Chapter 5

I wonder if he can see my thoughts, if he can tell that all I want right now is to be Laura again, only this time without the lies and the deception which plague and haunt my memories of her life. Even then, even when I was Laura, I could not truly allow myself to fully become her because doing so would have endangered the lives of everyone she ever cared about. Of course I knew this at the time I accepted the mission, but I was too young and naive to have foreseen the truth. I never expected that I would actually fall in love with the man whose secrets I was sent to steal. However, slowly I had gone from simply wearing the mask of Laura to actually becoming her, and in the struggle between the two personalities Laura Bristow had managed to almost entirely kill off Irina Derevko. The KGB obviously saw this as a problem and they worked out a way to test my loyalties.

Jack was away on a mission, I had left Sydney with a sitter while I went out to run some errands. She was only one year old, she would not remember that day, but I have never forgotten it. When I returned home I knew instantly that something was wrong. I ran back to SydneyÕs room and there I saw Curvee, he was standing in the middle of her room, holding her in his arms, an evil smile on his face. She was crying. I felt sick, I wanted to kill him right then and there. ÒItÕs so nice to see you again, IrinaÓ he said as though we were friends ÒI always knew you would produce beautiful offspring.Ó I gritted my teeth, and tried not to look too upset. ÒWhat are you doing here?Ó I asked trying not to let all my hatred come out. He set Sydney down, then spoke ÒIrina, IÕll give you the curtsey of being blunt, some questions have arisen regarding your loyaltyÓ My blood was boiling. ÒCurveeÓ I said looking him straight in the eye, trying to look as though his presence did not anger me the way it did ÒIÕm loyal you know that, in the years I have been here I have provided the KGB with a wealth of information, information I might add that you would not have if it wasnÕt for my loyaltyÓ
ÒI know this Irina, they know this, but there is fear that you may have fallen in love with Agent BristowÓ Ò What! you honestly believe that I have fallen for that.....that fool.Ó I said trying to sound as though those words did not pain me so much to say. Curvee smiled, he obviously believed me. ÒGoodÓ he said ÒI knew you werenÕt that stupid. None the less, we need more solid proof of your loyalty.Ó ÒWhat do you want?Ó I asked dryly. ÒWe will be sending you a list of names used by CIA officers, we would like you to assassinate these officers.Ó Now I really felt sick, stealing information was one thing, assassination was another. Sure I had killed before, but it had always been in self defense, never premeditated. I knew though that I had to put on a show for Curvee , I nodded ÒVery wellÓ Curvee smiled again ÒI knew you wouldnÕt disappoint us. Oh, and one more thing, I have injected your daughter with a small device, if you do chose to betray us all I have to do is push this little button here on this remote transmitter, and she dies. If you try to remove it or tamper with it in any way, it will be activated immediately. Of course, this is just a precautionary measure, as I donÕt foresee there being any problems.Ó With that he left me. I held Sydney close to me refusing to let go of her and cried for the remainder of the day.