Chapter 12:
"Is that all?" I asked. Standing up to Ace, isn't a big deal. Right?
"Well, I guess. But, like Gordie said, he's an asshole. They all are."
"Well I have yet to see anything too bad."
"Oh yeah? Why don't you go take a look at Teddy." Oh that's right! Eyeball completely maimed Teddy. I swallowed hard. I think deep down, I knew that Chris was right. I got up.
"I'll be right back." I said, and walked out of my room. I knock lightly on Gordon's door, and then went in.
"Hey, guys. Can I talk to Teddy for a second?" I asked. Ali nodded, and with looks she convinced Elisa to let me. The left the room. I observed Teddy. His arms were all bruised and cut up. He had a really big black eye, too. It was awful.
"Teddy. I am so sorry."
"Don't be."
"Aren't you mad at me?"
"Hey, I couldn't be mad at anyone who was stupid enough to shoot a Cobra." He smiled, and I managed to laugh a little. I felt terrible.
"This is my fault." I said sitting next to him on Gordon's bed.
"No it's not. It's Eyeball's fault. So don't worry about it."
"Why are you being so nice?"
"Because everyone else isn't."
"With the exception of Chris."
"Yeah, well, he's always nice. It's like a disease." We laughed.
"I guess so. Hey do you think Gordon will ever stop hating me?"
"You mean, do I think he'll stop being mad at you and you get to stay in the Cobras? Nope. Probably not."
"That's what I thought."
Gordon and Vern came in with a bag from Teddy's house.
"Get out of my room, you bitch." Gordon said, being a dick.
"Calm down Gordo. You two need to talk."
"Stay out of this Teddy. Jessika, I want you to leave."
"No. Listen to me. I'm sorry for whatever you think I did."
"Think you did?"
"Yeah. Lets face it, I didn't do anything."
"Yes you did. You turned on me and became a member of the gang that are dicks to my friends and I. You've also been real bitchy to us." Gordon paused as Chris, Ali, and Elisa came in. "And, on top of that, you're with my best friend's brother!" I sighed.
"Can we get off the subject of Eyeball and I? Yeah, we're together, get over it. Listen Chris, I'm sorry okay? Does it really bother you all that much?"
"No, not anymore." Chris said.
"See Gordon? Chris has excepted it, why can't you?"
"That's not the point."
"I can't help who I like or what I like. You can't control those kind of things numbnuts. But as for being bitchy, yeah okay. I guess I was. But how would you act if you had a slut for a mom, a boyfriend in a gang, and a cousin who hates you? Everyone has their friends formed in groups already. And it seems like there is no room for me. So when the Cobras came knocking, I answered. You and your friends hate me, being in a gang isn't easy, and according to you, I'm getting a reputation as the town's bike."
Everyone stood in silence. A tear streamed down my face. I couldn't help it. It's not easy being me you know. Gordon gave a look as if to say he felt bad now. He should feel bad!
"Jess." He whispered.
"I have nothing more to say to you." I said, as another tear trickled down my cheek. I left the room, and slammed the door behind me. More tears poured from my eyes now. I went into my room, and lay in my bed, with my face in my pillow.
*********** MEANWHILE IN GORDON'S ROOM. (Third person point of view)**********
"The town bike?" Teddy asked.
"Everyone gets a ride." Elisa said, knowing what it meant. Gordie closed his eyes.
"I said that to her." He said softly.
"What did you say?" Ali said.
"I told her, that she was the town bike, and that everyone got a ride."
"That's about as low as it gets." Teddy said.
"I know."
"How could you tell her that?" Elisa said.
"I-I was mad. I didn't think it sounded that bad. But it sounds horrible."
"Yeah, that's really fucked up to say Gordie. Even if it is Jess." Elisa said.
"The last time I saw her cry. We were five. It was the only time I saw her cry, well. Up until today."
"Gordie." Chris said.
"I should've never said that. I should've thought about her, instead of myself."
"Can't go back now." Vern said.
"I'm going to go talk to her."
"Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea." Chris said. The others agreed.
"So then what should I do?"
"Stay here. I'll talk to her."
