I have not mentioned much about your brothers, well, this is a journal for you...but your brothers have been so much a part of your life...
They really love you Arwen, no matter what they have said when they have been angry or you annoyed them with too many questions...
I remember an afternoon when you came to me crying while I was in the linen room going through the formal tables cloths for an upcoming feast.
I and Alathieriel were counting out the cloths and making neat piles, when, with true childish abandon, you threw yourself on my pile of linen sobbing that Elladan and Elrohir had been evil to you...
And when I asked how...you told me with big sniffles that they had told you in no uncertain terms that you were..."a pest and an unwanted shadow and would you please stop follow us.... everywhere?"
Arwen! Your little face was such a study in despair! I remember it clearly.
Alathieriel and I chivvied you out of your mood by letting you help us by counting the napkins.
When we were finished, you and I went out to the family garden and you and I sat amongst the daffodils and I just held you. You were so soft and warm, my Arwen.
Quiet, you slowly drifted off to sleep in my arms, the expression on your face softened and I kissed you, held to that timeless place by your innocent expression.
You are young for just such a short, short time as an immortal my dear Arwen! Remember that when you have children.
And remember how sweet young elflings are! And delightful...
Ahh, yes, this still brings me back to your brothers, dear elf lords that they are.
And so very brave. But you know that.....
A little about your brothers then.
I know you must sometimes think that they get all the attention because they are the first born and they are the young men of the family and Elladan will someday be Lord of Rivendell.
Actually I think they shall BOTH be Lords of Rivendell because they so complement each other in thinking and deed.
When I found I was pregnant with the twins, it was such an event as you can imagine!
My, my the Lady of Imladris was going to produce heirs!!
Your father was so proud!
He found out in a similar way that I was carrying your brothers, as he did with you, though on this occasion he was there, and it was rather more embarrassing!
We were entertaining that evening, actually an embassy from Thranduil, and your father and I stood to leave the table to go to the Hall of Fire, and I simply collapsed...thump! in a heap at your father's feet.
What a mess!
And it was so amusing Arwen...once he got me to our rooms, it took him sometime to determine what was happening right away...since I had no idea!
He asked me questions about eating and drinking and what I had been doing, like he had when I fainted with you...but since neither of us had been "pregnant" as it were, we were both at a loss.
Your father got more and more worried and I got more and more confused, until it just suddenly dawned on me....and I took one of your father's hands and put it to my abdomen. He looked at me worried...and his hand sank deeper into me and his healing warmth filled me....THEN we both realized what was happening!
I remember just laying there staring at your father, and I know his expression mirrored mine: both our mouths hung open in shock. Not only was I pregnant, but it was with twins!!
Well, that put the House in an uproar.
And your father in a dither because he was so afraid I was going to be delicate through out my pregnancy, that the next few days he insisted I stay in bed!!
And I was so heartily bored! Even with the visits from Thranduil and his wife.
But there was no convincing your father otherwise, until he had a rather no nonsense communication with Mother, which straightened his thinking out some, and he reluctantly let me out of our rooms.
Poor dear!! He was so worried that first month, but he finally settled down and relaxed into happiness.
Your father had the names picked out from the very start and since they were boys, I let him do this.
I liked the names actually and I knew it was very important to your father to not only name the twins, but because his life had been so unsettled as a child and youth, that having his line continue on was especially important to him. Made him feel more grounded I believe.
And as I said, when the twins arrived, it was a bit of a crush in our bedroom.
I used the birthing couch your father had made, and Alathiriel and Malla were with me to keep me comfortable and give me sips of water or fruit juice.
And your dear father, as nervous as any first time father, was actually pacing a great deal between contractions and let the healer Isingal monitor me early on.
But of course, once I began delivering, your father took over and eased my pains and brought forth his sons, though little Elrohir was very shy and waited almost eleven minutes before he decided to join his brother!
(Those eleven minutes gave your father time to clean up Elladan and settle him before dealing with Elrohir)
Once the twins were delivered my dear, well, there was singing again of course, and your grandparents were already here, and as I said, it was a bit crowded and noisy in our rooms for awhile.
I was SO tired from delivering those rascals, I do not remember as much about their first days as I do about yours...all I see is an endless parade of smiling faces.
But I do remember private moments with your father, late at night, when it was just the four of us and the twins were nursing and all was quiet except for their hungry little mouths....
I will admit to be relieved when everything settled down and I could focus on being a mother.
Having two at once kept me quite busy, I assure you!
Twice as many nappies and twice as many feedings and twice as many worries!
And once THEY began to walk...oh my, your father and I were certainly kept on our toes! Because of course, they usually picked opposite directions in which to run!
But as I said, they were thankfully no more prone to accidents than any other little elfling boys and so did not give us TOO much grief as they grew!
Just the few accidents here and there.
And like you, the first time one of the twins was hurt bad enough to be bed bound, your father and I were quite undone!
It was Elrohir's broken arm from his fall off his pony that put him in bed the first time, as it was a compound fracture. He had been racing his brother of course and tried a fence that was too high for poor Porridge (so named because that is what his coat looked like) who balked and threw Elrohir into the stone wall he wanted him to leap.
Both of us sat up all night with him. And Elladan, unhappy with all the attention Elrohir was receiving, alternately slept in your father's and my lap that night, his thumb stuck in his mouth.
Of course, Elladan more than made up with it the time he was experimenting in your father's still room and broke a vial of acid while trying to concoct, I don't remember what it was. A firework like Mithrandir's? And he burned himself all down his leg and cut himself in the palm of his hand trying to grab the vial as it broke against the edge of the table.
Trust me Arwen, twin boys are endlessly diverting, in one form or another.
Looking at what I have written, I see I have gone on quite enough about your brothers here....
Perhaps this information will be helpful if you have boys of your own someday.
But my love, they do love you and you know it. I have stuck here in the pages of this journal, two notes from your brothers, begetting day wishes that are indeed heartfelt, that I found when cleaning out the wardrobe in your room, before we removed it for the bigger one you needed. And still have now actually.
And remember that time you got lost? On a picnic we took up around the high falls that summer day when you must have been just six I think.
Your brothers were frantic with worry looking for you (as was your father and I)...and how very happy Elladan was when he found you tucked in the fork of a large oak, fast asleep, holding your favorite doll Cimbelin.
You should have seen the look of relief on his face when Elrohir saw you in your brother's arms. Both of them had tears in their eyes (as did your father and I!)...
And from there on out Arwen, they became YOUR shadows whenever they were home and you were out and about in the gardens or on one of your wanderings!
And you even complained to me when you were trying to have a tea party with Cimbelin and Rohr the Bear and they kept lurking nearby because you kept climbing on the garden wall...
I think I will rest now my love. I am quite tired. Your father has left me a tonic which I drank, but I suspect there was a little something more in it than that.....
He worries so....and I...I can not ..I wish so that I could help relieve his heart by recovering...but...
I shall try to write more later.......
