A/N: Thank you very much for the reviews! Well, here is another great Chapter. I am not sure if the next chapter will be the ending since I love writing this thing so much! We'll see how everything goes...
*Meg*
PS~ Hobbits Rule!
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"I don't want to die." Paddamill whispered, feeling the tears fall from her eyes and trail towards her ears. Legolas frowned continuing to rub her right cheek.
"You're not going to die, Paddamill. I won't let you." Paddamill frowned. How he could think such a thing when she was hurting so bad and was beginning to feel more and more distant to reality...
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Paddamill shot up out of bed feeling beads of sweat on her forehead. Paddamill put her right hand over her chest feeling her heart beat quickly against her palm from underneath her nightgown. She let out a sigh feeling as if she had ran for miles. She would've been panting if she didn't wake up when she did. She couldn't sleep after the attack on Helm's Deep. It was the same with a lot of the people. The shock and horror had left everyone feeling unsafe and even a little paranoid. At night people would walk around talking and trying to keep their minds off the grief and terror they had just experienced. Although in Paddamill's case it wasn't due to the horror she had already encountered, but instead it was the horror that she knew awaited her.
Only the worst scenario played in her mind as she waited for them to venture off towards Minas Tirith, another big worry. She was about to embark on an adventure towards the tower of Guard otherwise known as Minas Arnor before Sauron took over it making it a place of great evil. She couldn't believe she was actually going to go on with the fist task she had planned even knowing she was probably going to die. Although that made her uncomfortable it was when King Théoden had asked him to stay and return to Edoras along with Éomer. To their dismay he refused saying he would be leading the rest of the company into the Paths of the Dead and to Minas Tirith as soon as possible. Éowyn had heard the news of their parting and had quickly made an attempt to keep him from marching into the Paths of the Dead telling him that the living never returned, but after several tries she had given up. But not to another task. She had told him that she would go along with them and almost having Aragorn allow such a thing would've made Paddamill spit nails.
With another upset sigh Paddamill rubbed her eyes and opened them up to scan the dark room allowing her eyes to adjust. She saw the light from the hall under the door leak into the room. With no chance of going back to bed for a while, Paddamill tossed off the hot blankets and crawled out of bed. The cold floor sent shivers up her spine as she walked over to a chair by the fireplace that had the white silk robe on the back. A gift from Éowyn as a token of their friendship. Paddamill slipped her right arm through and then the other. Thankfully, Paddamill thought, the fireplace was still giving off a little heat, warming the silk to a preferred temperature. As she tied the robe together, Paddamill slipped her feet into her flats and walked out into the warm hall. Paddamill squinted slightly from the high chandelier's that were glowing from their many lit candles. As she made her way towards the dining area, she wasn't surprised to see a few people talking.
"Couldn't sleep again?" A friendly voice called out to Paddamill. It was a young soldier who was on watch. His light blue eyes glistened at her. With a smile Paddamill sighed.
"I am afraid not. I keep waking up it is no use to try and go back to sleep." The man nodded and allowed Paddamill to continue on her journey towards the warm room where she could see the bright fires going. She walked into the large room seeing rows and rows of empty pine wood tables and benches. She scanned the room in curiosity seeing three people total. A young female and male sitting side by side talking quietly while drinking. Paddamill titled her head seeing the two youngsters. They both looked up at Paddamill and saw the glance she gave telling them to go to bed and to continue their puppy love tomorrow. They both gave her small grins and stood up making their way towards their rooms.
"Good night." The young boy said to Paddamill.
"Night Charles." She replied smiling at the two as they turned opposite corners after giving one another good night and good bye hugs and kisses. Paddamill could only smile at their infatuation. Soon after she watched them go she looked back to a table where a man sat alone, obviously eating a very late supper. His broad shoulders and short brown hair were shining lightly from the large fireplace that was right beside the table a few feet away. Paddamill grinned walking towards him just to entertain herself and hopefully not annoy the man. As she made her way to the table she smiled.
"Do you mind if I sit with you a while?" Paddamill questioned hoping for a nice reply. Paddamill ran her fingers along the corner of the rough pine wood. She smiled when she saw it was Éomer sitting with a small wooden bowl in front of him empty from eating vegetable stew from earlier. "Éomer..." Paddamill said with slight joy. "What are you doing up at this time of the night? You should be asleep." Paddamill sat down on the other bench looking across at Éomer's soft face with the neglected beard. The soft grin he gave before looking up at her made her grown warm.
