TITLE: "Bellowed Out"
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own 'em.
SPOILERS: Through Season 4
NOTES: This is just a little fun piece that popped into my head - which has now turned in to a series :-)
FEEDBACK: Sure, send it my way
**
"Morning, Josh," Donna said brightly as he passed her desk en route to his office. Josh merely grunted a response, entered his office and closed the door. Donna rolled her eyes, but left him to wallow in whatever was bugging him.
She entered his office ten minutes later, not bothering to knock, but closing his door behind her.
"So, how are you doing today, Josh?" she said cheerfully, taking a seat in the visitor's chair and preparing to read him his schedule. She was met with silence. "Why, I'm fine Donna, thanks for asking. How are you?" she said dryly. He looked up at her briefly but still said nothing. "Josh?" she tried again, getting impatient. "Earth to Josh, are you there?" A slight smirk appeared on his face before he returned his gaze to the memo in his hand.
Donna let out a loud sigh and then read his schedule aloud, finishing by telling him that he had Senior Staff in fifteen minutes. He shook his head at her.
"Josh? What are you shaking your head for? Is there something wrong with your schedule?" He nodded. "Well, what is it?" she asked impatiently. He looked at her for a moment but was still silent. "Josh!" she exploded. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I…" he trailed off, his voice almost inaudible; that got Donna's attention.
"Josh? Are you okay?" she asked softly, reaching across the desk to place a hand on his forehead; he didn't have a fever.
"I've lost my voice," he croaked. Donna sat back in her chair and fought valiantly to stifle her laughter, but failed after a few moments. "Don't," he warned, pointing a finger at her.
"I'm sorry," she gasped, amidst her laughter. "It's just, this is too good to pass up."
"Donna," he tried to command, his voice stopping it from emerging as more than a whiny whisper.
"I'm sorry," she repeated, trying to bring her laughter under control. "Oh, this is priceless. I really wanna be a fly-on-the-wall at Senior Staff." Josh shook his head vehemently. "Don't worry, Josh, I know I can't go."
"That's not what I meant," he said hoarsely. At her raised eyebrows he said, "I'm not going."
"Josh? You have to go. It's Senior Staff, you are a pretty big part of that group, you know." He smirked smugly and Donna rolled her eyes.
Josh tried to speak but no sound came out. He coughed and tried again, still nothing. Finally, with total frustration, he grabbed a legal pad and scribbled something before thrusting the pad across the desk to Donna. She looked at what he had written – 'I can't go. I'm not going to be any use like this, except as a punchbag for jokes.' – and then looked back at him.
"Josh, you don't really get much of a choice. What am I supposed to tell Leo? 'I'm sorry, Josh doesn't feel like going to the meeting today'?" He glared at her. "You could go and just sit and listen," she suggested. He glared some more. "Except, you can *never* just sit and listen, you always have to get your two cents worth in. Hey, maybe this will do you some good, teach you something about the art of listening," she grinned.
He snatched the pad back, ripped off the used top sheet, balled it up and threw it in the trash. He then hurriedly wrote on a fresh page and showed the words to Donna.
"You're fired!" she read. "Josh, you can't fire me even when you have a voice, do you really think you're gonna be able to do it now?" Donna asked through more laughter. He grabbed the pad back again and had his pen poised to write more when Donna interrupted him. "Look, before you break a few pens with the force you're using to write – is that some way of showing me that you're pissed, by the way? Anyway, before you do that, let's just cut to the chase; you have to go to Senior Staff, you don't get a choice. I'll call Margaret and explain; I'm sure Leo will be happy to have you there as a mere observer, in fact, I think he'll be *delighted* that you can't interrupt everyone like you usually do." She risked glancing at him and received the expected glare. "All your notes for the meeting are typed up, I'll make copies and you can hand them out, let everyone read them. If they have any questions, they can e-mail you." She was trying to make a practical suggestion but Josh balled up another piece of paper and threw it at her, casting her a 'not funny' look. "How did this happen anyway?" she asked seriously, catching the paper easily and throwing it in the trash; Josh raised his eyebrows in admiration when she made the shot easily. "You were fine when you left here last night," she stated. Josh shrugged his shoulders and wrote, slowly, on the pad 'I don't know. I woke up like this.' "Ah," Donna said, grinning at him. "See, I kept telling you that all the bellowing you do would catch up with you, but would you listen? Well, now you have no choice *but* to listen."
