Wilfred

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: Yeah, I know it's been a while since I last posted there, but I still do not own the characters.

Yes, it HAS been a while… I tried to post something some time ago, but during the saving process, I lost it. I will rewrite it sooner or later. This story is one of my many not-planned ones.

A lot of people here at ff.net have muses who they interact with before their stories. Well, I tend to get inspiration from everywhere (especially for Ed quotes!), I have too many muses. So, instead, allow me to introduce my pal… Cactus Buddy! *a cactus with sunglasses comes in*

Cactus Buddy: It's about time, you were originally going to introduce me weeks ago…

Jaha: Yeah yeah… I am a busy person. Let's just hope my schedule will be nice to me like it has been for the past few days. Anyways… here's my new story…

Both: Wilfred.

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Hello, my name is Wilfred.

What do you mean "who?" I show up in a fair amount of episodes thank-you-very-much!

Yeah… I am also known as Rolf's pig. Yeah… oink…

I'll have you know RIGHT now that I am an American pig. I didn't even know my master's country existed until he came walking in with his father, to the barn where I was born.

Yeah yeah… I knew the drill, some random farm worker would take one of us, fatten us up and serve us as bacon, ham or something. Those humans have been pretty clever in coming up with several ways to eat us, you gotta give them credit for that… but I try not to think of those things. Too sickening, really.

I was pretty safe though, I was sort of small for my age, so when my current master came in and chose me… well, I was surprised.

After a week at Rolf's house, I realized something… he wasn't going to eat me.

I began to wonder exactly WHAT was expected of me…

One Night:

"Wilfred…"

Master's calling me. What could he want? I go over to him. He is sitting on a oversized beat he carved into the shape of a chair. He sat there looking at a picture in a locket. I have never seen him look more sentimental. He tilted the locket so I could see the picture, this was obviously his reason for calling me.

'What could it be' I wondered, 'a previous crush? An dear old friend?'

I glanced at the picture.

There, in the locket, was a picture of my master skipping through some mountains… wait… are those the Alps? Nevermind that… I tried to figure out the country of my master and his family's origin, but I came out with nothing. Wait… there's a pig in that picture. Errr… is it kissing Rolf?

Now I really wonder what is expected of me here…

At least I am not bacon.

Shiver.

I met some of the others here, like Victor the goat for instance. I don't like him as much. He kind of likes to keep to himself. Sure, we have eaten together in master's garden every so once in a while, but we really don't care much of each other. Now, Gertrude, the chicken, she's been really cool since I showed up. I visit her once in a while, but Rolf doesn't really like that.

Another odd thing about life on this farm…

"Why must you spoil Wilfred with this lavish monkey suit as it will only lead him to search for a life as an air steward?"

Rolf… you gotta like the guy, but sometimes I wonder. Does he seriously I think I would run off and become an air steward? I hardly think they would hire a pig. Personally, I thought the joke that the dumb guy and the greedy guy were playing on the neurotic guy was pretty funny. I even went along with it even though I really don't like wearing human clothes.

Those guys are pretty funny. Gertrude, Victor and the others don't really appreciate them as much, because they make the master mad and we have to hear him yelling all the time (there are WAY too many short tempered people around here). Gertrude and the other chickens are grateful for the dumb one and how he is teaching them out to swim. She says that it part of their liberation… go figure…

Well, it's getting late, I'd better go hit the hay. Errr… yeah, literally hay. Heh.

It's been nice talking to you.

The plank of wood smiles,

"No problem! See you tomorrow."

Such a cool guy…

-End-

Jaha: Wow… I didn't expect that ending.

Cactus Buddy: Nor did I!

Jaha: Well, everyone, I don't know what I was thinking in the planning process of this story, but I hope you enjoyed it. I always like to do original things… and a Wilfred POV is rather rare! ^_^

Cactus Buddy: Jaha! Be careful while saving.

Jaha: Yeah yeah… I know. Review!