"Actually it should be the other way around. You should be in bed. We men stay up to watch out for any sneak attacks from the West." Paddamill nodded rubbing the bridge of her nose feeling a bit of tension from the attack they were now trying to recover from. Many of the bodies hadn't been found. And many had been trampled on by horses, pushing them down into the muddy ground. Volunteers of all ages were working nonstop to find them all, while burning the bodies of the enemy. Burials were being held right and left and to be honest it made Paddamill sick to her stomach to think of how many burials were going to held when the war with Sauron was underway. "I am sorry," Paddamill opened her eyes to see Éomer looking at her with his dark intense eyes.
"Sorry? For what?" Paddamill questioned titling her head slightly to the right while slitting her eyes. Éomer looked down at the table's uneven surface and swallowed. His facial expression showed a sign of sympathy and of sadness.
"Éowyn told me all of what had happened to you. I am sorry to hear that about your family." Éomer proclaimed as he glanced up at her once. Paddamill let out a sigh as if she had been holding it in. She rubbed her palms on the table and shrugged.
"It's all right. I cannot dwell on the past." Paddamill sighed out once more and leaned forward pulling her hands up to her face.
"Who am I kidding?" She mumbled lowly. Éomer looked up from his empty bowl and raised his eyebrow.
"What do you mean by that?" Paddamill would've told him about how she continuously dreamt of what might've happened on the day she found her family murdered and how it would've felt like to enter the gates of heaven with them. She couldn't bring herself to think of the site that was tattooed into her mind forever. Not right then at least. She knew she would've cried and crying in front of an old friend she had loathed when she was younger didn't seem to be a good way to reunite in a friendly conversation. It would be too painful to even think of telling him. It was too hurtful to keep remembering things. It wasn't as easy as Aragorn had made it seem.
Éomer was watching the emotions travel over her face as he waited for her to explain, but she didn't need to. He could tell how she felt and what she was thinking all by her emotion. He cleared his throat and looked away from her to avoid eye contact.
"Maybe that is why you are still hurting..." Paddamill looked up at him. His eyes were on the table once more and almost hopeful he'd glance at her he didn't. He turned his head to the right to glance into the fire that was beginning to warm up her chilled skin.
"Now in turn...I have to ask what you mean by that." Éomer let out a low sigh and shrugged almost as if his thoughts were not important. After all could she blame him? She was the one who beat him up whenever the children came over to the house with Théodwyn and Éomund, Éomer and Éowyn's parents. That was, after all, before they died. Éomund was slain in a battle with Orcs while Théodwyn died of sickness not close to a few weeks after their last visit. The two siblings hadn't even been older than six and could only remember their Uncle as their rightful father.
Éomer rubbed his beard in a pondering manner as if her question were hard to answer. "Maybe you should tell someone what you are thinking and how you are feeling rather than keeping it locked away in your heart and in your mind," He finally looked up at her emotionless face. The fire's hue flickered on the left side of her face allowing the light to cause her eyes to sparkle. He frowned and shook his head as he spoke.
"In truth when other things happen it will continuously build up on top of what you have already experienced making it all the more difficult to talk about. If you get it out there you will be able to breathe and be able to take in more things than you normally would with the heavy load you carry. Allowing other people to know how you are feeling will let them know how to treat you. If they don't know what is bothering you then they might upset you." Paddamill's expression changed after a moment of silence. Her eye fell and her head lowered. He was right.
For months Paddamill had been avoiding the unavoidable and allowed it to stay inside and wind her up. Letting her emotions get in the way was ruining her fighting skills along with her thinking. Everything she had managed to keep inside was bothering her. She had to stop and ask herself if she wanted to feel this way for the rest of her life. She had to think straight...maybe that was why she couldn't fight, think, or even sleep. Maybe fighting creatures of evil and resisting the urge to take the one ring wasn't what she needed to rest her tired body. All of it had once made sense but now it was all a medicine for insomnia. Talking about it only seemed to make it worse when all it was doing was allowing her relief and free will. Éomer was right, adding more nightmares on top of the ones she already had just kept everything going in one big circle.
Paddamill looked up from the table where her eyes had wondered in deep thought. Her eyes met with Éomer's. He was leaning in slightly with a heavier frown on his face than before. He raised his eyebrows slowly after a moment of their powerful staring.
"You can tell me, Paddamill. I have gone through the same thing. Éowyn and I both. Tell me...it will be all right." Éomer promulgated slowly. For a moment she was silent before she sighed and briefly looked down at the table then nodded taking her glance back up to him.