Josh glared at her again and then gave in to a cough. "Donna," he whispered warningly when he had stopped coughing. "Don't have too much fun, I'll get you back."
"Of course you will, Frog Boy." He gave her a strange look. "You're croaking," she explained. "You sound like a frog." Josh rolled his eyes at Donna's large smirk. "Anyway, I'll just go copy your notes and call Margaret. I'll be right back." She took the folder of notes from his desk and left the office, leaving the door open. Josh groaned as he heard her announce to the bullpen jubilantly, "Bring me the finest bagels and muffins in all the land! Today is gonna be a good day!"
*
Josh knocked loudly on the window of Donna's cubicle as he returned from Senior Staff and then pointed towards his office. She dutifully followed him and he closed the door after her.
He sat down at his desk and wrote on his legal pad before passing it to her; she had taken a seat in the visitor's chair again.
Donna read what he had written – 'You told CJ to call me frog boy!' – and grinned at him. "I didn't tell her to call you that," she defended. "Well, except maybe I did," she added quietly, laughing at the look on his face. "Actually, I didn't so much tell her as *suggest* to her; if she chose to take the ball and run with it, who am I to stop her?" He wrote on the pad again, asking when she'd had time to *suggest* anything to CJ. "Um, well, I might have called her after I called Margaret. Just to make sure she realized why you weren't saying anything in the meeting, you understand." Josh shot her a skeptical look and she shrugged her shoulders, grinning widely. "So, how did the meeting go anyway?"
"They laughed," Josh managed to croak out. "A *lot*."
"Well, you had to expect that."
"Yeah, but you gave Leo enough time to tell the President," he whispered hoarsely.
"The President came to the meeting?" she guessed.
"Yeah, he *popped in* to see for himself. He wants to see me tonight, so he can torture me on National Parks again. Like I didn't learn enough *last time*."
"Um, why does he want to do this tonight?" Donna asked sweetly, already knowing the answer and trying to suppress a grin.
"Because I'll be forced to listen," he said sulkily, before having another coughing fit.
Donna took pity on him and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge and handed it to him. He took a sip, but the coughing didn't subside, so she walked behind his desk to rub his back gently.
As Josh coughed, CJ knocked on the door and entered, raising her eyebrows at the reflection she saw in Josh's window; the sight of Donna standing behind Josh, one hand rubbing his neck and the other rubbing his back. Josh sat up straighter and Donna let her hands fall to her sides, moving away from him slightly. He was still coughing and CJ's face was beginning to share the same look of concern as Donna's.
"Josh, are you okay?" CJ asked quietly. He nodded his head and gave one final cough.
"Yes," he rasped, reaching for the water and finishing the bottle in one gulp. "What?" he whispered, giving her a look that asked her what she needed to see him about.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing. I just wanted to tell you that we all had a great time in Staff this morning. Are you gonna be doing an evening show as well?" she asked with a wide grin. Josh glared at her and Donna had to clamp a hand over her mouth to stop her laughter.
"Not funny!" he croaked.
"Oh, but it is, my now sexy-voiced friend," CJ stated. "How often are we pretty much guaranteed peace and quiet when Josh Lyman is around?" Josh narrowed his eyes at her. "Actually, I'll amend that statement," she continued. "I should have said just *quiet*, I know you can cause trouble as fast as I can draw breath, whether you have a voice or not."
Josh grabbed his legal pad and scribbled on it, after trying to speak.
"You just made my list," she read aloud. "List? What list?"
He looked at Donna and she rolled her eyes as she guessed what he was meaning. "His list of people to get back," she explained. "I wouldn't worry though, CJ, he never remembers these things. I guess his voice is now joining his memory, you know, going."
Josh threw a balled up piece of paper at Donna, which she easily avoided, and then turned to CJ. "Out," he whispered, making it seem commanding by pointing a finger towards the door. He then motioned to Donna to follow CJ and the two of them left his office, yelling "See you later, Frog Boy."
*
Despite having no voice, Josh had no other visible signs of being ill and this frustrated him, as he informed Donna via email; if he was going to have no voice, he at least wanted a *reason* for it, preferably one that would gain him some sympathy. Donna was trying her best not to laugh at him, or let him see her delight at his lost voice; she settled for not mocking him *too* much.
Abbey Bartlet entered Josh's office that afternoon to find him standing over Donna, who was sitting in his chair; Donna was surfing the Internet, at his insistence, to find possible reasons for him losing his voice so suddenly.
