Reversed, Flipped, Reflected
Part 3: Reflected
Sometimes I wonder how the hell we ever got to be best friends. We're as different as the night and day, although I'm not quite sure who's what. You we're sunnier than I was, brightened more people's lives in a day than I ever did in my life, but you weren't exactly as intense. You're personality was a bit subtle considered to mine, when we stood together as children before adults when they approached us to marvel at our ability to get along despite the obvious conflict of interests. You were a responsible older brother, who was forever hugging a squirming Glenn tight. (No, you weren't affectionate. Glenn was a prickly toddler and you sure as hell weren't a cuddler, but like I said, you were responsible. And there was no way you were going to let Glenn wander free while he was going through several successive phases, even if it meant you yourself was going to have to receive the full brunt of his temporary inclination to kick, bite, and pinch.) You always had that warming, moronic smile on your face, as if you weren't an orphan who had been shown no real sympathy when his parents died and had to raise a tantrum-prone younger brother.
Who knew why you were so damned complaint, didn't resist against the world trampling down on you? My guess is that you just didn't want to let others in on how bad things were. Call it pride, consideration for sparing the rest of us your guilt-inducing whining, being stoic, I don't care. Why should I have? You were just a kid my age next door that happened to have the same interests, and I was going to take advantage of having a nearby friend, my mom's warnings about your emotional fragility be damned. I even liked Glenn, when I saw how irresistibly easy he was to taunt. It was fun to knock him down over and over again and see him explode, only to forgive me almost instantly.
My first encounter with you, though, was entirely different from when we met up again at age 12. We were both 4 and your dad had come into the shop, hauling you with one arm and the Einlanzer with the other. I was sitting on the floor, playing with some leftover materials that my dad used for forging, but stopped when your father set you down. While our parents held a conversation and conducted business, my mom shoved you gently towards me and told us to be nice to each other or something stupid like that. I don't remember exactly what happened, but you came away bawling, my mother ended up screaming at me, and your dad left rolling his eyes and patting you on the back. My own dad just laughed and said it was a shame for the son of the head dragoon to be such a scrawny crybaby.
You were okay once you hit puberty. You exactly my height, and just about the same build, so I never did figure out how you always beat me when we were sparring. I some rare instances, I did manage to get you to admit defeat, but even going into adulthood you were always more skilled than me; found a way to get whatever strategy I figured would give me the edge. I usually chalked it up to luck, except when I was feeling pathetic and inferior enough to tell myself that you were my superior in all aspects. But there was never any hard feelings that lingered, not matter what game you had bested me in. We'd argue sometimes, like all friends do, but it was just about the only thing you were worse at than me. You were slow to anger and quick to forget, while I was temperamental and stubborn, which usually meant I'd win without too much fuss. But then again, in a round about way, that just proved you were the better man, which pointed to my flaws, again.
The one big issue that we never got to fight about, but I wish we did, was Riddel. It was probably the only thing that we ever came across that really had any threat to our friendship. Everything else was just a stupid squabble didn't matter in the end, but forcing a woman to choose between two suitors is a touchy subject, especially you and your best friend are those two men and the fair lady was in your exclusive (because it was so hard for all four us to find other people that understood us.) childhood clique. Not that is was much of a choice for her. I don't know why I fell for her in the first place. She was soft and demure, and dedicated to giving herself away for other people. Just like you. The complete opposite of me.
Riddel and Dario. We both got teased for being so close to a girl just as we were hitting out dating years, but not making a single move on her until much later, but you were so perfectly matched with her that even strangers knew that it was no contest. When they passed us doing whatever we did back then in your yard, they'd ask whether or not you two were getting married. Then they'd turn to me and proclaim me the best man. For God's sake, they even sometimes playfully asked if Glenn was the prospective bridegroom, if he happened to be quietly nestled in her lap, dozing. But never me. I was too coarse for the shy, pretty girl who matured into a shy, beautiful woman.