Éomer had been right, Paddamill thought. He had said she would feel better talking about everything and by god if she didn't feel energized and happy. The two had laughed about how better she felt after spilling her innermost thoughts. They had talked for the whole night into the early morning. The sun was rising in the east and a new day was beginning. When the sun's rays took over the dark light from the fire, Paddamill had said her good bye to Éomer and went back up to her room. There she took a bath in her basin and then quickly dried off to put on Éowyn's white cotton dress that had a lace boat neck collar and lace sleeves that were pointed at the ends. Quickly she had slipped the small rings from the pointed tight sleeve around her middle finger and allowed her to be long and free with its natural wave. With determination Paddamill told herself that she would let all of her feelings out. She was going to tell him how she felt, how seeing him made her heart skip beats whenever she saw him or touched him, how she felt safe and comfortable whenever she first met him. It was him whom she loved with all her heart. Telling him everything might not have been a wise choice but in case she were too die in their upcoming adventure she would be happy knowing he knew before she met her family up in heaven.
Paddamill sighed and rubbed her hurting stomach then, with one quick step, she opened her door wide and walked out into the hall where there was masonry walls with torches hanging on them along with red carpet leading the way. As she went up a pair of spiral steps leading her onto the second floor, Paddamill turned her slowly unsure walk into prideful strides. She turned the corner and saw him walking towards her. Before he could look up and see her, Paddamill jumped behind the corner and leaned her back on the wall. She sighed rubbed her eyes trying to gain her courage back.
"This is the right thing to do...just get it off your chest. Come on, Paddamill." She kept mumbling to herself. After a moment she realized he might turn the corner and see her then all of her courage would flee. She sighed once more and then leaned up and bit her lower lip walking around the corner. Nearly halfway down the hall he looked up at her wondering as to why she'd be up this early.
"Paddamill. What are you doing up this early you should be getting rest for it is barely morning!" He asked with slight concern thinking that something was wrong. Paddamill didn't speak or even say anything but she simply put her hands on his cheeks, pushed off the floor with her toes, and pressed her lips against his. For a moment she could swear he was going to push her away and make her feel like a fool, but when he wrapped an arm around her waist then another, pulling her close and kissing her back, she relaxed and allowed her eager love for him to shine through the romantic moment. Paddamill opened her eyes to see his were closed. When she felt that she could tell him, she did. Slowly, she let her feet hit the floor and her hands relax off of his face. She stepped back and felt his hands fall to his own sides. She looked up from the floor and into his eyes.
"Han lìn boe, Legolas." 'I love you, Legolas.'
*Meg*
PS~ Hobbits Rule!
*************************
"I don't want to die." Paddamill whispered, feeling the tears fall from her eyes and trail towards her ears. Legolas frowned continuing to rub her right cheek.
"You're not going to die, Paddamill. I won't let you." Paddamill frowned. How he could think such a thing when she was hurting so bad and was beginning to feel more and more distant to reality...
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Paddamill shot up out of bed feeling beads of sweat on her forehead. Paddamill put her right hand over her chest feeling her heart beat quickly against her palm from underneath her nightgown. She let out a sigh feeling as if she had ran for miles. She would've been panting if she didn't wake up when she did. She couldn't sleep after the attack on Helm's Deep. It was the same with a lot of the people. The shock and horror had left everyone feeling unsafe and even a little paranoid. At night people would walk around talking and trying to keep their minds off the grief and terror they had just experienced. Although in Paddamill's case it wasn't due to the horror she had already encountered, but instead it was the horror that she knew awaited her.
Only the worst scenario played in her mind as she waited for them to venture off towards Minas Tirith, another big worry. She was about to embark on an adventure towards the tower of Guard otherwise known as Minas Arnor before Sauron took over it making it a place of great evil. She couldn't believe she was actually going to go on with the fist task she had planned even knowing she was probably going to die. Although that made her uncomfortable it was when King Théoden had asked him to stay and return to Edoras along with Éomer. To their dismay he refused saying he would be leading the rest of the company into the Paths of the Dead and to Minas Tirith as soon as possible. Éowyn had heard the news of their parting and had quickly made an attempt to keep him from marching into the Paths of the Dead telling him that the living never returned, but after several tries she had given up. But not to another task. She had told him that she would go along with them and almost having Aragorn allow such a thing would've made Paddamill spit nails.
With another upset sigh Paddamill rubbed her eyes and opened them up to scan the dark room allowing her eyes to adjust. She saw the light from the hall under the door leak into the room. With no chance of going back to bed for a while, Paddamill tossed off the hot blankets and crawled out of bed. The cold floor sent shivers up her spine as she walked over to a chair by the fireplace that had the white silk robe on the back. A gift from Éowyn as a token of their friendship. Paddamill slipped her right arm through and then the other. Thankfully, Paddamill thought, the fireplace was still giving off a little heat, warming the silk to a preferred temperature. As she tied the robe together, Paddamill slipped her feet into her flats and walked out into the warm hall. Paddamill squinted slightly from the high chandelier's that were glowing from their many lit candles. As she made her way towards the dining area, she wasn't surprised to see a few people talking.
