I was amazed;
maybe this wasn't as futile as I had thought it would be. If I just
got through to one of them, than perhaps with some time I could get
through to all of them.
I sat down on the floor with Duo, and nodded for him to continue. He
began with how his best friend Solo, had died, when he was seven. I
could tell that he couldn't stand the pain of talking about loosing
someone that close to him. I asked him if he wanted to stop; but, he
insisted that he wanted to continue.
About two hours past, before Duo was finished his story. He had told
me everything that his dark soul would allow him to tell me; and by
that time Duo was in tears and I was holding him in my arms, trying
to sooth him. I told him that I could understand his pain; since I
had also lost people who where close to me. I told him that the first
step in the road to recovery was to tell someone how you truely felt
about the situation. Getting over it and moving on with your life is
what a soldier does, so that he can move on to the next battle and
get over that one. I told him that we needed to be the cold-hearted
ones, in order to survive; but, after the war was over, we had become
so accusmed to getting over it and moving on, that we couldn't change.
Duo agreed with me. He told me that a part of him haunted him during
the war, and he couldn't ever get a good night's sleep without waking
up in a cold sweet, or hoping to God that he would die in his next
battle. I could see in his eyes that his pain began to leave him. He
was now beginning to heal his mental scars. I gave him some advice on
the subject, and told him to either see a phschotrist, or to start
writing his feelings down in whatever way he felt comfortable with.
Duo seemed to be even more overjoyed when I had told him this, and he
left, stating that he would get started on that right away.
I know that the others will come around sooner or later. I should
really tell them that I don't want them to die, and regret not ever
telling someone about the things that they went through. I know that
I would regret it if I didn't even attempt to change my life like I
did, nor even attempt to help them change their lives. And tomorrow
is another day, born with a fresh start... but the same pain. I know
that they'll relive that pain until they comfront the situation. I'll
try again tomorrow, and hopefully one of them will confide in me like
Duo did.
