(Session 5 - Ed the Hacker)
"What's with the dog?" asked Spike. "He saved my life and for that I'm eternally in his debt," I said. "His name is Ein," I continued. "So if I save your life will you be my slave?" he said sarcastically. "No" I responded. "Damn" he whispered. Ein was enjoying his new home. I fed him and cleaned him up. "What's our next bounty?" Spike said. "None for now, we are going after a famous hacker called Ed," I said. "And who is this Ed" Spike said. "He is a hacker who crashed the famous company called Microsoft, the old hag Bill Gates went into a nervous breakdown after the crash" I responded. "He also crashed Linux, IBM, and can control any satellite," I continued. "Do you were to find him" Spike said. "Yeah, Earth, He or She lives there in a place use to be called Africa. Now their just a bunch of electronic colonies" I said. "But you don't know how he looks like, right" Spike said. "Yeah" I answered. Just then Faye came out of the shower. "You guys are looking for a nerd?" She said. "Not just a nerd, the nerd of all nerds, were going to hire him," I said. "Oh great that last thing we need is a nerd," Spike said. "He might be useful to find information on bounties," I said. We started to arrive in earth; the custom officer checked for our passport and let us through. We go there and got off. "Okay, lets split up, Spike go to Colony768, Faye you head to Neo Albia, I will head to Colony900" I said. They all agreed and we went our different directions. I met with this old man and asked him if he knew Ed. The only response he gave me is that Edward was a giant basketball player. I asked a kid and he said that Edward was an alien from Pluto. I asked a chick and the only thing she said is that Edward was a heavy metal drag queen. I asked a guy and he told me he was an agent from Neo United States. I asked an old women and she said that he was a porn star. I went back to the ship and met with the others. "Well, the only thing I found is that Ed is a basketball alien from Pluto that pretends to be a heavy metal drag queen who also works for the Neo United States government and has made a couple of porn videos" I said sarcastically. "All I got is that his name is Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the Fourth" Spike said. "I found his address" Faye said in a low voice. "What is it?" I said. She told us and we went. We got to some abandoned buildings were a major computer corporation was. The foundation seemed unstable and about to collapse. We went inside and found our self in a maze. The door behind us shut locked. We were in a small room made out of stone. Suddenly the walls started to close in on us. "Spike gets a hold of the wall," I screamed. Spike ran to the east wall and started to push; I ran to the west wall and pushed also. The wall was closing on us. Faye suddenly ran to a block and pushed it. The walls stopped moving and a secret door opened. "How did you know that the secret button was there?" I asked. "I don't know lucky guess," Faye said. "Alright let's keep going," I said. We kept going through the dark hallway. It was damp and gloomy, smell like rat shit too. We suddenly fell into this pit, which took us to this room. A computer was in the center of the room in a glass container. The computer went on and asked us a question. "What is 4+4?" asked the computer. "Uh. 8" Faye responded. "What is the third planet from the sun?" asked the computer. "Earth" answered Spike. "Last question, what your ship's name is" the computer asked. "Bebop" I responded. "All is correct but one question. The first answer was uh. 8 is incorrect, uh is not a recognized component, you will now be terminated" the computer exclaimed. "Nice going Faye" Spike screamed. Faye just chuckled nervously. Suddenly the room started to fill with water and fast. We started to panic and looked for a button to stop the water. Suddenly the water was high enough to swim in it. It was getting higher and higher. "Damn!" Spike screamed. Soon there was only a gap between the roof and our heads. Then it was full, the room was completely full. Spike got the idea to kick the computer and tried to break the glass. We were under water for at least 40 seconds before the glass started to crack. Faye started to faint underwater, she was starting to close her eyes and she was slowing down. Finally Spike broke the computers shield and the water cause the computer to short circuit which shocked us for ten seconds. The water started to drain and we were lying on the floor. We were looking at each other and Spike notice Faye had stopped breathing. "Shit, Faye. Faye. Wake up" Spike screamed at her. "Wake up Faye. C'mon" Spike continued. Spike placed his head on her chest and started to search for a heartbeat. "Damn. C'mon Faye don't go" Spike screamed. Spike started to do CPR and mouth to mouth. To everyone's surprise Faye started to cough and spit out water. "Wha. Wha. What happen" She asked. "You were dying Faye" Spike said. "Spike here saved you" I said. Faye skin color was pale and her lips started to turn blue. She was very cold and was trembling. Spike got his