Fallen From Grace 'Hope' Skitty

Buffy wasn't sure why she'd expected Anne to survive the massacre, but she had. And she'd gone to her to ask for a place to stay while she was there. She'd found her one time friend's body. Her father was also a corpse, having been in a meeting with a Wolfram and Hart attourney he was up against in court, hoping to convince the deffendant to plead guilty. It hadn't worked, mainly because he'd been savagely murdured by a beast who'd been savagely murdered by Angelus.

She'd learned all this from Faith and Connor, a young man who claimed Angel was his father. Faith had winced when he said this, and shot her a symapthetic look. Buffy hadn't reacted. Even she was surprised by that.

After briefing Faith and Connor on what was happening with Willow, why she was in L.A., Buffy left to find her friend. Faith and Connor, who lived together in a dingy apartment where they'd offered to let Buffy stay (she'd opted to stay in a nearby motel instead) had stayed behind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey B!" Faith called running out of the apartment. Buffy turned slightly, and Faith swore she saw a trace of the girl she'd known hidden in the uber Slayer she'd become. Faith, in her permanent jealous rage, had never seen the way her shoulders sometimes hunced, with the weight of too many losses pushing down her heart. It seemed now that those losses had pushed her heart through the floor, making her unable to feel anything at all. "I, um, sorry about back there. Connor sometimes speaks before I can tell him not too."

"Why should it bother me?" Buffy asked, her eyes literally having changed from the green Faith remembered a little too well for her liking, to a hardened gray.

"Uh, because you love Angel?" Faith suggested. Buffy shook her head.

"Maybe I used to," she said. "But that's over."

"Why?" Faith looked into her old friend's eyes. "Way I remember it, you two made Romeo and Juliet look like.... your parents. Even Kermit and Miss Piggy didn't come close to what you two had."

"Had being the key word. Do we really have to get into this?" Buffy looked away. "I've got a witch to burn at the stake so I can get the Hell outta here."

"That witch you're referring to is your BEST FRIEND," Faith called after Buffy. She paused for a minute, shoulders slightly hunched.

"Was," she called back, and the disappeared down the block

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Willow looked around the plush apartment she'd 'inherited' from the nice young lawyer she'd killed. It was nice, though she was sure the First could have gottten her a nicer place if they really valued her. "Don't complain," Willow turned to see Cordelia behind her. She stepped into the apartment. "I still have to pretend to love Angel and care for the stupid group that just killed my favorite beaux!"

"Yeah, well, who's fault is that? You chose who's body you'd steal," Willow snapped, running a hand through her now-dark hair. "God, I love this color. Stupid Willow was never daring enough to dye it. You, on the other hand, might want to fear dying your hair ever again."

"We have more important things to worry about Willow!" Cordelia shouted. "The First relies on us now. Angelus and Spike were supposed to have been enough. Yet you could not even kill the Slayer's latest boy toy! She will never break at this rate!"

"She already has," Willow looked condescendingly at Cordelia. "She trusts no one. She will become the darkest force out there. Kennedy, fool that she was, thought I had more power than the Slayer. Faith believed she could take Buffy out. They are all stupid, mindless drones. Buffy is not Slayer alone. She does not know where her true power lies, where the magics could take her. She will learn. And she will make us look like the puppets we are."

"God! Even evil you worship her," Cordelia spat. "WE are the last hope for evil. SHE is the first to be destroyed when we defeat the remaining Slayers."

"You are stuck in Cordelia's mentality, idiot," a figure came into the room, which Willow and Cordelia immediately recognized as the First, though shaped as Buffy. "She IS my last hope. Petty jealousy can not sway that. If you mess this up for me, I'll mess your new face up for you. Got it?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Angel sighed, coming down the stairs. "Angel!" Cordelia called, running over and hugging him. "Thank God you're okay!" Angel just looked at her for a minute. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing," he smiled at her. He still couldn't get Buffy out of his head. He hadn't thought she could still sway him so much, but she had. She was in trouble and it bugged him. "But she's always in trouble," he mumbled.