"Ah, Donna, there you are," the First Lady said by way of a greeting.
Donna swung round in her chair and started to stand up but was immediately waved back into her seat. "You're looking for *me*?" Donna asked with surprise.
"Yes, I brought you this," she replied, handing Donna a bottle of champagne which she set down on Josh's desk. "I believe you are doing some celebrating today, since Josh has lost his voice."
Josh managed to let out a loud groan and both women looked at him with amusement. Abbey took a seat in the visitor's chair and Donna wheeled her seat back to its usual place behind Josh's desk; Josh settled for sitting on the edge of his desk.
"Actually, Mrs Bartlet," Donna began, "you've dropped by at just the right time. Josh was wondering what could have happened to his voice, why it went so quickly. Have you any ideas?"
"Well, there could be any number of reasons," Abbey replied and Josh gave her a pleading look. "Do you have any other symptoms?" Josh shook his head and looked to Donna.
"Apparently, he just woke up this morning without a voice. Is that usual?"
"It can happen." She looked at Josh. "You're probably just tired, this is your body's way of telling you to take a break." He rolled his eyes. "This might go away as quickly as it came," she told him and he looked hopeful. "However, it might also be the start of a cold. So, look after yourself. I'm sure we all want to hear your dulcet tones again as quickly as possible."
Donna snorted at the First Lady's comment and Josh narrowed his eyes. "I already suggested that his bellowing might be the cause of the problem," Donna explained; Abbey grinned.
"Well, she might have a point, Josh," Abbey said with a smirk as she stood up. Josh stood up as well, moving behind Donna and pulling the chair out from the desk, effectively telling her to get out of his chair. Donna and Abbey grinned at each other as they started to leave the office. "I mean it, Josh, get some rest," Abbey instructed. Josh nodded as they left.
Donna returned a moment later. "I forgot this," she grinned, grabbing the champagne bottle from his desk. Josh rolled his eyes and shook his head, causing her to laugh as she left again.
*
Donna had been home for about two hours when her phone rang just before 10pm. "Hello?" After a few seconds of relative silence, she spoke again. "Okay, Josh, be thankful that I have Caller ID or I might be calling you a heavy breathing pervert right about now."
"Donna," he whined in a croaky voice.
"Josh, are you okay?" she asked with alarm; he sounded even worse than he had when he'd left the office. She had managed to persuade him to go home early, saying she'd tell the President that Abbey had told him to; Josh had jumped on the opportunity to get out of the President's trivia talk.
"No, my throat hurts," he complained, his voice raspy.
"Josh, your throat's been hurting all day," she pointed out.
"No, I just didn't have a voice before, my throat wasn't sore. It really hurts now though." At that, he gave in to a coughing fit; this time it was punctuated by sniffles.
"I'm on my way," Donna said immediately.
"No, I don't expect you to come over," Josh whispered seriously. "I just wanted to ask you what you think I should do, what should I take for it?"
"Um, Advil I guess, and drink plenty. I'm gonna come over though."
"Donna –"
"Josh, I'm coming over. I know what you're like. If I don't you'll end up phoning me a lot through the night to ask me questions about how to make you feel better, even though you can hardly talk and should know what to do anyway. I'll be there in twenty." She hung up the phone, let out a sigh and grabbed her coat and keys.
*
"Josh?" Donna called out as she let herself into his apartment. Finding his living room and kitchen empty, she headed for his bedroom. She found it empty as well but could hear the shower running. Stopping in front of the bathroom door, she said loudly, "Josh, I'm here. I'll be in the living room."
Josh appeared in the living room about ten minutes later, dressed in jeans and a sweater with his hair still wet.
Donna rolled her eyes at him. "Josh, why did you bother to get dressed again? You're going to bed."
"I'm not tired," he stated firmly, with a shake of his head.
"The best remedy for a cold is lots of rest, Josh," Donna replied, staring him down. He let out a huffy sigh and dropped onto the couch beside her. "Your voice sounds a little stronger," she said quietly.
"Yeah, but it hurts to talk," he grumbled.
"So, don't talk," she stated matter-of-factly, grinning at his narrowed eyes. "Did you eat anything?"
He shook his head as he answered. "No, it'll make my throat hurt more."
"No, it won't," she laughed. "You just have to eat the right stuff. I brought some soup, I'll go heat it up." Josh looked at her curiously. "I had a feeling you wouldn't have eaten so I grabbed it on the way out," she informed him.