coat, drained all the water out of it and covered Faye. Faye started to walk but kept stumbling, so Spike picked her up and carried her. The door in front of us opened and we went through. We kept walking for a couple of minutes and found ourselves in a room with nice tiling and a close door in front of us. Suddenly a giant robot fell through the roof. "Does not compute, kill Bebop Team" the robot said. "Shit, another task" I said. "Let me handle this" Spike said. "Here carry Faye for a while" he continued. He handed me Faye and went to the robot. The robot pointed an Uzi at Spike, but before the robot can shoot Spike already knocked the gun out of his hands. He then pulled out his gun and shot the robot in the head. "System malfunction" the robot said. He then powered down and we went through. Spike got Faye and started to walk towards the hallway I followed. We saw a light at the end and started to run towards it. We got there and found ourselves in a nice office with lots of windows. We could see the bright sun entering in. We saw a chair faced north moving from side to side. Spike turned it around and to his surprise found a thirteen year old girl sitting and controlling a computer. "Hi, I'm Ed" she said. "Your Ed, you're the famous hacker of all time, the one who crashed Microsoft, the one who almost caused us our lives" screamed Spike. "Yep, you prove to be worthy of my service, I will like to join you" she said in a jolly voice. "It isn't funny little girl you almost killed Faye, and us" I exclaimed. "My God, this is what we came for, a thirteen year old girl, Arrgghhh!" Spike screamed. Ed just smiled and giggles. "Alright we will take you, but you must help us out. See we are bounty hunters we must find criminals and get their bounty. That's how we make a living." I said. "What, your not serious Jet" Spike exclaimed. "I'm serious all right, we have to take her she the best hacker ever" I said. She started to jump up and down screaming that she was going to join the Bebop Team. We then headed back for the ship, Spike carrying Faye, Ed jumping up and down doing cartwheels, and me. We plotted a course for Callisto (Jupiter's eighth moon). Spike set Faye in the couch and Ed started to wander around the ship with Ein. I went to the piloting room and stated to drive. Spike came up to me; he looked at the controls than at me. "You know what I hate the most Jet" he said. "What" I said. "Women with attitudes, children who know too much about computers and animals" he said. "Tell me. Why do we have all of them neatly packed in our ship" he screamed.
"What's with the dog?" asked Spike. "He saved my life and for that I'm eternally in his debt," I said. "His name is Ein," I continued. "So if I save your life will you be my slave?" he said sarcastically. "No" I responded. "Damn" he whispered. Ein was enjoying his new home. I fed him and cleaned him up. "What's our next bounty?" Spike said. "None for now, we are going after a famous hacker called Ed," I said. "And who is this Ed" Spike said. "He is a hacker who crashed the famous company called Microsoft, the old hag Bill Gates went into a nervous breakdown after the crash" I responded. "He also crashed Linux, IBM, and can control any satellite," I continued. "Do you were to find him" Spike said. "Yeah, Earth, He or She lives there in a place use to be called Africa. Now their just a bunch of electronic colonies" I said. "But you don't know how he looks like, right" Spike said. "Yeah" I answered. Just then Faye came out of the shower. "You guys are looking for a nerd?" She said. "Not just a nerd, the nerd of all nerds, were going to hire him," I said. "Oh great that last thing we need is a nerd," Spike said. "He might be useful to find information on bounties," I said. We started to arrive in earth; the custom officer checked for our passport and let us through. We go there and got off. "Okay, lets split up, Spike go to Colony768, Faye you head to Neo Albia, I will head to Colony900" I said. They all agreed and we went our different directions. I met with this old man and asked him if he knew Ed. The only response he gave me is that Edward was a giant basketball player. I asked a kid and he said that Edward was an alien from Pluto. I asked a chick and the only thing she said is that Edward was a heavy metal drag queen. I asked a guy and he told me he was an agent from Neo United States. I asked an old women and she said that he was a porn star. I went back to the ship and met with the others. "Well, the only thing I found is that Ed is a basketball alien from Pluto that pretends to be a heavy metal drag queen who also works for the Neo United States government and has made a couple of porn videos" I said sarcastically. "All I got is that his name is Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the Fourth" Spike said. "I found his address" Faye said in a low voice. "What is it?" I said. She told us and we went. We got to some abandoned buildings were a major computer corporation was. The foundation seemed unstable and about to collapse. We went inside and found our self in a maze. The door behind us shut locked. We