"Couldn't sleep again?" A friendly voice called out to Paddamill. It was a young soldier who was on watch. His light blue eyes glistened at her. With a smile Paddamill sighed.
"I am afraid not. I keep waking up it is no use to try and go back to sleep." The man nodded and allowed Paddamill to continue on her journey towards the warm room where she could see the bright fires going. She walked into the large room seeing rows and rows of empty pine wood tables and benches. She scanned the room in curiosity seeing three people total. A young female and male sitting side by side talking quietly while drinking. Paddamill titled her head seeing the two youngsters. They both looked up at Paddamill and saw the glance she gave telling them to go to bed and to continue their puppy love tomorrow. They both gave her small grins and stood up making their way towards their rooms.
"Good night." The young boy said to Paddamill.
"Night Charles." She replied smiling at the two as they turned opposite corners after giving one another good night and good bye hugs and kisses. Paddamill could only smile at their infatuation. Soon after she watched them go she looked back to a table where a man sat alone, obviously eating a very late supper. His broad shoulders and short brown hair were shining lightly from the large fireplace that was right beside the table a few feet away. Paddamill grinned walking towards him just to entertain herself and hopefully not annoy the man. As she made her way to the table she smiled.
"Do you mind if I sit with you a while?" Paddamill questioned hoping for a nice reply. Paddamill ran her fingers along the corner of the rough pine wood. She smiled when she saw it was Éomer sitting with a small wooden bowl in front of him empty from eating vegetable stew from earlier. "Éomer..." Paddamill said with slight joy. "What are you doing up at this time of the night? You should be asleep." Paddamill sat down on the other bench looking across at Éomer's soft face with the neglected beard. The soft grin he gave before looking up at her made her grown warm.
"Actually it should be the other way around. You should be in bed. We men stay up to watch out for any sneak attacks from the West." Paddamill nodded rubbing the bridge of her nose feeling a bit of tension from the attack they were now trying to recover from. Many of the bodies hadn't been found. And many had been trampled on by horses, pushing them down into the muddy ground. Volunteers of all ages were working nonstop to find them all, while burning the bodies of the enemy. Burials were being held right and left and to be honest it made Paddamill sick to her stomach to think of how many burials were going to held when the war with Sauron was underway. "I am sorry," Paddamill opened her eyes to see Éomer looking at her with his dark intense eyes.
"Sorry? For what?" Paddamill questioned titling her head slightly to the right while slitting her eyes. Éomer looked down at the table's uneven surface and swallowed. His facial expression showed a sign of sympathy and of sadness.
"Éowyn told me all of what had happened to you. I am sorry to hear that about your family." Éomer proclaimed as he glanced up at her once. Paddamill let out a sigh as if she had been holding it in. She rubbed her palms on the table and shrugged.
"It's all right. I cannot dwell on the past." Paddamill sighed out once more and leaned forward pulling her hands up to her face.
"Who am I kidding?" She mumbled lowly. Éomer looked up from his empty bowl and raised his eyebrow.
"What do you mean by that?" Paddamill would've told him about how she continuously dreamt of what might've happened on the day she found her family murdered and how it would've felt like to enter the gates of heaven with them. She couldn't bring herself to think of the site that was tattooed into her mind forever. Not right then at least. She knew she would've cried and crying in front of an old friend she had loathed when she was younger didn't seem to be a good way to reunite in a friendly conversation. It would be too painful to even think of telling him. It was too hurtful to keep remembering things. It wasn't as easy as Aragorn had made it seem.
Éomer was watching the emotions travel over her face as he waited for her to explain, but she didn't need to. He could tell how she felt and what she was thinking all by her emotion. He cleared his throat and looked away from her to avoid eye contact.
"Maybe that is why you are still hurting..." Paddamill looked up at him. His eyes were on the table once more and almost hopeful he'd glance at her he didn't. He turned his head to the right to glance into the fire that was beginning to warm up her chilled skin.
"Now in turn...I have to ask what you mean by that." Éomer let out a low sigh and shrugged almost as if his thoughts were not important. After all could she blame him? She was the one who beat him up whenever the children came over to the house with Théodwyn and Éomund, Éomer and Éowyn's parents. That was, after all, before they died. Éomund was slain in a battle with Orcs while Théodwyn died of sickness not close to a few weeks after their last visit. The two siblings hadn't even been older than six and could only remember their Uncle as their rightful father.