But enough of that. Love's love. I never placed as much value on it as you did, although I'm pretty sure that I had to go through as much crap as you did when cupid speared me in the back. All I knew or cared about was that it sucked, and you can only go so far on that little of an impression. I know she's still your girl, Dario, and that even if she ever got past your death I never will. So I stay away, because I may feel like shit now, but that's a lot better than where a relationship based on polite indifference would leave me.
I doing everything I can to show you how grateful I am to you, because as sappy as it is, you really did end up changing a lot of people's lives during the short time you were alive. Riddel was happy for a while, and for that I should be ecstatic because I love her, but I don't really a give a fuck about that because she's strong, and she's always managed to cope, with or without you. We may complain about Glenn all the time, be could have turned out to be a lot worse without you there to guide him when he was a kid. I've kept up being a dragoon, despite the constant temptation to quit because it reminds me of what I did to you. But I figured that it's the only way to halfway redeem myself.
The only way for me to know that I wasn't subconsciously compelled to knock you off the edge because of jealousy is to repent, right? Dario, I'd never dream of taking your place as the head dragoon. I'm just not right for that position. But I'm trying everything I can help others the way you were so dedicated to. Even now I've swallowed up my pride to follow someone around a decade my junior, so I can help save the world.
So, even if it's against my will, I'm a better person. Just because you had to be such a goody-two-shoes and I have to live your life to some extent so I don't feel so guilty. Why the hell did you have to be such a saint? Now your sincerity and duty to the public has reflected onto me and I can't say I enjoy it very much. So what if others think more of me? I'm always busy checking up on Glenn for you, guiding those two dolts that considered you their mentor, looking after the numerous less fortunate individuals that latched themselves onto you.
Oh well. The brightness of the sun will reflect onto those who can (must) catch the light.
***
Don't ask. I'm a little tired and think of Karsh too much as a fighter to come up with philosophical ponderings for him. Most of it's just babble that I came up with now, not exactly the impression I had on him before. The love part is a fairly accurate interpretation on my thoughts on him, though. Karsh isn't as emotional as the other 3 members of the Termina (or Viper Manor) gang. I can just imagine him wailing on a little wimpish Dario, can't you? ;-P
I don't really like this one as much as the other 2. I dunno, Glenn's my favorite character and I had a lot of revelations about Riddel, but Karsh was HARD. I just didn't know exactly what to say about him. So a lot of it's just filler, I think. I don't think he swore enough though. (Ok, that sounded WEIRD.) But yeah, he's a grumpy character and he sounds a little carefree in this fic. Oh well, it's how I perceive him.
Wingheart: Congrats on the two new fics! (If every one would please be so kind to give a cheer for our new addition.) And thank you.
Alba Aulbath: Well, I don't think it would be impossible. But the scenario that my brother came up with seems a lot more likely to me, which is why I'm going to write it if I actually start "I'm Fine". What is this mysterious cause-and-effect plot that I have in mind? Lets see if we'll see. Oh, and what does naisu mean? Is it a mistype? (Thank you for reviewing, by the way.)
Kayse: I don't remember all that well, but you have to take the "Glenn path" instead of the "save Kid path" when she's dying from the poison sword wound that Lynx gave her. You have to get a boat to get somewhere, and Glenn asks if he can come along. I think all you have to do is say that you can't save kid and go to Termina. You loose Korcha and Mel, but that's no big deal. Korcha's only a temporary character anyway whose not that great, while Glenn's one of the best fighters, provided you can uncover the special stuff for him scattered around the Terminas. As for Kid *MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD* she'll be fine, so don't worry about it.
So here we are at the end of this mini-series. I hoped people liked it, and even if they didn't, it's ok, because at least I got something out of it. I'm considering writing an accompanying piece called "I'm Fine." that focuses on the same people and on Dario's death again, but runs psychologically deeper and it ultimately more disturbing. Also, it will be based on a series of events, so it's half analysis and half actual story. However, I'm easily exhausted by writing long things, so unless people speak up and ask for it, I might just discard the idea for more naptime. Then again, if I really get psyched about it, I might just write it. ;-)
Big thanks to reviewers, readers, and supporters. Hopefully this was an improvement over my previous works and as always, pleases review. If you want to speak to me directly, mention it and leave your e-mail address. I have to rest now, so bye, and til next time.