"What?" Cordy looked at him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just... nothing. Where've you been?"

"Out," she answered cryptically. "I had to check up on something."

"So, that was an apocalypse," Faith said, coming into the room. "For all the talk of them in Sunnydale, I was never actually awake for a big one."

"Please, that was nothing," Cordelia said. "There was hardly any fire involved."

"They get bigger?" Faith stared at the former actress, as if there was something she was looking for, some sign of something.

"Way. At least in Sunnydale," she said, leaving Angel's side. "I'm gonna go check on Fred and Gunn and Wesley, okay?"

Angel just watched her go. "Angel, can we talk?" Faith asked him. Angel turned to the Slayer. "It's kind of important."

"Sure, what's up?" he asked.

"Connor and I kinda ran into Buffy last night... and she told us some stuff... about the whole apocalypse thing. Aparently it was more like Armageddon in Sunnydale," Faith paused. "And it's still coming."

"I'm sure she can handle it," Angel said, moving to his desk to tidy some paperwork.

"Buffy could handle it, yeah, except their latest recruit is Willow. Xander's insane somewhere, Willow killed her girlfriend, Anya's dead, and Spike's dust, and all I could get out of her was that Willow is here, and Buffy has to kill her, or the world'll end. Her and... and Cordelia."

"What?" Angel dropped the book he'd been about to move. "Why does she have to kill Cordelia? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Angel, the Cordy you know is still a Higher Being, off floating somewhere enjoying the high life. This Cordelia, she's not her. She's killed Angel. You said yourself you didn't know how Lilah died. And the more you let her in, the more she'll know. The First got sick of just going after Buffy and potential Slayers," Faith explained, as gently as she could without screaming. Angel and Buffy had always annoyed her. If he realized she was his soulmate, she was off making ga ga eyes at a fish. If she realized it, he was jonsing for a demon posed as his best friend. Maybe Buffy didn't even see it anymore.

But they were meant to be together. They'd been through so much, come through everything they had, and they'd done it for a reason. They were the very meaning of love, they were the core of every other love out there. Maybe Faith hadn't found hers yet, but they proved love was out there to people who'd stopped believing. No soldier or fake cheerleader could take that away from them. Eventually one of them would lose everything and they'd be together again. Or Buffy would die. Given the circumstances, Faith was guessing it was the second.

"That's rediculous. Buffy's never liked Cordelia and neither have you," Angel denied, but inside, it seemed to hit an alarm. After all, it made sense, on some level. When he'd gone to meet with Cordelia, he'd intended to say that while he felt something, they could never be more than friends. He couldn't make that mistake again. And then all the sudden she was back, and he was obsessed with her. It scared him. He'd never wanted so badly to be with someone, not even Buffy.

He didn't think it was possible to want someone more than he wanted Buffy. Had. Had wanted was what he meant. He didn't still want Buffy. At all. Did he?

"If it's so rediculous, why do you look like it might be true?" Faith shot back. "Angel, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think Buffy has a reason to lie about this. She's beyond doing everything because of some petty emotion, and even when she was more... self centered, she would never stoop that low. I'm the one who kills out of jealousy. And why now? She doesn't know about you two, there isn't even a you two, exactly. Plus, she had a look in her eye that said she left something pretty serious behind. Doesn't lead up to petty killing spree, does it?"

Faith walked closer to her saviour, mentor and boss, and sighed. "Angel, Buffy's in a lot of trouble, emotionally. She's pushed every one and everything that mattered away. God, she didn't have to push most of them! Even... even if you really are over her, you have to help her, she's a warrior. She belongs to the cause. And suddenly she thinks that means booting everyone from her life."

Angel just stared at the younger Slayer, thinking. If Faith was worried about Buffy, it had to be bad.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy dropped her bags onto the motel bed, and opened Willow's old laptop, looking for murdurs in L.A. over the past weeks. Or possibly disappearances. She found an e-mail.