Éomer rubbed his beard in a pondering manner as if her question were hard to answer. "Maybe you should tell someone what you are thinking and how you are feeling rather than keeping it locked away in your heart and in your mind," He finally looked up at her emotionless face. The fire's hue flickered on the left side of her face allowing the light to cause her eyes to sparkle. He frowned and shook his head as he spoke.
"In truth when other things happen it will continuously build up on top of what you have already experienced making it all the more difficult to talk about. If you get it out there you will be able to breathe and be able to take in more things than you normally would with the heavy load you carry. Allowing other people to know how you are feeling will let them know how to treat you. If they don't know what is bothering you then they might upset you." Paddamill's expression changed after a moment of silence. Her eye fell and her head lowered. He was right.
For months Paddamill had been avoiding the unavoidable and allowed it to stay inside and wind her up. Letting her emotions get in the way was ruining her fighting skills along with her thinking. Everything she had managed to keep inside was bothering her. She had to stop and ask herself if she wanted to feel this way for the rest of her life. She had to think straight...maybe that was why she couldn't fight, think, or even sleep. Maybe fighting creatures of evil and resisting the urge to take the one ring wasn't what she needed to rest her tired body. All of it had once made sense but now it was all a medicine for insomnia. Talking about it only seemed to make it worse when all it was doing was allowing her relief and free will. Éomer was right, adding more nightmares on top of the ones she already had just kept everything going in one big circle.
Paddamill looked up from the table where her eyes had wondered in deep thought. Her eyes met with Éomer's. He was leaning in slightly with a heavier frown on his face than before. He raised his eyebrows slowly after a moment of their powerful staring.
"You can tell me, Paddamill. I have gone through the same thing. Éowyn and I both. Tell me...it will be all right." Éomer promulgated slowly. For a moment she was silent before she sighed and briefly looked down at the table then nodded taking her glance back up to him.
Éomer had been right, Paddamill thought. He had said she would feel better talking about everything and by god if she didn't feel energized and happy. The two had laughed about how better she felt after spilling her innermost thoughts. They had talked for the whole night into the early morning. The sun was rising in the east and a new day was beginning. When the sun's rays took over the dark light from the fire, Paddamill had said her good bye to Éomer and went back up to her room. There she took a bath in her basin and then quickly dried off to put on Éowyn's white cotton dress that had a lace boat neck collar and lace sleeves that were pointed at the ends. Quickly she had slipped the small rings from the pointed tight sleeve around her middle finger and allowed her to be long and free with its natural wave. With determination Paddamill told herself that she would let all of her feelings out. She was going to tell him how she felt, how seeing him made her heart skip beats whenever she saw him or touched him, how she felt safe and comfortable whenever she first met him. It was him whom she loved with all her heart. Telling him everything might not have been a wise choice but in case she were too die in their upcoming adventure she would be happy knowing he knew before she met her family up in heaven.
Paddamill sighed and rubbed her hurting stomach then, with one quick step, she opened her door wide and walked out into the hall where there was masonry walls with torches hanging on them along with red carpet leading the way. As she went up a pair of spiral steps leading her onto the second floor, Paddamill turned her slowly unsure walk into prideful strides. She turned the corner and saw him walking towards her. Before he could look up and see her, Paddamill jumped behind the corner and leaned her back on the wall. She sighed rubbed her eyes trying to gain her courage back.
"This is the right thing to do...just get it off your chest. Come on, Paddamill." She kept mumbling to herself. After a moment she realized he might turn the corner and see her then all of her courage would flee. She sighed once more and then leaned up and bit her lower lip walking around the corner. Nearly halfway down the hall he looked up at her wondering as to why she'd be up this early.
"Paddamill. What are you doing up this early you should be getting rest for it is barely morning!" He asked with slight concern thinking that something was wrong. Paddamill didn't speak or even say anything but she simply put her hands on his cheeks, pushed off the floor with her toes, and pressed her lips against his. For a moment she could swear he was going to push her away and make her feel like a fool, but when he wrapped an arm around her waist then another, pulling her close and kissing her back, she relaxed and allowed her eager love for him to shine through the romantic moment. Paddamill opened her eyes to see his were closed. When she felt that she could tell him, she did. Slowly, she let her feet hit the floor and her hands relax off of his face. She stepped back and felt his hands fall to his own sides. She looked up from the floor and into his eyes.
"Han lìn boe, Legolas." 'I love you, Legolas.'