were in a small room made out of stone. Suddenly the walls started to close in on us. "Spike gets a hold of the wall," I screamed. Spike ran to the east wall and started to push; I ran to the west wall and pushed also. The wall was closing on us. Faye suddenly ran to a block and pushed it. The walls stopped moving and a secret door opened. "How did you know that the secret button was there?" I asked. "I don't know lucky guess," Faye said. "Alright let's keep going," I said. We kept going through the dark hallway. It was damp and gloomy, smell like rat shit too. We suddenly fell into this pit, which took us to this room. A computer was in the center of the room in a glass container. The computer went on and asked us a question. "What is 4+4?" asked the computer. "Uh. 8" Faye responded. "What is the third planet from the sun?" asked the computer. "Earth" answered Spike. "Last question, what your ship's name is" the computer asked. "Bebop" I responded. "All is correct but one question. The first answer was uh. 8 is incorrect, uh is not a recognized component, you will now be terminated" the computer exclaimed. "Nice going Faye" Spike screamed. Faye just chuckled nervously. Suddenly the room started to fill with water and fast. We started to panic and looked for a button to stop the water. Suddenly the water was high enough to swim in it. It was getting higher and higher. "Damn!" Spike screamed. Soon there was only a gap between the roof and our heads. Then it was full, the room was completely full. Spike got the idea to kick the computer and tried to break the glass. We were under water for at least 40 seconds before the glass started to crack. Faye started to faint underwater, she was starting to close her eyes and she was slowing down. Finally Spike broke the computers shield and the water cause the computer to short circuit which shocked us for ten seconds. The water started to drain and we were lying on the floor. We were looking at each other and Spike notice Faye had stopped breathing. "Shit, Faye. Faye. Wake up" Spike screamed at her. "Wake up Faye. C'mon" Spike continued. Spike placed his head on her chest and started to search for a heartbeat. "Damn. C'mon Faye don't go" Spike screamed. Spike started to do CPR and mouth to mouth. To everyone's surprise Faye started to cough and spit out water. "Wha. Wha. What happen" She asked. "You were dying Faye" Spike said. "Spike here saved you" I said. Faye skin color was pale and her lips started to turn blue. She was very cold and was trembling. Spike got his coat, drained all the water out of it and covered Faye. Faye started to walk but kept stumbling, so Spike picked her up and carried her. The door in front of us opened and we went through. We kept walking for a couple of minutes and found ourselves in a room with nice tiling and a close door in front of us. Suddenly a giant robot fell through the roof. "Does not compute, kill Bebop Team" the robot said. "Shit, another task" I said. "Let me handle this" Spike said. "Here carry Faye for a while" he continued. He handed me Faye and went to the robot. The robot pointed an Uzi at Spike, but before the robot can shoot Spike already knocked the gun out of his hands. He then pulled out his gun and shot the robot in the head. "System malfunction" the robot said. He then powered down and we went through. Spike got Faye and started to walk towards the hallway I followed. We saw a light at the end and started to run towards it. We got there and found ourselves in a nice office with lots of windows. We could see the bright sun entering in. We saw a chair faced north moving from side to side. Spike turned it around and to his surprise found a thirteen year old girl sitting and controlling a computer. "Hi, I'm Ed" she said. "Your Ed, you're the famous hacker of all time, the one who crashed Microsoft, the one who almost caused us our lives" screamed Spike. "Yep, you prove to be worthy of my service, I will like to join you" she said in a jolly voice. "It isn't funny little girl you almost killed Faye, and us" I exclaimed. "My God, this is what we came for, a thirteen year old girl, Arrgghhh!" Spike screamed. Ed just smiled and giggles. "Alright we will take you, but you must help us out. See we are bounty hunters we must find criminals and get their bounty. That's how we make a living." I said. "What, your not serious Jet" Spike exclaimed. "I'm serious all right, we have to take her she the best hacker ever" I said. She started to jump up and down screaming that she was going to join the Bebop Team. We then headed back for the ship, Spike carrying Faye, Ed jumping up and down doing cartwheels, and me. We plotted a course for Callisto (Jupiter's eighth moon). Spike set Faye in the couch and Ed started to wander around the ship with Ein. I went to the piloting room and stated to drive. Spike came up to me; he looked at the controls than at me. "You know what I hate the most Jet" he said. "What" I said. "Women with attitudes, children who know too much about computers and animals" he said. "Tell me. Why do we have all of them neatly packed in our ship" he screamed.