Part 3: Reflected
Sometimes I wonder how the hell we ever got to be best friends. We're as different as the night and day, although I'm not quite sure who's what. You we're sunnier than I was, brightened more people's lives in a day than I ever did in my life, but you weren't exactly as intense. You're personality was a bit subtle considered to mine, when we stood together as children before adults when they approached us to marvel at our ability to get along despite the obvious conflict of interests. You were a responsible older brother, who was forever hugging a squirming Glenn tight. (No, you weren't affectionate. Glenn was a prickly toddler and you sure as hell weren't a cuddler, but like I said, you were responsible. And there was no way you were going to let Glenn wander free while he was going through several successive phases, even if it meant you yourself was going to have to receive the full brunt of his temporary inclination to kick, bite, and pinch.) You always had that warming, moronic smile on your face, as if you weren't an orphan who had been shown no real sympathy when his parents died and had to raise a tantrum-prone younger brother.
Who knew why you were so damned complaint, didn't resist against the world trampling down on you? My guess is that you just didn't want to let others in on how bad things were. Call it pride, consideration for sparing the rest of us your guilt-inducing whining, being stoic, I don't care. Why should I have? You were just a kid my age next door that happened to have the same interests, and I was going to take advantage of having a nearby friend, my mom's warnings about your emotional fragility be damned. I even liked Glenn, when I saw how irresistibly easy he was to taunt. It was fun to knock him down over and over again and see him explode, only to forgive me almost instantly.
My first encounter with you, though, was entirely different from when we met up again at age 12. We were both 4 and your dad had come into the shop, hauling you with one arm and the Einlanzer with the other. I was sitting on the floor, playing with some leftover materials that my dad used for forging, but stopped when your father set you down. While our parents held a conversation and conducted business, my mom shoved you gently towards me and told us to be nice to each other or something stupid like that. I don't remember exactly what happened, but you came away bawling, my mother ended up screaming at me, and your dad left rolling his eyes and patting you on the back. My own dad just laughed and said it was a shame for the son of the head dragoon to be such a scrawny crybaby.
You were okay once you hit puberty. You exactly my height, and just about the same build, so I never did figure out how you always beat me when we were sparring. I some rare instances, I did manage to get you to admit defeat, but even going into adulthood you were always more skilled than me; found a way to get whatever strategy I figured would give me the edge. I usually chalked it up to luck, except when I was feeling pathetic and inferior enough to tell myself that you were my superior in all aspects. But there was never any hard feelings that lingered, not matter what game you had bested me in. We'd argue sometimes, like all friends do, but it was just about the only thing you were worse at than me. You were slow to anger and quick to forget, while I was temperamental and stubborn, which usually meant I'd win without too much fuss. But then again, in a round about way, that just proved you were the better man, which pointed to my flaws, again.
The one big issue that we never got to fight about, but I wish we did, was Riddel. It was probably the only thing that we ever came across that really had any threat to our friendship. Everything else was just a stupid squabble didn't matter in the end, but forcing a woman to choose between two suitors is a touchy subject, especially you and your best friend are those two men and the fair lady was in your exclusive (because it was so hard for all four us to find other people that understood us.) childhood clique. Not that is was much of a choice for her. I don't know why I fell for her in the first place. She was soft and demure, and dedicated to giving herself away for other people. Just like you. The complete opposite of me.
Riddel and Dario. We both got teased for being so close to a girl just as we were hitting out dating years, but not making a single move on her until much later, but you were so perfectly matched with her that even strangers knew that it was no contest. When they passed us doing whatever we did back then in your yard, they'd ask whether or not you two were getting married. Then they'd turn to me and proclaim me the best man. For God's sake, they even sometimes playfully asked if Glenn was the prospective bridegroom, if he happened to be quietly nestled in her lap, dozing. But never me. I was too coarse for the shy, pretty girl who matured into a shy, beautiful woman.
But enough of that. Love's love. I never placed as much value on it as you did, although I'm pretty sure that I had to go through as much crap as you did when cupid speared me in the back. All I knew or cared about was that it sucked, and you can only go so far on that little of an impression. I know she's still your girl, Dario, and that even if she ever got past your death I never will. So I stay away, because I may feel like shit now, but that's a lot better than where a relationship based on polite indifference would leave me.