"What kind?" he asked cautiously.
"Chicken noodle." She stood up and headed for the kitchen, stopping briefly to glance back at him. "I'll be right back with it, did you take some Advil?" He nodded his head and then grimaced, placing a hand on his forehead, effectively admitting that he had a headache. Donna gave him a pointed look and he curled up on the couch, laying his head on one end of it.
Donna returned five minutes later with a bowl of soup on a tray, which she placed on the coffee table. Josh sat up and eyed the bowl warily. Donna let out a long sigh and sat down beside him again, lifting the tray onto his lap and placing the spoon in his hand.
He managed to take a few spoonfuls of soup before coughing again and Donna moved the tray from his lap before it fell due to the shakes of his body as he coughed. When he regained control he shook his head as Donna reached for the tray again.
"No," he said hoarsely. "I've had enough."
"Josh, you have to eat more," Donna said firmly, but he shook his head again.
"I can't, Donna." He looked at her with pleading eyes and gave her a half-smile. "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea though." Donna returned his smile and rose to make some tea.
They were both slowly drinking tea when the phone rang. Donna started to reach for it but Josh batted her hand away and grabbed it before her. "Hello?" he croaked. "Oh, hi, CJ." He listened for a moment. "Yeah, my voice is stronger but I'm not –" he stopped talking abruptly and passed the phone to Donna just as he started sneezing.
"Hi, CJ, it's Donna."
"Donna, is Josh okay?" CJ asked worriedly.
"Yeah, he's okay. I think the First Lady was right though, his voice going was the first symptom of a cold."
"But his voice sounds stronger," CJ said with confusion.
"I know, but believe me, he's not well."
"Has he got to the annoying stage yet?" CJ asked with a smirk in her voice.
"Oh, like you wouldn't believe," Donna replied, passing Josh another tissue as he collapsed against the back of the couch, tired from the exertion of sneezing. "He's the only man I've ever met who can still whine even when he has no voice," Donna continued, earning a glare from Josh.
"He's quite something, isn't he?"
"Yes, he is quite something," Donna agreed, rolling her eyes as she noticed Josh's smug grin. "That's not a good thing," she said to Josh, who merely smirked before sneezing again. "CJ, I'd better go. I want to go and buy some shares in Kleenex, I have a feeling Josh is going to be buying tissues in bulk for the next few days."
"Okay, will he be at work tomorrow?"
"CJ!" Donna said with a laugh.
"Right, dumb question. He's not going to make you look after him all night, is he?"
"No, I'm just gonna persuade him that he really has to go to bed and then I'm going home. I only came over because I knew he'd keep bugging me otherwise.
"Yeah," CJ said in understanding. "Well, I'll see you both tomorrow."
"Bye, CJ." Donna hung up the phone and turned to Josh. "Are you going to give in and go to bed now?" she asked him pointedly.
"I'm still not tired," he whined.
"Josh!" She gave him a disbelieving look. "You're exhausted from coughing and sneezing. Go to bed," she ordered.
He was about to argue when he started coughing again; he knew any argument would be futile and he didn't have the energy. As much as he hated losing against Donna, he stood up and headed for his bedroom. Donna took their mugs to the kitchen and washed up before grabbing the box of tissues and crossing to Josh's closed bedroom door.
"Can I come in?" she asked quietly as she cracked the door open a little. Josh grunted and she opened the door fully. "Josh, you're supposed to be going to bed." He was standing looking out the window, still fully clothed.
He turned around and looked at her with a mischievous grin. "You know, I'm going to make sure you catch whatever it is that I have so that *you* will lose your voice. See how you like it," he told her.
"Okay," she said slowly. "And just how am I going to catch it, Josh?"
He thought for a moment and then grinned, laughingly telling her, "Well, it can probably be passed on by kissing."
Donna shot back a joking retort immediately, without thinking. "Hmm, I gotta say, I didn't think you'd ever kiss me for *that* reason." She realized too late where she'd placed the emphasis in her words and Josh raised his eyebrows at her. He crossed the room to stand in front of her as Donna blushed.
"Believe me, neither did I," he said neutrally. She gave him an unreadable look and he elaborated with a grin, "I have a whole other reason for kissing you, but now I can kill two birds with one stone." Donna grew wide-eyed at his words but she didn't back away as he leaned forward. His lips were tantalizingly close to hers and her heart started to race. She closed her eyes automatically and…Josh coughed in her face.
**
The End