********************************BACK TO JESSIE******************************
I wept into my pillow until what seemed as hours, before I heard my door open, then shut. Footsteps came toward me and stopped at my bed. Then someone sat down, next to me, on my bed. I looked up to see Chris, then shoved my head back onto my pillow. I probably looked awful. "Are you okay?" He said.
"No."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Oh. Okay."
"He didn't even consider what I was feeling did he?"
"I thought you didn't want to talk about it."
"I lied." I got up and sat on the floor, my back leaning against my bed. Chris slid next to me.
"It seems like I don't care what you guys think of me. But I do. I listen to everything everyone says."
"Like what?"
"I know how everyone sees me."
"How do we see you?"
"Gordon sees me as a bitchy, slut, that he hopes will die soon. Elisa and Vern see me as just another Cobra. Ali thinks of me as one of those girls who fall into the 'wrong crowd'. Teddy sees me as a bitch, but he has to feel sorry for me because no one else will. The Cobras see me as just one of them, except with tits."
"And how do I see you?"
"Like Ali. I've fallen into a bad crowd. And like Teddy, you have to feel bad because no one else will." I said, looking at him, my eyes tear-filled.
"Not at all."
"Yeah sure."
"I'll tell you how I see you. I see you as my best friend's cousin, who's real smart, and can take care of herself. I think of you as a girl who doesn't take any crap from anyone, and who's not afraid of a few members of Castle Rock's most feared gang."
"Yeah okay, and Vern is great with girls." Chris laughed.
"Well, no. But that's really what I think of you as. And Gordie doesn't hate you. He actually feels like he has been a real dick to you."
"Well he should feel that way because he has."
"Yeah. So tell me about your mom." I sighed.
"I guess 'slut' made her sound bad. She's not really. She just is looking for an old rich guy to marry, so when he dies, she'll get his money. You know, my brother Greg, and my sister Fay and I have different dads. But Jared and I have the same dad."
"Really? I always thought moms were supposed to be real great."
"How so?"
"Well, mine use to be, but she died a long time ago. My dad is a lazy drunk, and Eyeball, as you know, beats the shit out of me too. So I figured since they were better when mom was around, that she had something to do with it."
"Is that all?" I asked. Standing up to Ace, isn't a big deal. Right?
"Well, I guess. But, like Gordie said, he's an asshole. They all are."
"Well I have yet to see anything too bad."
"Oh yeah? Why don't you go take a look at Teddy." Oh that's right! Eyeball completely maimed Teddy. I swallowed hard. I think deep down, I knew that Chris was right. I got up.
"I'll be right back." I said, and walked out of my room. I knock lightly on Gordon's door, and then went in.
"Hey, guys. Can I talk to Teddy for a second?" I asked. Ali nodded, and with looks she convinced Elisa to let me. The left the room. I observed Teddy. His arms were all bruised and cut up. He had a really big black eye, too. It was awful.
"Teddy. I am so sorry."
"Don't be."
"Aren't you mad at me?"
"Hey, I couldn't be mad at anyone who was stupid enough to shoot a Cobra." He smiled, and I managed to laugh a little. I felt terrible.
"This is my fault." I said sitting next to him on Gordon's bed.
"No it's not. It's Eyeball's fault. So don't worry about it."
"Why are you being so nice?"
"Because everyone else isn't."
"With the exception of Chris."
"Yeah, well, he's always nice. It's like a disease." We laughed.
"I guess so. Hey do you think Gordon will ever stop hating me?"
"You mean, do I think he'll stop being mad at you and you get to stay in the Cobras? Nope. Probably not."
"That's what I thought."
Gordon and Vern came in with a bag from Teddy's house.
"Get out of my room, you bitch." Gordon said, being a dick.
"Calm down Gordo. You two need to talk."
"Stay out of this Teddy. Jessika, I want you to leave."
"No. Listen to me. I'm sorry for whatever you think I did."
"Think you did?"
"Yeah. Lets face it, I didn't do anything."
"Yes you did. You turned on me and became a member of the gang that are dicks to my friends and I. You've also been real bitchy to us." Gordon paused as Chris, Ali, and Elisa came in. "And, on top of that, you're with my best friend's brother!" I sighed.