"Buffy -

We know you took this. Or um, we hope you did and that this isn't Willow reading this cause then we're screwed. Anyway we kind of understand why you had to go. Well, Robin does. I'm just kinda used to you needing your space. And I get it, really. I still think you need help wherever you are but... that's not the point.

Xander's out of the institution. He's... better. Distant, but better. He did remember something about what Willow said, before... just before. Something about a way to stop her when she gets evil, without killing her or anyone else. It's a spell. I could probably do it, but I'd need the ingredients, and I'll need to be near her, but not so near that we're in the same room.

Robin says that if you get demon Cordelia and real Cordelia in the same place, demon Cordelia will have to show herself as a demon and then you can kill her easier. And if we get Will back, she could find a way to get Cordy back... Hold on Robbin wants to type.

Hey Buffy. Dawn is simplifying things, and we're all still really hurting, but... we're okay. The spells are dangerous, but we'll back you up no matter what, you know that. You can make the decisions on this, even Xander agrees on that one. We just wanted to let you know there were options. Just remember that we love you, and we're hurting too. We want to help you through this. We miss you.

Love, kisses, and scooby snacks,

Dawn, and Robin.

P.S., Andrew says hi, and to make sure you eat right since he won't be there to cook for you.

P.P.S. E-mail us back."

There were tears in her eyes, as Buffy read the letter. There were options. Options that sounded like they could get the last of those she cared about killed. A knock sounded and the door turned. She'd have to think about it later.

"I thought you had to be invited," she glanced at the visitor, then turned back to the computer.

"Motel, public property," Angel reminded her, coming fully into the room.

"Of course," Buffy just nodded a little, closing the lap top. She'd e-mail them later.

"You've been crying," he observed.

"I'm fine," she replied, a little shortly. "Faith send you?"

"Yes," at least he knew enough to be honest about it. "Not that I don't care too. I do."

"Gee, that's sweet," Buffy looked at him with hollow eyes. "But I told you, and Faith, and your son, that I am fine. You can stop checking up on me. Not like I've never killed a friend before."

"What can be this bad?" Angel came furthur into the room, standing before her a bit awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, is something bad?" she glared at him. "Forgive me for not noticing. I'm too busy deciding whether I should let my baby sister come and possibly die to save my best friend, or whether I should kill said best friend, and send my other best friend back to the mental hospital he was in after the love of his life, my close friend, was killed."

"So... pretty much everything," he answered his own question. "But Buffy still... it isn't like you to close up like this."

"How the fuck would you know?" she spat at him. "It's insulting that you're even pretending to care. I have a new life now. I'm not the pathetic little girl who let you come and make everything all better. I've realized something. No matter what you say, you can't bring them back. At least Robin doesn't pretend he can make everything better like some... knight or something. This isn't the sixteen hundreds Angel. We don't have a king, and I am not some poor little maiden who's just desperately waiting for you to save her. I can't be saved. It's too late."

"It's never too late," Angel said quietly.

She snorted. "I used to say that to Spike. When he had his soul. When he lost it, he had a lot of fun throwing it in my face. That and Giles's body parts. Can you save him. Angel? Can you pick his dust up, put it back together and tell him there's something in him worth protecting? Can you go find Willow and tell her it doesn't matter that she killed her girlfriend, or that she hospitalized Dawn? Tell her it's okay that she was the final straw, that she put Xander in an institution because you can heal her? Make her soul good again?"

"I get it, okay?' Angel shouted back. "Your life sucks right now. But there are still people who care about you, people who rely on you. I care about you."

"And I'm protecting them. I've figured it out, okay? It's not the Hellmouth that's killing my friends. It's me. So now I don't have friends. I can't kill them if I don't have them," Buffy shot back. "Please, Angel, just... just go."

"There! There is proof that you can be saved," he pointed at her.

"Where?" she looked up at him. "Did something in my eyes remind you of the good old days when I'd let you completely control me? Did my tone sound like the time I said 'oh, of course Angel, here have my heart and make all my decisions and ooh, yes, by all means, break it?'"

"Where there's guilt, there's hope that you can be better. I won't give up on you," he answered, before disappearing into the night.