I doing everything I can to show you how grateful I am to you, because as sappy as it is, you really did end up changing a lot of people's lives during the short time you were alive. Riddel was happy for a while, and for that I should be ecstatic because I love her, but I don't really a give a fuck about that because she's strong, and she's always managed to cope, with or without you. We may complain about Glenn all the time, be could have turned out to be a lot worse without you there to guide him when he was a kid. I've kept up being a dragoon, despite the constant temptation to quit because it reminds me of what I did to you. But I figured that it's the only way to halfway redeem myself.
The only way for me to know that I wasn't subconsciously compelled to knock you off the edge because of jealousy is to repent, right? Dario, I'd never dream of taking your place as the head dragoon. I'm just not right for that position. But I'm trying everything I can help others the way you were so dedicated to. Even now I've swallowed up my pride to follow someone around a decade my junior, so I can help save the world.
So, even if it's against my will, I'm a better person. Just because you had to be such a goody-two-shoes and I have to live your life to some extent so I don't feel so guilty. Why the hell did you have to be such a saint? Now your sincerity and duty to the public has reflected onto me and I can't say I enjoy it very much. So what if others think more of me? I'm always busy checking up on Glenn for you, guiding those two dolts that considered you their mentor, looking after the numerous less fortunate individuals that latched themselves onto you.
Oh well. The brightness of the sun will reflect onto those who can (must) catch the light.
***
Don't ask. I'm a little tired and think of Karsh too much as a fighter to come up with philosophical ponderings for him. Most of it's just babble that I came up with now, not exactly the impression I had on him before. The love part is a fairly accurate interpretation on my thoughts on him, though. Karsh isn't as emotional as the other 3 members of the Termina (or Viper Manor) gang. I can just imagine him wailing on a little wimpish Dario, can't you? ;-P
I don't really like this one as much as the other 2. I dunno, Glenn's my favorite character and I had a lot of revelations about Riddel, but Karsh was HARD. I just didn't know exactly what to say about him. So a lot of it's just filler, I think. I don't think he swore enough though. (Ok, that sounded WEIRD.) But yeah, he's a grumpy character and he sounds a little carefree in this fic. Oh well, it's how I perceive him.
Wingheart: Congrats on the two new fics! (If every one would please be so kind to give a cheer for our new addition.) And thank you.
Alba Aulbath: Well, I don't think it would be impossible. But the scenario that my brother came up with seems a lot more likely to me, which is why I'm going to write it if I actually start "I'm Fine". What is this mysterious cause-and-effect plot that I have in mind? Lets see if we'll see. Oh, and what does naisu mean? Is it a mistype? (Thank you for reviewing, by the way.)
Kayse: I don't remember all that well, but you have to take the "Glenn path" instead of the "save Kid path" when she's dying from the poison sword wound that Lynx gave her. You have to get a boat to get somewhere, and Glenn asks if he can come along. I think all you have to do is say that you can't save kid and go to Termina. You loose Korcha and Mel, but that's no big deal. Korcha's only a temporary character anyway whose not that great, while Glenn's one of the best fighters, provided you can uncover the special stuff for him scattered around the Terminas. As for Kid *MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD* she'll be fine, so don't worry about it.
So here we are at the end of this mini-series. I hoped people liked it, and even if they didn't, it's ok, because at least I got something out of it. I'm considering writing an accompanying piece called "I'm Fine." that focuses on the same people and on Dario's death again, but runs psychologically deeper and it ultimately more disturbing. Also, it will be based on a series of events, so it's half analysis and half actual story. However, I'm easily exhausted by writing long things, so unless people speak up and ask for it, I might just discard the idea for more naptime. Then again, if I really get psyched about it, I might just write it. ;-)
Big thanks to reviewers, readers, and supporters. Hopefully this was an improvement over my previous works and as always, pleases review. If you want to speak to me directly, mention it and leave your e-mail address. I have to rest now, so bye, and til next time.