"Can we get off the subject of Eyeball and I? Yeah, we're together, get over it. Listen Chris, I'm sorry okay? Does it really bother you all that much?"
"No, not anymore." Chris said.
"See Gordon? Chris has excepted it, why can't you?"
"That's not the point."
"I can't help who I like or what I like. You can't control those kind of things numbnuts. But as for being bitchy, yeah okay. I guess I was. But how would you act if you had a slut for a mom, a boyfriend in a gang, and a cousin who hates you? Everyone has their friends formed in groups already. And it seems like there is no room for me. So when the Cobras came knocking, I answered. You and your friends hate me, being in a gang isn't easy, and according to you, I'm getting a reputation as the town's bike."
Everyone stood in silence. A tear streamed down my face. I couldn't help it. It's not easy being me you know. Gordon gave a look as if to say he felt bad now. He should feel bad!
"Jess." He whispered.
"I have nothing more to say to you." I said, as another tear trickled down my cheek. I left the room, and slammed the door behind me. More tears poured from my eyes now. I went into my room, and lay in my bed, with my face in my pillow.
*********** MEANWHILE IN GORDON'S ROOM. (Third person point of view)**********
"The town bike?" Teddy asked.
"Everyone gets a ride." Elisa said, knowing what it meant. Gordie closed his eyes.
"I said that to her." He said softly.
"What did you say?" Ali said.
"I told her, that she was the town bike, and that everyone got a ride."
"That's about as low as it gets." Teddy said.
"I know."
"How could you tell her that?" Elisa said.
"I-I was mad. I didn't think it sounded that bad. But it sounds horrible."
"Yeah, that's really fucked up to say Gordie. Even if it is Jess." Elisa said.
"The last time I saw her cry. We were five. It was the only time I saw her cry, well. Up until today."
"Gordie." Chris said.
"I should've never said that. I should've thought about her, instead of myself."
"Can't go back now." Vern said.
"I'm going to go talk to her."
"Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea." Chris said. The others agreed.
"So then what should I do?"
"Stay here. I'll talk to her."
********************************BACK TO JESSIE******************************
I wept into my pillow until what seemed as hours, before I heard my door open, then shut. Footsteps came toward me and stopped at my bed. Then someone sat down, next to me, on my bed. I looked up to see Chris, then shoved my head back onto my pillow. I probably looked awful. "Are you okay?" He said.
"No."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Oh. Okay."
"He didn't even consider what I was feeling did he?"
"I thought you didn't want to talk about it."
"I lied." I got up and sat on the floor, my back leaning against my bed. Chris slid next to me.
"It seems like I don't care what you guys think of me. But I do. I listen to everything everyone says."
"Like what?"
"I know how everyone sees me."
"How do we see you?"
"Gordon sees me as a bitchy, slut, that he hopes will die soon. Elisa and Vern see me as just another Cobra. Ali thinks of me as one of those girls who fall into the 'wrong crowd'. Teddy sees me as a bitch, but he has to feel sorry for me because no one else will. The Cobras see me as just one of them, except with tits."
"And how do I see you?"
"Like Ali. I've fallen into a bad crowd. And like Teddy, you have to feel bad because no one else will." I said, looking at him, my eyes tear-filled.
"Not at all."
"Yeah sure."
"I'll tell you how I see you. I see you as my best friend's cousin, who's real smart, and can take care of herself. I think of you as a girl who doesn't take any crap from anyone, and who's not afraid of a few members of Castle Rock's most feared gang."
"Yeah okay, and Vern is great with girls." Chris laughed.
"Well, no. But that's really what I think of you as. And Gordie doesn't hate you. He actually feels like he has been a real dick to you."
"Well he should feel that way because he has."
"Yeah. So tell me about your mom." I sighed.
"I guess 'slut' made her sound bad. She's not really. She just is looking for an old rich guy to marry, so when he dies, she'll get his money. You know, my brother Greg, and my sister Fay and I have different dads. But Jared and I have the same dad."
"Really? I always thought moms were supposed to be real great."
"How so?"
"Well, mine use to be, but she died a long time ago. My dad is a lazy drunk, and Eyeball, as you know, beats the shit out of me too. So I figured since they were better when mom was around, that she had something to do with it."
